The Promises Beyond The Thunderstorm
by MadameCissy
Summary: I made a promise to myself and now I make a promise to you. I have changed and so have you. We are different now. And the world will just have to wait and see. Hermione/Bellatrix.
1. Prologue

**Summary: **Bellatrix was never born evil. Life itself made her what she became. Having grown up in a family that cared more about magical blood than love and suffering heart ache and disappointment, she became a disillusioned soul. But there is always hope underneath and a fragment of her past makes Bellatrix realise what she once was and what she could still be. She takes a drastic decision, one that puts her life in danger, and she finds a different path in life. One where there is turmoil but also the slumbering love for another person; someone who can also love her in return.

**Pairing: **Bellatrix Lestrange/Hermione Granger. There are some mentions of loving Lily Evans in her school days.

**Disclaimer: **The whole Potter universe belongs to the amazing JK Rowling and I own nothing. Also, I have taken a few liberties here with potions as well as years that particular people were in school.

**Author Note: **This is my very first Harry Potter fanfic. I write mainly femmeslash so this story will contain female/female love. If this bothers you, don't let the door hit you on the way out. If you like it, please review!

* * *

_For I am shamed by that which I bring forth,__  
And so should you, to love things nothing worth.__  
(William Shakespeare – Sonnet 72)_

**Prologue**

From the day Bellatrix was born into the Black family as the eldest daughter to Cygnus and Druella her life had been laid out for her. Bellatrix meant "warrior" in Latin and when she was five her mother told her it was also a star in the Orion constellation and is sometimes called "The Amazon Star". All she had to do, and all that was simply expected of her, was be a willing follower of the rules, not be a disgrace to her family name and live by the expectations put on her. And she did so, without ever asking questions.

Dark curls were her most impressive feature, against her porcelain skin and with big brown, heavy lidded coffee coloured eyes and thin yet blood red lips. Physically she was the most fit and attractive one of the three sisters with round curves in all the right places. Beauty was the wrong word to describe Bellatrix. It was the word people used for Narcissa instead, who was younger and carried her beauty well ever since she was a child. But Bellatrix was... different. Something about her made people turn their head whenever they laid eyes upon her.

She hated her father. He was a selfish man who cared about nothing other than his pure blood wizard family and the pride of keeping its bloodline clean. Yet he carried the burden of shame of having a wife that produced no sons and the family name would die once his daughters married. Often her mother, with tearful eyes, would beg her to try and change. She loved the poor old man dearly.

At the tender age of 11 finally came the freedom she had so desperately desired growing up in the Black house as she received her letter for Hogwarts and she was the first of the three daughters to go to Hogwarts. Stepping on the Hogwarts Express and watching the station fade into nothing behind her opened something inside her she had never experienced before. Before that day she had believed she did not feel anything but starting that day, she knew she was after all capable to feel something after all. She felt the urge to explore and understand and the loneliness did not bother or worry her. Nowhere could be more lonely than home.

Bellatrix was all alone, away from her family. She knew nobody but yet everybody knew her, with her respectable last name. That very same last name had already created expectations of her without even knowing they existed.  
That very first time she made her way through the carriages, her bag safely and tightly pressed against her chest until she found a carriage that was empty. She sat down by the window, placing the bag on the floor by her feet and folded her hands in her lap.

Arriving at Hogwarts was an experience that both impressed and terrified young Bella. The big crowds made her feel uncomfortable whereas the solitude of the castle was her pleasure. During the Sorting Ceremony the Sorting Hat placed her in Slytherin and she started her lessons, proving herself to be a skilled young witch with lots of potential.

Bellatrix never spoke much to people and over time some people found their way closer to her while others learned to stay away from where they were not wanted. She found comfort and safety in her own silence, with her own thoughts for company.  
She did not enjoy dinner times at Hogwarts. Often she would just walk in to gather some food and leave to eat somewhere she could be alone. The Great Hall would be too crowded. The noises would only make her nervous.  
She liked to play with her food as others ate, and would often wait with eating until many of the others had left.

Young Bellatrix could often be found with a book, sitting underneath a tree near the lake or an abandoned corridor in parts of the castle. She could be found sitting in windows looking at the castle grounds as the sun set behind the lake and its surrounding mountains. She was well mannered, respectful towards teachers and finished her homework on time. She worked hard and her skills showed without a lot of practice. Several teachers saw a lot of potential.

But whenever the holidays would break the emptiness and numbness inside her would return and as she made the journeys home, she would watch the world outside her window flashing by. Bellatrix was an extraordinary young woman and what the future held for her was bound to be great. It was when her younger sisters Andromeda and Narcissa joined her at Hogwarts and both were sorted into Slytherin, everything began to change.

She found Narcissa often spend time in the company of both Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy, two young men both renowned for their knowledge and experience of Dark Arts. Lucius even went as far as bragging about this guy that was going to change the world and clear the Wizarding community from shameful half-bloods and dirty little Mudbloods. He was not alone in all of this. Many of her fellow classmates and others from different years were intrigued by this. She stood at the side line as she carefully watched how Lucius manipulated her sister. She wanted to step up, defend her and tell her what a dirty, pathetic little freak Malfoy was. But all she did was stand and watch and hide away, with the safety of her book. Unaware that around her, the darkness had started to close in on her...


	2. The Shackles That Bind Her

_"A tragedy need not have blood and death;_  
_it's enough that it all be filled with that majestic_  
_sadness that is the pleasure of tragedy"_  
_(Jean Racine)_

* * *

This year was going to be different. She had turned seventeen during the summer holidays and was as far away from the somewhat shy and inquisitive eleven year old that travelled to Hogwarts on her own six years ago as ever before. She was now considered a woman and had noticed that over the summer holiday's people had started treating her as such. Everything had changed. She had overheard conversations leading up to her seventeenth birthday and had felt the staring eyes. People had come around to the house and she had found herself being introduced to people she had never met before. Her mother kept requesting her to be on her best behaviour and when a new, blood red dress was bought for her to wear to an evening Ball she knew. Inside her, something had broken and this last time of making her journey to Hogwarts was different from all the others ever before.

"I suppose Slughorn will be trying to round up another load of idiots this year," Narcissa said, sounding much like the teenager she was. Bellatrix lifted up her head from the palm of her hand even though the comment was more aimed at their other sister Andromeda. Narcissa was only young but yet carried the beauty of a grown woman, which had not stayed unnoticed at Hogwarts. Bellatrix sighed. She had been staring at the English countryside outside the window from the moment their journey started, mostly ignoring her sister's excited conversations. If they only knew what was on her mind. If they could only understand.

"Please speak for yourself, Cissy, as I do not consider myself to be such an idiot," Bellatrix sneered yet her words had been chosen perfectly and still sounded somewhat lady like. She glanced at her younger sister for nothing more than a few seconds.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Bella," Andromeda grinned and elbowed her older sister. Andromeda had always been the playful and cheeky one of the three of them. Bellatrix ignored the mild shot of pain in her side and knew better than to respond. She simply rolled her eyes and ran her slim fingers through her raven black curls that fell down the sides of her face and her back. The latest edition of the Daily Prophet lay abandoned on the empty seat in front of her. A picture of the Minister of Magic was moving his hands in a broad gesture as cameras flashed. Andromeda inspected her older sister's face. "I think Cissy is simply trying to establish whether your spot has become vacant."

"It has been so since the moment he tried to drag me into that stupid club," Bellatrix snorted and averted her eyes back to the window. The scenery had changed. "You are free to go in my place, Cissy. I have got better things to do and worry about. Don't bother giving that nutcase my kind regards either." She rose from her chair and opened the compartment door. "I need some air."

She made her way through the train carriages, passing several compartments filled with students until she encountered the little old witch with the trolley. She stuck her hand in her robe to pay for her pumpkin pasty and some juice but from behind her came a voice. "Please, let me be so kind to pay for this, Miss Black."

She turned on her heels and was faced with a young man. He had raven black hair like her own and green eyes that had sunk deep into his head and yet his face looked friendly enough. Thick busy eyebrows and a nose that looked like it had seen several too many Quidditch games. Someone had done a rather poor job fixing it. She nodded politely and produced a smile as she clutched her pasty and drink against her chest. She averted her eyes. "Thank you."

"Miss Bellatrix Black, if I am not mistaking?" he inquired kindly and with the clear presence and grace of a young man raised in a well off Wizarding family and Bellatrix cocked her head. She picked up the trace of a weak French accent in his voice. When he saw the inquisitive look in her dark brown eyes appear he hung his hand in remorseful shame before he looked back up, glancing at her through thick black eyelashes. "I apologize. How rude of me. Let me introduce myself, Miss Black. My name is Rodolphus Lestrange."

She felt an intense feeling of sickness inside her and dug her nails so firmly into her pasty in order to restrain herself and remain polite and friendly the poor pasty snapped and squirted its pumpkin content all over the nearest window. Before she had even managed to pull out her wand he had done the same and cleared up the mess with a soft muttered spell.

"I am sorry, Miss Black. I did not mean to startle you," he apologized and Bellatrix shook her head, acknowledging his apologies. He bent his head and gave her a brief nod. "I shall leave you to the rest of your journey. Have a pleasant day."

He started back down the carriage and she watched him for a few seconds. He had the obvious build of a good Quidditch player and she had observed he was in Slytherin. Part of her wondered why she had never noticed him before. Bellatrix attempted to do the right thing and she called him back. He turned at the sound of her voice "Wait." She approached him and took a deep breath. "I-I did not mean to appear ungrateful." Bellatrix paused and swallowed hard. "I have only recently become aware of the _arrangements_ that are to take place over the Christmas holidays."

He nodded. "My father too informed me only yesterday, Miss Black." He then slowly looked into her eyes. "But if I may say so, he has made a fine choice. Your father must be a very proud man for having such a beautiful daughter." He took her hand and carefully brought it up to his lips. As they touched her skin she closed her eyes, convinced that if she would watch she was going to vomit. He placed a kiss on the back of her hand and let go of her fingers. As he then firmly walked away she suppressed the urge to look for the toilets and wash her hands but headed straight back to her sister's compartment, only to find they were no longer alone.

"Bellatrix," the young man who was now sitting where she had sat only minutes earlier spoke with a cold tone. Fine, light blonde hair fell down his thin face down to his shoulders, his skin almost as pale as her own and she met his ice cold blue eyes across the carriage. She recognized the person that was Lucius Malfoy immediately and suddenly it all felt even more revolting.

"Lucius." She spoke his name with disgust and venom, losing every form of lady like behaviour, and now she suddenly realized where she had seen the man she had just met before. He was often in Malfoy's company and part of the group that had been talking about the apparent Dark leader they knew. She sighed. Just what she needed.  
She glanced at Narcissa, who was glowing in admiration for the young man sitting across her. With all her heart she wanted to tell her he wasn't worth even a second of her precious time but yet she too knew Narcissa was doing what was expected of her. Yet, only she seemed to enjoy it. She knew her parents had already agreed on the engagement between Narcissa and Lucius. Only Narcissa did not know it yet.

"I hope you enjoyed your final summer holidays?" he questioned her, his eyes narrowing. It was his last year too and she had heard her father comment that he was going to work for the Ministry after graduating. Just what the world needed. Another selfish prick that cared for nobody else but himself. She wondered if he was going to work for her father.

"It was quite sufficient," Bellatrix answered distantly, feeling no need to engage in any form of conversation with Malfoy. She observed how Andromeda watched the conversation with a comic smile. Andromeda knew how much Bellatrix hated the Malfoy heir. Narcissa was too infatuated to observe anything that was not related to the physical appearance of the young man in their carriage.

"I suggest you get your filthy claws of her, Malfoy," another voice spoke from outside the carriage and Bellatrix smirked at the appearance of Sirius, closely followed by James Potter. Malfoy rose from his seat in defence but with the presence of Bellatrix, Sirius and James he knew better than to even move his hand in the direction of his wand. He just briefly kissed Narcissa's hand before having to walk past the three people in the carriage's open door. Bellatrix would swear she watched Sirius mouth something quietly only seconds before Malfoy tripped over his robes and fell flat faced onto the carriage floor. Still smirking she claimed her seat back and looked at Narcissa.

"Sirius is right you know," she said calmly and slowly leant in towards Narcissa "Malfoy is a piece of filth. What good can he possibly do?"

"Speaking of scumbags that are good for nothing," Sirius stated and Bellatrix slowly looked up. She met his eyes and could see his disgust. She knew he had a rough year, since he no longer lived with his parents after being kicked out and she knew he never really thought highly of the Black family anyway. Some moments, she wished she had only possessed a fragment of his freedom and the chance to stand up for herself. "Bella, what are these rumours about the upcoming Black-Lestrange engagement I keep hearing up and down the carriage?"

"Bella?" Andromeda cried out in shock and looked at her older sister. "You are marrying the Lestrange heir?" She shook her head in what could only be seen as sadness and disbelief but she didn't question her sisters' decision not to tell her. "Seems mother and father sure played their cards right."

"Yes, it would appear so," Bellatrix muttered silently and her eyes once again drifted to the window. She carelessly played with a black curl, twirling it around her finger. The world outside had changed now that they were rapidly approaching Hogshead. They were not long from arriving back at Hogwarts. This was the last time she would make this journey at the start of the year. And now, more than ever, she knew everything would change.

Just as she was about to speak again another figure appeared at the compartment door, already dressed in school uniform. "James?" It was a woman's voice; sweet and tender. Bellatrix looked up though she was not the one being addressed and out of nowhere her heart jumped up inside her chest. Across her, James Potter rose from his seat and walked up to the door. He took the girl's hand into his own.

"Lily," He said and Sirius whistled between his teeth, and her two sisters giggled, as James leant in and kissed the auburn haired, green-eyed girl. Bellatrix averted her eyes at the sight of her cousin's best friend kissing Lily Evans. She knew the girl was Muggle born. She knew what her father would call her. She did not dare speak that word. But the sight of Lily made her feel uncomfortable inside. And it had nothing to do with her blood, but everything with her appearance.

She was beautiful and had amazing green eyes. Not to mention she had a caring personality and a funny sense of humour. Her smile brightened up the entire compartment. Now that James pulled away, Lily's eyes wandered through the compartment. She didn't bother addressing Sirius, since she had seen loads of him during the holiday. But she spoke to the three Black sisters. "Hello Andromeda, Narcissa." She paused as her eyes found Bellatrix. "Bellatrix, did you have a good holiday?"

"It was _different__,__"_ Bellatrix answered carefully, wondering whether Lily had already overheard the rumours about her upcoming engagement. Judging from the pitiful smile Lily sent her way, she guessed she did.

"I heard about you and Rodolphus Lestrange. It is a bit of a surprise, isn't it?" Lily said, narrowing her eyes as she watched the expression on Bellatrix's face change. She knew the marriage was arranged and it was clear to her Bellatrix had no warm feelings about the situation whatsoever. Her voice became even softer. "I-I suppose congratulations are in order?"

"I suppose," Bellatrix acknowledged and through her eyelashes looked at the young woman who was most likely going to become Lily Potter someday. She was beautiful and since the first time she saw her, she had been the person who made her heart race faster. It had opened up something inside of her she had never felt before. It was Lily who had for the first time filled her heart with a yearning desire to be loved and the immense pain of knowing that love could never be answered. As the years had gone by, she had simply managed to live with the aching feeling as she had learned to live with everything else.

As much as Bellatrix had always believed she had never been able to feel anything, meeting Lily had changed her perspective. She sighed and averted her eyes back to the window. Lily was the one person she could never ever be with, let alone love. The fact she was a woman didn't matter to her. It wouldn't be a first. But she was Muggle born and dating James Potter and she was Bellatrix Black and her family expected her to marry into another pure blood family and produce pure blood children. It was what expected of her. And it was what she had to do. She had no choice.

She watched how Lily and James walked off together, trying desperately to ignore the stinging feeling inside her heart. The desperation had never been so strong. She had never felt more trapped. Sirius rose too, to join his friends and prepare for the arrival at Hogwarts. Bellatrix blinked a few times, took a deep breath and fought and internal battle to hide whatever was going on inside her, then she swallowed and stood up. "We'd better get changed into our robes. We'll be arriving soon."

~()~

She knew he watched her. Even though he pretended not to, she caught him looking at her every single time during meal times. She tried to ignore his piercing and burning eyes but couldn't. In frustration and anger she put her fork down, pushed her plate away, knocked over her cup of pumpkin juice and rose from her seat. Narcissa looked up but before she could even ask Bellatrix had already left the Great Hall, the one place in the castle she could not stand to be in.

During meal times the castle was abandoned and she made her way through the endless hallways, turning corners every so often. Eventually she found the place she had been desperately looking for since her arrival several hours earlier. It was an abandoned corridor. Nobody ever came here. It was quiet and abandoned and had one massive window that, in her opinion, gave her the most beautiful view over the castle grounds. Numerous times she had sat here, watching the sun go down behind the lake and counting the millions of stars in the sky.

She felt cold and numb and as she climbed into the window sill silent tears ran down her face. She had promised herself not to cry but she couldn't fight it anymore. Never before had she felt so trapped. She pulled up her legs to her chin, wrapping her arms around her knees and rocking herself backwards and forwards.

Her mind took her back to the day before, when her mother and father had called her into the dining room. They had requested she'd come downstairs because there was something important to discuss. As she had made her way around the table to sit down and face her parents she knew what they were going to say. She had been raised in this family and knew its traditions and values yet never had she quite believed it would happen to her.

"Your mother and I have spoken to a well-respected, pure blood wizard family from France," her father spoke. He used the tone of voice he used when he did not wish to be interrupted. She hung her head. "They have a home in England and their son attends Hogwarts and he is in the same year as you. His name is Rodolphus Lestrange. He is a Quidditch player who has a lot of potential to build himself a great life. We have arranged a meeting so you two can be introduced but it would benefit both families a great deal with a permanent relationship was to be formed."

"You have promised me to this man?" she had questioned carefully, her eyes focused on the dark wooden table she was sat on. "Father, do you wish me to marry this man?" Never in her life had she dared to disobey her father.

"Arrangements have been made and the engagement will be announced during Christmas," her father concluded and folded his hands in his lap. That was it. Case closed. She had to marry Rudolphus Lestrange. Through her eyelashes Bellatrix looked at her mother. Over the years she had learned to see the signs of a woman unhappy in life. "The wedding can take place once both of you have graduated from Hogwarts. In the meantime..."

"Remember you are a member of the Black family and act with the responsibility and grace and purity that comes with one of the eldest, pure blooded Wizarding names," Bellatrix finished her father's sentence and nodded before rising from her chair. "Yes, father. Can I go now?" When he nodded she left the dining room and climbed the spiral staircase back to her own room. There she threw herself on the bed and cried. She cried like she had never cried before.

All night she lay awake, with her hands folded under her head. Her mother had knocked, requesting to be allowed in but she told her to leave. Her tears had dried and had been replaced by a numbing feeling inside her. It had stopped her crying and she promised herself she would not cry again. No more. Tears would no longer fall.

She had always overheard girls talk about love and marriage and being with the man they loved and chose and didn't have to stay pure till they married. Seeing Lily Evans and James Potter together was the image of freedom she was never able to have. She envied them even though she had been raised to loath them and be disgusted when they married a Muggle or a Half blood. Her whole life had been arranged for her so how did she even dare think her marriage would be anything different?

She had tried to walk the paths of life she had not been allowed to follow. Secretly, she had attempted to lead a different life and would enter into marriage being no longer pure. Eyes were everywhere and every step she took would find her father eventually. So far he had no knowledge of her ways and she could only hope he never would. Her encounters with the temptations in life had been brief but frequent, being a temptress and a mistress. She was a trickster and a mystery to many who surrounded her.

"Bella?"

Andromeda approached her from behind, carefully putting a hand on her shoulder and with a quick brush Bellatrix wiped the tears away. She turned to look at her younger sister, suppressing the urge to tell her to leave her alone and go away. Andromeda was the middle one but also very often appeared to be the wisest, with a listening ear and good advice whenever it was needed. Bellatrix lifted up her heavy eyelids and brushed a curl out of her face. "How did you know where I was?"

"I am your sister, Bella. I have known your hiding places from the moment I came to Hogwarts," Andromeda smiled and observed her sister "Are you all right?" When Bellatrix nodded she recognized the lie but knew Bella did not wish to talk about what had happened. She sighed. "Listen, I am not sure if I should tell you this and I am sure mother and father are not aware but Rodolphus is bad news, much like that Malfoy figure Narcissa is drooling over." When at Hogwarts Andromeda sounded nothing like the lady she was expected to be and Bellatrix smiled at her choice of words.

"He is into all that Dark stuff Malfoy is continuously bragging about whenever he gets the chance," Andromeda whispered, her eyes piercing into Bella's and suddenly grasped Bella's hand "I know Cissy won't be able to resist if Malfoy decides to lure her in but you are stronger, Bella. You are not a child; you cannot be manipulated and deceived by simple but dangerous minds. And I know you do not want to marry him."

"Are we bound to live in a loveless life?" Bellatrix questioned sadly "Our father is ashamed because we are not his sons, simply daughters. And now I am forced to marry a man he has picked out for me, a man I do not know and do not love." She looked at her younger sister. "Maybe I should run away"

"You could," Andromeda was never someone to say something couldn't be done or achieved. "I fear we do not have a choice, my dear sister. We were simply born into the wrong family."

"I bet Sirius agrees with you on that," Bellatrix answered cynically "He practically wishes he was a Potter. Speaking of which, he is a pure blood, just like us, but nobody minds him marrying Lily."

Andromeda narrowed her eyes and watched Bella's expression change. "That bothers you, doesn't it? That he is going to marry Lily Evans?"

"I suppose so," Bellatrix answered as she felt her cheeks turn red. She turned her head and looked out of the window. "I think you should go back to common room, Andy. They are not going to be happy with you being out at this time. If you see Cissy, tell her I'll see her in the morning."

Andromeda nodded and started to head back. She spoke in a soft, warm voice "Goodnight, Bella."

She didn't look up. More silent tears ran down her face. "Goodnight."

~()~

Christmas came too soon. A thick layer of sparkling white snow had covered Hogwarts in a soft blanket. The wind was ice cold, the nights felt longer than ever and the days were too short. The castle had been decorated with massive Christmas trees in the Great Hall, Christmas decorations and thousands of candles. The ghosts would be humming and whistling Christmas tunes as they flew by, with Peeves having come up with dirty version he would scream down the full corridors, sometimes juggling candles, when classes had just finished. Most students found it highly hilarious, whereas the teachers instructed him to stop his vile behaviour but Peeves was not known for listening to anybody.

With a heavy heart Bellatrix had packed her bag, unsure what to take with her and what to leave at Hogwarts. Her hands were shaking. She didn't look forward to the journey home, knowing that Christmas Day would be the day her engagement to Rudolphus Lestrange would be announced. Behind her both Narcissa and Andromeda sat on one of the beds, watching their elder sister pack her bag.

"Does this mean that once you are engaged you and Rodolphus are a couple, even back here at Hogwarts?" Narcissa asked carelessly as she ran her fingers through her hair.

Bellatrix shivered to the thought. "I would assume so, Cissy. Since the whole Wizard world already knows I suppose there will be no secret." She packed her final dress and then closed her suitcase. It felt as if inside her she was completely hollow. She expected that over Christmas her parents would also confirm the engagement between Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy. She turned around and forced a smile on her lips. "Ok, let's go."

She picked up her suitcase and her two sisters followed her. As she closed the door to her dormitory behind her, she had one final good look. After the holidays, nothing would ever be the same again. With a shrug she closed the door and walked away from her life at Hogwarts as she had known it.


	3. A Lie Never Lives To Be Old

"_Desperation is the raw material of drastic change.__  
Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in__  
can hope to escape."__  
(William S Burroughs)_

* * *

A deep purple coloured velvet dress clung to all the right curves of her body. It had been her mother's present for her engagement to Rudolphus Lestrange. He was standing next to her, dressed in one of the finest suits a man could ever wear. She loathed the sight of him. Now having him hold her hand into his and caressing the back of her neck made her stomach twist and turns with sickness and brought her out in goose bumps. The thought of marrying this man and having to share her life with him was something that simply disgusted her. The immense feeling of sadness inside her was overwhelming.

She forced a smile on her face as the cameras flashed in front of her and blinded her eyes. Her father had spared no effort. The Daily Prophet had been invited to the double engagement party. She had been right. Her parents also announced the engagement of Narcissa, who was still under aged, to Lucius Malfoy. But compared to her Narcissa was over the moon. As she looked beside her, her younger sister had wrapped her arms around the blonde man's neck as the photographer took their picture.

"I had not realized how you beautiful you are, Bellatrix," Rudolphus whispered besides her, brushing her hair behind her ear. She shivered at his touch and closed her eyes. He mistook it for pleasure and carefully followed the round line of her jaw down to her neck. She held her breath, overwhelmed by discomfort. She tried to imagine he was someone else. Anyone else. She tried to block out every possible feeling, like she had done ever since she was a child. She wondered to herself if she would be able to live a live filled with lies.

"Excuse me a moment," she said politely and managed to free herself from his persistent touches. She had seen Lucius walk away from Narcissa and she was curious to follow him and see what he was up to. She remained at a distance as he left the crowded room. He stood still in the hallway to orientate himself and then walked into an empty room down the hall. She held her breath before carefully making her way down the hall; her feet barely touched the floor. She reached the door and carefully peeked around the corner. Lucius stood in the middle of the room, one sleeve rolled up. She saw the tattoo on his arm and gasped in shock. It was a black mark, with a skull and a snake for its tongue. It looked hideous and disgusting, dark and dangerous. She froze when she felt someone standing behind her who put a firm hand on her shoulder.

"It is not very polite to spy on people, Bella," Rudolphus whispered as she pushed her into the room. Lucius looked up and his eyes widened at the sight of Bellatrix.

"You have decided to join us?" he questioned but she ignored him. She glanced at the Rudolphus, the man that from this evening on was her fiancée and the blonde man standing across her, the man who was going to be her brother in law. Her eyes wandered down Rodolphus's arm as he too rolled up his sleeve and exposed the same mark to her.

"You two are mad," she exclaimed and tried to back away. Rudolphus stopped her from doing so and grabbed her wrists firmly. She flinched in pain, her skin bruising under his strong fingers. He pushed her back into the room and slammed the door shut behind her. She was trapped with the two men and there was no way out.

"We are loyal servants of the Dark Lord. We will fight for him, die for him if we have to," Lucius answered with a dirty smirk and ran his fingers across the tattoo like mark on his arm "You may not like it Bella, but it was convincing enough for your father to allow us to marry two of his daughters. The Dark Lord will look after him from now on. There will be a time when you'll join us."

"And why would I do that?" Bellatrix challenged him. His ice cold blue eyes pierced into hers, making her feel as if he could see through her.

"You are alone. Empty and numb. Your father does not love you and forced you into an arranged marriage. Your whole life you have spent in weakness, living in torment. You cannot love who you want to love," Lucius spoke and Bellatrix felt a terrible sting of sadness as he pointed out the exact states of her life. Tears filled her eyes and she desperately tried to cling on to the promise she made to herself that no more tears would fall. Something inside her shattered. "Nobody loves you now, Bella. He will love you. He does love you and will look out for you, protect you. He will give you control. Tell me something, have you never desired to be in control and feel power like never before? To know you stand up for yourself and no one else but you controls you? Tell me Bella, have you ever wished the terrible emptiness would go away?"

She reached up, briskly wiping the tears away. The pain was terrifying. Everything she ever felt was put on display. It felt as she was being ripped open and torn apart. All she wanted was for it to end, to go away. She shivered in fear and shock. "I..."

Rudolphus leant in; his lips now terribly close to her ear. She was too distraught to fight him off or push him away. "Your father doesn't want you to join the Dark Lord, Bella. But he doesn't love you. He never has. He wanted a son. He got you. You are nothing more than an embarrassment to him. The things he did to you."

Bella shook her head. "Stop! STOP!" She cried out, tears now freely streaming down her flushed face. She glanced at Lucius. Something in the room had changed and it felt as if darkness was slowly closing in on her. Her face was puzzled as she looks from one man to the other in confusion. "Lucius, what have you done?"

"Come on, Bella," Lucius whispered as he carefully pulled out his wand, aiming it at the floor as the dark clouds in the room slowly closed in on them "He wants you to join us. He _needs _you, Bella. A witch with your skills and your potential would be a priceless treasure to us. We will be great. We will be strong. Take my hand and everything will change. You will be in control, for the first time in your life."

Rudolphus had let go of her wrist and now carefully rolled up the sleeve of Bella's dress, exposing her lower arm. He brushed his lips against her ear. "You know you want to."

She closed her eyes as the dark clouds overwhelmed her. Her feet lost touch with the floor as she floated in the air. She felt sensational as something amazingly powerful came over her, overpowering her. The burst of energy that shot through her veins made her feel more alive than ever before in her life. A sharp, burning pain began to creep up her arm but she did not pull away. Smells, senses, touches and whispers penetrated her mind. Images flashed before her eyes. She saw the face of a horrible disfigured looking man and the skull with the snake. She heard things in her head she never ever wanted to hear again. The scent of burning flesh penetrated her nose.

Just as sudden as it had started, it stopped. She landed on both her feet and brushed strings of messy curls out of her face. She slowly looked up, her eyes finding both Lucius and Rodolphus. Both looked down at her arm. She slowly lowered her gaze and saw the same Dark Mark had appeared on her arm; the skull and the snake protruding from its mouth. She slowly looked back up to the two men and suddenly her lips curled up into a devious smile. "He is calling me. He wants me to join Him."

Lucius and Rodolphus both nodded but it was Lucius who spoke. His voice was almost hissing, though his words were persistent and his eyes pierced into Bellatrix's brown eyes. He could see the fire flickering inside her. "You should go to him, the Dark Lord does not like wait" Without warning and with two loud 'crack' both he and Rudolphus Dissaparated

Her arm was glowing as the mark became even darker and she felt the powerful urge to leave, a sensation that was calling her. An invisible hand that pulled her, a voice in her hand that demanded her presence at once. Bellatrix didn't waste a second and with a loud 'crack' she too Dissaparated

The life she had known was truly over. She had changed that night. She joined Him that night. And for the first time, she felt in control. She had fallen into the darkness and was falling deeper as the days and months passed on. Even before she finished Hogwarts she had become a Death Eater and from that night on, her life had become an even bigger lie.

* * *

"_A lie never lives to be old."__  
(Sophocles)_


	4. The Lies Of Trust

_"There is not enough darkness in__  
all the world to put out the light__  
of even one small candle."__  
(Charles Austin Beard)_

* * *

Bellatrix gently washed the blood of her pale hands in the marble white sink with golden taps as she met her own eyes in the oval shape, ruby decorated mirror. The blood stained water disappeared slowly down the drain. She noticed the drops of blood on the side of her cheek and raises a wet hand to wash it away. Her red lips curl up into an evil, somewhat disturbed smile. It had been another night of torture. The black evening sky had been filled with tormented screams from their helpless victims and pleas begging for mercy. Blood had been scattered on the ground, curses and jinxes bounced off the walls. Their two victims never stood a chance against the three of them. Eventually the screams went quiet and a deafening silence had fallen over the night. Then, softly, the young baby that lay in its crib in the corner of the room started crying. She had walked over to it, pointing her wand right at his heart. But something had stopped her. Something about the innocent eyes and the desperate cries for his mother's loving arms stirred an emotion inside her she had not felt before. She lowered her wand and looked at her fellow tormenters, who stood hovering over their two victims on the bedroom floor. She did not need to speak. They Apparated but not before she had cast the Dark Mark into the star riddled sky, leaving their tormented, helpless victims in pools of their own blood and the baby crying in the night.

"Bella."

She turned as her name was called by a soft voice coming from the dark. She was surprised and shocked to see her younger sister standing in the room with her. She must have just Apparated though she had not heard her arrive. Narcissa was neatly dressed in a black gown with red velvet roses. Her hair carefully held back in a black bun in her neck, her make-up flawless as ever. She did not need the makeup but used it as Lucius' request. Her red lips curled up into a smile at the sight of her elder sister who now dried her hands.

"Lucius told me about this evening," she whispered, her eyes scanning the room as if she tried to make sure they were alone and then she approached her older sister "Did they tell you anything?"

Desperation appeared on Bellatrix's face. She pouted and with a slim finger caressed the wand she kept hidden in her dress. "Nothing more than we already knew. Nasty liars and blood traitors. We only just managed to get away before the Order arrived. I am not quite sure where Barty went. Rodolphus has faded into the night, probably trying to hide somewhere. I came back here, where I belong." Suddenly she looked up and her black eyes met her sisters. For the first time in what had been so many years Narcissa saw emotion reflect in her sister's eyes. There were no tears. She had not known Bellatrix to cry in all these years but now Bellatrix's lips were shaking, her hands desperately clung onto the filthy blood stained towel in her hands. "We need to find him, Cissy. He needs us. He needs me."

"Bella," Narcissa whispered and took her sister's hands into her on. Bellatrix's hands were pale, her fingers still clenched into the towel. She leant in, their faces now only separated by inches of air. "Lucius says that maybe he is really gone."

Bellatrix's eyes fired up and pierced into her younger sisters. "HE IS NOT DEAD!" Her lip trembled, this time in anger. Narcissa knew her sister long and well enough to know this was a dangerous sign and she let go of Bella's hands and took a step back. Any minute she expected a slap across her face but Bellatrix controlled her anger towards her sister. "Lucius," She paused and chose her words more carefully; in a vague attempt not to hurt her sister "...Is not as loyal to the Dark Lord as I am." Her eyes narrowed, her voice changed to a low hissing tone. "I should have known he would desert Him. Your husband is a traitor!"

"Mind your tongue, Bellatrix Lestrange," Narcissa warned her sister, using her full name. She had not used her full name since they were children, only ever using it when she was angry with her sister. She did not take insults to her beloved husband well. "We have a family to look out for. _Our son_. Lucius has been a loyal servant to the Dark Lord, Bella, just as much as you have been. But we have searched and nothing can be found. Maybe he really is dead."

"NO!" Bellatrix cried in agonising despair and began losing control. Narcissa felt tears well up in her eyes at the sight of her sister's desperate state and restrained herself from grabbing her shoulders and trying to reason with her. Bellatrix frantically paced around the room, her hands rose into the air as she whispered manically to herself. After several minutes she came to a stop right by her sister's side. "I will hunt down whoever caused the Dark Lord's disappearance. I have heard Dumbledore arrived at the house where it happened. What do you know?" Bella's voice was filled with anxiety, despair and a dreadfully hidden sense of fear and anger. Narcissa knew her sister well. She could see beyond the blackness of her mad eyes and knew her sister was afraid. She did not and would not accept she had lost the one thing that had ever given meaning to her life.

"Nothing more than you do," Narcissa answered softly and glanced at her sister from the side. Bellatrix's hot breath was a warm glow against her skin. She captured her breath, trying to keep her chest moving slow and steady. Bellatrix was perfect at sensing fear. She was aware of Bellatrix's extreme temper and anger, even more so of her loyalty towards the Dark Lord. Though Bellatrix had always been her protector and yet she cared about nothing or no one other than herself. "While you, Rodolphus and Barty were at the Longbottom's, Lucius tried to find out what happened but we could find nothing." She paused and shivered before she spoke again. This time her voice was barely more than a whisper. "Many have disappeared."

"Traitors! Cowards! The Dark Lord would never have abandoned them," Bellatrix answered and looked at her sister. Suddenly a noise downstairs of the manor that was the Lestranges home startled the dark haired witch. She stood nailed to the floor as she listened and her eyes widened in both shock and pleasure when she recognised the sounds. She pushed Narcissa towards the window. "The Aurors are here. You must leave. They have found me and will try and capture me and take me to Azkaban. Leave Cissy, if you want to stay safe. You have a family."

Loud voices came closer, the sound of footsteps running up the spiral staircase that reached the second floor of the house and Narcissa desperately looked at her older sister. Bellatrix just manically laughed as she took her wand from her robes and pointed it at the door. She had cast her first curse before the Aurors had even made it through the door. The wood shattered, sending sharp splinters through the sky and in the manic display of bright coloured curses, Narcissa turned on the spot and with a soft 'crack' she Dissaparated.

It was the last time she saw her sister.

~()~

"_The Dark Lord will rise again, Crouch! Throw us into Azkaban; we will wait! He will rise again and will come for us; he will reward us beyond any of his other supporters! We alone were faithful! We alone tried to find him!_"

The day they brought her into Azkaban was the day they whispered to her she was going to lose her soul. She would suffer the way she made her victims suffer. The screams and the cold that invaded her did not change her as she was walked down the corridor. She held her head up high as they dragged her, her ankles and wrists securely in shackles. She wore nothing more than a striped prison suit, a name and number tag we sown on to her chest. Her black curls fell down her shoulders and her back. They dragged her down to the end of what seemed to be an endless corridor. Dementors hovered around her but where a cell door was standing open. They shoved her in, with no regard for the fact she landed harshly on the stone cold floor. With a deep sense of humiliation she never thought she'd feel again in her life she looked up and brushed her curls out of her face. She watched the cell door shut and for the first time in what had felt like forever she was all alone once again. A voice from outside the cell called out to her. "Cherish your soul while you still have one, Bellatrix Lestrange. They will take it and they will ruin you. You will _lose _your soul"

She crawled up to the corner of her cell where she climbed on the mattress. The cell stank and through a tiny hole in the wall a little bit of fresh air came in. She sat on her knees, her face by that little hole in an attempt to just feel a little bit of the outside world, listening to the world howling around Azkaban Prison, as if the voices carried along by it would behold the answer to the question about where He was. She had ended up here in love for the Dark Lord. She cherished the Black Mark on her arm with a well-manicured fingernail. Outside she could hear the voices screaming. Those people were wrong. She would not lose her soul. She could not lose her soul. She had lost her soul a very long time ago...

~()~

She had no soul to lose. The tormented screams, the midnight whispers... they had all invaded her mind but her soul could not be broken. She did not have a soul. Her soul had died a long time before she even arrived in Azkaban. Now, in this dirty rotten hell hole that was her prison cell, she lay curled up on a filthy stinking mattress in a room she shared with rats.  
Down the hall Dementors flew down, their gruesome claws and hooded faces – if that's what they could be called- looking through the window type hole at the top of her door. They came to feed. They tried to catch a soul. But she was without a soul. She was no prey to them. She was just another hollow figure, a shell that was worthless to them.

Her soul had not even died the night He disappeared. It had died the night she met Him. And now, He was gone. He had been killed by an infant, a baby. His Killing Curse backfired and killed him. But not after he killed the filthy Mudblood mother and the blood traitor father. Little did she know who the mother had been, or else maybe somewhere in her darkened heart she would have been able to feel something. But she had not felt anything in years. Her mind was the only disturbing companion but her thoughts were simply empty.

Bellatrix had no idea of time. Time was a relative when being locked up in this place. Day and night were equal. There is no light. Her skin was paler than ever before. Her patrician, natural beauty faded. Her eyes had fallen back deeply into her head, hollow black and empty. Her teeth had rotten; her hair was in a state of decay, filled with rat faeces and had it lost it once so beautiful shine. Her skin bitten by the rodents, sores that had gone infected. On her arm the most treasured thing she ever knew. Countless times she had followed the shapes of the Dark Mark, desperately wishing for it to call her once again. It never happened.

Until that night. It glowed in warm pain and she just hysterically laughed to herself. The image became clearer and clearer and throughout cells around the prison she heard outcries of pain and excitement as the Dark Mark announced the return of their Master. Knowing he was calling her ignited a flame inside her and she cherished the Mark with caressing touches. But she could not leave. No one had ever escaped from Azkaban.

She sat kneeled down on the floor, once more caressing her arm and the mark that had become so terribly visible. With a powerful stroke she licked it, tasting a memory from so many years ago. The rumbling noise outside started her and in confusion she looked up.  
The wall came down and fresh yet powerful sea wind penetrated her nose. Dementors circled the skies but did not approach her as she stumbled to the crater that was left by the explosion. She stood on the edge as waves crashed into the rocks and prison walls. The sky was dark and black clouds. She laughed a hollow outcry of excitement and felt the energy flow back into her body as the wind carried her voice. She licked the Dark Mark on her arm once more, feeling His presence and a desperate longing for His closeness. When she finally felt strongly enough all she did was close her eyes and Dissaparated to the nearest possible location. She did not think about her husband, who was left behind in Azkaban somewhere. Her only wish was to join Him and feel complete once more.

~()~

Bellatrix listened carefully as others spoke. She was unaware of the present state of things and needed information to regain her position as the Dark Lord's most faithful servant. The room was buzzing with noises, whispers of anger and outrage. Fourteen years she had been locked up. She had no idea what was going on about the war that had been unleashed into the world once again. She looked from Lucius Malfoy to the Dark Lord and back again as her brain quickly started fitting pieces together. She remembered the night her Master was killed.

"I suppose we owe an explanation the others," Narcissa whispered and caught her sister's eyes. She was shocked by Bellatrix's faded and tormented appearance. She knew she had tried to fix herself up with magic but fourteen years had left her marks upon the once so beautiful woman. But in her eyes she could still see the same faithful devotion she saw the night Bellatrix was taken to Azkaban. But next to that she saw a more wicked expression on her face as the dark haired woman's eyes rolled in her heads. "My Lord, they have missed out on so much. They need to know."

Voldemort nodded and simply made a hand gesture. Narcissa had come to understand this sign of his approval for her to speak. She swallowed and tried to find a powerful, stronger voice to speak. She didn't look at anyone but Bellatrix. "Last year The Dark Lord returned. It was supposed to be our secret. No one was supposed to know." She paused as the Death Eaters who had been present at the graveyard last year remembered what happened. "But it did not go that way. The Order was alerted straight away and Dumbledore reformed his fighters. With His powers growing he was eventually able to free you and the others from Azkaban."

Her features had softened as Bellatrix slowly stepped forward. Her voice was a whisper. "The Order has been reunited?"

"Most members of the Order of the Phoenix are dead," Voldemort spoke clearly, filling Bellatrix with ecstatic energy and the he looked at her from the side and nodded in approval "And most think that old Mad-Eye has gone senile. And Dumbledore will have a hard time finding anyone who will believe I have returned. "

"My Lord, I do not wish to appear inconsiderate or unknowing," Bellatrix knew when she could or could not speak and she stepped forward towards her Master "But during my absence so much has happened and I am afraid to say I am unaware of certain developments. Please my Lord, enlighten me. Who is this boy I keep hearing whispers about?"

"Harry Potter," the Dark Lord hissed, his red eyes flaring up with fire and he held his breath as he faced Bellatrix. Other Death Eaters mumbled at the sound of his name. "Harry Potter... He and Dumbledore have been doing everything to stop me. But they have failed. That night, fourteen years ago, I tried to kill Harry Potter. There was a Prophecy but the spell backfired and I remained as nothing but an empty ghost, trapped to wander the surface of this Earth forever more. Without body to hide in. His parents are dead."

Something snapped inside and she could not explain it nor did she understand it. She had recognised his name. Something inside her stirred. Her hand clenched so tightly around her wand it shot bright red sparks into the air. She quickly let go but could shake off the feeling that had roared inside her.

"His parents?" she stuttered and felt Narcissa's eyes pierce into her but she did not look up. She couldn't. She couldn't risk Narcissa seeing what she felt. She desperately tried to close of her mind, like she had done in Azkaban so that no one could penetrate her mind.

"James and Lily Potter," Lucius mentioned the names with disgust and Bellatrix's eyes widened in shock. She had not heard the name Lily since the day she graduated from Hogwarts so many years ago. Neither had she thought about her but now suddenly the image of the strawberry blonde young woman standing in the doorway of the train carriage reappeared before her eyes. She violently shook her head and the image disappeared.

From that moment on she did not allow herself to think of Lily Evans ever again and went on with the things that were desired of her. She used her magical skills to close her mind. She had never lost her perfect skill of Occlumency, preventing anybody from entering her mind. But when she turned sometimes to find Narcissa look at her she found her younger sister with a look in her eyes that showed her confusion and sadness. Narcissa knew she had closed her mind but she never asked questions. Narcissa's features softened every time she laid eyes upon her. And she too, for the first time she could remember, felt the same. She would look at her sister, trying to realize and understand what the past fourteen years must have been like. And at some nights, as she lived hidden and sheltered away from the whole world whilst the Dark Lord worked out his plan to gain the so desired prophecy, she sat in the window of Malfoy mansion and looked at the stars like she used to do when she was just an innocent child.

It was one of those nights the door cracked behind her and she jumped up, turning around as she did so. She eased as she found Narcissa standing in the doorway. Her younger sister closed the door safely behind her and then carefully made her way to the window, looking at the half moon in the star riddled sky, just like her sister had done. She had undone her hair and it fell freely down her shoulders. It was so much longer than Bellatrix remembered.

"Bella," Narcissa whispered in the warmest voice Bellatrix had heard her use in a long time and she looked at her sister through her long black eyelashes. "You have closed your mind well, my sister. But your eyes betray your confusion. Azkaban did not take your soul."

"I did not have a soul left to take," Bellatrix whispered, realizing she spoke in the past tense and her eyes drifted back to the stars outside her window "They called me His most loyal follower. His most true and faithful servant. They feared my name out there." She paused and swallowed, forcing the tears back to where they came from. Inside her something was finding its way back. "They do not know me. I don't even know myself. Oh yes, I am loyal. But more than that, I am scared. I have nothing left to lose. Something has changed, Cissy. Everything has changed."

Narcissa nodded and gently placed a hand on her sister's shoulder. "I know, Bella. I know." She slowly looked up and captured her older sister's gaze. "But there is no way out. Not now. Not ever. Betrayal leads to death. You must realize that." She hesitated, carefully looking for words before she continued. "When He mentioned Lily…" She saw how Bellatrix's face suddenly softened. "You know this cannot be."

"Believe me, I am very much aware of that," Bellatrix sneered, more than she intended "Always have. Why do you think I let myself be forced into a loveless marriage that never knew one day of happiness? Why do you think I did not do what Dromeda did? I could have. I had plenty of choices. I would have been disowned, Cissy. You would have hated me." She looked up and her eyes met Narcissa's once again. "You knew, all this time?"

Narcissa didn't nod, nor did she shake her head. "We are fools of our own hearts, Bella. We all are. I loved Lucius. I still do. But look where it brought me. Do you really believe I ever intended for my life to be like this? My name both feared and admired? To be whispered about behind my back, have my name spoken with venom and disgrace. Yes, I knew Bella. I always have. You loved her."

She stuck her hand in her deep red silk robe and carefully took out a picture and placed it in her sister's hand, folding her fingers so she clenched the picture safely between her fingers. "Look at this, Bella. Look at him and realize what you are doing." She leant in, gently kissing her sister on her cheek. "Maybe it is not too late after all."

Bellatrix unfolded her hand and looked down at the picture her sister had given her. It was the picture of a boy, around the age of fourteen. Messed up brown hair, glasses and there was a scar on his forehead in the shape of lightening. She looked back up. She knew why Narcissa had given her this photo and she knew who he was. Narcissa averted her eyes and Bellatrix looked back at the image in her hand. He looked so much like her father apart from his eyes.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at those beautiful green eyes. His mother's eyes. Those green eyes would smile at her even when her lips did not; the green eyes that belonged to Lily Evans. She grasped the picture securely in her hand before eventually folding it up and storing it away in her robes. She looked back up. Narcissa had wrapped her arms around herself and stood in the pale moonlight, looking at the stars.

"You know what this would do to me," Bellatrix whispered as she walked up to her sister and looked at her, desperate to understand why Narcissa had done this. She clenched her fists. "You knew that when I looked at this." She noticed how her voice trembled. "I-I want to be alone. Cissy, you should leave."

Narcissa turned and looked at her older sister. She recognised the woman that was standing next to her even though she had not laid eyes upon her for fourteen years. Her face had softened and her eyes even regained some of their sparkle. Bellatrix had slowly started to reform in the beauty she had been before being sent away to Azkaban.

"You no longer love Lily Evans, I know you don't and you cannot love anyone else," Narcissa whispered but it wasn't an observation. It sounded much more like a command and she looked intently into Bellatrix's eyes. "There is no room for it now, Bella. Your heart must not fail under this weakness. You belong on our side, with the Dark Lord."

Bella nodded. She did no longer love Lily. She had stopped loving her a long time ago. There had been others. Women. Men. Meaningless faces, forgotten names. And not her husband or her Dark Master, as others wrongfully assumed. She had loved others but always it had ended up with nothing. Nothing seemed to be the only thing she ever seemed to find in life. Her heart was empty now. It yearned to love. It yearned to be loved. "You showed me this picture. Why?

"You deserve to know," Narcissa answered simply and her face suddenly hardened, as if the emotional conversation with her sister had never happened. She took Bella's hand. "Move away from this now, Bella. Like you said, you have nothing left to lose. This is where you belong. You cannot leave. Your life is here, with the Dark Lord. With me."

Bellatrix watched as Narcissa walked to the door and left her room. The silence of her sister leaving was deafening. When she heard the lock fall into place she carefully turned back to the window and glanced up to the stars. The world had become a different place and breathed heavily under the burden of the oncoming war. The air was filled with pure hatred, and it was hanging over her head. She had been wrong about things in her life. So was Narcissa. How was she to decide about right and wrong? How was anyone?

Something ached inside her, shattering a wall and the pieces were so sharp they cut right through her. She walked away from the window after closing the curtains, removing her dress as she walked to the bed. The velvet dress fell to the floor, exposing her pale skin to the emptiness of the room. Naked and shivering, Bellatrix slipped under the silk sheets of the bed, pulling them up to her face. As she closed her eyes and curled up into a little ball, lying on her side, she desperately attempted to think back to Azkaban. She would do anything for this feeling to go away. She would do anything for the doubt to fade and feel as numb as she had done inside that rotten prison cell. She could not live like this. The loneliness was terrible and the confusion tore her heart apart inside her chest. Agony shot through her, so much more terrible than any pain she had felt in Azkaban.

That night, Bellatrix cried.


	5. In The Darkness Shines The Star

"_When it is dark enough, you can see the stars."__  
(Charles Austin Beard)_

* * *

Night had fallen and Bellatrix looked up to the stars that riddled the sky. She breathed in the cool evening air, her lungs expanding eagerly after having been stuck in the Shrieking Shed for most of the day. The amount of dust and the small spaces had made it hard to breath. But now that the moon had come out she thought it safe to leave her hiding place though she had tightly wrapped her cloak around her and made sure her hood would not be blown in the wind. She had not dared to go into Hogsmeade, though she was desperate for any form of human interaction other than speeches filled by hatred from The Dark Lord. She could not risk being seen. Not by anyone. No one knew she was here. He didn't know she was here. She didn't even know _why_ she was here, only that she could stay for as long as He didn't know she was gone. She shivered at the thoughts of what He would do to her. The punishment for disobeying Him would be severe.

The castle looked the same as it had done so many years ago. The towers, the grounds... Even the flowers and the grass still smelt the same. Now that darkness had fallen the thousands of candles treasured the castle with their orange flames.

She looked up as she saw the shadow by the window in the Gryffindor Tower. Her heart leapt up as she saw the boy climbing into the window sill. He was wearing his pyjamas. This was the boy named Harry Potter. He was Lily's child, Lily's son. He was the one the Dark Lord wanted dead. He was the one that had stirred this change in her. She stepped further back into the shadows, the fear of being seen was too great, as her eyes looked up at the boy sitting in the window. He looked sad, his eyes staring into the night. She recognised his loneliness. It was the same loneliness she felt as she stared out of her window at night.

Days went by and slowly autumn faded into winter. The last leaves fell from the trees and the Lake would soon start to freeze over, inviting a few daring students to try and walk on it. She suspected a fair few would fall through. They always did. It became bitter cold in the Scottish Highlands and her cloak was no longer enough to keep her warm during the nights she lurked in the grounds. She had to result to using magic to make sure she did not lose feeling in her fingers and toes. Her breath would turn into vapour clouds and some nights there would be little snowflakes entangling in her curls. Winter was well and truly here.

As often as she could Bellatrix returned to Hogwarts and felt the safety of the castle like she had felt it before, when she had just been a child. Night after night she would shelter behind the trees and the bushes as she stared at the Gryffindor Tower and watched Harry laugh and talk with his friends. Some other nights he would sit on his own, tormented by his own thoughts and she pitied him. She knew what he was going through.

She could not Apparate in and out of the grounds but she would appear in the Shrieking Shack, which had become her refuge in the day until the comfortable darkness became her shelter at night. From there she used the one way she knew, the tunnel, to get back to the castle and eventually she would emerge from underneath the Womping Willow and make her way onto the grounds. She wondered how, or why, no one had closed it after what had happened here with Sirius two years ago. Maybe Severus Snape, who had been there that night, was exactly the fool she had always believed him to be.

It rained heavily this evening and it was bitter cold as the wind cut through her cloak and her robes. Thick, cold drops fell on her cloak and seeped behind it, down her neck. She was drenched. Her black curls stuck to her forehead. Winter had come early this year. It was only October but it felt almost like winter. Bellatrix knew, just like any other, how cold it would get. The moon was trying hard to get through the thick layer of grey clouds, casting simply a haunting glow across the sky.

Bellatrix looked around. The castle grounds were deserted. Everything was quiet. It had been different earlier. Several students had been sneaking around, up to mischief as she overheard them whisper how much they hated Dolores Umbridge. She had grinned to herself as she suppressed the urge to help them but she knew her appearance would only cause mass hysteria. She now carefully stepped out of the shadows of the trees. She had become more daring over the past few days and now wandered around the grounds carelessly at night.

Harry had gone to bed already. The lights in the Gryffindor Tower had gone out over an hour ago; only the weak light of the fireplace remained visible. Probably some poor student behind on the massive pile of homework the teachers were still giving. She had seen Harry earlier in the early evening. She had only just come out of her hiding and saw him not far from her. He was with his friends. A girl by the name of Hermione Granger and one of the Weasley kids, named Ron. They had talked about something and the debate had appeared quite heated but she had been unable to overhear them. They seemed worried, agitated and anxious. But now they were safely tucked up in their beds and she was safe to walk the grounds.

A branch snapped behind her and Bellatrix spun around. Dark eyes searched the shadows that surrounded her. It had sounded like gunshot through the night. She froze on the spot and sensed the presence of another person not far away. She reached for her wand, unsure what good it would do if it came to a confrontation, but took it anyway and clenched it between her fingers. She carefully moved towards the wall of the castle though her eyes never left the spot where she had first heard the sound.

"Lumos," a soft, low voice whispered and she recognised it straight away. The tip of a wand began to glow only a few metres away. A few more steps in her direction and he would be able to see her.

"Snape," she hissed through gritted teeth. She grasped her wand tighter. The urge to curse him right was strong but instead she turned on her heels, silently, and ran. Her footsteps could only vaguely be heard as she jogged across the grass. She heard his footsteps not far behind her and sensed he was closing in. Her heart pounded in her chest. She could not Disapparate in Hogwarts grounds. All she could do was hide and hope Severus Snape wouldn't find her. She continued running and clutched her wand tightly in her hand. Her skirt grazed the grass as adrenaline raced through her body.

Bellatrix turned a corner and realized she had reached the Entrance. She froze at the sight of the massive oak doors and looked over her shoulder. She could not hear Snape's footsteps anymore. She was panting, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Bellatrix lowered her wand, feeling secure and safe now that Snape was nowhere to be seen or heard. She brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and continued to look up to the doors.

Suddenly a hand was placed gently on her shoulder. She shrieked and spun around, her heart once again racing inside her body. With a shaking hand Bellatrix raised her wand, expecting to be faced with the black, piercing eyes that belonged to Severus Snape. But she was mistaken. Behind her stood a tall wizard with friendly, warm blue eyes and a silver, long beard and dressed in dark blue robes. Albus Dumbledore looked down upon her through his half-moon glasses. He did not smile yet he did not dismiss her either.

"Good evening, Bellatrix," he simply said. He sounded distant and slightly weary of her presence. She lowered her wand at this greeting and simply stared at the Hogwarts Head Master. He continued to speak. "I shall not ask how you found your way into these grounds or why you wander around at night, Bellatrix, but I must admit I am curious. What brings you here on this dark, rainy evening? Surely Lord Voldemort would not send his finest Death Eater on her own." This time there was no hostility in his voice but he was not mocking her either. The loathing she had once felt for this mighty wizard faded and she hung her head in shame and defeat.

"Headmaster," she spoke with a soft, warm whisper but did not look up to him. There was something imposing about Albus Dumbledore that would humble anybody who was in his presence. "I-I have come for advice. If I may only take a few moments of your time, Headmaster." She looked up once again, finding him looking down at her. She could feel he was reading her just like her sister had once done. His lips curled up into a very careful smile when he realised she was telling the truth.

"Very well, I will allow you to enter the castle, Bella," he said, using her short nickname like he once used to do and she nodded carefully. She climbed the few steps to the Entrance door and then followed Dumbledore inside. It was like taking a step back into her life. "Please, follow me."

It was pleasantly warm inside. The corridors had not changed in all these years. The pictures were all still the same. Most of them were asleep, yet once in a while an eye would open to watch this late night visitor follow the Headmaster. She did not remove her soaking wet cloak, knowing some of the paintings would recognise her. Their excited whispers would travel through the castle and before morning would come everybody would know she had been here. Bellatrix followed Dumbledore quietly, staying right behind him as he strode through the corridors. They did not speak. The corridors were only scarcely lit by candles as she climbed the stairs that led to the Headmaster's office.

~()~

Silent tears dripped into her tea as her fingers caressed the mug in which it was served. Dumbledore had asked for the tea. The last time someone had given her tea was in her fifth year at Hogwarts. She carefully looked up and her eyes wandered around the Headmaster's office. It had not changed that much since the last time she had seen it from the inside. It was still as cluttered and filled with the sense of mystery as before. Her eye fell on the Pensieve in the corner.

"I can see you have not lost your eagerness to learn, my dear Bellatrix," Dumbledore said softly as he saw her staring at the Pensieve and she quickly averted her eyes "There is a time and a place for everything but I do not believe my Pensieve is the reason for your arrival here tonight. Or should I say, for several nights?"

She looked puzzled. "Headmaster?"

He smiled for the first time. "I am an old man, Bellatrix. I have other ways of knowing when someone enters these grounds. You yourself should know." He put his own tea down and folded his hands on his desk, now carefully leaning in. Bellatrix sat in an arm chair across his desk. She looked fragile and somehow she reminded him somewhat of a child. "Why did you come here, Bella?"

"I-I need advice" Bellatrix stuttered, her fingers clenching her mug tighter and she swallowed. "Things have changed, Headmaster. A war is inevitable. The Dark Lord is gaining in strength and numbers rapidly. He wants the prophecy." Judging from Dumbledore's expression she guessed that the story about the prophecy was not completely new to him. "The Dark Lord knows about the Order of the Phoenix and He wants the boy. Only the boy can get the prophecy. He will try to trick him." She paused and hesitated. Her heart felt heavy in her chest. "I cannot go through with this, Headmaster."

"You have had a change of heart," Dumbledore stated simply as if it was the easiest and most normal thing to do and Bellatrix wondered whether he thought she actually had a heart. She herself doubted it. Albus Dumbledore observed the dark haired Death Eater. He would never have thought it would be Bellatrix seeking his advice. He had seen what Azkaban had done to her. He knew how tainted and how broken her soul was. But somewhere underneath the young, wise girl he had once seen in these very corridors had remained. He swallowed and his blue eyes searched her face. "What made you change?"

"The boy," Bellatrix answered in all honestly and averted her eyes from the wizard in front of her and stared at the floor. "Narcissa, my sister, showed me his picture one night after I broke out of Azkaban. I didn't know. I didn't know he was her son, Headmaster. But when I saw him..." She looked up. Her eyes welled up and the tears stung behind her eyes. She did not want to cry. The memory of Lily was still vivid. No words could explain how she still missed her. "I cannot kill him. I cannot let the Dark Lord kill him, Headmaster."

"You have put yourself in great danger by coming here, Bellatrix," Dumbledore leant in even further, his blue eyes now piercing into hers. "Are you aware of the danger you are in? You are in the same mortal danger as Harry Potter." She nodded in understanding and did not look away from Albus Dumbledore. "If Voldemort finds out you have been at Hogwarts, he will not hesitate to kill you," Dumbledore paused and his eyes lingered on Bellatrix's face. "You truly must have loved her."

"Love does not save a life, Headmaster. It shall not save mine," Bellatrix answered, her voice gaining strength as she spoke. "If the Dark Lord finds me and wishes to kill me He shall do so. Nothing you or I can do will stop that. But if it saves the boy."

"You will sacrifice yourself to save his life," Dumbledore's voice suddenly had gone weak and he sat back in his chair. He looked at the black haired witch in front of him. She still did not feel safe enough to remove her cloak but he could see the raw features of her face. Azkaban had scarred her beauty. Her eyes had sunken deeper into her head and she was pale, almost fragile. There was no sign of the madness had had once seen reflected in her eyes. Her eyes were still heavy lidded but they were no longer as black as they used to be, in the days of her torturous ordeal in Azkaban. Her cheeks slightly were blushed and her lips were still red. Most of her raven curls went hidden underneath her hood.

"Protecting Harry Potter will kill you," Dumbledore broke the short silence between them. "But you cannot be safe in any world, dear Bellatrix. Whatever happens, people will never see you any different."

"One does not walk away from the Dark Lord, Headmaster. The loyalty comes with a price. The price being life," Bellatrix said softly and with those she ruled out the suggestion he was about to make.

"You may not have to," Dumbledore answered mysteriously and he reached out for a book on a shelf behind her. Without him even touching the leather cover it flew through the air and landed on his desk. She was unsure what he was looking for and seeing him use something as basic and simple as a book surprised her. She had always thought Dumbledore would not need to result to a book for magic.

Suddenly Bellatrix moaned softly and rose up from her chair. Her eyes narrowed before finally meeting Dumbledore's gaze. She rolled up her sleeve and the Dark Mark could clearly be seen burning painfully on her pale flesh. Her dark eyes pierced into his. She could not stay here any longer. He could see her sadness and her anguish. "The Dark Lord is calling," she whispered and she stuck her hand in the pocket of her cloak to retrieve her wand. She left her tea on the desk. "I must leave."

With a simple nod Dumbledore gestured towards the window and Bellatrix turned to face him. "Enchantments can be lifted. Please return here when you can or when it is safe to do so," he simply stated and she nodded in understanding. Her tears had not quite dried. She held on to her wand and smiled weakly before she turned on the spot. Dumbledore's face was riddled with worries as Bellatrix Lestrange vanished into the night.

~()~

Two weeks passed quietly and almost unnoticed before she returned to the Hogwarts grounds. Every night he waited to see her appear but she did not come back. The rumours about the Dark Lord's rise and the trouble inside Hogwarts with Dolores Umbridge as well as the Ministry's continuous denial the Dark Lord had returned were constantly occupying his mind, but there was always the lingering thought of Bellatrix Lestrange and her desperate attempt to undo whatever the Dark Lord had in store.

It was one dark November night when Albus Dumbledore finally found Bellatrix Lestrange standing by the Lake. She looked small and timid and in her black cloak she blended in against the dark backdrop. It was raining once again but this time she has used her wand and protected herself from the thick, heavy drops. She turned around when he arrived, lowering the hood of her cloak and revealing her black curls to the silver moonlight. It gently illuminated her face, accenting the dark eyes and ruby lips.

"I am sorry I did not return sooner, Headmaster," she apologised and looked back at the lake. The water surface was still. She saw her own reflection. He could hear the sadness and disgust in her tone. She did not look back up to meet his eyes. "Many things have happened recently."

"So I have been informed. These disappearances are hard to ignore yet the Ministry does not mention anything. The proof of the Dark Lord's return is unmistakable," Dumbledore answered and looked at her from the side, a curious look in his blue eyes. "Voldemort knows the Ministry does not recognise his return, does he? He knows many in the wizard world do not believe he has returned."

"His plans are completed. He knows the Order guards the Prophecy," Bellatrix ignored Dumbledore's question. She sounded urgent, as if she was in a hurry. "He has asked me what I have been doing. Clearly my absence has not remained unnoticed. Someone must have talked."

Dumbledore would swear he heard her breathe '_Lucius'_ but did not ask her any further. He too had never been too fond of the Malfoy heir. A feeling he tried not to let cloud his mind when it came to his son. Bellatrix swallowed hard. "Harry needs to be careful."

"I have thought of a plan," Dumbledore said and put a hand on her shoulder. "Bellatrix, I cannot let you risk your own life like this. I cannot stand here and watch how every day you take these risks to help us. The Order is grateful but you must leave and you must leave soon." She turned at the tone of his voice. It was desperate yet persistent. Her dark eyes met his and she cocked her head.

"He will kill me before I have even tried."

"Listen to me, Bellatrix. Bring me a Death Eater, any Death Eater. One that is perhaps a little less smart than others but I am sure that ought to be possible." He looked at her and she shook her head in disbelief. "Meet me with him in Hogsmeade, two nights from now. Now, return to Malfoy Manor. You will be safe there for now. Do not return here until the day after tomorrow." She wanted to object but he shook his head and dismissed her objections. "Do not argue, Bellatrix. Go and leave now."

He walked away, leaving her alone by the lake. She sighed as she watched the Headmaster disappear into the night. Her heart felt heavy in her chest. She had never felt more alone in her life. The loneliness was terrible. Carefully a slim finger reached up and touched the scar on the side of her face where the curse had hit her. He had punished her for arriving later than any other Death Eater when he called for their gathering. He had humiliated her in front all of them and they had laughed; most of them in fear because they knew that any other day it could be them. She had dodged the first curse but the second one cut the side of her face. She had grabbed her own wand and shot a hex at him. Not until she had defended herself had he agreed she had been punished enough. He had left her standing helpless in the middle of the room still bleeding as he addressed all the other. He did no longer speak to her or look at her. She did not mind.

Bellatrix looked over her shoulder. In the distance she saw the features of the castle against the sky. Her heart broke in her chest. It was the only place where she had ever felt safe. Swallowing back her tears and clenching her wand she turned on the spot and Dissaparated. Not until she Apparated outside the Malfoy Manor did she realize Dumbledore must have lifted the protective magic of Hogwarts for her to Apparate and Disapparate. A warm glow fell over her as she firmly walked up to the front door and marched into the house.

~()~

"Goyle, come with me," she barked and the male Death Eater looked up. He was lazy and lay on one of her sister's expensive sofas in the Malfoy drawing room, his wand carelessly dangling between his fingers. She could tell he was torn between asking her what she wanted or simply agreeing. There was a sense of fear that surrounded Bellatrix. Most people simply did what she told them to do. Not being in the mood for discussions she simply lowered her hand to the pocked in her dress where she kept her wand and watched in amusement how he quickly leapt to his feet. She chuckled.

"Where are we going?" Goyle asked wearily as they walked out of the front door and now stood in the Manor gardens.

Her lips curled up into a devious smile. "The Dark Lord has granted me some _play__,_" she said with a low voice and chuckled in feigned amusement. She saw how Goyle's face lit up at the mention of play time. She knew he clearly expected blowing up houses, attacking defenceless Muggles and trashing a wizard or witch or two along the way. "I do not want to play alone and Narcissa is out. You'll do. We'll go to Hogsmeade. Draco sent my sister a letter saying they are allowed to visit this weekend. I'm sure we can find a Mudblood or two for our entertainment." She let out another manic chuckle.

Bellatrix and Goyle Apparated into the middle of Hogsmeade town square only seconds later. As she had expected it was deserted and she sensed Goyle's disappointment. Dumbledore had clearly warned the residents of the village something was going to happen and for them to stay indoors. Her dark eyes searched the darkness for a sign and just as she was about to say something several bright coloured flashes shot through the night and all hit Goyle. Bellatrix erected a powerful Shield Charm for herself and watched in amusement how Goyle slumped to the ground. She lowered her wand and her eyes scanned the square. Dumbledore appeared out of nowhere, a playful smile around his lips. When he reached Goyle he inspected him with great interest.

"I have not used a simple Body Bind curse for a long time. Seems young Mr Goyle takes after his father here when it comes to brains."

He flicked his wand and Goyle's body flew up into the air and Dumbledore directed the body to a deserted corner of the square, safely in the shadows and away from possible spying eyes. Bellatrix followed him closely, still wondering how and why Hogsmeade was so deserted. Dumbledore placed the Death Eater in a seated position against the wall and rumbled in the pockets of his robe, pulling out a potion phile. When he pulled the stopper out of it and the smell penetrated her nose Bellatrix immediately understood what he was about to do.

She took out her hand and aimed it at Goyle. Her hand was shaking but her voice was strong. "Obliviate!" There was a pause and she aimed her wand again. The tip illuminated when she cast the next spell. "Imperio!"

Dumbledore glanced at her and nodded approvingly. "The only time I will ever allow an Unforgiveable Curse to be cast in my presence. I see you are still as bright as I remember, Bella"

He held out his hand and she pulled a single black hair from her head and passed it to him. He carefully put it in the bottle and the process of the potion was complete. She wondered why she had not thought about this before. A memory modification charm, the Imperius Curse and Polyjuice Potion was all it would take. Though she knew that in general Polyjuice Potion would only last an hour, Albus Dumbledore was the type of wizard who could make changes to any potion known to wizard kind. And she knew that regardless of her dislike for him he also had the best Potions Master this world had ever seen amongst his staff.

Something so simple could be so effective and it would be enough to fool everybody, including the Dark Lord long enough for her to find a safe place to hide. She watched as Dumbledore knelt to the floor and as Goyle slowly reached consciousness Dumbledore made him drink the potion.

In amusement Bellatrix watched as Goyle's hair started to grow longer and curlier and became darker. For a second he looked like a rather strange female hybrid version of himself. Then his facial features began to change and his nose became thinner and his body turned from being muscular to the well-shaped, curved figure that was her own. After a minute or two she was faced with her own mirror image, dressed in clothes that were too big for her. It was a strange, looking at herself this way. With a simple flick of her wand she made a dress appear and nodded approvingly before glancing at Dumbledore. She smirked. "I do believe the original looks better though."

"We can keep this up for as long as we need to," Dumbledore said with a grin "I asked Professor Snape to make some modifications to the Potion and enhance its performance. In a moment, Bellatrix here will return to Malfoy Manor and inform the Dark Lord they encountered resistance at Hogsmeade and that Goyle is dead." He turned to face the real Bellatrix, who was still staring at her other self in amusement. He showed her another phile. Her dark eyes narrowed. "I have a choice for you. You can become a student. You can live in safety and no one will ever know."

Bellatrix managed to tear her eyes away from her mirror image, her amused smile now fading. She shook her head. "I am afraid I have to decline, Headmaster," she answered and saw how her answer did not surprise him "The things I have done do not make me deserve an easy life." She sighed as she watched how the other Bellatrix clumsily climbed to her feet. It seemed it took Goyle, or Bellatrix, a few seconds to get used to the new body as well as the high heels. Dumbledore pointed his wand and the fake Bellatrix turned on the spot. She was gone. Then Dumbledore turned to the real Bellatrix.

"I cannot force you to stay here and come with me, Bellatrix. But I hope you will consider this option and leave it open for the times to come. The world is dangerous out there for you after tonight," he said with a worried undertone in his voice and she nodded. She knew what the risks were after she would leave here tonight. She would be forced to live in hiding. She could not exist in the wizard world any longer. But she knew she was doing the right thing.

"I am aware of that, Headmaster. Very much so. But with my past I do not deserve another chance. I can only simply do my best to be the best I can be," Bellatrix answered and cocked her head, her lips carefully curling up into a tender smile "You are an extraordinary wizard, Professor Dumbledore. You have put trust in me, despite knowing what I am. Strangely you are not disgusted by me. I honour you for the trust you have put in me."

"There is always hope," Dumbledore said and took Bellatrix's hand into his own, folding her fingers. "If ever you need help or advice, return to the place where you feel safe. Hogwarts is always there for those who need it most."

She opened her hand she noticed the rolled up piece of parchment he had placed in it As she looked back up to ask him what it was for, he had disappeared.

Now Bellatrix was truly alone. She could not return to the Malfoy Manor, the place she had called home for some time, since the other Bellatrix had arrived by now and continued to live her life. She could not exist in the Wizard world, since her appearance feared many and would result in any form of curse or hex being cast at her. With a sigh that could easily be mistaken for relief Bellatrix looked back down at the parchment, unrolled it and read the little message inside. As she did so, she realized what Dumbledore had done and with a thankful smile, she turned on the spot and Dissaparated into the November night.

* * *

_"To be a star, you must shine your own light,_  
_follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness,_  
_for that is when the stars shine brightest"_  
_(unknown)_


	6. The Light Of A Stranger

_It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness._  
_(Eleanor Roosevelt)_

* * *

So many months had passed so quickly. Events had unfolded in such a terrifying manner and not even she could have predicted it would end this way. This time it was different from the first Wizarding War. This time it was worse. The losses had been even more severe. Another day followed the one before, filled with more terrifying thoughts. Every day the world was filled with anguish, terror and pain. The war had begun. Shadows filled the sky as mist covered the streets in a dreadful sense of terror.

She found herself weeping on the floor uncontrollably the night as the news got through to her. Beside her lay the shattered pieces of the plate she had been carrying when a whisper reached her. A voice carried by the wind. She did not know where it had come from or how it found her. But it found her; like it had been carried on by the wind on its final journey. The night she had feared for so many months had come and inside her the final flame of hope had died.

Dumbledore wad dead. Severus Snape had murdered him. Anger replaced her sadness rapidly as she thought about him. The fact he had saved Draco Malfoy from committing the ultimate crime did not matter. He had murdered a helpless man. Never had she found it in her heart to warm to Severus Snape, from the day she first met him. Never had she been able to forgive him for what he had done. He had been the one to inform Voldemort of the Prophecy that had been made about him and Harry. Had he not gone to tell Voldemort, none of this would have happened. Harry would not have been in danger and Dumbledore... Dumbledore might still have been alive. After tonight, it appeared that with Dumbledore also all hope had died. With Dumbledore gone, Voldemort was free to rise to his magnificent power and judging from the terrible burning pain on her left arm, he was definitely doing so.

Bellatrix sat up, looking at the shattered pieces of porcelain lying around her small living room. She had been living in this house for all these months. The piece of parchment Dumbledore had given her that night in Hogsmeade had the address written on it. He was Secret keeper. No one would be able to find it unless he told them. And after tonight, no one would ever know. He had died, still guarding her safety. He had saved her. She brushed the tears that rolled down her cheeks away and pointed her wand at the broken plate whispering "Reparo". The plate reformed.

She pushed herself back on her feet, brushing her hands on her skirt. She waved her wand and the plate flew back into her hands. She pointed her wand at the food mess on the floor. "Evanesco" she muttered and the mess disappeared. Something had frozen inside her. She walked into the small kitchen that was attached to her living room. She had been living here, a life that was a mix between being a witch and somewhat of a Muggle. She did not go out much and her house could not been seen by Muggles. Yet, she was no part of the wizard world either. She was trapped, a prisoner in her own life. And now that Dumbledore was gone, something inside her changed. She put the plate away and ran to the front door.

The evening air was cold and took her breath away as she stepped outside. Something was hanging in the air but she could not quite understand what it was. As she ran, her feet barely touching the road, she heard the soft cries in the distance. The wizard world mourned the death of Albus Dumbledore.

She ran her way through the small village where she lived until she reached the old church and the graveyard next to it. She was panting heavily, her lungs about to burst behind her ribcage. The gate shrieked as she opened it. It was dark. Clouds had packed over her head. There was no room for light anymore. In desperation she reached for her wand and the tip lit up as she whispered a soft "Lumos". With the tip of her wand as her guide she made her way over the pitch-black graveyard until she reached the furthest, darkest corner. "Nox". The light went out and she knelt down on the grass. Her wand carefully in her hand she reached out. A soft spell rolled over her lips and silver white lilies appeared on the sand before her. They were fragile and yet powerful and they held a beauty and strength people did not often see. They reminded her of Dumbledore. As silent tears streamed down her face Bellatrix raised her wands and send the lilies into the sky, onto their final journey. As they made their way up into the sky they broke through the darkest clouds but then they disappeared.

Bellatrix carefully rose to her feet. Her body felt heavy, bruised and battered though she had not engaged in battle. She started her way home, never looking up. The door slammed shut behind her and she stood in her empty living room. It felt so much emptier than it had done before. Her eyes wandered around the house she had called home for so long. She knew she could not stay here. Everything had changed tonight. And the promise she had made so many months ago she could no longer keep.

~()~

Night after night she wandered the streets of the quiet village, often ending up on the same graveyard she had visited the night Dumbledore had died. It was quiet and dark and no one else ever bothered coming there, not even during the day but especially not during the night. The weeks had gone by. Everything had changed. She knew the Dark Lord was ruling both worlds. His marks were everywhere. Twice already had she seen it in the sky, with terrified Muggles pointing at it. Aurors would come to modify their memory but she knew the battle was lost. There were too many Death Eaters and too many dark forces around for the Aurors to ever overcome. The grief she felt the night Dumbledore died had not subsided and the feeling of helplessness had only grown. Trapped and lost in between two worlds.

She sat on her knees in the sand; her wand lay in her lap. On the sand before her danced several blue little flames in a manic dance before they eventually died and disappeared. She sighed, pulling her cloak a little tighter around her. Tonight was colder than any other night. The wind pulled her hair and numbed her hands.

"I know who you are."

The voice startled her and she jumped to her feet. She spun around to see who was standing behind her. She held her wand at the ready. The voice belonged to a woman, a girl maybe even. As she looked up she found a young woman with bushy, light brown hair and inquisitive hazel brown eyes standing behind her. She had her wand ready but now lowered it at the sight of the cloaked woman. Bellatrix found herself faced with the appearance of Hermione Granger, Harry Potter's best friend.

"You are mistaken," she whispered, averting her eyes though realizing it was too late. Hermione _did _know who she was.

"Bellatrix Lestrange," She shivered as she heard someone other than herself speak her name. She had not heard her own name spoken by anyone else for so long. "Cousin of Sirius Black and sister of Narcissa Malfoy and Andromeda Tonks," Hermione stated with a soft voice, trying to catch the older witch's eye. She took a hesitant step in her direction. "Please, do not look away. I know it's you."

Bellatrix slowly lifted up her head before her hands reached the end of her cloak and pulled her hood down. Her raven black curls were now exposed to the dark night and her porcelain skin was lit up by the pale moonlight. She looked at Hermione. The young brunette seemed unfazed by her appearance. "How did you know?"

"It does not matter. What matters is that I know what you have done," Hermione answered, her face softened as she spoke and looked at the older witch.

Bellatrix shook her head. She was surprised she felt the comfort to expose her features to the world without hiding under her cloak. "You must leave, Miss Granger. You have put yourself in grave danger by coming here tonight. Leave now and forget you ever saw me. Stay safe, for your and your friend's sake," Bella's voice was desperate and she pierced her eyes into Hermione's. "Leave now!"

"I cannot leave. I need to know. I need to understand," Hermione shook her head and stepped even closer to the black haired witch in front of her. "You have done things no one can even begin to comprehend, Bellatrix. I need to try."

Bellatrix cocked her head and looked at the younger witch in a mixture of amusement, confusion and shock. She recognised the eagerness to understand and felt warmed to know the girl had risked so much by coming here. Yet, if the girl had been able to figure out what had been going on, surely someone else could do the same. She fought her inner battle as Hermione looked at her. Bellatrix saw she was not dressed in school robes but in simple black trousers and a pink jumper. Only her cloak gave away she was a student at Hogwarts, the shiny Gryffindor symbol on her chest.

"Come with me," Bellatrix whispered barely audible and she started walking. Hermione followed closely, pulling the hood of her cloak up as she saw Bellatrix do the same. Her hand slipped in her pocket, never letting go of her wand. She didn't know how good she would be if anyone would see them now but somehow it felt safe just to hold on. She followed the older witch over the graveyard and then through the village before eventually reaching a small cottage at the end of the road. They stepped inside, Bellatrix enchanted the door before it locked and then walked into the living room.

Curiously, Hermione followed. She was not sure what was expecting but this was not it. Bellatrix's living room was tenderly lit by the fire in the fireplace she had just started and with a simple wave of her wand, several candles started burning. The room was small but neat and orderly, with a black leather sofa and two arm chairs. Nothing here gave away a witch was living here. That was, until Bellatrix waved her wand one more time and the whole room changed. Shelves of books, a cauldron and even the cage for an owl appeared out of nowhere. Hermione watched in surprise as the room suddenly looked a lot like, well, any other Wizarding house she had ever been too.

"Pumpkin juice or Butterbeer?" Bellatrix asked softly as she aimed her wand at the kitchen. As Hermione answered 'Butterbeer' four bottles came flying into the room and landed silently on the small wooden table in the middle. Bellatrix gestured at the sofa and Hermione, her heart pounding in her chest, sat herself down.

She looked up to Bellatrix Lestrange, who name still made so many shiver in fear. She was faced with a witch who in her lifetime had done the most horrible things, committed the ultimate crimes for her Dark Lord, and yet she stood here before her looking fragile and insecure. Her long black curls fell down her shoulders and back, her skin was pale and her eyes still as heavy lidded as before. But they had regained something. A fire of life.

"I suppose you will want to know how I found you, Ms Lestrange," Hermione said as she picked up a Butter beer and looked at the black haired witch who was now pacing around the room "Or how I knew who you were"

"You can't have known. He cannot have told you," Bellatrix whispered, though Hermione was not sure whether Bellatrix spoke to her or to the empty room. Then the dark witch suddenly looked up and her eyes found Hermione's. "You must tell me. If you can find me, so can Voldemort."

Hermione put down her Butter beer. "I am not sure how I can explain. That night as the Ministry, and also later every other time we encountered Death Eaters, you were there. I cannot explain why I suddenly thought it wasn't you. Whether it was the spells or the appearance or simply something I cannot understand. But after the Ministry fight I was convinced something was going on," she answered, looking at Bellatrix directly. "It took me almost a whole year to find out. I even went to Dumbledore. To ask him if he possibly thought I was right. He never answered."

"Dumbledore knew of course," Bellatrix answered, now slowly walking over to the sofa where Hermione sat "He got worried when you asked questions. I remember him arriving here one night, telling me to keep my guard up. I thought the Dark Lord had found out about me. He must have meant you. I always knew you were a smart little witch, Miss Granger." She chuckled but it was nothing like the dark, evil chuckles she used to produce. This was a true giggle.

Hermione blushed at the compliment then she frowned. "How do you know?"

"I-I spent a lot of time at Hogwarts without anyone knowing. That is, before Dumbledore found me" Bellatrix answered, her eyes drifting around the room as she remembered that first encounter. A sense of sadness and admiration fell over her as she remembered the Headmaster's blue eyes and she fought hard to push her tears away, hidden far beneath the surface.

"What made you change?" Hermione suddenly just spat the question out and Bellatrix knew she had been dying to ask this question from the moment they met. She had been expecting it.

"Azkaban can change one's mind, soul and heart but it did not change mine," Bellatrix answered as she rose to her feet and paced around the room once again, though this time not as frantic. Her heart had settled down in her chest and she felt more at ease. "When I escaped I returned to the Dark Lord at once. By his side was where I belonged, or so I thought. My sister looked after me, as I regained my strength and learned about the Dark Lord's intentions. It was my sister who showed me a picture of your friend, Harry Potter."

"Voldemort wants his head on a platter," Hermione agreed and picked up her Butter beer "But surely seeing Harry must have made you feel enraged, knowing it was him who had stopped him before?"

Bellatrix looked up and Hermione saw sadness in her eyes. "Not until my sister showed me a picture. I did feel enraged. Not because of Harry but because of the Dark Lord. He had left this boy without his parents, out of his own fear, and murdered two helpless people who thought they were safe." She swallowed. "He murdered poor Lily as she tried to save her boy."

"Lily? You knew Harry's mother?" Hermione asked curiously. She had never before realized that Bellatrix and Harry's mother would have been around the same age by now. Surely they must have gone to Hogwarts together. She looked at Bellatrix but the other witch refused to make eye contact.

"Oh yes, I knew her," Bellatrix answered softly, turning her face away from Hermione as she treasured her beloved memories of Lily Evans. "She was always nice to me. Said hello whenever we met. And when she heard of my engagement she was the only one who seemed to understand it was arranged. Even my own sisters did not seem to understand. I didn't know it was her who the Dark Lord killed that night, her and her husband. I didn't know he was her son until Narcissa told me."

"And it stopped you." Hermione stood up, carefully walking over to Bellatrix. The situation still seemed strange. She stood here beside a Death Eater that was wanted by so many but who, for the past year, had lived a life in silence and secret. She reached out a hand and placed it on Bellatrix's left arm, knowing it was where her Dark Mark was. "You helped to protect Harry?"

"Whenever I could," Bellatrix answered softly, her voice filled with tears "I returned to Hogwarts. I didn't know what else to do. I watched Harry; I watched the three of you. I didn't know what good I could do. Eventually Dumbledore suggested I had to leave, if this was the way I truly felt. I said I couldn't. Voldemort would have killed me. It was his idea to use the Polyjuice Potion and to modify that Death Eater's mind. I have done the best I can ever since. I tried to stay hidden but yet heard, and felt, whenever the Dark Lord wanted something. I would tell Dumbledore at once. And then..." She hesitated as she reached the night Dumbledore died. "Snape..."

"I know," Hermione answered as she clenched her teeth together and tears welled up in her eyes at the memory of her Headmaster being killed. "He's run off, you know. That night he ran right back to the Dark Lord. Merlin only knows what is going to happen next. Voldemort has regained his strength and the Order can't do much more. How did you learn he was dead?"

"A whisper," Bellatrix said and suddenly turned to face Hermione, her eyes narrowing. The voice she had heard suddenly echoed again in her head and the pieces began to fall together. "That was you?"

Hermione nodded, blushing heavily. "I suspected he had been helping you. It was a difficult piece of magic but I managed to hide my Patronus completely and just let my voice be carried on by the wind. I had ordered it not to stop until it found you, whispering to every witch or wizard he would find along the way that Albus Dumbledore was dead. They had to know. My wand did not stop glowing all this time. When it eventually did, I knew it had found you," she whispered and her eyes met Bellatrix's. "If he had indeed been helping you, like I thought, you more than anyone deserved to know. You sacrificed a lot to help us."

"Dumbledore sacrificed himself. That is more than I have ever done," Bellatrix just stared at Hermione, impressed by the skilled magic this young witch had been producing. "I guess you must have tracked the paths of your Patronus to find me?"

"I conjured my Patronus and told it to go back to its last known place. It turned up right outside your door, Ms Lestrange. I Apparated at its position," Hermione whispered, averting her eyes.

"You are an extraordinary clever young witch, Miss Granger," Bellatrix whispered in admiration, now kneeling down in front the girl, lifting up her chin to meet her eyes. "You must have no idea yet of the powerful magic you possess. You can become a great, talented witch." She paused after praising Hermione, seeing the confusion in the younger witch's eyes. "You took a risk by sending that whisper to find me. The Patronus could easily have been directed back at you with whoever was following."

"If I was right in thinking about the sacrifice you had made, it was worth the risk," Hermione stared at the older woman kneeling before her, puzzled by the emotions she felt running through her body now that Bellatrix touched her and looked at her this way. She carefully smiled. "And please call me Hermione."

"Hermione," Bellatrix tried the name and her lips slowly, carefully turned up into a smile too. "All right, and I wish for you to call me Bella. So, how are things at Hogwarts?"

"It will be different when we return though I expect many will not return at all. Harry has been so quiet. He doesn't want to talk to anyone, just spends hours and hours staring into space," Hermione suddenly spoke, her voice snapping under her sadness and worry as she spoke about her friends. "Ron seems to have lost all touch with reality and looks like a ghost. Professor McGonagall tries to do her best but I don't know what else to do. Harry keeps saying he's not going back to Hogwarts next year," she sobbed. Tears ran down her face, obscuring her vision and the living room changed into a blur.

Clumsily Bellatrix patted her on the back, unsure of how to respond in a situation like this. Emotions were still new to her. She had closed off her soul and her heart from any emotion for so long she was still exploring her own feelings. She climbed back on the sofa, sitting down next to Hermione and wrapped a protective arm around the crying witch's shoulders. Hermione let herself fall against Bellatrix's chest, almost throwing herself into the older witch's arms, her body panting under her heavy sobbing. Bellatrix ran her fingers through the light brown curls, wondering to herself how long the younger witch had locked her emotions away, for no one to be seen.

"There, ssssh," she whispered with a voice she did not recognise. It was warm, caring and gentle. She still stroked Hermione's hair. Underneath her fingers the little witch stirred, her sobbing became less frantic. As she lifted up her head her thick, red puffy eyes met Bellatrix's and she tried to smile.

"What's going to happen now?" she whispered, her eyes filled with fear. "Dumbledore was the only one Voldemort was afraid off, who held him back. What is going to happen now that he's gone?"

Bellatrix fingered one of Hermione's curls around her finger, enjoying the closeness and the warmth this girl gave her. It made a sensation deep inside the pit of her stomach roar. A feeling she had not had for so long.

"I..." she muttered, trying to find words to tell this girl both the truth and take her fear away. She sighed. "I don't know, Hermione. I really don't know."

~()~

They talked as the minutes faded into hours. The sky became darker outside and the stars finally found their way through the thick grey clouds. It was quiet outside. Inside burned the fire in fire place and Bellatrix watched the dancing flames in their passionate ritual as Hermione spoke. Hermione told her all about her parents, who were Muggles and how they had been shocked and surprised when at age 11 she had received her letter for Hogwarts. Never had they expected their daughter to be a witch but they had been understanding and thought the wizard world was something they did not quite comprehend, they always tried. Even they noticed something had changed, asking direct questions about what was going on. No one could deny war was hanging in the air.

As time went on, Bellatrix watched how Hermione became more passionate about her stories, using her hand to add power her words, making broad gestures. Her eyes lit up when she mentioned her friends and the adventures they had lived through. She learned things about Harry Potter she had never known. While she talked, the smile never left her face.

Hermione was pretty, Bellatrix observed. Not the kind of stunning beautiful but the kind of beauty that would only show if you looked a little further. The somewhat bushy, light brown hair cupped the sides of her face and inquisitive hazel eyes fixed on Bellatrix's face every so often. She had started to show all the signs of late adulthood, the curves of her hips showed in her jeans and the tender bumps of her breasts were clearly visible underneath her pink jumper. Bellatrix had to force herself not to stare. Hermione's skin was soft and healthy Bellatrix noticed as Hermione brushed back some of her hair, exposing the tender soft flesh of her neck.

The sun started to climb over the horizon, casting tender orange beams of early morning sunlight through the sky. The darkness of the night evaporated, yet the grey strings of mist still covered the streets.

Hermione's eyes wandered off to the window and she rose to her feet, gasping for air when she realized the sun had come up. She glanced down at Bellatrix, who was comfortably leaning back on the sofa, her hands buried in her raven black curls. The dark eyed witch looked up to Hermione now hovering over her, a position she could get used to.

"I have to go," Hermione said as she threw another glance at the sun rising steadily outside. "I cannot be found missing."

Her eyes told Bellatrix something else. She looked almost desperately at the older witch on the sofa. During this night she had seen the true beauty in Bellatrix. The playful curls, the porcelain skin with the beautiful red lips and the intense charcoal eyes. The slim fingers, long nails and frail looking hands. A smile that had at first been insecure and unsteady had grown in intensity overnight and was now casting a beam of light across the room.

"Then leave," Bellatrix urged as she stood up. She quickly walked over to Hermione and took her hands into her own. She looked intensely into the younger witch's eyes. The mere thought of Hermione being hurt made her heart scream in agony. "Please, be careful Hermione. Stay safe." She stepped back and watched how Hermione turned on the spot and Dissaparated. There was the familiar 'crack' but then, there was nothing but the deafening silence of her empty house.

Bellatrix staggered back to the sofa, falling down. It was as if her legs could no longer support the weight of her body. She covered her face with her hands as the silence fell over her. She still felt Hermione's lively presence in the room but she knew she was alone. It was at this moment her thoughts dragged her back into some of her darkest memories.

Voldemort had been the only person in her life who had ever given her a sense of self fulfilment, the possibility of being someone and doing something. She had loved him madly, manically and deeply. Yet her love had been misplaced for he never loved her, much like her father. He too had never loved her. And yet she still craved their approval, their love, more than anything. It was the seeking of this approval that had now left her scorned and with blood forever on her hands. The times the Dark Lord would look at her, with his snake like red eyes and that empty stare, and humiliate her. It was the pain that made her feel alive. It was always the pain.

Bellatrix slowly lifted up her head from her hands, her eyes gliding around the room. Hermione's presence had faded but so had the pain.

* * *

"_Truly, it is in darkness that one finds the light,__  
so when we are in sorrow,__  
then this light is nearest of all to us"__  
(Meister Eckhart)_


	7. The Heart Of A Fool

_Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent.__  
It takes a touch of genius-and a lot of courage-to move in the opposite direction.__  
(Albert Einstein)_

* * *

The house felt so terribly empty. A soft, purring noise came from under the table where the cat she had found on the side of the road a week earlier lay peacefully asleep. The owl rasped angrily in her cage in the corner and with a soft moan she stumbled over to it, releasing the door when she reached it. The owl eagerly jumped onto her arm and she walked to the nearest window. With one final thankful rasp it flew off into the black night time sky.

She turned around. Her mind fooled once more in believing someone was here. She was wrong. She was here alone. Like every night. The loneliness was a terrible companion, fooling her mind into believing she was not alone. A sigh escaped from her throat as she sat down on the sofa and took her wand out of the pocket of her dress. She aimed it at the fireplace and seconds later bright flames were dancing around, casting mysterious shadows on the living room walls.

She rolled the wand between her fingers, absentmindedly staring into the flames. Then her eyes slowly looked down to the thing in her hands. The things this wand had done were indescribable. It had tortured, produced the most horrifying screams. It had drawn blood and casted all sorts of terrible, Unforgivable Curses. She clenched her fingers tightly around it, the wand producing bright sparks as she did so, as she thought about the lives it had taken.  
Her wand was a piece of beautiful art. It had been made for her so many years ago and, even though the horrors she had committed, it had never failed her. It was made out of walnut and heartstring and 12 ¾ inches long. She sighed at the thoughts of the terrible things she had done with this wand, and then desperately attempted to close her mind from her victim's faces invading her.

Bellatrix put her wand down. She was so desperate to talk to anyone, to not feel as abandoned as she did tonight. The Dark Mark had appeared over house only minutes down the road. They were not even wizards. The people occupying that house were simply Muggles. People's terrified screams had filled the night with terror. Aurors had Apparated only feet away from her front door. She had watched through her curtains as they tried to modify Muggle minds. Out of nowhere the curses had been cast. One Auror fell to the floor as the green flash hit him straight in the chest. The Killing Curse had been merciless once more. She had clenched her wand tightly, causing it to burn a hole in her dress. She recognised the Death Eaters in their cloaks and was both shocked and surprised to see the Dark Lord had sent Lucius Malfoy as their leader. She did not expect Lucius to have been sent for any task, since everything he seemed to lay his hands on was doomed to be a failure.

Now, the night was quiet. The Dark Made had disappeared; the dead Auror had been taken back by the others after a fierce battle had broken out that lasted half an hour. Two Death Eaters were stunned and the others Dissaparated with them, back to wherever the Dark Lord had summoned them. Lucius had been one of the two Death Eaters stunned and the sight of him falling to the ground had brought a devious smirk to her face.

It had been the closest she had been to magic all this time. It made her long for Hermione. She was desperate for the young witch to come back. Every night she waited, walking over the graveyard like she had done the night she first met her. Yet, Hermione never returned.

Summer faded into fall, with the strings of grey mist and the sensation of darkness lurking around every corner growing with every passing day. She had overheard people talk about strange events that had been occurring, in the rare moments she would leave her house. There were dangerous whispers, never ending senses of fear.

She stood in her tiny kitchen, using her wand to produce something that was supposed to turn out as her breakfast when loud thud made her jump three feet into the air before realizing an owl had crashed into her back window. She hurried through the living room to open the back door. The dead tired owl lay flat on its face and she carefully knelt to the floor to pick it up. It gave a sad rasp before its eyes closed. She hurried it back inside and lay the owl carefully on her sofa. She could not see any injuries and she summoned a bowl of water with her wand. The owl gratefully drank the cool liquid and seemed to regain some of its strength. It held out one of its shaking paws and only then did Bellatrix realize the poor animal was carrying a letter. She took it of the owls paw and then left it to recover.

The piece of parchment would have been easy to miss if you didn't know it had been attached to the owl. When she unrolled it, she found it empty. A frown appeared on her face before she suddenly realized what was going on. She took her wand, tapped the parchment and whispered "Aparecium". The words written on the parchment reappeared. The handwriting was neat and tidy. The message was, however, terrifying.

_"The Ministry has fallen. Not returning to H__ogwarts. Travelling with Harry and Ron__ to finish the job__ Dumbledore started__. Hoping you are all right__._"

It had not been signed but Bellatrix knew the message had come from Hermione. Tears welled up in her eyes. Once again the young witch had taken a risk by sending the message to her. She clenched the parchment in her hand, glanced at the owl that had delivered it and wondered how far it had travelled to find her. Then her eyes wandered to the window, gazing at the grey world outside. Danger and darkness were approaching fast. Her Dark Mark burned once more on her arm. Desperation fell over her as the strings of thick grey mist drifted past her window. He was out there. The Dark Lord had gained his ultimate goal.

Bellatrix ran upstairs, trashing her bedroom as she searched for the things she thought she needed. Her wand lay on the bed, together with her cloak and a simple black bag. She gathered some potion phials and other things before throwing it all in the bag. So many things fitted in there, it was like a magical bottomless pit. Once she was finished her eyes wandered around the bedroom. It was neat and tidy, much to her approval. She fought back the tears, feeling sure about what she was about to do. If there was anything she could do, this was the only thing. And now, was the only time.

She walked back down the stairs and with a simple flick of her wand she cleared every sign of human live away. Every single sign of someone ever living here faded. Books disappeared into magical thin air, the cage in which her own owl had been asleep earlier faded with it. Nerys would be smart enough to know her owner had left and return to the next place she had always called home.  
The kitchen cleared up by itself and finally, the flames in the fireplace died – covering the house in a silent darkness.

She picked up the tired owl that still lay on her sofa, carefully cradling it in her arms as she left the house. The evening air was cold and nearly took her breath away. Her cat curiously followed her and she looked at it, as the feline creature looked up to her with big green eyes. "You'll be all right, Pip. The neighbours will take care of you" she whispered and it was as if the cat had understood because it walked to the nearest house and rolled itself up by the front door. In the morning, someone would find it and feed it. The owl rasped weakly in her arms but she knew it was ready to fly. "Return to Hogwarts..." she whispered and with one final rasp and a soft nibble to her finger the owl flew away into the night.

Bellatrix glanced over her shoulder, at the house that had been her home for more than a year. She had never known where she was. The village name had never been told to her. Never had she cared to find out. The house she lived in now lay dark and abandoned against the night sky. She swallowed, occluding her mind before reaching for her wand in her cloak. She did not take it out but closed her fingers around it nevertheless. She made her way quickly down the road, up to the church and the graveyard she had visited to frequently. The gate did not shriek this time as she opened and closed it. She walked quickly between the rows of headstones, the fallen leaves snapped weakly underneath her feet. Never before had she read any of their names but tonight, for some unexplainable reason, she did.

She froze as her eyes fell upon the white marble headstone to her right. Inside her, something broke as she slowly fell to her knees and reached out a shaking hand. The marble felt cold under her touch, the white colour appeared to be glowing in the dark night. Cold tears ran silently down her face as from the sky heavy raindrops began to fall. Suddenly she realised why she had always been attracted to this graveyard. Why she came here for safety and comfort. She had been living in Godric Hollow for all this time. The writing on the marble headstone was clear.

_James Potter, born 27 March 1960__  
Died 31 October 1981__  
Lily Potter, born 30 January 1960__  
died 31 October 1981__  
The Last Enemy That Shall Be Destroyed Is Death__  
_  
Bellatrix took back her shaking hand. The marble had been so cold to touch. She sobbed, trying to brush her tears away. She needed to be strong, now even more than ever before. Inside her the energy, the determination, grew as she once again read the writing on the headstone. She sat on her knees by their grave, as she made the only promise in her life she knew she would be able to keep. Her voice was a soft whisper and almost immediately taken away by the wind.

"I know I have done wrong. But I will change it. I will protect Harry whatever it takes."

From her wand she produced the same white lilies she had conjured for Dumbledore months before. But instead of sending the lilies into the sky she carefully left them by the headstone before rising back to her feet. She did not look back as she made her way to the darkest corner of the graveyard. Her tears had dried when she arrived. She took her wand, attempted once more to occlude her mind and then turned into the spot, disappearing into the rainy night.

~()~

Bellatrix Apparated into the middle of a large field. It was still pitch dark and the moon went hidden behind a thick layer of clouds. She wrapped her cloak a little tighter around her body as her eyes adapted to their new surroundings. A strange feeling washed over her. She had Apparated into a field that belonged to a farm. She could just make the building out in the distance. She listened for voices but there was nothing but silence around her. Yet she knew she was not alone. Her skills as a witch told her the field she was standing in had known magic. It still knew magic. She glanced around. It definitely appeared abandoned but since she had used magic to take her to Hermione Granger, she knew the young witch had to be here somewhere. A branch snapped behind her, only a few meters away and she spun around.

"Lumos," she whispered, her wand now glowing in the darkness. She narrowed her eyes, convinced she just saw a shadow walk between the trees. She started walking down the hill, up to the trees where she had heard the branch and seen the shadow. The light on her wand was her only guide. Once she reached the trees she was not surprised to find nothing.

"Nox."

The tip of her wand stopped glowing and she settled herself between the trees, casting several spells around her to protect herself against the increasing cold. Her eyes never stopped looking out for any sign of magic; any sign that would tell her Hermione was near. She waved her wand, carelessly whispering "Incendio". Seconds later a small but magically contained fire was glooming and she sat herself down onto the floor after producing a blanket.

Her eyes felt heavy and in the end she had no choice but to lay herself down under the dark sky. The fire just gave her enough warmth to feel comfortable throughout the night and her eyes eventually closed, sending her into a light, dreamless sleep.

Bellatrix woke before the sun had risen the next morning and she sat up. The fire she had started the night before had gone out, leaving nothing but little clouds of smoke. She pointed her wand at herself, muttered several spells that did the same trick as having an actual shower, before standing up. She immediately looked back at the place where she thought Hermione, Harry and Ron were staying. Nothing had changed since last night. She rose to her feet, whispered "Finite Incantatem" and all the effects of the spells she used the night before evaporated. Just as she had done so she caught a glimpse of brown bushing hair, only a few metres away from the trees. Seconds later, Hermione appeared briefly before disappearing once again. Bellatrix smiled.

"So I have found you. Now it's important I don't lose you," she whispered to herself.

Hermione had to have used "Finite Incantatem" because suddenly the three Hogwarts students were visible to Bellatrix. Harry, who was dressed in jeans and jumper and Ron, also in jeans and jumper, had gathered together their final things. Hermione was walking around with her wand out and aiming at things Bellatrix couldn't see.

"Breakfast is on you," she heard the young witch say and with what looked like a mocking face, Harry and Ron made their way to the nearby creek. Bellatrix watched them walk past. They looked healthy enough, though somewhat shaken up. Harry had deep rings under his eyes. Ron looked exhausted. When she was sure the boys were out of hearing range she carefully made her way down to where Hermione was now walking around the tent they had been staying in.

"Hermione."

She turned when someone called her name, someone that wasn't Ron or Harry. At the sight of Bellatrix appearing from out of the woods she nearly dropped her wand. Her mouth fell open, her eyes widened in shock and without warning she ran towards the older witch and flung her arms around her neck. Bellatrix gasped as she felt Hermione so close to her and the unexpected greeting was somewhat of a shock. When the younger witch let go of her she looked at her.

"What are you doing here?" Hermione sounded shocked and scared, her voice trembled with fear. Her eyes scanned the field. They were alone. "If someone sees you..." She looked at Bellatrix from head to toe. She was wearing one of her black velvet dressed and her black cloak. She curls fell almost playfully down her face. Her face wasn't as pale as Hermione remembered. Bellatrix's cheeks were covered in a slight pink blush.

"They will run in fear or try to kill me. Most likely the former and not the latter," Bellatrix answered comically and inspected Hermione's face. The lack of sleep was clearly visible. "Listen, I_ had_ to find you. So far, the Dark Lord has not noticed the change that has been put in place. As far as the Death Eaters are concerned nothing is wrong. I just shouldn't run into the other me, I suppose."

"Bella," Hermione shook her head in disbelief, which was quickly changed for a sense of fear. If Bellatrix had been able to find her, everybody would be able to as well. She nervously played with her wand. "How did you find me? There is no Track on any of us anymore, is there?"

"Magic," Bellatrix spoke, her lips curling up into a smile as she reached out and touched Hermione's hair like she had done the night she sat in her living room "Magic has many mysterious ways. Though I doubt anyone else would be able to find you unless they really knew what they were looking for." She paused; worry reflected in her eyes. "How long have you been on the run?"

"Several weeks," Hermione muttered softly as she remembered the events that led up to this moment and she averted her eyes but felt herself glowing warm under the gentle touch of Bellatrix's hand "We were at the Weasley's. It is a safe house for the Order. So many terrible things have happened. We went to fetch Harry weeks ago. And the Death Eaters and Voldemort, they knew we were moving him. Some of us didn't make it to our expected places on time. And then, during the wedding the message came the Ministry had fallen. We Dissaparated and have not been back since. We have no idea if our families are allright, or what else has happened." She paused. "That was weeks ago."

"When did you write to me?" Bellatrix wanted to know. She watched as Hermione sat down in the grass beside the tent and she did the same, sitting as close to the younger witch as appropriate. She felt the strong urge to protect her, to hold her. "I received your little note only yesterday."

Hermione's eyes met Bellatrix's and she swallowed. Her voice was weak. "Last week. I had no idea how long it would take for the owl to find you." Suddenly she leant in and let her head rest against Bellatrix's shoulder. She felt a sense of safety she had longed for, the safety she needed so badly. Being with Harry and Ron was intense and dangerous and it had triggered all her senses and she was hyper alert but what she wanted was to be held and to feel safe, even if just for a little while. She looked up to meet Bellatrix's eyes once again. "I hoped you were allright."

Bellatrix nodded softly, feeling touched by the younger witch's worries about her. "I am, Hermione. Do not worry about me. Worry about your own safety and that of your friends. The world is a dangerous place now that The Dark Lord holds the Ministry. Whatever job it is you are doing, you need all the safety you can get. Try to let me know where you are and I will always try to be there."

"You cannot stay! You mustn't! You can't!" Hermione protested but eased when she felt Bellatrix stroke her arm. It was a calming feeling "If the Snatchers find you or if they... Oh..."

She closed her eyes in desperation as the situation suddenly became too much. All the reasoning she had done since the beginning suddenly faded. She just rested her head on Bellatrix's shoulder as the former Death Eater carefully stroked her hair and ran her fingers down Hermione's arm.

Bellatrix caressed Hermione's arm. Feeling the closeness of another person made her feel human. Hermione was a beautiful, strong willed and skilled witch. Still she could not believe that this young woman had come to find her, believed her and stood there as she spoke. She carefully leant in, placing a soft kiss on Hermione's hair. As the other witch looked up their eyes met and Bellatrix nervously smiled. Hermione returned the smile.

"Hermione?" it was Ron's voice, echoing over the field.

Bellatrix jumped to her feet at the sound of Ron's voice and glanced at Hermione. "Remember what I said." She turned on the spot without saying another word and Dissaparated, leaving Hermione confused and alone. For a little while she stared at the spot where Bellatrix had been, half and half expecting her to come back, but she never did.

Eventually Hermione climbed to her feet and looked around. Bellatrix really had disappeared. A deep sigh escaped from her throat and then she looked over the field to find Ron and Harry running her way, both holding what appeared to be a gigantic fish each. She smiled a forced smile. At least this morning's breakfast would be filling and it would be enough to shut up Ron for the rest of the day.

As she started a fire and roasted the fish, her eyes were constantly wandering across the field in desperation to catch another glance of the older witch. Not being able to tell Harry and Ron what had been on her mind for so long left her lying awake at night. She had offered to take watch many nights to simply be alone with her thoughts. She could not erase the image of Bellatrix Lestrange lying on her sofa the night they met, right before she had Dissaparated and left her, with her hands buried in her raven black curls and a smile playing around her lips. Something about the black haired witch had touched her and Hermione couldn't understand what it was.

She had thought about telling Harry about Bellatrix but she knew what he was like. He would probably shout and rant at her for being a fool to believe a darkened Death Eater. She too had thought that, after she had left Bellatrix that night, but she just couldn't believe she was wrong. She doubted Harry would ever forgive her for going to see the woman who tormented the parents of their friend Neville, who was once Lord Voldemort most loyal servant and who had committed more horrible crimes on her own than half the prisoners of Azkaban had together.

"Hermione?" Harry asked and she returned to reality, looking at her friend and smiled. "Are you all right?"

She nodded but looked away from Harry, her eyes resting upon the woods not far away. She saw the familiar shadow in between the trees, dressed in a black dress and cloak, and suddenly she smiled. She looked back at her friend, meeting his green eyes.

"Yes, Harry. Never been better."


	8. Falling Through The Thunderclouds

_Count your smiles instead of your tears;__  
Count your courage instead of your fears.__  
(Unknown)_

* * *

"Madame Lestrange."

The voice that called her was deep but not unfamiliar. She turned at the official calling of her name. Immediately she occluded her mind though she knew the pieces of scum behind her would be no match for her when it came to invading her. She had grabbed her wand automatically and did not ease now that she laid eyes upon three different Death Eaters standing behind her. Yaxley was amongst them, the other two she only recognised vaguely, which meant she never bothered knowing their names.

"What do you want?" She barked defensively, slipping back into her old role as a Death Eater very easily. She playfully let her wand roll between her fingers as if to dare one of the three to make a wrong move.

She was standing in Diagon Alley. She wasn't sure why she had come here but after having Dissaparated when Hermione and her friends left, she lost track of them. This had seemed like the best bet to find any form of information, good or bad. Several people had shivered and cried as she walked past. One wizard had thrown himself at her feet, weeping for his family that had been taken by the Dark Lord. She could not let herself be seen as weak so she had drawn her wand, had shouted Crucio and the man had flinched in obvious pain. But because she did not mean her curse as much as she used to the torment for him was simply weak. She could swear he stared at her in shock when she walked on.

"The Dark Lord has sent us on a mission, Madame," Yaxley answered respectfully though in his eyes she could see he really wanted to pull out his wand and hex her. He had never been a big fan of her, knowing she was so much closer to the Dark Lord than he had ever been, or ever would be. The dislike was mutual.

"You ought not to stray from your mission," Bellatrix sneered, eying the other two Death Eaters who appeared to shiver at the mere sound of her voice and she cackled. "Unless you wish to return to the Dark Lord with wrongful information, Yaxley," She knew she had just insulted him, his face darkened at her words.

"Of course, Madame," he answered respectfully and gave her a nod. With the two Death Eaters closely behind him he strode off. Bellatrix watched to make sure he was gone. They headed straight for Knockturn Alley. She knew it was her safest bet, unless she wanted several more encounters with witches and wizards shouting at her, begging her or even cursing her. She did not wish to use any more curses but if she was forced to, she had to be relentless. She turned on her heels and made her way to Knockturn Alley also.

"Any sign of the Potter boy?"

She did not have to wait long to hear Harry's name and she froze, eager to hear the answer to that question. A group of Snatchers were standing closely together, just outside Borgin and Burkes. They were dressed in filthy, ragged clothes and she had no trouble seeing why the Dark Lord had gathered this miserable lot to look for Harry, his friends, any other Mudbloods that were out there and whoever else was opposing him. They did not appear to be the brightest lot, and from where she was standing, not the cleanest lot either.

One of the Snatchers spotted her looking at them and nudged his fellow friends. They all turned their heads. She did not see the respect the other Death Eaters had shown her. They looked at her in contempt; one of them even had the nerve to grin. Bellatrix did not hesitate and grabbed her wand, rushing over to one of the filthy scavengers and pushed her wand under his nose. He stank and she pulled up his nose. "Have you forgotten how to address me?" she snapped at him, her wand still under his nose. His eyes widened in fear.

"Madame Lestrange," he muttered and she lowered her wand but did not put it away. She let her eyes wander from one Snatcher to the next. They were all pure blood wizards who lacked the tenacity to become a true follower. She cackled. They were cowards.

"Pathetic," She aimed her wand at the Snatcher once more and cried out "CRUCIO!"

The Snatcher twisted before her feet at the ground, screaming in agony. She had meant her curse this time, yet felt revolted she had used it. But she laughed. She laughed like she had done back then. The other Snatchers watched in horror how they friend was being tormented by this black haired witch. When she pulled her wand away he stopped squirming, panting heavily and struggling to breath. Tears streamed down his dirty face. Intense charcoal eyes pierced into the remaining Snatchers. "Now, which one of you pathetic little rats is going to tell me where Harry Potter is?"

One of the Snatchers had the nerve to argue with her. "Madam, the Dark Lord pays us to find the ones he wishes to dispose of. The boy named Harry Potter."

Bellatrix was quick. The tip of her wand made contact with his chest, right above his heart. "Harry Potter," she hissed "is to be killed by the Dark Lord and the Dark Lord alone. You must know that. "he lowered her wand and thought this was enough for any of these idiots not to disagree with her again. Her voice was dangerously low. "Now tell me where he is!"

"On the run," another Snatcher answered and she rolled her eyes at the obvious and very much displeasing answer, rolling her wand between her fingers "Last we heard he is somewhere in Wales but no one has seen him for about a week or so. Why do you wish to know, Madame?"

"Because you lousy vermin are incapable of fulfilling even the simplest of tasks!" Bellatrix screamed, carelessly kicking the Snatcher still on the ground because he had grabbed hold of her dress and arched an eyebrow in contempt. "The boy is only seventeen and has been at large for weeks! I shall have to go and find him myself. You lot are a disgrace to your name and to your wands"

She flicked her wand. The Snatcher that had been on the ground before her was pulled back to his feet and she pushed him towards his friends.

"Sort him out," she barked before walking away, her wand still firmly in her hand. As she left them she heard their shocked whispers. She felt disgusted by what she had done but she needed to know where Harry was. Not knowing where he was meant she was unable to protect him. And with the vermin at large that was hunting down every road and every house looking for Mudbloods, Blood traitors, Half bloods and Muggles it would only be a matter of time before they found them.

As she turned a corner, Bellatrix's eyes widened in shock when another group of people walked towards her. It was a group of Death Eaters, led by the other Bellatrix Lestrange, who was really a Polyjuiced Goyle. They were heading straight for Borgin and Burkes. Her heart was pounding heavily in her chest as she thought of what to do. She did not want to think about the consequences if they were to see her. If the Snatchers were to lay eyes upon the fake Bellatrix, there was a chance they might mention the previous meeting. She could not risk any of that from happening. She pulled the hood of her cloak over her head, hiding her own appearance almost completely and stepped into the shadows between two buildings, her wand at the ready.

"Stupefy!" she cast the silent spell at one of the other Death Eaters and he fell to the floor. All the other Death Eaters immediately spun around, casting jinxes and curses randomly. One green flash of light only just missed her and the Killing Curse hit the nearest wall. As she had expected, it had been fired by her fake self. She watched as the fake Bellatrix carefully approached the shadows in which she lingered, her wand drawn but not sending another curse. She too raised her own wand and waited a few more seconds.

"Imperio!"

Her spell hit its target straight away, crashing into the fake Bellatrix. The spell had been impossible to detect for any of the other Death Eaters, who were too busy casting curses in all directions, and she watched the eyes of the fake Bella go blank for just a few seconds. The curse had worked. She carefully moved forward a bit, ordering her fake self to take her Death Eaters and return to wherever they came from. But not before casting another spell at where she was hiding seconds after she had left, to create the idea whoever had been in that alley was either dead or gone. She left the safety of her shadows and hid further away, waiting for the other Bellatrix to cast her spell. Another Killing Curse was send into the small alley and missed Bellatrix before the fake Bellatrix turned away, facing the other Death Eaters,

"We must leave at once," she heard herself say and the Death Eaters knew better than to argue with a witch who had just send to Killing Curses and didn't even bother to see whether or not she had killed her victim. They simply turned around and left.

Bellatrix let her breath escape before eventually leaving her hiding place. Quickly, and without being seen, she left Knockturn Alley and stepping back into Diagon Alley. In the distance she saw her fake self and the other Death Eaters disappear. She closed her eyes, held on to her wand, turned on the spot and Dissaparated.

~()~

Everything at Hogwarts had changed. Bellatrix could no longer Apparate onto the grounds, so she found when she collided with a magical defence that had been put up around the school. She knew it was dark magic. Voldemort had invaded Hogwarts too. Bellatrix Apparated in Hogsmeade like she used to do and made her way through the Shrieking Shack onto the school grounds. Still, no one had closed off this entrance. The Dark Arts were definitely even more stupid than she thought. She exited the tunnel and now found herself standing on Hogwarts grounds. The castle was dark, yet lights were burning. It was as if the magical glow it always used to cast had simply disappeared. From the corner of her eye she then saw the lake and without any regard for being seen she just started running.

The marble was the same as the headstone she had seen at the graveyard in Godric's Hollow and it appeared to shine and glow underneath the water's surface. She fell to her knees at the side the lake, desperate tears once more streaming down her face as she finally laid eyes upon the tomb that held the body of Albus Dumbledore. She felt helpless, lost. She didn't know where Harry, Ron and Hermione were. She missed the young witch. Just not being able to see her was bad but now knowing whether they were all right was worse. She knew that once they'd be caught the whole world would know. She could only hope that moment would never come.

"Tears never bring back a loved one, dear Bella. They only leave us longing for the times shared together," a voice tenderly spoke behind her, a hand on her shoulder carefully pulling her up. "He thought highly of you. Till the final day he was worried about you."

Bellatrix stood face to face with Minerva McGonagall. It was her who had spoken those friendly warm words, her hand resting upon Bellatrix's shoulders. "I have been expecting you, Bellatrix."

"I didn't know where else to go," Bellatrix rubbed her eyes and brushed her tears away. She tried to keep her breath under control. "I-I need to speak to you, Professor."

"We shall have to do it here, I am afraid. The castle…" Minerva glanced over her shoulder "…Is no longer safe. In case you haven't heard, Snape is Headmaster now and half the teaching staff is made up out of Death Eaters. But I am proud to say my students fight back."

"Your students apart from Harry Potter and his friends," Bellatrix answered, seeing the confusion and worries reflect in Minerva McGonagall's eyes. "He is on the run, with his friends. Some sort of task they have to do for Dumbledore. The Snatchers are after them. The Dark Lord wants to kill Harry himself. No other is to do it."

"You have seen Potter?" McGonagall whispered, her eyes widening.

Bellatrix nodded. "I found them. They have been on the run for weeks. But I lost track of them and have been unable to locate them since. Rumour has it they are in Wales. If they are found….." Desperation laced her words and she was surprised when Professor McGonagall took her hand. "If he is found the Dark Lord will not hesitate to kill him."

"These are dark times, Bella. We can do nothing more but stick together and fight for the light. We must keep on trying, no matter how hopeless it may seem," McGonagall answered softly and stuck her hand in her robes before pulling out a familiar looking Potion phial. "I found it in his office the night he died. I knew it had something to do with you. It wasn't until I found the letter, hidden away but suddenly exposed upon his death that explained everything to me. Keep this with you and whenever the time comes, use it wisely," she carefully placed the phial containing the Polyjuice Potion Dumbledore had offered Bellatrix the night she disappeared into her hand.

Bellatrix nodded and glanced at the castle, up to the tower where she knew the Headmaster's office was. A devious grin played on her lips. "You know I could just go in there and kill Severus Snape. No one would be too surprised to see me in that castle. I am, after all, a Death Eater."

"Oh I am sure you could my dear Bellatrix," McGonagall answered in that so familiar tone. "But, to the contrary, you are no longer a Death Eater." Without warning she had taken Bellatrix's arm and rolled up her sleeve. "This…" She pointed at the Dark Mark "…does not make you who you are." She let go of her arm and now pointed at her chest, right at her heart. "This makes you who you are. You can walk in there and kill Severus Snape and I can do nothing to stop you but to do so would make you everything that Mark stands for."

Bellatrix looked at her old Transfiguration teacher. She had never really warmed to McGonagall when she was in school but everything had changed now. She smiled. "You are right, professor."

McGonagall peered over her glasses, sharing a rare smile with the dark haired witch. "I know."

"Professor McGonagall."

It was Snape's voice, Bellatrix realized. And much to her displeasure she realized she still could not Disapparate from the grounds so she had to run her way back to the tree. McGonagall shook her head when she saw Bellatrix's eyes desperately look around and pointed at her arm. She was about to run but turned to look back at Minerva McGonagall.

"Be careful. I will try to return when I can," she whispered urgently, her eyes focused on where Snape's voice had come from. She could not see him but she could hear him. That was dangerous enough.

McGonagall realized Bellatrix was thinking she couldn't Disapparate. "They…" She nodded in the direction of where Snape's voice had come from "…manage to do it because of their Mark. You should be able to as well."

Bellatrix wondered why she had clashed with the protective spells when she had tried to Apparate onto the ground earlier but did not waste precious minutes trying to answer that question. She just took her wand and turned on the spot, feeling the strong wind pull her hair when she Dissaparated. McGonagall just faded into the distance, became a blur and then she was gone.

McGonagall just glanced at the spot Bellatrix had been standing just seconds ago before taking her wand from her robes and casting a bright "Lumos" all over the lake. The several lights danced over the water until they circled around Dumbledore's tomb. Out of nowhere Snape appeared behind her.

"I thought I heard voices," he said, scanning the edge of the lake only to find McGonagall very much alone. She turned, being faced his with abnormally large nose and disgustingly dirty black hair. She had lost count of the amount of times she had felt the urge to transform the nearest object into a bottle of shampoo.

"I am sorry to disappoint you, Severus," McGonagall answered sternly "It is merely me, alone with my thoughts and the wisest wizard this world has ever known." She included the last bit to taunt him. She knew he would not hurt her. As much as he hated to admit it, Snape needed her to still be able to run Hogwarts and he knew it. And she made sure he knew it.

"The old coot is dead," Snape sneered, glancing carelessly at the marble tomb in the lake. "And he was a fool."

McGonagall stared at Snape. "Not a bigger fool than the one I am being faced with tonight, Severus." She paused. "You have made a terrible mistake. And somewhere in that block of ice that is supposed to be your heart, you must know it." And she left him there, by Dumbledore's tomb, as she strode back to the castle. The lights she had cast, still danced over the water.

~()~

The snow had melted and weak spring sunshine found its way through the clouds. Winter had been cold, leaving her alone on her journey with no clear insight as to where she was going. She had travelled up and down the country, following the rumours. Sleeping outside underneath the star riddled skies as temperatures dropped way below zero left her cold, forcing her to enlarge her fires to stay warm, increasing the risk of being seen.

All those nights Bellatrix thought about her; the young, intelligent witch who had come to look for her, who believed in her. Hermione Granger had been the constant thought and vision in her head. Whatever she did, and even if she tried to occlude her mind, it was as if the young witch always found her way through. Like an everlasting memory, a whispering ghost. She would see her eyes and her smile. And then she would see Harry, with his mother's green eyes, beautiful Lily. Beautiful eyes. Whatever she had felt back then, she felt again now. But only, she was no longer seventeen. And she was now too scared by her past to even consider the option of loving, let alone being loved in return.

March arrived and the first flowers of spring started to peek out of their tight little buttons. Slowly fields started to regain their colour. Birds were singing, clearly oblivious to what was going on. She made her way through the English landscape, mostly overnight to make sure she wasn't seen. Passing through villages she would sort of the wizards and witches, hoping anyone would be speaking of the Boy Who Lived and who was still on the run.

News ran out soon after. It was as if any sign of Harry, Hermione and Ron had just vanished into thin air. With anguish and sadness in her heart, after passing through another village and haven stolen some fruit and some bread from a farmer, she knew she could not keep going this way. She had heard the name of the Dark Lord had been Tabooed. Speaking his name would result in instant arrest, unless one was a Death Eater, yet they never had the courage to speak his name.

She saw no other option. No other choice. She needed information. She needed to know. She couldn't stand wandering around the hills, valleys and forests of England and not knowing where they were.

Night had fallen yet it was still early. She had not made a fire but waited until the final rays of sunlight had disappeared, colouring the sky in an odd colour of orange and red. Her wand safely in her hand, Bellatrix closed her eyes and focused before turning on the spot.

When she reopened her eyes she was standing outside the gates of Malfoy Manor. She had come back to the one place where danger was at an all-time high yet only here could she find the answers she was looking for.

* * *

_It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong.__  
(Abraham Lincoln)_


	9. The Lightening That Breaks The Sky

_Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth__  
(Benjamin Disraeli)_

* * *

She waited for the total darkness to fall. The silence had been strange and haunting. The manor looked deserted from this distance. Somehow the moon had not appeared and there were no stars. The sky was simply black. She had been hiding in the safety of the shadows, just outside the gates, when suddenly a loud CRACK disturbed her. A group of people had Apparated just by the gates. She recognised several Snatchers, Fenrir Greyback being one of them and obviously the leader of the gang. They carried what appeared to be a group of prisoners, all bound together by magic robe. A boy and a goblin, neither of whom she recognised. Then two prisoners she could not quite make out but one of them looked rather strange, as if a Stinging Jinx had gone wrong. But then her heart stopped in her chest. She suddenly felt frozen. The last prisoner in the group had bushy curly brown hair and tears were streaming down her face. It was Hermione. Her eyes drifted back to the two prisoners before she saw Hermione and realized one of them was ginger, definitely Ron Weasley. Then she looked at the boy who had to be Harry Potter but looked strangely different.

The sight of Hermione, Ron and Harry captured was her greatest fear. She didn't know what to do but had to restrain herself from running out of her hiding and shooting curses at all the Snatchers. Whoever was in the manor would only take minutes, maybe even seconds, to see what was going on and then everything would be lost. No... She had to think of something else. She wished it was her who was in cuffs, that it had been her whom they had found and had dragged out here to face whatever fate was waiting for them inside. She felt tempted to make herself known but she remained in the shadows, anxiously watching the scenes unfold.

The gates called out in a terrible shrieking voice and demanded the status of those who had arrived. When Greyback answered they had caught Potter, the gates swung open and the group marched in. Bellatrix knew she couldn't wait. Without thinking she too sneaked into the gate, staying a safe several steps behind the Snatchers. She knew they were going to take them in the house and all she could do was wait. Wait and see what would happen. They marched into the house, the heavy front door closing quickly behind them. She had lost her chance of getting inside the house unnoticed. She had to find another way.

The passing minutes felt like hours. She had managed to make her way around the Manor house, and now she was knelt down on the floor outside the drawing room window, peering inside. It was crowded in the room. There were the Snatchers with their bound prisoners, Narcissa, Lucius and Draco and the fake Bellatrix had not long walked into the room as well. Narcissa had attempted to identify Harry and his friends and even Draco and Lucius had tried but neither seemed to have been convinced they had captures the ones they were looking for. Or were they simply playing it, unsure and terrified by the fate that lay ahead of these prisoners?

Hermione cried. Silent tears ran down her face. Bellatrix held onto her wand, but knew she could not act. If she made one wrong move, Hermione would die. She watched in horror as the other Bellatrix shrieked and cried abuse at the others in the room, casting Stupefy jinxes and desperately crying about the sword the prisoners had brought along. She registered the panic in her voice, the mortal danger in which she had found herself. As she watched, she could hardly believe this had once been her. So manic, so disturbed as she kept crying and screaming abuse. She now sneered at Greyback though she could not quite make out what she had said. Whatever it had been, it had offended the werewolf but he too was no match for her. Within seconds, he was on his knees before her, handing over the sword.

Suddenly, after she had inspected the sword and had paced around the room whilst frantically mumbling to herself, Bellatrix turned and gave the loud and clear order for all the prisoners to be locked in the dungeon, all but Hermione. The young witch looked petrified, silent tears still running down her face as she was practically thrown to the black haired witch while her friends were being dragged away. Hermione was left in the room, surrounded by the evil that came from all these people. She had fallen onto her knees before Bellatrix, who aimed her wand at the brown haired girl.

Outside, Bellatrix's heart hammered against her ribcage. It felt so heavy and loud she was almost convinced they were able to hear it inside. Pearls of sweat had appeared on her forehead, her wand still securely in her hand. She knew herself. She knew her old self. She knew the hatred this fake Bellatrix felt for Mudbloods like Hermione. And she knew what she was going to do. And with tears welling up in her eyes she was forced to sit and watch as Bellatrix fell into another manically disturbed tantrum.

"CRUCIO!"

Hermione's screams were tormenting, sending cold shivers through her body and freezing her heart before it broke into shattered pieces. It cut through her soul. Never had she been so desperate in her life to stop anything as she was now to stop Hermione's terror. The pain reflected of the young witch's face, flinching and squirming under Bellatrix's torment. Her tears fell freely, her cries of pain and torture terrifying to all of those who could hear. From her spot by the window she could see Narcissa flinch, averting her eyes from the scene unfolding before her eyes. Draco looked helplessly at his mother. Yet his filthy slime bag father was the only one to watch in pleasure as Bellatrix tormented Hermione.

Hermione's begs and pleas were muffled by her tears, desperately trying to fight of the curse and vaguely attempting to move away from the witch that hurt her so bad. The pain was excruciating, as if all her insides were being cut open and set on fire. The pain was raw. Terrible images flashed through her head. Memories she had stored so deep away flashed before her eyes mixed with the distorted images of the Dark Mark, screams of pain from people she didn't know.

Bellatrix was shouting and screaming at Hermione, her face had changed into an ugly mask of utter despair over the sword and a sick mixture of amusement as Hermione cried and squirmed before her.

Hermione had one brief thought of her own when the pain subsided and she just wished, and kept on whishing, Bellatrix would kill her. She knew this wasn't the real Bellatrix. She knew it. She had to keep believing it. Through her mist of tears she looked up to her tormenter, to find the black haired with cackling and looking down at her with a disgusted look in her eyes. She had to keep believing she wasn't real... She had to... The pain returned even worse than before and she cried out again as it felt like her body was cut to pieces, bit by bit, shredded until nothing of her remained. Her brain felt as if it was going to explode, her eyes burning in her face. Her mouth was so terribly dry.

She suddenly stopped after Hermione must have given her a sobbing answer. She sent Draco to fetch something and the boy returned with the goblin, avoiding making eye contact with his aunt or anybody else in the room. Fear was clearly written on his face. Minutes past, feeling like hours as the scenes unfolded before her eyes. Tears were streaming down her face and she wasn't sure what hurt her more; seeing Hermione being tortured and not being able to do something or seeing who or what she used to be.

Unexpectedly Bellatrix gestured to Greyback, clearly satisfied by whatever the goblin had told her. There was relief clearly visible on her face. Greyback was now sneakily moving into Hermione. All her muscles tensed up, knowing it took only a small bite or even a graze of his teeth to change Hermione forever.

Then there was a flash of light, a scream followed by stunned faces. A well-aimed Expelliarmus knocked Bellatrix's wand out of her hand. It had been Ron who had cast the spell. The next spell hit Lucius in his chest, much to her own pleasure, though the battle now starting before her eyes stirred something inside her and she carefully rose to her feet, her wand at the ready. Lucius had been knocked out by a well-directed "Stupefy". Narcissa, Draco and Greyback shot their curses but it was Bellatrix once more who froze the scene.

She held Hermione up, pressed tightly against her own body like a shield. It was the act of a coward. The young witch was unconscious, being held up by Bellatrix's tight grip and she was bearing the clear marks of torture. A small silver knife was tightly pressed against her throat. Bellatrix ordered everybody to freeze, or else the Mudblood would die.

Outside, Bellatrix froze too. It would only take one shot. One well hit curse. But she couldn't. She was frustrated, anxious. The situation was too dangerous to act. Her wand had already shot red sparks into the ground as it sensed her anger. She watched how Harry and Ron dropped their wands and Draco collected them, leaving the two young boys unable to defend themselves. Both of them looked desperately at Hermione. Ron had tears in his eyes. In Harry's eyes she saw the purest form of hatred towards Bellatrix Lestrange.

Slowly Bellatrix's eyes looked up to the chandelier in the drawing room. She wasn't sure why she suddenly realized it was there. Then again, she had been into this room so many times. It was an easy target. No one would ever know. She aimed her wand and muttered the spell. She could see it move slightly, before it came loose from the ceiling it had been attached to. The fake Bellatrix was right underneath it, still holding up the unconscious Hermione. She was speaking to the others before her eyes nervously wandered up to the ceiling and just caught the chandelier losing its original place and falling down towards her. With a scream she dived aside, leaving Hermione and the little goblin that still clutched the sword in his tiny hands to be nearly crushed by its heavy weight.

She grinned to herself. Her action had been successful. She just caught Ron running over to Hermione and Harry grabbing all the wands out of Malfoy's hands. Then she suddenly found someone staring at her. Narcissa, who had thrown herself to the floor when she chandelier crashed and had covered her head with her hands now carefully looked up and looked straight at the window. She was the only one who realized that was where the spell had come from. Her sister's eyes were still as blue as she remembered them to be. Bellatrix was unsure whether Narcissa had really seen her or had looked at the window simply in question... either way, watching the scenes unfold was no longer an option. She could not risk staying any longer. There was no time to cast one final glance at the scene inside, as the fake Bellatrix rose back to her feet.

She closed her eyes, tried to focus and eventually managed to Disapparate to whatever location came into her head first.

~()~

She crashed onto the floor, having lost her concentration while Apparating. The collision with the ground was harsh and very unfriendly to say the least. It smashed the air out of her lungs, leaving her gasping and coughing but she crawled back onto her feet almost straight away, thankfully breathing in the cool evening air that now found its way into her lungs. She made sure she hadn't lost any body parts and once she assured everything was still there, she looked around to try and figure out where she was.

She couldn't focus. Her vision was somewhat of a blur. Her body still rushed with adrenaline, her heart still pounding rapidly inside her chest in such a speed that it hurt. Her eyes flashed from left to right, her wand still tightly in her hand. She shook her head, trying to erase some of the wicked sensations she felt but couldn't release herself. She aimed her wand at a set of trees and screamed "REDUCTO!" It was as if blowing things off released her anger and frustration. The trees had just exploded into countless pieces.

Bellatrix ran her hands through her hair. The scenes of Malfoy Manor still flashed before her eyes. Hermione lay on the floor, screaming and crying as her body squirmed under the torture inflicted upon her. Harry and Ron had come to her aid, battling the Malfoy's and the other Bellatrix to save her. The danger, the mortal danger they had been in, they had overpowered the Malfoys and still Bellatrix wasn't sure whether they had gotten away, whether they had managed to escape the Manor. She could only hope, for now, that they had.

The world around her slowly regained its original shape and form, the blurs slowly fading away. Suddenly she realized where she was. She was standing at the outskirts of Hogsmeade. She glanced around. It was deserted. In the distance she could see the castle. It looked dark and horrific against the black evening sky. She swallowed, slipping her hand in her cloak to retrieve her wand before closing her eyes and Dissaparating once again, this time Apparating not far from the lake. She pulled up her hood and once more glanced up to the castle.

Her hands were shaking as she aimed her wand and tried to think of positive thoughts. She couldn't remember the last time she had produced a Patronus. She had no idea what it would look like, whether she could still do it. She took a deep breath, aiming her wand at the lake. "Expecto Patronum."

A thin silver cloud like mist streamed out of her wand and she felt her frustration rise. She grasped her wand tighter. The silver mist began to fade away. She closed her eyes and called up Hermione's image. She saw the young witch's smile and a warm, sensitive glow fell over her. Without looking she directed her wand once more. "Expecto Patronum!"

From the way her wand felt in her hand and the power of her spell, she knew she had done it this time. Carefully she opened her eyes to find a silver owl flying around her. She smiled. Her Patronus had changed. "Find Professor McGonagall. Do not leave her until she comes out here."

The Patronus flew off, casting a tender silver ray of mist as it flew through the sky. Bellatrix stood by the lake, like she had done so many other times. Dumbledore's tomb was sparkling under the surface. She sighed. "I am doing the best I can, Headmaster. But I feel like I have failed. Harry got captured and only just managed to escape. I am unsure how to protect him further."

Minutes passed. She sat in the grass, the images of what happened at Malfoy Manor still playing before her eyes. She wished she could take some of Hermione's pain. She wished she could feel some of it. Carry some of the burden and the shame. To be able to do anything other than lurking in the shadows and having to watch as things unfolded before her eyes.

"Bella, what happened?" McGonagall came running from the direction of the castle, following the Patronus owl the black witch had produced. She was panting slightly; the tight bun on her hair had come undone in her run to find Bellatrix. She leant against a tree, trying to catch her breath, while Bellatrix watched the older witch. McGonagall's glasses were lob sided on her nose. "What is it?"

"It's Harry. They captured him," Bellatrix whispered and when McGonagall's eyes widened she shook her head. "He has escaped from Malfoy Manor, with Ron and Hermione. Or so I assume. They were still battling when I had to leave. They tortured Hermione. It- it was horrible."

"Where are they now?" McGonagall asked, casting anxious looks at the castle. The last time they were interrupted by Severus Snape.

"I-I don't know," Bellatrix whispered, tears dripping from her eyes and she sobbed "I had to leave. Narcissa saw me. I think she did. I couldn't stay." She looked up to McGonagall. "I will have to go back. I need to know. I need to find them." Suddenly she glanced at the owl who was still circling her and McGonagall and she tried to smile. "Find Hermione Granger," she told her Patronus "Tell her I am looking for her." The owl simply flew off. Patronusses could be instructed to find people and pass on messages. She only hoped her owl could find Hermione. She looked back at McGonagall. "How are things here?"

"The students are trying to start riots but the Slytherins are having a blast by seeing the others hurt," McGonagall pulled up her nose "They never used to be so rotten, that lot. When Slughorn was their Head of House, I mean. Well, you yourself know. These days all those kids seem to fancy the Dark Arts, their mum and dad connected to the Death Eaters in one way or the other. I would not be surprised some of those brats have been Marked already."

Bellatrix was unsure whether the Slytherin kids had been Marked. As far as she knew Malfoy had been the exception, more to punish his father than anything else. She sighed, staring at the sky. "I still wish I could murder Snape."

"That makes two of us. And probably more," McGonagall answered, her lips curling up into a sad smile but her voice filled with pride as she thought about her students causing their riots. "I wish I could blow him of the Astronomy Tower like he did to Dumbledore. Listen Bella, do Harry and his friends know about you, following them?"

"Hermione does," Bellatrix answered and smiled subconsciously to the memory of the younger witch now that she mentioned her name "I know she has not told her friends. Both of them will try to stun me before I have even opened my mouth and I cannot blame them. Harry believes I killed his godfather, the only family he ever had. Ron now believes I tortured his beloved Hermione." She sighed. "I have to go, Professor. I need to go and find them."

McGonagall took Bellatrix's hands into her own and squeezed them. "Be careful, please."

Bellatrix quietly nodded before she turned on the spot and disappeared into the night.

~()~

Bellatrix Apparated in between some trees. She didn't know where she was. She had followed the sense from her Patronus. It had brought her here. The air was salty and in the distance she could hear waves crash against the rocks. She looked around. It was still dark but in the distance the sun was slowly coming up. The sky was changing into a yellowish orange. The first bird of the morning started to sing. She looked around and then saw the silver owl fly back to her. It landed on a tree branch above her head before she pulled out her wand. It vanished into nothing and she put her wand back in her cloak. Carefully, she walked from between the trees and breathed in the fresh, salty air. She realized she was at the coast. She then saw the little cottage. Several people were walking around outside and when she saw the ginger hair that belonged to Ron Weasley she knew she had come to the right place.

Her heart leapt up when she discovered Hermione. She looked weak, with dark rings around her eyes and even from this distance she could see the fresh red track marks left behind by tears. She swallowed, allowing the sadness to overwhelm her. She thought about what to do to get Hermione's attention without alarming the others. She knew they would curse her as soon as they saw her.

She softly whispered "Expecto Patronum" and the owl came returned. She muttered several spells but couldn't quite find the combination to just let it carry her voice. She did not want the others to hear it. It had to be only Hermione. After about ten minutes she thought she had done it and sent of the invisible owl with the message to Hermione, who was still standing outside the cottage.

She held her breath, counting down the seconds until she thought she saw Hermione's bewildered look gaze at the trees before almost unnoticeably pulling out her wand and whispering something to what appeared thin air. Seconds later, the invisible owl returned, with a message in Hermione's voice. "I'll meet you in an hour."

An hour had never seemed so long. She hovered between the trees after having walked up to the edge of the cliff and having looked down at the waves crashing onto the rocks. The sound was calming and relaxing. The fresh sea air had cleared her head and gave her a new sense of strength. Feeling the sea wind blow through her black hair made her feel freer than ever before. Time passed only slow but eventually, the front door of the cottage opened and Hermione stepped outside. She threw a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure no one followed her before walking over to the woods.

Bellatrix had wrapped her arms around the young witch, pulling her closely to her before Hermione had fully spotted Bellatrix between the trees. Hermione was pressed against Bellatrix's warm, safe chest, feeling her round curves press against her own body. She felt the older witch's heart pound as she thankfully wrapped her arms around her, safely resting her head against her chest. A deep breath escaped from her throat as she finally felt safe. Bellatrix placed a soft kiss on Hermione's head as her tears dripped into her hair. Hermione was shaky, trembling on her feet.

"I am so sorry," Bellatrix whispered, stroking Hermione's hair and the sides of her face. She felt her tears and lifted up the younger witch's chin to look into her eyes. "If I had not lost you, maybe this would never have happened. I am so sorry, Hermione."

"Me too," Hermione answered softly and suddenly she realized something. She looked into Bellatrix's deep brown eyes and saw the dark rings around them. "I know it wasn't the real you doing those things to me. I kept trying to hold on to that. I knew it wasn't you. I knew it wasn't you. But you were there weren't you? You made the chandelier fall."

Bellatrix nodded silently, pressing Hermione closer to her. She didn't want to let her go. It felt so good, so safe and warm to hold her. She wished she could just hold her forever. "Yes, that was me. I wanted to stay but Narcissa saw me, I think. I had to leave. I had no idea whether you made it. I went to Hogwarts before I send my Patronus to find you. The Patronus led me here."

Hermione pressed herself against Bellatrix's chest, her head still resting on the curves of her breasts as she listened to her heartbeat. Her hands slowly ran up and down Bellatrix's back, drawing circles at the small of her back before sliding forward and caressing her arms and taking her hands into her own. They stood together, intimately holding each other, and neither of them spoke. They stood listening to waves crashing and deeply taking in the sea air.

"Hermione?" It was Harry's voice calling from the open door before he stepped outside and closed the door behind him. He had come to look for Hermione and she quickly let go of Bellatrix, her eyes s shooting in the direction of the cottage. She knew Harry could see her. She knew Harry would see Bellatrix. Seconds. It was a matter of simply seconds. Harry's eyes wandered around the cottage and the nearby grounds before finally spotting his friend near the trees. His eyes widened as he saw she was not alone. Immediately he pulled out his wand. Hermione acted immediately.

She gave Bellatrix a firm push, knocking her to the floor and landing on top of her at exactly the same time Harry shouted "Stupefy". They dodged the red flash of light and it crashed into a tree.

Bellatrix, having the air crushed out of her now that Hermione lay on top of her, carefully pushed the younger witch of her and attempted to get back on her feet. Hermione struggled and fought to keep her down. "Don't! He will just keep going!" She cried out as she glanced over her shoulder. Harry was running towards them and behind him the cottage door had opened and Ron had come running out too. "He needs to understand. We have to tell him!" She did not get up, using herself as a shield between Bellatrix and Harry.

When Harry reached them he stared past Hermione, straight at Bellatrix. Bellatrix once more struggled to get up and, hoping it was safe, Hermione let her but still stayed standing in between her and Harry. He tried to approach Bellatrix but Hermione blocked him. Ron reached them too, his wand at the ready and he too was aiming at Bellatrix. Both were very much ready to cast another curse.

"Wait!" Hermione cried and looked from Harry to Ron and back "Don't! She is not who you think she is."

"Step aside, Hermione," Harry said firmly. Ron looked confused and puzzled from Hermione to Bellatrix, who was looking over Hermione's shoulder, clearly shocked by the protection from the younger witch, and then at Harry. His hand was shaking, the wand in his hand trembled. "I will deal with her. Why are you protecting her? Have you forgotten what she did to you only a few hours ago?"

"It wasn't her, Harry!" Hermione desperately cried, trying to catch Harry's eyes and he finally looked at her. Her face was red and puffy, tears streaming down her face. She still had cuts and bruises on her face from the torture she had to endure earlier today and only then did he realize she was holding Bellatrix's hand. "Listen to me!"

Carefully he lowered his wand but did not put it away. "Tell me why I should listen. And this had better be good."

"She has been living in hiding for a year and a half! She never took part in the fight at the Ministry. She never killed Sirius. She never tortured me!" Hermione cried, her tears still flowing freely. She was so relieved she could finally share the story. "She came to Dumbledore, he helped her get away. The Bellatrix we saw tonight, and any other time, was not real. It is a Death Eater who has been using Polyjuice Potion, has had his memory modified and operates under the Imperius Spell. The real Bellatrix Lestrange..." She glanced at the black haired with behind her "... has been coming to Hogwarts, tried to follow us while we were on the run and has been risking her life to save yours, Harry, to save all our lives!"

Harry looked suspicious. He wasn't sure whether to believe the stories. He tried to think of a way to test her. "What happened the night I left my family's home?" He threw the question at the Death Eater he hated so much. Hatred flickered in his eyes. Seeing the anger shocked Bellatrix and suddenly she broke. Tears began to stream down her face. It were those tears that convinced Ron, who had been watching with his mouth open, and he stowed his wand away.

"I-I don't know. I know you were betrayed. And I knew you flew, but that is all I know," Bellatrix answered, puzzled and confused. She looked at Harry. "I do not expect you to believe me, Harry Potter. But everybody else does. Dumbledore, McGonagall and your friend, Hermione. She came to find me. She was convinced something had changed and risk her life to find me."

Harry glanced at Hermione, who had wiped her tears away and was now staring at him with some sort of anger in her eyes. He lowered his wand completely and then carefully stowed it away. His eyes drifted back to Bellatrix. "You did not kill Sirius?"

She shook her head. "No. I did not kill my cousin. I had left the Dark Lord before that."

Harry nodded. Without saying another word he simply turned around and marched back to the cottage. Ron looked at Harry walking away and Hermione beside Bellatrix as if he was unsure it was safe to leave her with this former Death Eater. He then decided to follow his best friend and caught up with Harry halfway down the path and the two of them walked back to the cottage. Neither looked back.

"I did not expect him to hug me," Bellatrix sounded bitter, though she knew she shouldn't be. She glanced at Hermione. "Do you think they'll be mad at you?"

Hermione still held Bellatrix's hand and now she carefully let go. "I-I don't know" she looked up to meet Bellatrix's eyes. "I know I have done the right thing, and so have you." She leant in and kissed her briefly on the cheek. "I have to go inside. They will have questions. Will I see you again?"

"Soon," promised Bellatrix, her skin glowing where Hermione had kissed her. She watched the young witch walk back to the house. She felt an ache in her heart. She had seen how he looked at her. Ron Weasley. He had looked at Hermione the same way she did. With something deeper lingering underneath his gaze. She had seen how he noticed how Hermione held her hand; she had seen the flash of pain on his face. And now she watched Hermione join her friends and even though they now knew, she felt more alone than ever before.


	10. The Loss Of A Loved One

_When we lose one we love,__  
our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough__  
Maurice Maeterlinck._

* * *

The Manor lay at the end of the drive way. Something about the appearance of the house frightened her. There was something haunting, disturbing, about it. Bellatrix had been forced to Apparate just outside the large gates and she remembered how they had called out to visitors the last time she was here. She looked up to the metal bars separating her from the place she so desperately needed to be. She carefully stepped forward, expecting the gates to shriek at her any second. It did not happen. They swung open silently, opening the drive way and the path to the Manor to her. She walked carefully as the gravel snapped underneath her feat. She held her breath as she approached the Manor. It appeared abandoned. She did not feel the Dark Lord's presence. She knew the other Bellatrix wasn't here. She had seen them leave fifteen minutes ago; Draco and Lucius were with her.

She walked up to the large wooden front door. The Manor was dark. She didn't even see the haunting shimmer of flames in the fireplace casting terrifying shadows on the walls. The door opened for her, like the gate had done, though there was no one waiting for her behind it. As she carefully stepped into the long, marble floored hall she realized it was her Dark Mark that gave her the entrance to the house. The magic did not detect who was at the door, only whether they had a Mark or not. She held still in the hall, listening out for any sound. A familiar sound found its way into her ears before she turned around and made her way down to the room her sister was most likely to be.

She approached the drawing room. The door was slightly ajar and she saw the weak light of flames flickering in the fire place. They had only just been ignited, since she had been unable to see anything from the outside. Bellatrix peered around the door into the room, her eyes wandering around. The room was empty, apart from the big arm chair by the fire. She gasped for air when she found her sister, staring into the flames blankly. Her wand lay carelessly in her lap. Even from where she was standing Bellatrix could see the dark rings around her younger sister's eyes. Her skin was so much paler than the last time and she almost appeared to be glowing in the yellow light cast by the flames. Her blonde hair fell down the sides of her thin face, like a sleek curtain attempting to hide the pain and torment it had witnessed. Her lips were a thin red line, her hands simply lay folded in her lap, beside her wand. Suddenly she looked up.

Her eyes widened in shock when she laid eyes upon the beautiful dark haired woman standing in the doorway. There was something about Bellatrix's appearance that told Narcissa she was the real version. She occluded her mind, unsure as to why she did so though, as she watched how her sister rose from her chair and carefully strode towards the door. When Narcissa stopped she was only inches away from her older sister's face, her eyes piercing harshly into Bellatrix's.

The thought of Hermione being tortured in this room found its way back into her head. The pain she felt was terrible. She heard her screaming, her cries still echoed in her head. She clenched her fists, once more attempting to close of her mind. She did not look away from her sister. From the change in Narcissa's eyes she knew she had failed. Her sister, though not as skilled as she was, was very much capable of penetrating her mind. Narcissa looked curious, and then her eyes ignited in anger.

Bellatrix flinched when the sharp pain shot through her, her head falling to the side. Narcissa had slapped her harshly across the face. The physical pain triggered something inside she and she fought to suppress the immediate urge to beg for more. She carefully lifted up her head to find Narcissa was still staring at her. It was at this moment that, though she was so little like her in appearance, Narcissa reminded her so much of her mother. Disappointment and loathing clearly written on her face, yet her eyes still carried the unmistakable love for her sister. Narcissa's voice was nothing but a whisper but Bellatrix felt the venom.

"Traitor!" her sister cried silent tears. Bellatrix averted her eyes. It hurt to be called a traitor, to be spoken to this way by her sister. Never had Narcissa ever dared to disrespect her. Never in all those years had she ever spoken ill of her sister, until now. And she knew why. She had disgraced her. Yet her great sense of love was what her not reach for her wand, or press her Dark Mark. The ties of blood went beyond everything else.

"You ought not to be here," Narcissa spoke more clearly this time. She turned away from her sister and strode back to her chair. Bellatrix carefully followed. She glanced up to the ceiling. The chandelier had been restored in its original shape and position. The blood on the floor was gone. It looked like nothing had ever happened. But things did happen. Horrible things. She swallowed and looked at her sister.

"I know I ought not to be here. If someone sees me, I will die. And you will too, Cissy. They will not accept you protecting me," Bellatrix said urgently, kneeling down before her sister. She felt the comfortable warmth of the fire in her back, making her glow inside. She had not felt warm for so long.

"I am not protecting you," Narcissa sneered but Bellatrix knew it wasn't true. Narcissa had protected her from the moment she got out of Azkaban. Sadness overwhelmed her. She was the older sister. She should be protecting Narcissa, not the other way around. "You deserve to be taken prisoner and tortured. You have betrayed the Dark Lord!"

"The Dark Lord is not aware of my betrayal. He is unknowing about the change. I can only hope it stays this way," Bellatrix whispered, lowering her head. She did not wish to think about the Dark Lord's fury, his wrath towards anyone. She feared what he would do. "Cissy, how did you know?"

"You are my sister, Bella. You are my blood. Nothing changes that. I would recognise the real you if there were a dozen Death Eaters who had taken Polyjuice Potion and had the Imperius Curse put on them standing in this room with you," Narcissa answered. Bellatrix doubted if she herself would be able to do the same but she admired Narcissa's determination. "You saved the Mudblood! I know you were thinking about her, earlier."

"I," Bellatrix fell quiet. Narcissa had touched the subject of Hermione. Her sister knew this was no longer only about Harry Potter and him being Lily's son. She knew something else was going on. She swallowed, glancing at her sister trough her eye lashes.

"That little Mudblood is going to get you killed. She isn't worth it."

"It is not your place to speak of worthiness!" Bellatrix defended herself and Hermione. "She risked her life for me. She was the only one to believe me!"

"So you turn around and betray the only people who ever cared about you?" Narcissa suddenly shouted and she stood up from her chair. Bellatrix still sat on her knees on the ground. Narcissa all of a sudden appeared so much taller. "Dumbledore, Harry Potter, blood traitors and Mudbloods. What has become of you, Bellatrix? If Father could see you..."

"If Father could see me, he would disown me. Thank Merlin he is already dead! It's the best thing that ever happened! He would have hated me, like he hated Dromeda!" Bellatrix knew what Narcissa was trying to say and she too rose to her feet, closing the difference between her and her sister with to just a few inches. "And so would you. I-I came here to say goodbye, Narcissa. I will not come back. After tonight, you will not see me again. I don't know where I am going but nowhere will be safe. I do know, however, I will not be able to see you again."

Narcissa's eyes narrowed, flickering dangerously in anger. "It is the Granger girl isn't it? You want to be with her? Betray all of what you once had? Betray what you were born to be? You go to that little Mudblood bitch of yours."

Bellatrix had slapped her younger sister across her face before she even fully realized what she was doing. She didn't know why hearing Narcissa insult Hermione hurt her so much more than when anyone else used the world Mudblood. Narcissa's eyes widened, her skin glowing red where Bellatrix had hit her. She showed no pain, only disgust. Her slim fingers closed around her wand. Bellatrix immediately noticed the gesture and had grabbed her own wand before Narcissa could even move. The room was filled with dark, hatred filled energy. She narrowed her eyes as she did not look away from Narcissa raising her wand, ready to curse her. "You wouldn't. Your own sister, Narcissa?"

"I _hate_you!" Narcissa was ready but Bellatrix had always been the better skilled witch.

"Expelliarmus!"

Narcissa's wand ended up in the corner of the room, causing Narcissa to flinch in shock. Bellatrix's voice was a deep whisper, filled with both contempt and sadness. "I did not come here to fight or hurt you tonight, Cissy. I came here, one last time, to see you. I always believed in the honesty we shared. That night, when you showed me the picture of Harry, you were honest. You knew all along. You say you hate me but you have not betrayed me to the Dark Lord. Has Severus been teaching you better Occlumency? You have learned to close your mind better."

"I am no one's fool but my own!" Narcissa stated, staring curiously at Bellatrix's wand as if she had never seen such a thing before. She had expected her sister to curse her by now. Since she had not she felt it safe to move. Bellatrix followed her, not lowering her wand. Suddenly she saw the despair in her younger sister's eyes, her fear. She knew Narcissa was scared. "You do not realize how deep the darkness lies, Bella."

"I do," Bellatrix rolled up her sleeve and showed her the Dark Mark, shoving her arm under sister's eyes. "I do still, every day! It is not too late, Cissy. You can leave. I can help you. I know people who can help you! And Draco, if you want. Maybe even Lucius though I doubt he'd leave the Dark Lord. He'd rather abandon you." But you can come with me. It is not too late."

"And how exactly do you expect to do that?" Narcissa asked cynically "Have you forgotten Albus Dumbledore is dead? You have been on the run since the night you left, you know no safety. Every day is full of fear. The Order of The Phoenix is suffering greatly in their losses. Hogwarts has been infiltrated by the Dark Arts and riddled with Death Eaters. Harry Potter has disappeared once more and last but not least you are in love with a Mud..." She paused, rephrasing her words. "A Muggle born."

"Minerva can help. Minerva McGonagall. She still knows people. It will be hard but it can be done. Polyjuice Potion. It _can_ be done, Narcissa!" Bellatrix whispered desperately, seeing the fear in her sister's eyes. She stuck her hand in her robe, remembering the phial McGonagall had given her when she saw her at Hogwarts. "Come with me." She reached out her hand. "You can leave, tonight. You will be safe. I can protect you. We can protect you."

Carefully Narcissa reached out, placing her hand in Bellatrix's. Tears ran silently down her face as she ran her fingers across the palm of her sisters' hand. She was a broken shadow of the beautiful blonde woman Bellatrix had once known. Shattered and crushed by the fear of Lord Voldemort; tormented by the fear for her son and husband. She was unable to free herself from the dark demons that had closed in on her. Bellatrix had always believed she would be the one to drown and die in darkness.

"I can't," Narcissa whispered, pulling her hand away from Bellatrix. She was shaking. "It is too late, Bella." She froze. Bellatrix knew why. Her Dark Mark was burning. She knew her sister knew. She ignored the pain and did not take back her hand, still reaching out to her sister to come with her tonight. She caught her eyes, seeing the tears roll down her face. She felt tears stinging in her own eyes. If Narcissa did not come with her tonight, she was sure she never would see her again. The air changed. The Dark Lord was approaching.

"Cissy, please," Bellatrix whispered in despair. She felt her tears burn her skin. Narcissa looked frightened and suddenly she saw the little girl that stood crying by the side of her bed after a nightmare. She had only seconds before the first Death Eaters would arrive at the house. They were all summoned. "Cissy." She kept urging. Narcissa placed her hand back in Bella's and then suddenly flung her arms around her sister's neck. She had not hugged her for years. She had not touched her, held her like this, since they were teenagers. She briefly kissed her somewhere in her black curls before letting go, shaking her head.

"Goodbye Bella," she whispered, brushing her tears away and her face hardened. It changed into the mask she wore for the Dark Lord. "Leave now, before they see you. Stay safe and if you can, if ever, just let me know you are alive."

All was forgiven in that second; all water under the bridge. The ties of blood between two sisters had proven stronger than anything else in the world once again. Bellatrix heard the footsteps on the gravel, hurrying to the front door. It was matter of seconds. She held her wand, her eyes connecting with Cissy's one last time before the world became a blur and the image of her sister faded. "Goodbye, Cissy... I love you" Her words were only just audible when she turned on the spot and as the first Death Eaters marched into the drawing room, Narcissa found herself lonelier than she had ever been in her life.

~()~

"How can you trust her?"

Harry had been waiting for her right behind the door. He spoke as soon as she walked in. Hermione swallowed. She knew he had so many questions. She expected him to be angry, to feel betrayed. His voice was filled with pure hatred. She could sense he and Ron had been talking right before she came in. She wondered if they had called her a fool. Her eyes met Harry's and she slowly shook her head. Harry now walked over to the bed in the corner of the room, letting himself fall backwards and with a soft thud he collided with the mattress. She followed him with her eyes, finding Ron half way along. He quickly glanced at her, before looking away, clearly unsure what to think. It hurt to see both of them like this, looking at her as if she had betrayed them.

"Dumbledore trusts her!" Hermione argued, desperate for Harry to understand. He lay on the bed, staring firmly at the ceiling. She wondered whether he even wanted to listen. Harry was stubborn. If a point of view was not his own it took a lot persuading to even make him see a different angle, let alone make him believe it. She needed so desperately for him to listen. She needed for him to see he was wrong. Once more his hatred was blinding him.

"He trusted Snape too. Look what that got him," Harry snapped as he sat back up. He clung on to the wands they had retrieved from Malfoy Manor. "He paid for that trust with his life! In case you forgot, Snape killed Dumbledore! Seems he didn't do a very good job in picking out the good hearted Death Eater, now did he?"

She stared at the floor. Harry was right. Albus Dumbledore had trusted Severus Snape. And Snape had been the one to kill him that terrible night on the Astronomy Tower. She tried to fight the cold feeling in her chest. She knew she wasn't wrong. She knew Bellatrix had not lied to her. It was simply impossible. She remembered the safety and warmth when being pressed against her chest. The sensitive kisses placed on her head. She longed for nothing more than her closeness. Only then did she feel whole and safe. Her eyes wandered to the window. It was dark outside. She wondered where Bellatrix was.

"She is a Death Eater, for crying out loud! She has killed and tormented more people than we can ever imagine! God knows what terrible things she has done!" Harry shouted at her, his eyes flickering with hate. "She cannot be trusted!"

"You are wrong!" Hermione cried, suddenly realizing tears were rolling down her face. She shook her head. "She risked her life for you!"

"She risked her life for the Dark Lord too, once upon a time!" Harry threw the words back in her face and she felt her patience disappear rapidly. Harry was her best friend. She loved him like the brother she never had. But sometimes he was a stupid git and this was exactly one of those moments. "Hermione, she has fooled you!"

"She hasn't!" Hermione felt her knees shake. Her body was still weak from the torment it endured earlier today. "She has not told lies, Harry. She has done everything she could! It was you who changed her. When she found out you are Lily's son, she wanted nothing more than protect you!" Harry's eyes widened, in shock and surprise. "She knew you mother, Harry. It is because of her and the respect she has for her she has gone through all of this. She has lived in hiding and will be hunted down for the rest of her life because she wants to protect you! She understands you, and you alone, must battle the Dark Lord until death follows!"

"Hermione, Ron spoke for the first time and she looked at her friend. He was sitting on the floor, his resting against the bed. She was the only one still standing, towering over them. "Why are you so defensive of her?"

Hermione felt her breath choke in the back of her throat. She remembered the first time she laid eyes upon Bellatrix Lestrange, on the graveyard in Godric's Hollow. She had been so beautiful in the moonlight. Fragile and human. Traits she had never expected to see in a Death Eater with her past. During that night she watched her, her eyes constantly drawn back to the beauty that was Bellatrix Lestrange. As time had passed on, she had felt the longing for her grow stronger every day. The fear of not knowing, yet the safety of believing she was there, made her feel strange. She glanced at Ron.

"Because she risked her life for someone she didn't know; someone whom she was instructed to hate. She has proven there is hope after all!" She hesitated. "She is the true image of hope. Evil turned to the good side. To me, that's the reason to keep going. Hope isn't lost."

She cast one last look at Harry, who looked at Hermione with a puzzled look on his face and then turned around, grabbing the doorknob. She left the room, leaving the boys to their own thoughts and their confusion. She went downstairs, passed through the living room where the other inhabitants of the house were all sitting together. They looked at her, looks of pity on their faces. Her stomach twisted. She knew they felt sorry for her because of what she had to endure. She weakly smiled, muttered something about fresh air and then left the cottage. It had gotten cooler outside. She walked down the path, past the trees where she had seen Bellatrix earlier. She wasn't there. She sighed in sadness and then walked towards the cliffs. She sat down on a rock and looked down at the waves crashing in. The peaceful sound of the waves and the ocean, the fresh breeze in her air, drew out the tears she had been fighting back.

She felt confused. Over the years she had thought, even believed, she was in love with Ron. And though nothing had ever happened, she knew he had feelings for her. But now she realized what she felt when she saw him with Lavender, or Harry with Ginny, was jealousy. Not because Ron was with someone else but simply he was with someone while she was alone. She had mistaken her anger and jealousy for being in love. She had no idea of what being in love was. She had read about it, of course. But never had she felt it. Until now. She knew she felt it now. Everything was different. She was different. There were so many questions.

Women. Never had she even considered the thought. She had looked at some of her fellow students before, back at Hogwarts. She had found some of them beautiful or attractive, but never had she thought it was because of the fact she found women more attractive than men. And now there was this woman... This skilled, beautiful, dark witch who had crossed her path and left her with all these things to battle. On her own. She could not talk to anyone. They wouldn't understand

She suddenly felt the two strong arms slip around her waist and she lifted up her head now that she was disturbed from her thoughts. She felt the other body, sitting behind her on this rock, arms safely wrapped around her. She had appeared out of nowhere. Bellatrix's head rested softly on Hermione's shoulder, her black curls tickling the side of the young witch's face. Hermione leant back; pressing her body carefully against Bellatrix's and carefully placed her hands on hers.

"Why the tears?" Bellatrix whispered. Her breath was hot against Hermione's ear. "Why are you crying?"

"I-I talked to Harry and Ron," Hermione sobbed and she tried to stop crying. Her voice was rather strong as she continued. "Harry kept shouting at me that I was wrong. That Dumbledore had been wrong, like he had been wrong with Snape. He didn't want to listen to me. I hate it when he's like that. He never wants to see anyone else's point, just his own. Always thinks he's right. Until he's proven he isn't"

Bellatrix brushed her face against Hermione's. It felt safe and secure be here with her. She was unsure whether to tell her about tonight's events at Malfoy Manor. "You must understand how he feels. There you are, his best friend, standing next to a feared Death Eater and you tell him to believe the Death Eater has crosses sides. All he sees, Hermione, is a monster."

"You are not a monster," Hermione said defensively, turning her head slightly so she could look at Bellatrix sitting behind her. Their eyes met and Bellatrix's lips curled up into a little smile.

"I am a monster to many, even myself, and I afraid I will be one to many forever," she answered, her eyes now drifting towards the sea. "I have done things you cannot imagine, Hermione. And do not even try to think about them with that pretty little heard of yours. My past is darker than this sky. I am a murderer, Hermione. You mustn't forget that. Never forget what I am."

"You can change what you are becoming," Hermione answered wisely and Bellatrix couldn't help but chuckle. She pulled Hermione even closer. She let her lisp brush against her hair. She looked at the dark witch sitting behind her, trying to turn around so she could look at her better. "You past doesn't make you who you are. You make yourself. And if you change, if this ever ends, the war, there may be a place for you somewhere."

She had pressed her lips against Bellatrix's before either witch had realized what happened. Around then the waves crashed against the cliffs and the wind pulled their hair. Hermione carefully closed her eyes, pressing her lips firmer onto Bellatrix's. She tasted sweeter than she expected, sweeter than anything she had ever tasted. It was different from any other kiss she had ever had. Her first kiss with a woman. She felt Bellatrix freeze before she eased down and carefully licked Hermione's bottom lip before the younger witch parted her lips and met Bellatrix's tongue with her own.

Seconds seemed to last for hours before Bellatrix's pulled away. Hermione slowly opened her eyes, groaning in displeasure of not being able to feel the other woman any more. When she looked at Bellatrix she found the older witch staring at her, partially amused and partially bewildered. She smirked sheepishly, feeling her face flush and her cheeks turned red.

"Hermione," Bellatrix whispered and brushed her fingers through the younger witch's hair "You must understand something. Everything you feel, I feel too. But you have to understand what I am! I am too old, too damaged and scarred. There is too much blood on my hands." She paused, seeing how Hermione's eyes widened. "You deserve someone who is right for you; younger, not as damaged and messed up as I am. Not a murderer like me. Someone who will not make you lose your friends and family. Being with me will do that to you."

Hermione shook her head. "Don't say that," she whispered, stroking Bellatrix's face. "Don't say those things!" She pointed at the house. "In that cottage lives Ron's brother. He was attacked by a werewolf but did not become one. He is badly scarred and has changed. His wife still loves him for who he is." She looked into Bellatrix's eyes. "Your own niece married a werewolf and they are expecting a baby."

Bellatrix rose to her feet. "I cannot let you ruin your own life because of me, Hermione. It's not worth it."

"That is for me to decide," Hermione stood up to, taking Bellatrix's hands into her own. "Times are hard. We need each other. I need you. Maybe when all of this is over, maybe then."

Bellatrix realized how grown up and mature Hermione was. She stood here, in front of her, desperately telling her she did not care about what she was. Hermione was only seventeen, soon to be eighteen. She had become an adult into the Wizarding world a while ago. She sounded like one, she acted like one. "Maybe," she whispered, letting her fingers run over Hermione's fingers. "I would love to believe there is a maybe in the future."

"Then believe," Hermione closed the space between them, letting go of Bellatrix's hands and wrapping her arms around her. "Just believe." She brushed her lips against Bellatrix's when the dark haired witch leant in.

The cottage front door opened and Harry's voice was carried through the night. He was talking to Ron though Hermione couldn't quite make out what they were saying. Both of them were walking down the path that led to the cliffs where Hermione and Bellatrix were standing. As the two boys approached Bellatrix wanted to back away – out Hermione's arms- but Hermione did not let her go. Harry and Ron knew about Bellatrix being on their side and she was still angry with them about how they had spoken to her earlier that she didn't care whether they saw her in what could be considered a compromising position.

"We need to come up with a plan and make sure Bill and Fleur don't..." It was Ron talking but he stopped when he spotted Hermione, still with her arms around Bellatrix, standing at the edge of the cliff. Her head rested against her chest and the dark witch's hands ran through Hermione's bushy light brown hair. Harry stopped in his tracks too, watching with a puzzled look on his face. He glanced at Ron. His best friend's face had turned into that of a thundercloud. He knew how Ron felt about Hermione and he had always thought Hermione felt the same about Ron but the scene in front of them told them something else.

Hermione looked up when she realized Ron and Harry were there and she finally let go of Bellatrix. She glanced at the older witch and then threw a dark look at her friends. She felt something she had not felt before. Triumph. She had managed to make them finally see she was human. She triumphed in silencing them. If it had not been for Dumbledore's orders and the quest they were on, she would have gone with Bellatrix tonight and headed off into the night. But she was loyal to Dumbledore, to stop the darkness from swallowing the world alive, and knew their journey needed to be completed.

"Hermione," Harry said, looking from his friend to Bellatrix and back. Suddenly he wondered whether he had been wrong all this time. His eyes connected with Bellatrix. "Bellatrix."

"I have to go," Hermione said softly, taking Bellatrix's hand into her own. Bellatrix nodded. "Stay safe and think about what I said. Just keep believing." She rose to her toes and to Harry's outmost surprise and shock she briefly kissed Bellatrix on her lips before walking away from her. She walked past Ron and Harry without saying another word and headed back to the cottage. Harry had turned to watch her walk away, as had Ron, and when he turned back to look at Bellatrix he saw the dark haired witch had Dissaparated.


	11. Going Through The Storm

_Clouds come floating into my life,__  
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,__  
but to add colour to my sunset sky.__  
(Rabindranath Tagore)_

* * *

"Hermione?"

Harry found Hermione in the smallest bedroom of Shell Cottage. He stepped into the room and closed the door carefully behind him. She was sitting on the bed, holding a pillow pressed against her stomach, carefully rocking herself backwards and forwards. She didn't look up when Harry walked in. The room was dark and Harry's fingers had already found the light switch but then he decided Hermione maybe preferred the darkness that surrounded them and took his hand back.

"Where's Ron?" Hermione whispered, as if she only just became aware of Harry's presence. She could vaguely see Harry's shape in the darkness. She heard him carefully walk over to the bed as the wooden floorboards made crooking noises under his feet and from the movement on the mattress she felt him sit down.

"Downstairs with the others," Harry answered softly, looking at his friend. He could see Hermione's face, lit up by the pale moonlight that fell through the small window. He could see the tracks of her tears. She was still crying. He didn't know what to do. For some reason now he did not reach out to wrap an arm around her. He sat and watched her. Hermione didn't appear to notice his hesitation to comfort her.

"Harry, I don't know what to say," Hermione whispered, not looking at her best friend. She just stared at the moon.

"Bellatrix?" Harry suddenly snapped, his eyes widening in anger. Hermione knew the anger had been racing through his body from the moment he had seen her with the dark haired witch. It had only been a matter of time. "How in Merlin's name could you even do this?"

She flinched at his screaming, buried her hands deep into her hair and lowering her head. Her tears burned her skin, her sobs becoming louder. She wanted him to stop. She wanted him to go away, to leave her alone. She wanted him to do anything as long as he'd stop screaming.

"Harry please," she whispered but her tearful voice was no match for his anger. He had screamed at her before many times during the years of their friendship but never had it hurt her so much as it did now. Every word coming over his lips felt like a knife being stabbed into her. The pain was terrible.

"She is a Death Eater. A follower of You-Know-Who! She has committed the most terrible crimes. She has tortured people, killed them!" Harry was just ranting at Hermione now, with no clear perception of her sadness. He didn't even notice her tears anymore. The anger and the frustration were boiling inside him. He was blinded by his own anger and hatred. "How can you even do this? You kissed her! You held her hand!"

She shook her head, desperate for him to stop. She grabbed the pillow she was holding and launched forward, hitting him so forcefully with the pillow he was nearly knocked off the bed. Harry only just managed to keep his balance and not roll of the bed but he was thrown onto his back by the force of Hermione's beating. She had no sense of her own anger. She just kept hitting him over and over and over again. He raised his hands to protect his face and his glasses from being smashed.

"Stop it!" she cried as tears streamed down her face "STOP IT!"

Harry suddenly froze under Hermione's attack; he suddenly heard the sadness in her voice and felt her tears rain down on him. He felt her anger with every blow from the pillow.

"Hermione."

Harry was out of breath and felt the weight of Hermione partially on top of him. Even though the pillow was soft the constant beating was starting to hurt. He was fighting for air, his lungs still being squashed by the blows from the pillow and Hermione's weight.

She sat up, clenching the pillow tightly against her body like she did before and crawled backwards. She didn't look at Harry, who managed to put his glasses back on his nose. Only then did he notice they were shattered. He shuffled it about on his nose, not sure whether to reach for the wand in his back pocket just in case Hermione would reach for hers. He watched how Hermione sat back by the window, the moonlight once again cherishing her hair and face. Her tears had dried but her eyes still dangerously flickered in her face.

"I'm sorry Hermione," Harry's voice was still somewhat muffled, his lungs still getting used to the freedom to breath and he took a very deep breath. His lungs expanded eagerly "I- I didn't mean to..."

"You don't get it, do you?" Hermione's eyes suddenly flashed up to meet Harry's and they pierced into his. Her voice dripped with venom. "Are you just too filled up by your own hatred to even consider that things may have changed? It is not the same world out there anymore, Harry. What matters is that I believe her. I know she isn't lying. She has tried to help us so many times. Have you ever known me to be wrong?"

Harry had to admit he had never really known Hermione to be wrong but he was becoming agitated and now reached for his wand anyway. He felt safe enough that Hermione wouldn't try to curse him straight away. He took off his glasses, muttered a soft "Occulus Reparo" and the glasses fixed themselves back to their original shape in his hands. He put them back on his nose and though the room was dark, it suddenly looked a lot brighter. "Look, I said I was sorry."

"Just saying it doesn't mean it's true, Harry. All you can do is think about your own hatred. Have you never thought about the ability in people to change? To see right from wrong and change the way they go through life? To see they have done wrong and do everything they can to do better? Bella has done things you can't even begin to understand. And she has done them for you. From whatever angle you look at it, it was always for you. But she is a different woman now," Hermione answered her voice strong and determined "And I don't care about your opinions, Harry. I don't need them. Things are hard and difficult enough as they are."

"Why did you kiss Bellatrix Lestrange?" Ron had walked into the room and flicked on the light without warning. Both Harry and Hermione raised their hands to shield their eyes before slowly letting them get used to the bright light that had now appeared. Harry glanced at his best friend. Ron's face was flushed and he wondered how long he had been standing outside the door listening. Ron's eyes were only focused on Hermione who now slowly looked up and found Ron's eyes.

"That is none of your business, Ronald Weasley. As I just explained to Harry, and I am sure you heard, there are things neither one of you seem to be capable of understanding," Hermione said. She noticed how Ron turned a bright shade of red now that she mentioned him eaves dropping but she didn't really care whether he had or hadn't. "Times are dark and hard and I can really go through life without having to put up with the grief the two of you are giving me. It is plain and simple; Bellatrix has changed. She is not the Death Eater you two think she is. And if you don't want to give her a chance to prove herself, fine. At least give me one!"

Ron and Harry shared a look of what Hermione hoped was mutual understanding. They both seemed baffled and shocked by what had happened in the past few minutes. Ron stood in the middle of the room, one hand clumsily in his pocket and the other just hanging beside his body. Harry sat on the bed, his hair messed up but his glasses fixed. Only then did Hermione notice the feathers on the bed, all over Harry and on the floor. The pillow had been torn and feathers had fallen freely; the room looked like someone had plucked a chicken.

"We mustn't argue with each other. We can only trust ourselves," Harry said and Hermione thought it was the cleverest thing he had said in a long time. He glanced carefully at Hermione. "Yet I do believe you owe us an explanation, Hermione. About you and Bellatrix."

"I owe you nothing," Hermione sneered and looked from Harry to Ron and back "What you need to understand that Bellatrix is one of our few safest options." She sighed and shook her head. "I do not wish to discuss the subject of Bellatrix Lestrange unless it is related to the search for the Horcruxes."

Hermione knew both Harry and Ron were not satisfied by that answer and she knew them well enough to know that as soon as they would find a moment alone, they would talk about it. Ron's face was a thunderstorm and she knew why. She knew what he felt for her and seeing the hurt in his eyes, though he attempted hard not to show it on his face, upset her. She had never meant to hurt anyone. She had never meant for anything like this to happen. But it did. It did happen and she had to get through this in the best way possible. If only she knew what it was she was supposed to get through and how.

"We need to break into Gringotts," Harry simply said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do. He looked at Hermione and Ron. Hermione knew better than to be stunned by his comment. Throughout this journey Harry had once again managed to amaze her by his ability to make even the most impossible thing sound like a piece of cake. His eyes found Hermione's. His next words hit her and almost knocked her to the ground. It felt hard and heavy. "And you, Hermione, will have to become Bellatrix Lestrange."

~()~

She had never felt so desperate in her life. The tears streaming down her face were ice cold yet they burned her skin. She stood shivering at the side of the lake. It wasn't the lake at Hogwarts. Things were becoming too dangerous to even consider returning there. She carefully sat down, pulling up her knees and wrapping her cloak tightly around her. The sand beneath her feet was damp. The lake was not tidal but the water had slight waves anyway. She aimed her wand at some branches right at her feet and orange sparks flew from her wand when she whispered "Incendio". The branches caught fire and within seconds the radiating heat found its way into her body.

Bellatrix felt lonely. She could still feel Hermione's lips brushing against her own and carefully let a slim finger follow the shapes of her lips, as if looking for the touch that was no longer there. She closed her eyes as a sigh escaped from her throat. She had never felt like this before in her life. Not even when she loved Lily. She didn't understand why it felt so different now. She loved Hermione. She wanted her to love her back. And she knew the younger witch did. It was the knowledge of being loved but knowing everything would be lost because of it. Hermione would lose everything and she couldn't allow the little young witch to lose her life. Yet all she wanted was to hold her so close and never let her go away.

"I could call you a fool for coming here tonight, Bella," a familiar voice said behind her and she carefully lifted up her head to meet Minerva McGonagall's eyes. She was accompanied by the Patronus owl and peered over the rim of her glasses at the black haired witch sitting by the small burning fire. She had followed the Patronus for the past half hour and it had led her straight back to Bellatrix. "You are an easy target here, out in the open."

"It is abandoned," Bellatrix defended herself weakly, averting her eyes back to the fire. "I checked. No one knows I am here but you, Professor. No one ever comes here."

"Oh but you are wrong my dear," McGonagall too sat down in the sand. It was as if the fire recognised the arrival of a second person as it magically grew bigger and its heat warmed both witches. "A lot of people come here." She paused and glanced at the younger woman sitting next to her. She saw the silent tears and she briefly put a hand on Bellatrix's arm. "It appears to be especially attractive to people who suffer from a broken heart."

"It is not broken," Bellatrix never took her eyes off the fire. "It is merely..."

"In love?" McGonagall finished the sentence for her and now Bellatrix looked up. She found the Transfiguration Professor looking at her. Her grey blue eyes sparkled friendly behind her glasses and her lips had curled up into a warm smile. She looked so much older than before but yet something about her was more youthful than ever. Maybe the riots at Hogwarts, the student attempts to overthrow the Dark forces and the knowledge of Harry being all right, made her feel younger.

Bellatrix shrugged. "I suppose you could say that."

"Then why are you crying, Bella?" McGonagall asked though she knew the answer to that question. "In these dark hours love is the force that keeps us going."

"How can I let her love me? She has a whole life ahead of herself. Things to explore and understand. She is fighting a battle of her own right now. A fight for her life. One in which there is no place for me. She is only seventeen," Bellatrix brushed the last stray tear away "Her friends don't understand. She will lose everything. And losing everything isn't worth it. Not to mention someone else loves her. Someone who is so much better for her than I can ever be. Who can offer her a future she deserves."

"Maybe, but who does she love, Bella? Who is she looking for when it comes to having a future?" Minerva asked friendly. "Hermione Granger is a young witch of unusual skill and talent, Bella. Do not forget that. All these things you have just said, she will have thought about. And she is still willing to turn to you and love you."

"Love turns us into fools of our own hearts," Bellatrix remembered the words Narcissa had spoken a while ago. Never had she felt those words to be truer than they were tonight. "What have I possibly got to offer her?"

"Your own niece married a werewolf, Bella. She is half his age and does not care about the fact he transforms when the moon is full. They just had the most beautiful baby boy who will grow up with two of the most amazing parents a child could ever wish for. Love does not know boundaries or judgement, Bella," Minerva took Bellatrix's hand into her own "You of all people should know that."

Bellatrix smiled. She had heard the story of Tonks and Lupin before. She stared back into the fire until her eyes hurt. They sat in silence for minutes, the Patronus owl in a tree above their heads. Night had fallen and the sky was filled with stars and a bright moon. She wondered whether Hermione was looking at them too. Wherever she was, they shared the same sky and the same image. If, for now, that was all they shared. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "I never thought I was capable of loving."

McGonagall shook her head. "Everybody loves, Bella."

"Do they? What if you are wrong?" Bellatrix answered and played with her wand. She aimed at the owl and the Patronus disappeared. Her voice sounded somewhat bitter. She rose to her feet, pointed her wand at the fire and whispered "Aguamenti".

A firm shot of water put out the fire and she turned around to face Minerva McGonagall. Just as she was about to speak an unexpected noise startled them. McGonagall too rose to her feet, taking her wand from her sleeve as she did so. Both witches scanned the area around them but could not locate the source of the sound.

"Go back to Hogwarts," Bellatrix whispered, never taking her eyes of some bushes only several meters away. She could feel McGonagall behind her. "If it is Death Eaters they may be kinder to me than they will be to you, Professor."

"They will kill you as quick as they'll kill me," McGonagall disagreed.

"GO!" Bellatrix urged and she quickly grasped McGonagall's hand. "Do not worry about me. I promise I will be fine. You have students to look after and riots to organise..."

Another mutter of disagreement was followed by a strong yank on Bellatrix's hand and she let go only an instant before McGonagall Dissaparated behind her and vanished. Bellatrix's eyes had never left the bushes she had been staring at. She held her wand tighter as she carefully took two steps forward. She could feel someone's presence. Someone was watching her.

"Petrificus Totalis!"

She sent her spell straight into the bushes and it was followed by a loud thud. Bellatrix froze. She had definitely hit something, or someone. She expected a curse to be fired back but nothing happened. Her heart pounded in her throat. It was so loud it sounded like a drum in the night. With careful steps she approached the bushes, still listening out for any other signs or sounds. She pushed aside the branches of the bushes, pretty much convinced no one else was here but her and whoever she had just stunned. When she finally made her way through the bushes she found the body on the floor.

Her mouth dropped and she fiddled with her wand for a minute as she tried to work out what to do next. At her feet lay the stunned body of her niece Nymphadora Tonks. Her eyes were still wide open and her wand was still stuck in her hand. Her hair was bright bubble gum pink and her eyes deep brown. For a second Bellatrix felt the urge to just turn around and walk away. The Order didn't know about the changes and how could she possibly make them understand and see what had happened? But her heart won over her mind and the risk was worth taking. If she could persuade them to listen to her she wouldn't have to work in secret anymore. But most of all Tonks was family. She was part of the Order. She was fighting Voldemort just as much as she was. But most of all, Tonks cared about Hermione and her friends too.

Her hands were shaking as she aimed her wand at her niece. "Finite Incantatem".

There was a bright flash of light and the next second Nymphadora Tonks sat up, rubbing the back of her head and glancing around with a confused look in her eyes. Then she suddenly caught sight of the dark haired witch standing over her. She had lowered her wand but her face was puzzled. Tonks crawled back up, her legs still feeling a little shaky and once she was standing up she looked at Bellatrix.

"You are probably wondering why I am not cursing you right here, right now," Tonks said with a smile. A smile that was genuine and real and confused Bellatrix even more. "There is a lot that needs to be explained, aunt Bellatrix." She reached out her arm as she noticed the puzzled expression on the other woman's face. "We can't stay here. It is not safe. Come with me."

And Bellatrix grabbed Tonks' arm. She had no idea where they were going or what was going on but she was dragged into the darkness as she and Tonks Dissaparated into the night.  
When she reopened her eyes they were standing by a small gate, with behind it a house. The garden was neatly organised with a vegetable plant in the corner and even something that appeared to be a small fountain. The gate appeared to have been reasonably fixed and painted. The house looked like any other normal, ordinary house but Bellatrix knew it wasn't. This place had known and seen magic. She could feel the protective spells around it and she wondered whether she would be able to penetrate.

"Where are we?" she whispered as she tried to keep up with Tonks who was marching towards the house. She had so many questions. Tonks turned around and gestured to the house. Her smile was broad and wide.

"My parents' house."

Bellatrix froze at the entrance of the gate and just stared at the house. She had never been so terrified in her life. She was unsure whether she wanted to walk into that house. Whether she could. Clearly the magic had let her through but it wasn't the magic that worried her. It was the pain she was going to feel. She watched Tonks open the front door and disappear inside. She had left the door open and very carefully she walked down the path and climbed the two steps leading to the front door. She closed her eyes and stepped through the doorway.


	12. The Reunion Of All Things Good

_All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered;__  
the point is to discover them.__  
Galileo Galilei_

* * *

She had fought her way out of the water, gasping for air and feeling adrenaline rush through her body. She climbed onto the shore, closely followed by Ron and Harry. All three of them were still gasping for air and coughing up water. The landing into the water had been everything but comfortable and had caught them off guard. Water had found its way into her lungs and Hermione was still coughing to get rid of the tickling feeling it caused. They were soaking wet. Their clothes were dripping with water and made them several times heavier which did not help in the attempts to reach the shore. Once they had finally made it onto land they let themselves fall onto their backs as their chests were still heavily panting.

Hermione looked at her burned hands before carefully glancing at Ron and Harry. They both still lay with their eyes closed. She couldn't. The events flashed before her eyes. Their break into Gringotts had been a success yet it had not been without dangers or without battle. They had to fight their way through goblins, spells and other dangers before finally finding that one important thing. They had obtained the Horcrux they were so desperately looking for. The cup. But it had come with a price. They were covered in burns and bruises and had now ended up in the middle of nowhere after slipping off the back of a dragon.

But most of all Hermione remembered being Bellatrix; physically being her. She had stared at herself in the mirror for minutes as she got dressed after the transformation had completed; the thick black curls and heavy eyelids, the intense charcoal eyes, and porcelain skin. Seeing the reflection stare back at her had started something inside her. It had made her hurt. And even though she was now herself once again, the hurt had never stopped. She still remembered the image in the mirror.

As she slowly closed her eyes she remembered both Harry and Ron describing the feeling of being in love and snogging someone. They had been nothing more than giggling teenagers, back at Hogwarts. Those times seemed to be so far away right at this moment. Love felt nothing like what they had described to her or what she had read in books. It made her hurt so terribly inside, long so strongly for the only person she couldn't have right now. It had caused a fight between her and her best friends and had broken one of their hearts. Was love really supposed to feel like this?

"Hermione?" Harry whispered suddenly and her eyes flew open. He was hovering over her but backed off now that she opened her eyes. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking," Hermione mumbled and averted her eyes. On her other side Ron stirred too and he sat up as well. Next she could see his ginger wet hair hovering over her as he was inspecting her. "What is it, Ronald?"

"You have burns all over your face," Ron said as he reached out a hand but she flinched and he pulled back. "They look quite nasty."

"Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?" Hermione asked directly and raised her eyebrows "You don't look much better yourself." She let her eyes wander across the rest of her body. Parts of her clothes had burned away and only now did she become aware of the physical pain she felt. But somehow it felt strangely liberating. The physical pain took the thoughts away from the pain in her heart and she sat up. For these few moments the thoughts of Bellatrix were stored in the furthest corner of her mind.

They sat for hours, with protective spells around them, as they drank the pumpkin juice Hermione had taken from Shell Cottage and talked about the cup that was the next Horcrux. They had lost the sword in attempt to obtain it, much to Harry's frustration. At several times during their conversation Hermione found herself being distracted from what Harry and Ron were talking about as her eyes drifted over the water and she could swear she could feel the warm breath in the back of her neck. She closed her eyes, running her fingers through her still damp hair and the image of Bellatrix slowly became stronger and more vivid. The pain became too much to bear and she opened her eyes only to find Harry and Ron stare at her.

"I thought Harry was the one with the visions?" Ron asked stupidly and Hermione threw him a dangerous look before glancing at Harry. He had been wise enough to ignore it. But Harry did look at her and she knew he knew what she had been thinking about. She turned away.

Darkness fell quickly. Hours faded as Harry had a vision about the Dark Lord and his anger over the cup being taken. Their plans unfolded quickly after that. They had to go back to Hogwarts to look for the Horcruxes. It was almost like their journey would end there. Hermione didn't know why but somehow the returning to Hogwarts felt like a full circle. She wasn't sure whether the others felt it too but returning to the castle that had been at the root of their friendship was like returning to the place where it had all begun. It was the place where it was all to end.

~()~

Bellatrix carefully opened her eyes after seconds of standing in the doorway without moving. She looked around. There was no sign of Tonks but she could hear muffled voices down the hall. Carefully she closed the door behind her. It fell into its lock with a soft click. Her boots echoed on the dark wooden floor as she followed the voices, eventually making her way down a short hallway and into what turned out to be the living room. She held still in the open door as her eyes wandered from each person to the next.

A fair haired and somewhat big bellied man with friendly eyes sat in an arm chair by the fire. He did not appear to be uncomfortable in any way, judging from his calm and relaxed body posture. Beside him on the armrest of his chair sat Tonks. She smiled. Bellatrix's eyes slowly drifted to the other side of the room and she nearly choked on her breath. Her heart skipped a beat and she grabbed the doorpost with both her hands at the sight of the woman in the other arm chair.

"Dromeda," she whispered as she laid eyes upon her sister for the first time in more than twenty years. It was probably more than twenty years but she could not remember. Tears welled up in her eyes, burning as they found their way down her face. Her hands were shaking. Her younger sister had not changed. Her hair was still as shiny but a lot lighter than her own. A soft coffee shade of brown. Her eyes were not as heavy lidded and not as dark but the physical resemblance between the two of them had never ceased to exist. Not even fourteen years in Azkaban had changed that. Her sister sat in the yellowish light of the fire, her skin not quite as pale as her own.

"Bella."

It was Andromeda who stood up and carefully made her way through the small living room, approaching her older sister. From over her sister's shoulder Bellatrix watched as Tonks and her father shared a look before curiously looking at the reunion between the two sisters. Andromeda stood still, only inches away from her sister. Bellatrix looked into her sister's eyes. As she did so she was once again reminded of the difference between the two of them and Narcissa, who had taken so much more after their mother. She was unsure what to expect but feeling her sister's arms around her as she pulled her into an embrace was not what she had been thinking.

"I can't believe you are really here," Andromeda whispered into Bellatrix's ear though her words got almost lost in the thick black curls. Bellatrix felt her sister's tears drip into her hair and down her skin. "It feels so good to finally hold you again, Bella."

Bellatrix closed her eyes, the tears now freely falling from her eyes as she pressed her younger sister tighter against her body. She rested her head on her shoulder, partially buried in the brown curls. She had forgotten the hugs she and Andromeda used to share. Narcissa had never been one for hugs but Andromeda always had plenty to spare. She never wished to let go again.

"There is so much I want to say," Bellatrix whispered "So many things you need to understand."

"There is so much you need to understand too," Andromeda whispers as she carefully let go off her sister and brushed one of those black curls out of her face "You look pale. When was the last time you ate something?"

"What day is it?" Bellatrix answered and when Tonks answered it was Wednesday she pulled a face. "Almost 48 hours ago. I have managed to eat some berries and mushrooms but haven't really eaten for almost two days."

Suddenly she felt the weakness. She had not paid attention to her body's signals but suddenly she felt tired, exhausted and extremely hungry. She found her sister's eyes and Andromeda just nodded. She still read her older sister like a book. Not even twenty years of separation could undo the instant connection between them.

"Ok, let's get you a shower and some well-deserved sleep while I cook you a meal," Andromeda said and at that same time from somewhere in the house came the crying of a baby. Tonks jumped to her feet and ran out of the room. Minutes later she reappeared, carrying a bundle of blankets. She approached Bellatrix carefully and when Bellatrix peered into the bundle she found the most perfect and beautiful baby boy looking back at her. The crying stopped almost straight away. He had the most beautiful blue eyes and bright blonde hair.

"Meet Teddy Lupin," Tonks whispered as she pushed the baby into Bellatrix's arms. She shivered as she took over the baby. The little boy lay peacefully in her arms, quite at ease with the appearance of this black haired woman. He just stared up at her, inquisitive. Bellatrix could not remember the last time she had held a baby. She never really held Draco when he was born. She was too busy fulfilling the Dark Lord's evil wishes. And now, here in her arms, lay the pure innocence of a child that was brought into this world by pure love. It had been born on the eve of the war between right and wrong, darkness and light. Good and evil. As Bellatrix looked down at little Teddy she promised herself, and him, that the world would change. The world would be a better place; a place in which evil existed no more.

"He is beautiful," Bellatrix whispered as she carefully passed Teddy back to Tonks and then glanced at her sister who was waiting for her in the doorway. She thankfully followed her. They made their way through the house and up the stairs in silence. Andromeda showed her the bathroom and then a bedroom where she could get some sleep. Sleeping in a bed had been a luxury she had not had for a long time, since she left her house in Godric's Hollow.

"Take as long as you need, Bella," Andromeda whispered and took Bellatrix's hand briefly into her own "Try not to worry too much. When you wake up, we'll explain everything."

Bellatrix nodded thankfully before stepping into the bathroom and stripping herself from her dress. She looked down her own naked body. It showed the signs of travelling. She was bruised, had lost weight and her skin was definitely ready for a good clean. She turned on the shower and stepped under the hot flow of water. It rained down on her like a waterfall. Her muscles relaxed under the hot water and she finally was able to relax. She closed her eyes as her tears laced with the water.

The water washed her clean, washing away the muck and the dirt that had gathered and which she had not managed to clean with her magic. She washed her black curls and soaped down her bruised skin. When she stepped out of the shower she felt cleaner than she had done in months. She found a towel lying ready for her. With it safely wrapped around her body she walked back to the bedroom Andromeda had pointed out to her. On the bed lay a clean, fresh dress and something to sleep in. Bellatrix dropped her towel and slipped into the pyjamas her sister had left and climbed into the bed.

She thought she wouldn't be able to sleep but as soon as her head hit the pillow she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

~()~

She had no idea how long she had been asleep. She opened her eyes as a lovely smell of food penetrated her nose. She sat up as her mind tried to work out where she was. It was still dark outside but she then slowly started to remember what had happened. She slipped out of bed and changed into the dress that was waiting for her. She brushed her hair and carefully made her way down the stairs. She walked back into the living room and found Ted Tonks and his daughter playing with little Teddy on the rug by the fire.

"Sleep well?" Andromeda asked from behind her and she turned, smiling rather shy.

"Yes as if by magic." Bellatrix smiled.

"Come on, eat something," Andromeda said and she followed her sister to the kitchen after throwing a final glance at her niece and her dad and the little baby on the ground. Andromeda sat her down at the large family table and food almost seemed to appear out of nowhere. Bellatrix filled up her plate and ate in silence; very much aware of the fact her sister was watching her. For the first time, being watched as she ate, she did feel uncomfortable. Ted and Tonks walked into the kitchen as well, with Tonks quickly grabbing some chicken and nibbling on it as she sat down next to her aunt. Her dad held little Teddy and she glanced from her mom to her dad and back before glancing at Bellatrix.

"I think she deserves to know now," Tonks said and with the flick of her wand she made several bottles of Butterbeer appear. Her parents sat down at the table, after serving themselves some food. The atmosphere was warm, homely and welcoming. Bellatrix's eyes wandered around the table and she could not quite understand how all of this has happened, or why.

"Why were you at the lake tonight?" Bellatrix asked as she gulped down some of the Butterbeer. She had missed the flavour or real food and drink. She had almost forgotten what it tasted like. She curiously looked at her sister, her brother in law and her niece. Something was hanging in the air, something she couldn't quite figure out. But she knew it was important.

"Mission for the Order," Tonks answered as she put down her Butterbeer. She smiled. "It didn't remain unnoticed that Dumbledore, and after his death, McGonagall sometimes disappeared during the night but no one seemed to quite understand what was going on. We suspected they were meeting someone during those little disappearances so we decided to start trying to find out what was going on. I must admit that we thought it was a lot worse. We thought You-Know-Who had managed to Imperius them and they were giving him information. We missed the first few meetings and then..."

"Then you found out it wasn't You-Know-Who at all, but some lost Death Eater with a change of heart," Bellatrix joked and she smiled. Across the table she caught Andromeda's eyes and she saw how her sister smiled too. Her heart was glowing in emptiness. "I bet the first time you saw me was still enough to spook the hell out of the Order though?"

"It was Remus who saw you first. First he thought something was wrong but he quickly realized what had happened. When he informed the Order people became quite excited, I must say. A Death Eater had joined our camp. The last two meetings it was me," Tonks paused and glanced at her mother. "I-I was too distracted to realize you had heard me. I am not always known for my skill, as I have proven once again."

"Where have you been, Bella? We heard you were travelling, trying to find Harry Potter," Andromeda said and Bellatrix sighed. She relived her journeys in her mind before starting to speak. Before her eyes once again unfolded the scenes that had taken place at Malfoy Manor several weeks ago. The image of Hermione brought a soft smile to her face.

"When Dumbledore died, I knew I couldn't stay where I was. When I learnt Harry and his friends were on the run, I felt I had to do something. I tried to keep up with them. But it was hard. They kept moving. I lost track of them several times. I went to Hogwarts, trying to get or give information. I even went back to Malfoy Manor several times. I knew it was dangerous and it was on one of those nights I found they had been captured. Hermione was tortured." Tonks' face saddened and Bellatrix realized Tonks knew Hermione, Harry and Ron. "They managed to escape and eventually I found them at the coast, at the cottage of Ron's brother. They stayed there for a while. Hermione..." The mere mention of Hermione's name brought tears to her eyes. "...Had to regain her strength. I can only assume they are still there."

Tonks shook her head. "Rumours tell me they are not. Rumour has it they have broken into Gringotts only hours ago." She met Bellatrix's eyes. "They broke into one of the vaults. Your vault to be precise." When she saw Bellatrix's puzzled look she continued. "I am unsure if, or what, they took. I know they are following Dumbledore's last wish so whatever they did, is connected to him and to the possible destruction of You-Know-Who. Have you got any idea?"

Suddenly Bellatrix's eyes lit up. She remembered something Voldemort had given her so many years ago. He had ordered her to keep it safe, keep it locked away in her vault for no one to be found.

"I think I know. Years ago the Dark Lord gave me an item to keep in my vault. I was never to mention it to anyone, nor was I ever to touch or remove it. It simply had to be there. I wonder if that's what they went to try and get Hufflepuff's Cup."

"What would they need that for?" Tonks didn't hide her enthusiasm or curiosity and stared at Bellatrix.

"I-I have no idea" Bellatrix sighed, feeling somewhat lost as she knew how hard it must have been to enter her vault. The spells, curses and other protections were put well in place, especially after the Dark Lord's addition. "If they have managed to escape, I have no idea where they are now. They must have made it out safe. It will take time for me to track them down. There must be a reason why they were looking for that cup." She paused and frowned. "They could have asked me. I would have gotten it for them." She hesitated. "Then again, Harry and Ron are not my biggest fan."

"What? Why? Don't they understand what you have risked for them?" Andromeda exclaimed on the opposite end of the table and Bellatrix smiled at her sister's defensiveness.

"I don't think they quite do. Not yet. But it is more complicated than that," Bellatrix said but did not touch the subject of Hermione. She gulped down some more Butterbeer but saw how her niece curiously looked at her. "Does the rest of the Order know about what's been happening?"

"Yes, and they are all very welcoming of you. They will know by now I found you tonight and that you are here. I am expecting Molly and Arthur to come round tomorrow tea time. I think they will want to know how their son is doing," Ted answered and he looked at Bellatrix's empty plate. She hadn't left a single scrap of food and she looked thoroughly full. "I suggest we all go back to bed for a few hours, try to get some sleep and wait for morning to come. Tomorrow is a new days and when the Weasley's get here we might be able to make some concrete plans about how to act next."

With a flick of Andromeda's wand the plates all disappeared in the sink and they were magically washed up. Bellatrix just sat and watched her sister. It was amazing how many years had gone past and she now sat here, as if she had done it every week. Tonks said she would spend the night as Remus was on watch for the Order tonight and her parents' house was one of the safest places at the moment. She picked up little Teddy from her dad before going upstairs. Ted followed quickly, leaving the two sisters in the kitchen alone.

"I know what you are going to ask me, Dromeda," Bellatrix whispered as she stood up from her seat. Andromeda was standing by the kitchen window, looking outside. "Narcissa is all right. Well, as far as you can be all right in these times being a Death Eater's wife. A Death Eater who isn't very popular with the Dark Lord either. But she is all right. She has protected me all this time. She knows I left but she never spoke a word. She is too worried about her own family. But she does not have the courage to leave."

"Dora says she has a son. Some prat named Draco who has been causing trouble since the day he set food in Hogwarts. Arch enemy of the Potter boy. Dora said he was originally meant to be the one to kill poor Albus." Andromeda turned around and looked at her older sister. She was amazed by her beauty. She didn't know what she'd expected but seeing Bellatrix in almost the same beauty as when she was still at Hogwarts was simply breath taking. "What was it like, Bella? Living that life?"

Bellatrix swallowed. She had expected that question but finding an answer wasn't easy. She slightly frowned. "I cannot deny it gave me things I never had. It gave me control, but not in the way I had always desired it. I still had no control over my own life. Looking back I understand I did manage to vent a lot of my anger that way. I put my personal anger in my actions." She paused. She knew Andromeda understood what she meant. "But I don't know, when I look back on it, it doesn't seem worth it. I spend fourteen years of my life in a rotten hell hole because of the Dark Lord. And for what?"

"I never believed you were simply bad. No matter what people would say about you. Or about Narcissa. I knew you. I thought I knew you. And when the rumours started going around that you had deserted You-Know-Who, I knew I had been right," Andromeda whispered and tears silently rolled down her cheeks. "Did you ever think of me while you were out there?"

"I did," Bellatrix whispered, now closing the space between her and her sister and wrapped her arms around her. It wasn't a lie. Even though she had attempted to forget she ever had another sister, she never could. She had thought about Andromeda often, sometimes wondering what had become of her. "I did. And many days I wished I had the courage you showed by running away. But I wasn't as strong as you and let myself be deceived into the darkness." She kissed her sister on her hair.

"You did show courage, Bella. You ran away eventually. And maybe these days it is way harder than it was before. But you did it. You risked everything for the good," Andromeda sobbed softly, her shoulders shrugged as she cried. "I never thought I'd see you again. No matter what you were, I still loved you. You are my sister."

Bellatrix buried her face in her sister's hair. Her heart shattered in her chest as she thought about Narcissa, who was now all alone in the darkness as the two of them stood in the light. "I always loved you, Dromeda. We must not give up on Cissy. We must never give up. There is always hope."

Andromeda nodded. Her voice was just a whisper. "Come on Bella, we should try and get some sleep."

The two of them climbed the stairs together and said goodnight on the landing. Tonks stuck her head around the door to say goodnight too before Bellatrix made her way to the room she had slept in earlier. She slipped out of the dress she was wearing and back into the pyjama's she wore before. She pulled back the covers and climbed into the bed. The bed was right under the window and she sat up, staring outside. Morning was approaching. In the distance the sun was rising over the horizon. Slowly the darkness fades as it was chased away by the rays of sun.

Teddy's cries echoed through the house and Bellatrix climbed off the bed. She met Tonks on the landing as she was cradling her son who didn't appear to want to go to sleep. Tonks looked quite desperate. But at the sight of Bellatrix the baby stopped crying almost immediately. Bellatrix looked up to Tonks. She saw the rings under her eyes. It was obvious she could do with a few hours of well-deserved sleep. "

Want me to take him for a while? You try and get some sleep."

With a grateful smile Tonks passed Teddy over to Bellatrix. "I think he senses when his father isn't here," she said sadly and glanced at Bellatrix "But he seems to warm to you just as much" She smiled and Bellatrix smiled too. "Goodnight."

She returned to her room and Bellatrix took Teddy into her own room. She sat back on the bed, by the window, cradling the baby safely in her arms. Little Teddy lay happily sucking one of his fingers as his other hand tried to grab one of her curls. It didn't take long before he finally fell into a deep, sound sleep. And Bellatrix sat, with the baby asleep in her arms, and watched as the sun came up over the hills.


	13. The Beginning Of The Battle

_Tomorrow, you promise yourself,__  
you will be different,__  
yet tomorrow is too often__  
a repetition of today__  
~James T. McKay_

* * *

Hermione watched the sun come up over the hills in the distance. She had seen many sun rises in her life and during this extraordinary journey but somehow something was different about this one. Harry and Ron were still asleep. She had a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach as she watched the sun rise over the horizon. The sky was filled with thin layers of mist but not the threatening, grey mists produced by Dementors that had been haunting them what felt like forever. She had been awake for a while, at first watching the stars.

She could not stop thinking about Bellatrix. After their escape from Gringotts she had realized Bellatrix would struggle to find her. She had not seen her since the evening at Shell Cottage. And she missed her. She missed her desperately. Harry and Ron had carefully ignored mentioning anything connected to Bellatrix though Hermione knew they had been talking when they thought she wasn't listening, mostly during the night when they thought she was asleep. Sometimes the conversation would just drop dead when she would reappear after looking for food.

Ron had been the one to spill his feelings first during one late night conversation with Harry when he believed Hermione to be asleep. "I mean, I had never expected her and me to be an item of such, and she is free to fancy whoever she wants but why Bellatrix? And why couldn't she just tell us?"

Harry had responded, his voice a whisper. He wasn't so sure Hermione was asleep. "I don't know, Ron. I don't understand what's going on in her head and I am not sure what to think about Bellatrix or about Hermione for that matter. But we do not have time focus on that now. We need to destroy the Horcruxes."

Hermione ran her hands through her hair as she remembered that conversation. It had broken her heart to hear her friends talk about her that way. She felt alone, terribly alone. The thoughts and questions just kept running through her head. She glanced over her shoulder, where her friends were still soundly asleep. Harry had the Cup. She knew it was all worth it. They had to destroy Voldemort. But as the days past and the questions just kept rising and the tension between her, Ron and Harry increased the thoughts about the safety and warmth of home kept creeping up on her. Wherever home was at the moment...

Bellatrix was the spill of her thoughts. She had never thought she'd even consider the thought of leaving Harry and Ron but she could no longer deny she did think about it. It was a secret desire inside her, just like so many other things. But she remembered what Ron's departure had done. Though somehow she didn't think it would have the same impact on Harry and Ron if she left.

The desire grew stronger and she closed her eyes, fighting off the emotions she felt rising inside. The desire to just stand up and Disapparate was overpowering. Very carefully she rose to her feet. She still had her eyes closed. Bellatrix's face flashed before her eyes, smiling. Her heart was racing in her chest. Just as she stood up and had reached for her wand a hand closed around her wrist. She spun around and found Harry standing behind her, staring at her with questioning eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asked carefully, lowering his eyes to her wand and Hermione removed her hand. Harry looked back up and his eyes pierced into hers.

"I-I need to blow off some steam," Hermione whispered through her teeth. Tears were stinging behind her eyes. She wanted to look away from Harry but was simply too tired. She was ready to break. She didn't know how much longer she could stand the way Harry and Ron treated her or how not being able to see Bellatrix broke her heart "I have no idea what else to do."

"Hermione," Harry said and shook his head. He could see her desperation, her sadness and her tears even though she didn't want him to. "What's wrong?"

Hermione thought it was an obvious question to ask but then she realized both he and Ron had the emotional range of a teaspoon. She rolled her eyes. "Have you even realized that you and Ron have been treating me as some sort of outcast? You guys barely talk to me!"

"What is it with Bellatrix Lestrange that gets you so upset?" Harry suddenly interrupted her. He let go of her wrist and she turned away from him. She sighed. A lost tear rolled down her face.

She wanted to tell him. She needed to tell someone. Feeling this way was driving her mental. She couldn't take anymore. She turned back and looked at him. He saw her tears. She used the words she knew he would understand. She would have to make it about him. "Do you miss Ginny, Harry? Do you remember what it felt like, last year, not to be able have her when she was seeing Dean? Do you remember that pain, that frustration? Do you miss her now?"

"I miss her a lot," Harry whispered, confused by Hermione's questions and suddenly confronted by his own emotions. Hermione knew he wasn't lying. She had heard him whisper her name when he was asleep. She knew he thought about Ginny during many moments when his eyes glazed over and he would stare at the sunset. During those moments he too longed for the safety and security of home. "I wish I could be with her but this journey keeps us apart. I wish I could go home and just be with her." He paused and suddenly the pieces fell together. "You feel the same, don't you?"

Hermione nodded. She knew that Harry would understand if she would confront him with Ginny. "Yes, I do. I wish I could turn around now and just have a chance to try and have something beautiful, for once in my life," she whispered and swallowed. "Listen, I know you and Ron don't understand what I see in Bellatrix. I don't quite understand it myself. I am not even sure what it is, or what to call it. Let alone know how to deal with it. But it is hard enough dealing with it without having to worry about you and Ron. All I know is that it has happened and I feel this way. I cannot change it."

"Are you in love with her?" Harry asked carefully and Hermione captured his eyes.

"As much as you are in love with Ginny," she whispered, feeling something finally being released inside her. It was the freedom of finally being able to show her true feelings. She sighed, feeling relieved but then her eyes narrowed and she unexpectedly spun around. Ron had woken up behind them and he stared at her as if he saw water burn. Hermione shook her head but he looked from her to Harry and back before standing up. He walked over to them but did not make eye contact. He stood next to Harry and then turned to look at his best friend. He ignored Hermione completely.

"So, what are we doing next?" he asked carelessly.

Hermione just stared at him in shock. She couldn't believe he just completely ignored her. She knew he was a complete idiot at times but she never believed his stupidity would be reaching these levels. He was being a total git. She drew her wand, causing both Ron and Harry to flinch in fear and turned around. She left the two boys where they were and headed off into the distance. She aimed her wand at trees and bushes, casting random curses and jinxes to relief her anger. The anger was eating her up inside, the pain was ripping her heart apart. Her curses were destructive; shattering trees, rocks and plants and casting bright flashes into the sky. Tears streamed down her face as she cast another "Reducto" at a tree. The wood split, leaves came falling down. A second "Reducto" hit the same tree, causing the wood to split further and eventually, with a terribly loud cracking noise the tree crashed to the ground. A cloud of dust and sand blocked her sight for a few seconds and when it cleared up she could see Harry running towards her.

"Hermione?" he called, seeing the cloud of dust. As it cleared up he saw her standing beside the falling tree. She still had her wand at the ready and he reached for the wand in his pocket. Just in case he needed a protective spell against her anger. "Listen, I told Ron is a complete idiot for behaving that way!" Hermione was unsure whether to believe him but she could imagine Harry telling him so, in very clear words. "You can't blame him Hermione. He is upset. He doesn't know what to think!"

"Whatever he thinks, he'd better keep it to himself!" Hermione shouted and aimed her wand at the fallen tree. She cast another "Reducto" and the wood split once more. Splinters were flying around and Harry covered his face from the flying wood. "Who does he think he is? Does he really think he is the only one whose feelings were hurt? Does he really believe he is the only ones with feelings at all? How can he be so selfish as to think it is just about him?" Hermione cried.

"Because he doesn't understand what you can possibly feel for a woman who used to be a Death Eater, a murderer, for You-Know-Who!" Ron suddenly said. He had appeared out of nowhere and Hermione spun around in shock. Her eyes still flickered dangerously in anger and there was no sign of her calming down. "I don't understand, Hermione. But I see you are hurt. I see you are suffering. And I am sorry for being such a git, Hermione. And I promise, I will try to do better."

"Good," Hermione spat at him with a hissing voice and before either of the boys could say something she turned around and ran off. Harry and Ron were left baffled and shocked but then followed her quietly as today was the day they would go to Hogwarts. Today was the day everything was going to start. Today was the beginning of the end.

~()~

Bellatrix sat in the garden of the Tonks' residence. The others were all inside, all preparing lunch. It was quiet outside. The house was the only one in the area and there was no sign of any other people around. In the distance sang a soft choir of birds some soft summer tune. Only a few little white clouds were visible in the bright blue sky. The sun was shining down at her and she felt comfortable and relaxed. She was wearing one of Andromeda's dresses and the light blue silk material fitted around her body just perfectly. The front door opened and closed behind her and Bellatrix glanced over her shoulder to see who was coming. Tonks came walking over to her and then sat down next to her.

"I wanted to talk to you but I don't want to do it in front of mom and dad," Tonks said with a soft voice and caught Bellatrix's eyes "It was something you said last night. Something about Harry and Ron not being your biggest fan but Hermione was different. I saw the way you looked. And I recognised that look. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Bellatrix lied but it was a poor lie. She knew Tonks would see through her straight away and she averted her eyes and looked at her hands that lay folded in her lap. She sighed as she tried to bring up the words that could describe what was going on between her and Hermione. "It is just complicated."

"You and Hermione Granger? Yes, I can see why that would be considered complicated," Tonks pointed out the situation straight away and Bellatrix's eyes flashed straight back up to meet the eyes of her niece "Don't look at me as if I wouldn't understand or, even how I could possibly see that's how you feel, aunt Bella. I loved Remus for a long time before he finally was willing to accept the fact we had a possible future together. He said he was too old, too poor, too scruffy and not to mention a werewolf. What did a lovely young witch with a whole future ahead want with him? I wanted that future _with _him. It took the attack on Bill Weasley and the death of Dumbledore to make him see."

"This is different, Dora," Bellatrix whispered and sighed. The idea of someone having to die before she and Hermione could ever have a future brought a chill to her bones. The thought of Hermione made her both happy and sad. "Neither you nor Remus risked losing everything. You knew your parents would stand beside you. Dromeda has never been one to cast out her family. Hermione has got everything to lose. She can lose her friends, her family, just for loving me. No one will ever accept me. I cannot let her love me. She deserves so much better in life."

Tonks raised an eyebrow and grinned. "The Hermione Granger I know will not have accepted that comment, now did she?" Bellatrix shook her head. "I thought so. Listen aunt Bella, this may sound very odd coming from me but you really have to give her a chance. She is seventeen. She is old enough to make her own choices, and therefore her own mistakes. If she has chosen you, and I know you love her, yes I have seen the way your eyes light up. My mum's eyes light up like that every time she looks at my dad; you really need to give her a chance, and not just her but also yourself."

Bellatrix shook her head. "Who am I to deserve anything?"

"After what you have done in the past year and a half? You deserve more than some other people out there at the moment!" Tonks said firmly and took Bellatrix's hand into her own. "Just never forget that."

Bellatrix glanced over Tonks' shoulder at nothing in particular. She had no idea where Hermione was. She had questioned Tonks' dad about anything he had heard but there was no news about Harry Potter or his friends. Just as she was about to speak again they were disturbed by voices coming from down the road. Tonks immediately jumped to her feet and Bellatrix did the same, taking her wand from her sleeve as she did so. It took only seconds for the voices to become people and she recognised Molly and Arthur Weasley.

Tonks welcomed them after a routine of questions and other safety protocols that had been put in place. Bellatrix carefully stayed in the background, watching the red haired man and woman. She could see where their son Ron had gotten his features from. He looked both like his mom and dad. When Tonks had greeted them she looked over her shoulder and gestured Bellatrix to approach. Bellatrix carefully strode over the grass, not sure whether to look up or down. She held still beside Tonks.

"Bellatrix," Molly Weasley said and completely unexpected she pulled Bellatrix into a warm embrace and pressed her against her rather voluptuous chest. Bellatrix felt all the air being almost squashed out of her lungs but there was something warm and comforting about the embrace and she closed her eyes as her head rested on Molly's shoulder.

When Molly eventually let go, Arthur shook her hand before glancing at his wife and almost immediately popping their most important question. "I do not wish to seem inconsiderate but you are the last one to have seen our son lately. How is he doing?"

Bellatrix smiled when she remembered how she had seen Ron Weasley right before she left them that night at Shell Cottage. She would not mention the emotions and the stress. She told them what she knew and what she had seen during the time she followed him and his friends.

"He is doing quite well. Maybe not as well fed as he could be but food is hard to come by when you are travelling all around the country. They have endured some heavy storms and have travelled around the country." She paused before meeting Molly's eyes. "He is a brave young man. You can be proud of him. You should be proud. He has done some extraordinary things."

Molly's eyes had filled with tears and took Bellatrix by an arm, leading her into the house. They were greeted by the lovely smell of roast meat, vegetables, potatoes and pie. Andromeda and Ted were both in the kitchen and greeted their visitors warmly before everybody sat themselves down at the table with bottles of Butterbeer and pumpkin juice. Little Teddy was being passed from lap to lap but mostly seemed to enjoy the black curls that belonged to Bellatrix. And as hours passed Bellatrix began to feel part of a family, for the first time in her life.

~()~

It was late. Outside the sky had gone dark and the stars were sparking in the sky like untouchable diamonds. The dinner plates had been magically cleaned and stood neatly piled on the kitchen top. Every sign of recent cooking activity had disappeared. Remus had come home two hours ago and had put his happily smiling son to bed before joining the others at the table. They now sat around the candle lit wooden table, with bottles of Butterbeer in their hands, discussing the latest news that Remus had brought home with him. Bellatrix had let her eyes wander around the table several times, looking at the group of people present tonight. She had caught her sister's eyes as she did so and her heart began to glow. Yet she could not stop wishing, and thinking, she wanted Hermione to be here.

All of a sudden an unexpected noise came from outside the house. Everybody reached for their wands automatically and they rose as one group. Bellatrix had realized the noise had come from just outside the kitchen window and was the first one to carefully head over. She peered outside and her mouth dropped. "It's a Patronus!"

"What is it?" Remus asked from behind her, hoping he would be able to recognise the sender by the shape of the Patronus.

"It's a lynx!" Bellatrix answered as she watched the Patronus anxiously looking for a way into the house. The big cat once again looked up to the kitchen window. Behind her the others stirred and Molly whispered something to Arthur she couldn't quite hear.

"That's Kingsley!" Tonks cried out and she too ran over to the window, opening it immediately. With one strong jump the Patronus leapt through the kitchen window and gracefully landed on the kitchen top. Bellatrix knew this wasn't going to be good. She had send her Patronus to inform McGonagall and Hermione had send hers to send a message. This Patronus was here to pass on information and it didn't look good. Around her the others closed in and she could see the anxiety and fear in their eyes. Someone reached for her hand and when she looked to see who it was, she met Andromeda's eyes. She squeezed her hand and held her breath as she waited anxiously.

The lynx's mouth opened and Bellatrix heard a deep voice that the others recognised as Kingsley Shacklebolt. "You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters have invaded Hogwarts. Harry Potter is there with his friends. A fight has broken out. The ultimate Battle for Hogwarts has started. Minerva has mobilized Hogwarts but she is requesting help. The Final Battle has begun!"

The lynx disappeared through the window and vanished into the night, leaving the people who had just received the message stunned and shocked. The final fortress of safety had fallen. The room was dead quiet for seconds before people quickly started moving. Bellatrix was first at the door, yanking it open to run outside and Disapparate, her wand clutched tightly in her hand. Tonks grabbed her arm and she spun around. Tonks' voice was desperate and filled with emotion. "No! You can't go! The other you is there! If they see you, they will kill you!"

Bellatrix took the phial of Polyjuice Potion she had treasured all this time from her pocket, put it against her lips and drank the disgusting liquid. As she felt her body beginning to transform internally she looked at Tonks. Her voice had changed and she did not recognise herself.

"If it is my night to die, I shall die. Please tell Hermione this is me. Make sure she knows. Make sure she sees and understands." She swallowed and pierced her now unfamiliar eyes into Tonks. "If I die tonight then tell her I love her."

Her body had now completely transformed into that of a teenage girl around the age of seventeen in a black Gryffindor robe with long red curly hair and big blue eyes. Tonks watched in amazement and somewhat amused at Bellatrix's transformation and suddenly realized this had been something Bellatrix had planned all along. The moment she was needed most, or she felt she was needed most, she would risk her own life to safe those who were in danger. She grabbed her aunt's arm without question and the two of them turned on the spot as beside them Remus, Arthur and Molly also Dissaparated on their way to Hogwarts.

Whatever happened tonight would be the final answer. Tonight would be the end of everything like they had known it. Only the answer as to what that end would be remained unanswered. All they knew was that tonight somebody was going to die.


	14. The Battle Of Hogwarts I

_The hardest battle you're ever going to fight is the battle to be just you.__  
Leo F. Buscaglia_

_To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.__  
E. E. Cummings_

* * *

She Apparated only inches away from Tonks onto the grounds. Somehow all magical boundaries appeared to have been lifted. Around them the other arrived. Screams echoed through the night as flashes of light shot through the sky. They could not physically see anything or anybody but the voices were coming from both inside and outside the castle.

"Split up and find Minerva, find Harry. Find anyone! Join groups of people who need help!" It was Remus calling out orders to everyone before casting a quick look at Bellatrix. She looked out of place in between the Order members in her Hogwarts robes. She caught his eyes, already having pulled out her wand. She was ready to run, her heart pounding in her chest. She looked at Tonks beside her. Their eyes connected and she saw her fear. She reached out and grabbed her hand briefly before letting go. She spun around and headed off into the night. "And be careful!"

She barely heard Remus' last words as she was already running towards the entrance of the castle. Behind her the voices of the others disappeared. She dodged a blue flash of light when she shot through the wooden doors and made some kind of dive into the Great Hall. She managed to remain on her feet, her red curls swung around her head like manes of a lion. Things crashed over her head, exploded into tiny pieces. Voices were screaming and crying, the metallic sounds of the statues and suits of armour that had once lined up in the halls marching around echoed through the castle.

From the corner of her eye Bellatrix found Minerva McGonagall, hurrying a group of students down the hall. She didn't wait a second and ran over to her, grabbing her arm. Minerva turned around, their eyes met and she frowned as she attempted to name the student that had gotten hold of her. "Miss, well, you seem old enough to remain behind in the castle and fight if you wish to do so."

"Minerva, it's me. Look at me, please! I took the Polyjuice Potion!" Bellatrix spoke with her unfamiliar voice and saw how Minerva's eyes lit up behind her glasses when the pieces of the puzzle fell together. "I just need you to know it is me. The real me. Wherever the other one is, I will find her. I will find whoever is threatening this castle. The Order has arrived. We have split up around the castle." She turned around at the sound of screaming voices and realized they were no longer alone.

"I SWEAR I SAW POTTER!" some student squealed on the other side of the corridor and a hysteric buzzing was send through the group that was standing by McGonagall. "Harry Potter is in the castle!"

Bellatrix met Minerva's eyes and she simply nodded before turning around and running off, with her wand at the ready. Somewhere far away something heavy crashed and someone cried. She didn't hesitate and ran into the direction the noises had come from. She ran though the long corridors of Hogwarts, only partially having an eye for the danger that possibly lay around the corner waiting for her. She kept running up the staircase, down corridors she never even remembered to exist.

Bellatrix reached the Room of Requirement and leant against a wall, her chest rising and falling rapidly. She only recognised the room for what it was when she walked in. Harry had done the same. The room was crowded and she wondered to herself how everybody had managed to come here. Arthur and Molly were there, Bill and Fleur and the Weasley twins Fred and George, so was Remus and several Hogwarts students. Bellatrix pressed herself against a wall and hid in the shadows. Her appearance was unknown to many and Harry didn't know she was here, or who she was, and she didn't want the others to see her. It would only raise questions for which there was no time to answer them.

"What's going on?" Lupin wanted to know after Harry had run in and Harry's eyes wandered around the room, resting upon every single person in the room. The tension in the room was so thick it could be cut with a knife. People were sharing anxious looks, but no one spoke. Bellatrix saw the worries in Harry's eyes and she knew he was afraid. But when he spoke his voice was so much stronger and filled with power.

"Snape's made a run for it. He attacked McGonagall, the stupid git. Things don't look good out there. They are taking the younger students out of the school through the passage we came through. They will be taken to safety," He paused and he glanced around the room one more time. She wondered whether he realized that maybe after tonight he would never see some of these faces again. Bellatrix knew what he was going to say. Adrenaline shot through her body when he spoke those magical words. "We are meeting in the Great Hall. We are fighting."

People roared in a mixture of excitement and bad hidden fear. Dozens of feet headed towards the stairs and disappeared, leaving nothing but a cloud of dust and the echo of voices. Bellatrix was the last to follow and left the safety of the Room of Requirement behind her. She glanced over her shoulder one last time. After tonight everything was going to change. She made her way back to the Great Hall and found the others had already gathered. Her heart was racing in her chest and she held on to her wand as if it was her true and only lifeline. The confrontation with Voldemort was inevitable and she felt more terrified than ever before in her whole life.

The enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall was dark and filled with clouds through which only a few stars could be seen. She glanced up to it from the open door, as she stood partially hidden in the shadows and away from everybody. The atmosphere in the Great Hall was tense. People shared more nervous looks and held hands under the table. Wands lay at the ready. No one spoke. The silence was deafening and heavy. People stared at the raised little podium in front of where the teachers table used to be. Minerva McGonagall had been standing there for the past few minutes, in silence, as her look rested upon the people in the room before drifting across the Hall and finding Bellatrix in the shadows. Her blue eyes lit up for just a moment.

When Minerva spoke, her words were filled with truth, sadness, fear but most of all hope. "Things will change after tonight. Nothing is ever going to be the same, whatever happens. I am glad to inform you Severus Snape has done a runner and is no longer considered Headmaster of Hogwarts as of now." A loud cheer erupted from the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff table whereas the Slytherin students looked rather miserable. "The castle is protected by magic but the spells will need reinforcing for them to last."

_S_uddenly a voice broke through the words of hope and Bellatrix shivered as she recognised the voice of her former master. She closed her eyes, occluding her mind almost immediately. She was unsure whether he would be able to sense her presence when transformed into this body but she could not risk it. She tried not to listen but couldn't. Voldemort's voice echoed through the Great Hall with an enormous power. People looked around, whispering in fear. Bellatrix pressed herself against the wall.

"Give me Harry Potter". Voldemort's request was clear yet Bellatrix knew no one would comply. "Your fight will be futile. I do not want to fight you and shed magical blood. You have until midnight."

Bellatrix's eyes found Harry across the Great Hall but not just her eyes found the boy with the lightening shaped scar. Everybody looked at Harry. Every single pair of eyes stared at him. You could hear a pin drop. Someone moved unexpectedly and rose to her feet. A girl at the Slytherin table had stood up, pointing frantically at Harry and screaming with a high pitched voice.

"There he is. There's Potter!"

It resulted in the rise of Gryffindor who pulled their wands in Harry's protection. They were almost immediately followed by the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, all with their wands out and forming one wall in front of Harry. Bellatrix watched, suddenly feeling sickened by her former house but feeling proud to wear a Gryffindor uniform tonight. She carefully cherished the lion on her robe as her eyes focused on Harry once again.

The girl was escorted out of the Great Hall, followed by all the other Slytherins. The rest of the students knew their loyalty better and once more claimed their seats. Bellatrix's eyes desperately wandered around the Great Hall. There was no sign of Hermione. She had not seen her since she arrived at Hogwarts. Harry was here but Hermione wasn't. Danger was hanging over their heads so closely. She was scared and could only hope the young witch was all right. Her heart was beating nervously in her chest as she watched Harry run over to the other Weasley's. She didn't see Ron either. She suppressed the desire to run over, grab Harry's arm and beg her to tell where Hermione was.

Orders were given out as the battle plans were revealed. McGonagall, Flitwick and Sprout would take groups of students to the highest towers, which were Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and the Astronomy Tower. Three others groups would go into the grounds. They were led by Lupin, Arthur Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Fred and George Weasley would take care of guarding the passageways into the school. People shared excited but yet fearful looks. It was going to happen. A fight was inevitable. Bellatrix felt her heart pounding heavily against her ribcage. She caught Minerva's eyes right before she marched out of the Great Hall followed by several students. She could swear the older witch mouthed "be careful" before she disappeared. As Bellatrix too headed out of the room she saw Harry run off.

She wandered around the castle for what like hours though it was merely minutes, following voices and whispers. She couldn't hear exactly what they were saying. She heard footsteps everywhere. The paintings were all whispering excitedly, their eyes rolling around as they tried to watch and observe what was going on. Many whispered about the Dark Lord arrival. She brushed some of the curls out of her face as she ran through another empty corridor. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, her lungs about to burst in her chest. She turned a corner and in frustration found it was empty. She couldn't be far away now. She had to be close to people. The whispers became louder, turned into voices. She kept running. Her hair was dancing around her head. Her heart was racing. She clenched her wand tightly in her hand. She turned another corner and froze in her steps. Relief fell over her.

She had found them. They were standing hurdled together at the end of the corridor, talking excitedly but Bellatrix couldn't make out what they were saying. Ron showed something to Harry before pointing at Hermione. Hermione's eyes didn't look at Ron or Harry but wandered along the corridor and across the distance between them their eyes met. Bellatrix felt how her heart skipped a beat when she caught Hermione's eyes. The brown haired younger witch seemed to freeze and then slowly her face lit up. Bellatrix held her wand, lowered it now that she saw Hermione. She just stood there, watching them. She could see Hermione frown as she never took her eyes away from her as beside her Ron and Harry talked. Then suddenly the light in her eyes returned and Bellatrix knew the young witch recognised her somehow.

Ron suddenly grabbed Hermione's arm and dragged her along and the trio disappeared out of sight. Bellatrix followed them at a safe distance. Hermione kept looking over her shoulder, desperation flickering in her eyes. She seemed more relaxed now that she knew Bellatrix was behind her. All she wanted was to run over to her; leave Ron and Harry and to wrap her arms around her and never let go; to run away into the night. She was so scared. She was nervous, anxious. But she knew she couldn't turn around. There was no way back. No way out. She couldn't walk away now. So she looked over her shoulder once again and caught the girl's blue eyes. She didn't look like Bellatrix at all but she knew, inside, it was her.

They had arrived at the Room of Requirements once again and Bellatrix wondered what the trio were doing inside. She couldn't go in too. It was too dangerous. She couldn't be seen. She stood waiting outside. She just lingered around what was supposedly the entrance she was nearly knocked off her feet by a shadow figure running past. Not until she had managed to keep herself standing and turned around to see who had left the room in a hurry did she recognise the bubble gum pink hair down the hall. It had been Tonks that rushed passed her, whispering something about Remus. Bellatrix swallowed back her fear as she glanced at the door that had now appeared. Next was an elderly woman, dressed rather unusually dressed, who muttered something about her "damn brilliant grandson". Harry, Ron and Hermione didn't come out.

The walls and ceilings were shaking and in the distance she heard the sound of breaking glass. The fight was becoming more explosive. Bellatrix glanced out of the nearest window, which was a few metres away. Green and red flashes broke through the dark sky outside. The groups that patrolled the grounds had encountered Death Eaters. She heard screams and cries. Cheers and laughter, mostly from Death Eaters.

She felt desperate as she watched. Tears rolled down her face as outside people were fighting for their lives in a desperate attempt to overcome the greatest Evil the wizard world had ever known. She felt lost and alone, standing in this corridor on her own.

And suddenly she just wished it would rain. Rain like it had never done before. Rain that would wash everything away, that would reveal a brighter day and a brighter future. Rain that would make all the darkness wash away, so it would only exist in the darkest corners of one's memory. But it did not rain. Instead, it burned.

In the minutes she had spent looking out of the window – lost in her own thoughts- something had happened inside the Room that had stayed unnoticed to Bellatrix until now. Voices were screaming and strange, thick clouds of smoke came circling out of the room. Ron, Harry and Hermione all came flying out on what appeared to be old and knackered brooms and behind them she saw the roaring flames of magical fire. The trio was, however, not alone. Harry had saved Draco and even Goyle made it out while the flames behind them faded and nothing but the black blistered walls remained to tell the tale of whatever had happened in the Room. She had never seen Draco and his friend enter and from their screams she could tell there had been a third person with them. Crabbe was dead. When she heard his last name she realized he was the son of a Death Eater. She smirked to herself. She couldn't consider his death much of a waste.

In the blink of an eye Harry, Hermione and Ron had disappeared and so had Draco and Goyle. Bellatrix found herself once more alone and even more confused. She threw one more look at the Room of Requirements. It was badly damaged by the fire. The door that was the entrance slowly disappeared and seconds later there was nothing left but the brick wall. Then she suddenly heard the screams. Terrified screams, angered screams and she heard the crashing sounds of curses hitting the walls. And she knew the Death Eaters had penetrated Hogwarts. They were inside the castle walls. She didn't think twice and spun around. She ran back towards the Great Hall as all around her glass windows shattered and millions of pieces of glass rained down upon her.

Bellatrix lost all track of Hermione in the hysteric fight that had broken out. A curse just missed her as she ran down the staircase and when she turned to see who had cast it she was faced with Dolohov staring back at her. She never liked the man and now that she looked like a student she saw the contempt in his eyes. Bellatrix raised her wand before Dolohov could even blink. She muttered a breathless "Stupefy" and knocked him down several flights of stairs. She watched his body roll down and end up at the bottom of the stairs in a messed up pile of robe.

Her eyes desperately looked around. She couldn't cry out for Hermione. She couldn't cry out for anyone. She was alone in this battle and had to find her own way if she was to make it out alive. She kept running. Her feet barely touched the floor. Her heart ached in her chest and she panted heavily. Finally Bellatrix approached the Great Hall. She could only fight and hope that when the dust would rise, things would look different.

Everywhere she looked around her people were fighting and duelling. Curses soared over her head and she ducked just in time to miss a well-cast Body Bind curse. Dolohov somehow had regained his ability to move after the curse she had cast upon him only minutes earlier, probably due to the help of one of his vile Death Eater friends and was now fighting once again. This time his opponent was a student. Bellatrix's curse just missed Dolohov the first time but the next one was a direct hit to his chest and with his eyes wide open he once more staggered to the floor. He never had been the best dueller in the world. She hoped this time he would stay down. She met the eyes of the boy who had been fighting him. He wore a Gryffindor uniform and threw her a puzzled look before both of them ran off in opposite directions to engage in battle once again.

Her breast was heaving as she held still to overlook the situation she had staggered upon. There was hardly any air in her lungs. They were heavily pressed against her ribcage. Her heart raced in her chest and pounding so loud she thought everyone could hear it. Pears of sweat dripped from her forehead as little pieces of glass lay embedded in her hair. Her eyes wandered around, scanning the people in the room. She recognised some of their faces but none of them belonged to Hermione. And it was Hermione she was so desperately looking for. She dodged another curse that had bounced off the walls and mouthed a nasty spell towards another Death Eater who then collapsed to the floor while bowls filled with puss appeared all over him before they popped and spread the most terrible stench. Bellatrix ran on. She had to keep going. She had to find Hermione.

~()~

Hermione was walking closely beside Harry in a desperate attempt to find Voldemort, to kill Nagini. The snake had to die in order for Voldemort's soul to be destroyed. The snake was the final Horcrux. They were hidden underneath the Invisibility Cloak and attempting to make their way across the ground to the Shrieking Shack. It was where Voldemort was hiding while in the meantime outside his Death Eaters were giving their life for his cause and their friends were struggling to defend all things good. They passed their friends as they battled their enemies. Curses were shot left, right, front and centre and only just missed them as they ran past. The night was filled with bright coloured flashes, screams and cries. One of Hermione's well aimed curses knocked out Greyback when he eagerly leapt towards the unconscious body of another seventh year.

Hermione's heart was pounding in her chest. Cold sweat dripped down her back and her hands were shaking. They were standing outside the castle, literally in the middle of the fire line and in between the place where Voldemort was hiding and where their friends and family were fighting and dying. She kept looking around; her eyes desperately looking for the girl she knew was Bellatrix Lestrange.

Her heart froze when from the corner of her eye she saw her. Black curls, wicked black eyes and dancing and jumping around as she sent Killing Curses at a group of students. Her wicked laugh was manic, taunting her opponents as she used quick Shield Charms or simply darted away from the curses that were fired upon her in return. She knew it wasn't the real Bellatrix but seeing her right here, right now, did something to her. She couldn't take her eyes off her. Though this dark haired witch was completely crazy she still carried the beauty that had grabbed Hermione the night she first met her. Her heart was torn in two as tears silently rolled down her face. Bellatrix's face was deformed into a mask of pure hatred and manic wickedness. Beside her, Harry stirred and Hermione glanced at him. He had aimed his wand at another Death Eater who was now knocked back by his Stunning Spell. She then watched how Harry spun around under the Cloak and his wand aimed at the fake Bellatrix.

She couldn't let him do it. She couldn't let him draw his wand at her and curse her. Hermione knew she wasn't real. She knew this was the Death Eater Bellatrix, the transformed one. She knew this was not the woman she loved so much, no matter how identical they looked but to see Harry aim his wand at her with intend to hurt her badly, or even kill her, made her grab his arm. His green eyes met hers and she saw the hatred flickering in them. She knew he had really intended to kill her. She swallowed as her fingers tightened around his wrist and he eventually lowered his wand. Not because of her but because of what happened at that same second.

Voldemort's voice broke through the night once again, causing people to freeze in their tracks. Bellatrix Lestrange cheered at the sound of her master's voice. He spoke to Hogwarts, to its loyal fighters. He praised their efforts and their fights tonight but reminded them of their failure.

"Your fight is useless. You will and shall die."


	15. The Battle of Hogwarts II

_It is important to fight, and fight again, and keep fighting,__  
for only then can evil be kept at bay,__  
though never quite eradicated.__  
(Albus Dumbledore)_

_Change your thoughts and you change your world.__  
(Norman Vincent Peale)_

* * *

Everybody had gathered in the Great Hall after Voldemort had spoken to them again. An everlasting echo of his message still lingered on. Bellatrix stood in the shadows while silent tears slid down her cheeks as she saw the Weasley family gather around the dead body of Fred who had been killed in battle. He lay still and pale on the ground. They wept angry tears in their sorrow.

All the dead bodies lay side by side and were surrounded by mourners who cried their painful tears. There were more than fifty bodies lying next to each other. Many of them held their wands in her folded hands. All were soulless, with their eyes closed and lay underneath the enchanted ceiling in which no more stars sparkled. Silence and tears from their loves ones were their only company.

Beside Fred lay the soulless bodies of Tonks and Remus. Their faces were pale and their eyes closed. They would never see the star riddled skies they loved so much again. Bellatrix's heart had shattered in her chest as she looked at their faces through the crowd. She did not dare come closer. She couldn't. The pain and the grief were just too much. Inside her anger boiled to the surface as the desperate cries of sorrow and sadness from the other people in the Hall found their way into her ears. Her beautiful niece lay beside the man she loved the most. Forever joined in death they would be. Bellatrix angrily wiped the tears of her face as her eyes wandered around the Hall and saw the sadness and despair. Voldemort had murdered the only people she ever loved, the only people that had ever loved her in return. This had to stop. Someday, sometime, this had to stop.

She could see Hermione cry uncontrollably with Ron's arm safely wrapped around her. Hermione's tears were flowing endlessly. As were her own. She had been unable to catch Hermione's eye yet she could not walk over to her either. But she wanted to touch her, hold her. Brush those brown curls out of her eyes and try to whisper to her that it would be all right.  
No one here really knew who she was and this moment wasn't right for it to be known. Not now and maybe not ever. All Bellatrix could do was sit in silence and watch as the young witch suffered the loss of her friend. Seeing Hermione cry broke her heart. Hermione's bushy hair was bewildered, her clothes torn and wrecked. Her face covered in burns, bruises and filth. Her loyal wand lay in her lap. And when she eventually lifted up her head to look Bellatrix's way, the dark witched had crawled further into the shadows and cradled herself, carrying her grief and loss in silence and loneliness.

Bellatrix had no idea how much time had passed when she looked up and her eyes wandered around the Great Hall. She sat on the cold floor, her back rested against the stone wall. She felt cold, as if every part of her body had frozen. Her heart had stopped racing and was only beating softly in her chest. It was her only proof she was still alive. She closed her eyes once again but the sounds of sadness that filled the Great Hall still found its way into her head and heart. She had dried her own tears and held her wand tightly. In her head she had been going over curses and spells she would be using if she'd get her hands on a Death Eater.

She carefully reopened her eyes when she felt someone stare at her. Across the full length of the Hall she met Minerva's eyes. Minerva McGonagall looked bewildered. Her hair had come undone and there was a bleeding gash on the side of her face. Her robes were ripped and her hands blistered. Her glasses were broken but she still peered over her spectacles as she found Bellatrix sitting in the corner of the room. She needed no words. Their look said more than words ever could. It was a look filled with hope and it was that endless sense of hope that made Bellatrix feel that things were not as lost as they appeared to be after all.

But then from outside suddenly came the terrifying screams from Death Eaters. They had withdrawn about half an hour ago, right after Voldemort had spoken. They had withdrawn from the castle and backed off to wherever they were hiding; leaving the castle breathing heavily after the tormenting battle it had endured. Windows were broken, ceilings cracked and walls had crumbled. Paintings had been ripped or had fallen from the walls and lay broken and shattered on the floor. There were smears of blood on the tiles, an abandoned wand that had not yet been picked up lay on the ruins of the staircase.

Everybody looked up when the Death Eater cries found their way into the castle's Great Hall. People rose to their feet and shared anxious looks as they tried to understand what was going on. All of a sudden everybody realized the one person that was missing was Harry Potter and a sense of fear filled the Hall. Bellatrix was one of the first at the Entrance Hall, closely followed by Minerva McGonagall who firmly grabbed her wrist to prevent her from charging at full speed at the gathered Death Eaters outside.

"No, Bella! You can't!" She tried to hush her with a stern voice and her slim fingers closed around Bellatrix's wrists, pulling her back and shielding her behind her.

"Let-me-get-them!" Bellatrix felt frustrated, angry. Before her stood a gathering of Death Eaters. Some of them were still wearing their masks, others had lost their masks in battle and their faces were bare. Only a few showed clear marks of battle. Bruises and bleeding cuts but most of them appeared in good condition. Among the ones in good condition was Bellatrix Lestrange.

It was Hagrid who carried Harry's body in his arms. His tears dripped into his bushy beard and he was unable to look anywhere but at the body he carried. Behind him stood the group of Death Eaters, Bellatrix Lestrange right next to Voldemort himself who smiled in devious triumph before raising his hand and silencing his followers. With his thin white finger he pointed at Harry's body in Hagrid's arms. "Harry Potter is dead"

Bellatrix felt nothing. It was as if all feelings inside her had just died. She couldn't feel. She couldn't cry. There were no tears left to shed. She had cried all her tears... She couldn't even scream. The pain inside her simply made her numb. All she could do was stare at the body that lay still in Hagrid's arms. The Boy Who Lived, The Chosen One, was dead. After tonight, everything was over. Voldemort had won. McGonagall's grip around her wrist loosened but did not let go and Bellatrix looked at her through her eyelashes.

"NO!"

Minerva's outcry of pain sent cold shivers through Bellatrix's bones Minerva never let go of her arm, as if she knew that she would attempt to kill the first Death Eater she could lay her hands on. The powerful witch she had always admired for her strength, determination and loyalty had broken as tears streamed from her eyes and down her bruised face. Behind them people stirred in disbelief.

In front of them the other Bellatrix Lestrange laughed and taunted Minerva for her despair. Bellatrix felt revolted and dug her fingernails so deeply into the palms of her hands she made them bleed. Her wand shot sparks at her tight grip and unexpectedly Minerva's fingers closed around her wrist once more, causing her to ease the grip on her wand and it stopped shooting sparks. No matter how sad and heartbroken McGonnagal was, she never stopped protecting and shielding the real Bellatrix.

"HARRY!"

Hearing Hermione's tear filled voice cry through the dark night was possibly even worse than hearing Minerva McGonnagal cry. Bellatrix shivered. Her knees felt weak and she clung on to McGonagall's robes to make sure she stayed on her feet. She felt light headed, dizzy. Hermione's heart was broken and everyone could feel the pain that it had caused. People cried out Harry's name in pain, frustration and despair. Others started shouting abuse at the Death Eaters and calling them the filthiest names Bellatrix had ever heard being used. She did not hold back and too shouted words at the people that had ruined not only her life but so many others.

"Murderers!" She shouted, slowly raising her wand but Minerva had sensed her move and slammed her arm right back against her body. Bellatrix held still, glancing at the witch beside her. For only a brief second Minerva looked back at her but that look said more than a thousand words. She nodded softly and then looked around to find Hermione. She was standing by Ron, flanked by the other Weasley's and some of her friends. She was crying. Her face was a horrific mask of pain.

Suddenly Hermione looked up and their eyes met. It was as if the crowd faded into the distance, the voices becoming blurry whispers as they looked at each other. Hermione stood safely between her friends, Bellatrix next to McGonnagal. Tears still rolled down Hermione's face and she averted her eyes, staring at the floor. Her tears dripped onto the castle steps and sunk into the stones, an everlasting memory of her pain.

Harry lay dead at Voldemort's feet; his body slightly in an odd angle, his clothes masking his physical features. His face lay in the sand. Voldemort treated Harry like vermin, like waste. Like a piece of garbage that had never meant anything to anyone and was now lying here, simply thrown away.

To her horror Bellatrix suddenly found Narcissa in the back of the crowd. Her face was paler than ever before, her long blonde hair messed up and her face covered in dried blood. She had battled and fought. She had battled and fought side by side with the Death Eaters, with the Bellatrix she knew to be fake, while she knew her real sister was in the castle. Only then did Bellatrix see that, while no one else looked at her, Narcissa cried silent tears.

She wanted to talk to her. Ask Narcissa why. She wanted to walk over to her, take her hand and drag her with her. Whispering to her it was not too late. That it was never too late. Narcissa stood not far from Lucius, who looked as shaken as his wife but not as remorseful. His face was emotionless. His face was still the mask it had always been, whereas Narcissa's emotions after all these years of silence and coldness had finally found their way to the surface and her tears now marked her beautiful face.

Bellatrix could barely comprehend what happened next. One second her eyes connected with Narcissa's and she knew her sister recognised her. The next the whole situation had changed.

There were the sounds and screams of hundreds of people approaching from somewhere inside the castle while at the same time Grawp the giant staggered from out of the dark and nearly crushed several of the Death Eaters underneath his massive feet. Voldemort's gathered giants turned to attack him as hundreds of arrows were shot through the sky, causing the Death Eaters to scream in surprise before splitting up and running into various directions. Many ran into the Great Hall. Some of them were yanked arrows out of their limbs when they staggered into the Hall, where they were met by the resistance from Hogwarts' loyal fighters.

Bellatrix spun around and ran right behind McGonnagal back into the hall. "Stay behind me!" Minerva shouted but Bellatrix didn't listen and dodged off into another direction. She caught a final glimpse of Narcissa, who desperately cried out for Draco and then disappeared. But Bellatrix had to find Hermione. She had to stay with her. Somewhere in the distance she heard Minerva call out for her but she didn't look back. She just kept running. A fight had once again broken out and in the middle of the on-going battle stood Voldemort, nailed to the floor as from his mouth a silent scream escaped when he watched how Neville beheaded Nagini. The snake fell to the ground right before his feet. It was dead. As Bellatrix looked up and saw Voldemort's red flaming eyes, she knew something had died with that snake. She stood there staring at the Dark Lord who suddenly looked nothing more than a weakened wizard.

Out of nowhere House elves and centaurs charged at the Death Eaters. The Great Hall was riddled with people and curses and jinxes were flying through the sky everywhere. Bellatrix leapt to the left when a Killing Curse hit the wall to her right and spun around to find it had been Narcissa who cast it. She didn't know where her sister had come from. Seconds ago she was looking for Draco, now she stood here in front of her; her face and eyes as empty as before. Bellatrix raised her wand and at that same time, her sister looked up and met her eyes. Bellatrix didn't know what caused it but she lowered her wand. She stared at Narcissa as Narcissa stared at her. Around them the fight was still going on but for them, for those few seconds, time stood still. And then Narcissa once more turned around and disappeared into a battling crowd of people. Bellatrix watched her disappear before she continued to look for Hermione.

She still saw Narcissa's face, emotionless as she shot the Killing Curse and her eyes looked around. There was no sign of the long blonde hair that belonged to her sister but she did find Hermione and to her shock she found her battling the other Bellatrix Lestrange. Hermione wasn't alone. A blonde haired girl that went by the name of Luna and Ginny were by her side. Bellatrix fought the three of them as if they were simply first years. They were no match for her.

Hermione's face was a mask of confusion and horror and Bellatrix ran over to them. Hermione saw her coming running towards her from the side and suddenly hoped gloomed in her eyes as she cast another Body Bind curse to Bellatrix but missed. A green flash of light was the answer from the dark haired Death Eater and the Killing Curse soared past the three Hogwarts students and only just missed Ginny before it crashed into a wall. The bricks crumbled on impact.

Bellatrix responded with a very well-aimed "Reducto" and above Bellatrix Lestrange's head the ceiling crumbled and several pieces of stone and loads of dust rained down upon her. The Death Eater coughed but did not back down. As the dust cleared up, out of nowhere Molly Weasley appeared. She had seen the Killing Curse that had almost hit Ginny and now charged at Bellatrix with her wand out and already shooting curses at her. The power of Molly's magic had never been quite exposed but now that her anger was allowed to flow freely the strength of her curses was undeniable.

"NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!" Molly cried as she dodged a curse from Bellatrix Lestrange. With a quick flick of her wand she knocked Ginny and Luna out of the way and into safety and finally Bellatrix managed to grab hold of Hermione and pulled her to safety too. The younger witch lost her balance and fell into Bellatrix's arms. Feeling the beating of Bellatrix's heart made Hermione realize that everything wasn't lost.

"You're still here," Hermione whispered, her voice only heard by Bellatrix.

"I have been here all this time," Bellatrix whispered and she anxiously watched the battle between Molly and the fake Bellatrix unfold. Molly knew it wasn't really her but it didn't make her anger any less real. She was surprised by Molly's powerful magic and even in the middle of this battle she made a mental note to herself never to upset this feisty red haired woman. Luna and Ginny watched anxiously from the side as others came running over to help. Molly ordered them all away but people all stayed and watched their wands out and ready to take over.

"Harry," Hermione's tearful voice breathed softly and Bellatrix brushed Hermione's hair with her fingers, pressing her tighter against her body. "He's..."

"I know," Bellatrix answered softly and looked at the younger witch in her arms. "I know. This will all be over soon." She could only hope she hadn't just told Hermione a lie.

Bellatrix Lestrange looked mad and delirious as she fought her battle with full power. Her black curls danced around her head as she jumped around and managed to dodge all of Molly's curses. She laughed and cackled, taunting Molly with her grief over losing her son. She was cruel and emotionless. Her black eyes showed nothing but devotion to the Dark Lord. But it was just that thing, the taunting, that made her vulnerable for just one second. And one second was all it took for Molly to respond. Molly's cruse hit Bellatrix Lestrange underneath her outstretched arm and then right in her chest, just above her heart.

Bellatrix, still holding onto Hermione, watched as she saw her own mirror image stare in shock and utter surprise. Her big black eyes widened before they glazed over and her body crashed soulless to the floor. From behind them came a tormented scream as Voldemort witnessed his most loyal follower die. Molly turned to stare at Voldemort, who never stopped casting curses. Ginny and Luna ran over to her. But Bellatrix and Hermione both still looked at the shell that once had been Bellatrix Lestrange, or the Death Eater that had taken her place. Bellatrix felt tears in her eyes at the sight of her own dead body. Yet inside, she felt strangely numb. She stood frozen. She had watched herself die. Seeing the disgraced body on the floor made her realize there really was an end. Beside her, Hermione reached for her hand and looked up to meet Bellatrix's eyes. Their eyes connected but there was no time to speak. The silence that had fallen over the Great Hall when Bellatrix Lestrange died was interrupted.

"HE'S ALIVE!"

Harry had reappeared and as people cheered in surprise Bellatrix stared in shock how the green eyed boy confronted Voldemort. Hermione squeezed her hand. Bellatrix had reached for her own wand but when Harry spoke and told everybody not to help she let go. Harry said it had to be him and him alone, for things to end, whatever the ending that was going to be.

The battle that followed was nothing like any magic they had seen throughout the night. Harry and Voldemort circled around each other like hawks watching their prey. Harry taunted him yet explained things to him, calling him Tom Riddle. The name he had stopped using the day he became Lord Voldemort. But now he was nothing more but a wizard at the doorstep of death. The battle that was about to start would measure the strength of both good and evil. Voldemort attempted to mock Harry, make fun of him and make him feel his own weakness but Harry was stronger. And he knew better. He knew things Voldemort did not. And he understood them. More than Voldemort ever could.

Bellatrix watched. She and Hermione had been joined by other the fighters of Hogwarts. Teachers and students, the remaining members of the Order. Centaurs, and House elves. In the distance stood the Death Eaters, huddled together. Even they had lowered their wands and watched as their leader engaged in battle with the Boy Who Lived.

Suddenly she found Narcissa. She was alone, standing away from all the Death Eaters. Her face was bleeding and her eyes were hollow. Lucius was not there, nor did she see Draco. Bellatrix leant into Hermione. "Don't go anywhere. Stay right here. I'll be right back."

Hermione wanted to object but had to let Bellatrix's hand slip out of her own. She watched as Bellatrix made her way through the crowd.

"Cissy," she whispered when she found Narcissa and her younger sister looked at her. She knew Narcissa had recognised her earlier. She didn't smile. She didn't show any sign of recognition at all. "There is always a chance. Remember what I once told you, when we were little? Remember how I told you that there was always hope, as long as you never gave up?"

"I gave up a long time ago, Bella," Narcissa whispered and Bellatrix suddenly realized how much older her sister looked. She sounded tired. The rings around her eyes had become even darker since the last time she saw her. Her face slowly showed emotion and the mask of coldness dropped. "I gave up the day I pledged my allegiance to the Dark Lord and swore to serve him with my life. I gave up the day when I walked away from who I used to be and became who I am."

"This is not who you are, Cissy. This is never who you were meant to be," Bellatrix urged and took her sister's hand into her own. Both of them then slowly looked up at Harry and Voldemort, who were still circling around each other with their wands at the ready. From where she stood Bellatrix could just see Hermione. "Whatever happens tonight, everything will change." She paused. "If I can, I'll walk away from all of this as far as I can."

Narcissa made a disapproving noise but didn't look at her sister. Something stopped her. It wasn't the fact she didn't look like the Bellatrix she knew or the fact she wore a Gryffindor uniform. It was because she had managed to do everything she knew she never would. "With the Mud…with the Granger girl?"

"I don't know," Bellatrix answered and slowly looked away from Hermione, who was now flanked by both Ron and Minerva McGonnagal. Behind her stood the other members of the Weasley family and her friends. "Who is to tell what the future holds, Cissy? You know this isn't you. Walk away tonight. Walk away and try to start over. It is never too late. Not for you, not for Draco. Forget about Lucius. He has never been any good to you; He has been a poor father and poor example to your son. Walk away, Cissy. Just walk away." Her eyes were drawn to her own dead body on the floor and forced Narcissa to look at it too. "Or else you might as well end up like that!"

Narcissa looked at the dead body that belonged to her sister. The black curls had fallen over her face like a curtain. Her body still looked perfect and almost untouched by damaging magic. She lay as if she was asleep and could rise any moment. She slowly looked up and then met the blue eyes of the red haired girl beside her, the girl who was really her sister. "Who says life away from this is better than death?"

The battle between Harry and Voldemort ignited at that exact same moment and the two wizards cried out their curses at exactly the same time.

"_AVADA KEDAVRA!"_

"_EXPELLIARMUS!"_

They two curses connected half way and caused an outburst of magic that made Hogwarts shake. Voldemort's green killing curse and Harry's red disarming spell collided. Gold sparks filled the Hall from where the spells met as the cores of the wands connected. The killing curse bounced back to its sender as Harry caught the Elder Wand from out of the sky with the pure skill of a Seeker.

Everything suddenly went quiet. Harry had closed his eyes, his chest heaving and his heart pounding harshly against the ribcage in his chest. Memories flashed before his eyes in those few precious seconds. His mother's red hair and warm smile, his father's eyes and gentle touch. Sirius's face right before he died. Fred Weasley who raised his hand as if to say a final goodbye. Tonks and Lupin who held hands. They all smiled at him before they finally faded into the bright white light.

Harry slowly opened his eyes. The silence in the Great Hall still lingered. Voldemort lay dead onto the ground, nothing more than a shell of what once had held the darkest evil.

Cheers rose as the first beams of tender sunlight came falling through the broken windows and finally chased away the final remains of darkness. Death Eaters made their retreat, Disapparating quickly and silently after being faced with Voldemort's dead body. People ran over to Harry, ignoring both the bodies of Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange under their feet, and wrapped their arms around him. Within seconds he was covered in people who wanted to touch even the tiniest piece of them. Bellatrix stared at the bodies of Voldemort and Bellatrix. They had been carelessly pushed to the side. Only she was the one to see them for what they really were. She wondered how long it would be before the effects of the Polyjuice Potion had worn off and people would see it wasn't the real Bellatrix. She couldn't stay. She couldn't wait for that to happen. Bellatrix took a deep breath before turning around.

She caught Minerva's emerald green eyes. They were filled with tears, both out of sadness and happiness. Then she desperately looked around for Narcissa. Her sister had disappeared. And without really realizing what she was doing Bellatrix then ran out of the Great Hall, out of the castle and into the sun. Her tears streamed down her face as she just kept running, as fast and as far away from the Great Hall as she could.


	16. Tomorrow Is A Vision Of Hope

_For Yesterday is but a Dream,__  
And Tomorrow is only a Vision;__  
But Today well lived makes__  
Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,__  
And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope__  
(Kalidasa)._

* * *

The sun rose steadily over Hogwarts' grounds and was casting it in a strange golden gloom. It was as if something about this dawn of day was different than the dawn of any day before. Today dawn broke with the knowledge of evil being destroyed. The grounds bore the clear signs of magic and battle. She had left the castle far behind and had left it all for what it was. She had left the people cheering and grieving at the same time and sat in silence as she watched the sun come up.

Bellatrix sat on her knees beside the lake. Her bones were aching and her body was tired. She felt the magical effects of the Polyjuice Potion wearing off. She watched as her hands changed back to her own. Her curly red hair started to go darker until her black curls had returned and fell before her eyes. Her body changed form and shape and after several minutes the peaceful water reflected her own mirror image and Bellatrix found herself staring into her own brown eyes.

The world was still covered in silence but softly, in the distance, the first birds started to sing. From all around her suddenly came the beautiful tones from birds whistling their songs and when she rose to her feet and turned around she found the beautiful white unicorns standing at the edge of the Forbidden Forrest. All had lowered their heads as if they paid a final farewell to those who had lost their lives inside the castle walls during the night. Beside them stood the centaurs that had so bravely fought in battle, side by side with the wizards. Their bows and arrows hung over their shoulder.

As she stood her eyes were drawn back to the castle. It had sustained heavy damage throughout the night. She did not see a window that wasn't broken. Bricks had disappeared and there were big gaping holes in the cracked walls. The big wooden Entrance Door was shattered and the entrance to the castle lay bare, with dried blood on its steps as the quiet reminder of what had happened here.

Behind her the unicorns and centaurs made their way back deep into the Forbidden Forrest and the loneliness fell over her as she still looked up the magnificent building that had once appeared indestructible but now breathed heavy under its damage. Suddenly a figure appeared outside the main entrance and stood still at the top of the steps.

Bellatrix recognised the figure of Minerva McGonnagal. The older witch had regained her strength and now made her way quickly down the steps before she strode across the grounds to meet Bellatrix by the side of the lake. She looked at the black haired witch from head to toe when she finally reached her and without warning pulled her into one of the warmest embraces Bellatrix had ever felt. She let her head rest on Minerva's shoulder.

"It is all over now, Bella," Minerva whispered, her hands resting on Bellatrix's back and when she finally let go of her she looked into her eyes. She saw the sadness, the tiredness, the confusion. But most of all she saw the shame. There was dried blood on her face from a cut that hadn't healed. She reached for her wand to cure it but Bellatrix stopped her.

"Please, no. Leave it to heal naturally," Bellatrix whispered softly as she looked over Minerva's shoulder at the castle before looking back at the woman who was now going to be the new Headmaster of Hogwarts and would give hope once again to so many "I-I need it to remind me."

"I would like you to come inside with me. There are people waiting for you," Minerva said friendly but Bellatrix shook her head. She was not sure whether she would be able to ever set foot in Hogwarts again after the battle that took place last night. She was ashamed of herself, ashamed of what she had once allowed herself to become. Having seen her own mad self, jinxing and attempting to kill all who were in her way, brought tears to her eyes and she turned away from McGonnagal and let her eyes wander over the lake. The sun caught Dumbledore's tomb and the marble sparkled in its light, a new glimmer of hope.

"I can't," Bellatrix shook her head, never taking her eyes away from Dumbledore's tomb. But she shivered when she felt McGonagall's hand on her arm. She slowly looked up to meet those blue eyes and swallowed her tears away.

"I know you are scared. There are people in there who do not know yet but so many of them do and I am sure Miss Granger would be happy to see you. She has been wandering around the castle all night looking for you," McGonnagal answered and caught Bellatrix's charcoal eyes. She saw her fear and felt for her. "I can send her out here if you wish but I do not think it will make the confrontation with everybody else any easier. You can come inside with me or you can walk away now, not knowing whatever could have been."

Bellatrix thought about Hermione. She was inside. She had been looking for her. Her heart yearned for the younger witch. She longed so badly for her touch, for her warmth. For the comfort to know it really was all over. Then suddenly she remembered Narcissa and just as McGonnagal was about to walk away she grabbed her hand and the new Headmistress turned around. "What about my sister? Is Narcissa in the castle? Is she still alive?"

McGonnagal nodded and Bellatrix gave it another thought before she finally followed the older witch and eventually climbed the steps to Hogwarts entrance and then carefully walked back inside. She had left this place several hours ago but now that she returned she felt the sense of evil had disappeared. There was shattered glass everywhere and several paintings still lat ripped to pieces on the floor. Some of them muttered sentences she could not hear, others were too destroyed to speak. She kicked against an abandoned wand as she followed Minerva and they held still at the Great Hall entrance. Her heart was beating steadily though fast in her chest.

Minerva turned around before opening the door. "You ready?"

Bellatrix wasn't but Minerva McGonnagal opened the doors anyway and exposed to her the gathering of people inside. They sat together at some of the House tables and now many of them looked up when the new Headmistress entered. Bellatrix stood frozen to the floor in the open doors. Dozens and dozens of eyes now looked at her and all she wanted was to turn around and run away. Some people whispered things in shock or fear but no one spoke aloud. No one reached for their wands and as McGonnagal climbed the small podium in front of the teachers table Bellatrix's eyes found Hermione. She had been sitting in between Ron and Harry but now stood up and ran across the distance of the Great Hall. She flung her arms around the dark haired witch's neck and her tears dripped into Bellatrix's black curls.

Bellatrix wrapped her arms around Hermione and pulled her as close to her as she possibly could. Her heart was now racing, pounding madly in her chest and she buried her head in Hermione's light brown curls. She smelled of smoke and fire and the scent of battle. "I missed you so much." Her words nearly got lost in Hermione's hair.

"I missed you too," Hermione whispered in return, her lips brushing against Bellatrix's ear. When she finally broke the embrace they stood looking at each other, holding each other's hand. Hermione's face still showed the tracks of her tears. Dried blood was stuck in her hair; she had a black eye and several burns and bruises all over her face, neck and hands. Her hair had been burned shorter in some places but her eyes sparkled just the same as the first night Bellatrix had met her.

Suddenly Minerva McGonnagal spoke. "Bellatrix Lestrange has been on our side for nearly two years. The woman that was seen fighting here last night in the shape of Bellatrix was another Death Eater who was taking Polyjuice Potion. Professor Dumbledore," Minerva paused as the memory of Dumbledore sunk into everybody's mind "took the risk of helping her when she decided to risk her life for our safety. While we were fighting the real Bellatrix was amongst us, also with Polyjuice Potion. She had taken on the form of a Gryffindor student and fought to protect this castle and each and every one of us, just as much as you and I."

Hermione turned to look at McGonnagal, never letting go of Bellatrix's hand. When she looked back up to see Bellatrix's eyes she saw the silent tears run down her face and she carefully squeezed her hand.

"I ask of you a moment of silence as we remember all the brave loved ones who lost their lives last night. They died fighting for our safety, for all things good and never backed down against evil," McGonnagal continued and people's faces turned automatically to one of the long walls in the Hall. The bodies still lay lined up, side by side. Each and every single one of them had been partially covered by a sheet with the Hogwarts logo. With a simple gesture from her hand McGonnagal made the enchanted ceiling come back to live and from behind the clouds the sun appeared and cherished the living, and the dead, with its warmth.

Bellatrix never let go of Hermione's hand as her eyes looked at every single face of those who had died. When she reached Tonks her tears once more streamed down her face and she couldn't stop wondering why things ever had to get this far, what had happened for things to come to this. With those tormenting questions in her head her eyes wandered around the Great Hall, finding Harry surrounded by his friends. Ron Weasley sat at his side. A second ago he had been looking at her and Hermione but know his eyes rested upon the body of his brother. Around him sat his family. Molly slowly averted her eyes from the son she had lost and across the distance of the room she caught Bellatrix's eyes. And through her tears, for the first time, she weakly smiled.

Bellatrix looked around the Hall further. At the teachers table sat many of the teachers. Professors Sprout, Flitwick, Hooch, Slughorn, Trelawney, Hagrid and many of the others. Hagrid was still sobbing, his tears endlessly dripping into his beard. And then, in the corner where the Slytherin table used to be, she found the body of Lord Voldemort. His face still as pale and snake like. His red eyes had been closed. He lay there, like a ghostly shell of the powerful wizard he had once been. Suddenly evil had a different face. Beside him lay the body of Goyle. The Polyjuice Potion had lost its magic and the transformation had been reversed now that he was dead.

And then, far away from everybody else, she found Narcissa. She sat closely beside Lucius and Draco sat in between his parents. They looked terrified but most of all lost. Lucius was still staring at the wall in front of him but Narcissa had looked up and met her sister's eyes. She looked so tired, Bellatrix thought. But at that same moment, Narcissa weakly smiled and in her eyes she saw some of the life she thought had faded so many years ago. When her lips curled up into a tender, weak smile Bellatrix felt the hope inside her glow that things maybe really were not too late for Narcissa after all.

"Thank you," Minerva ended the silence in the Great Hall and brushed a lost tear from her cheek. "Hogwarts had fought its battle well. The castle is badly damaged and will need great repairs. I have every intention to make this school once again the safest and the best. This will always be the home for those who need it, the school for those who wish to learn but most of all a place where friends are welcome, where hope is always present and doors will never close"

Suddenly Harry stood up. Without speaking he walked over to McGonnagal and climbed the little stage. "Excuse me Headmistress" he said softly "If I may?" McGonnagal nodded and then Harry turned to face all the listeners in the Great Hall.

"There is one thing you all need to understand. We have all heard and seen the most terrible things tonight and many of us always believed the traitor inside these walls was Severus Snape," Harry spoke. The mention of the name Severus Snape made many shiver but Harry raised his hand. "You were wrong. I was wrong. It was Dumbledore all along. He was right all these years. Snape had never been a traitor. Not to us. He was a traitor to Voldemort. He killed Dumbledore because Dumbledore asked him to do so. He worked for Voldemort because Dumbledore asked him to. And last night he died because he knew it was what we needed to finally find freedom. Severus Snape was not a traitor. He was a hero!"

People sat in silence for several seconds before somewhere, someone started applauding. One by one people followed and quickly the Great Hall filled with appreciation for the former Potions teacher. Bellatrix glanced beside her to find Hermione applauding too. And whilst everybody was cheering Snape's name she took the younger witch's arm and lead her out of the Great Hall. Hermione followed willingly, desperate for some peace and quiet. She followed Bellatrix up the staircase without asking where she was taking her. They walked for minutes down corridors and climbing stairs until eventually they stood still in a corridor Bellatrix recognised blindly. It had been the corridor she used to hide in when she was a student. She walked to the window. The glass lay scattered on the floor and she sighed.

"What is going to happen now?" Hermione asked the most important question as she carefully walked over to Bellatrix and glanced out of the window. The sun was reflecting on the lake. She looked at the dark haired woman beside her. The woman she loved so much.

"I don't know," Bellatrix answered and turned to face Hermione "I really don't know."

Hermione came closer and carefully touched the side of Bellatrix's cheek. Bellatrix rubbed her face against Hermione's hand. It felt safe and warm to be touched. Carefully Hermione leant in, her lips briefly brushing against Bellatrix before she eventually – without warning- pressed them on Bellatrix's lips and gently kissed her. Bellatrix carefully took Hermione into her arms and pulled her closer as her hands disappeared in Hermione's hair. Hermione's slim fingers traced the shape of Bellatrix's jaw line as she kissed her. When she eventually backed away and carefully opened her eyes she found Bellatrix doing the same. "Do you still believe?" she whispered.

Bellatrix took Hermione's hands into her own and looked into her eyes. "I never stopped believing" She brushed a curl out of Hermione's face and pushed it gently behind her ear. "It is not going to be easy, Hermione. Voldemort may be dead but many people will not easily forgive and forget. Many will not understand, not even your friends, Hermione. Your friend Ronald Weasley has lost his heart to you just as I have. And your parents..."

"I shall have to find them first," Hermione whispered sadly as she remembered her parents "They are in Australia. I modified their memories before I ran away with Harry and Ron. They have a new identity. They do not even know they have a daughter. Maybe that is for the better."

"You must find them," Bellatrix urged and lifted Hermione's chin with one finger so she could look her in the eye "You cannot walk away from them, Hermione. Believe me, family is the most important thing you can ever have in life. It is not until you lose that bond you realize how precious and beautiful it is. Memories will not even begin to fill the gap caused by that pain."

"Will you come with me?" Hermione questioned carefully and Bellatrix carefully kissed her on her forehead.

"Wherever you want me to," she answered and cherished Hermione's hand into her own. Together they watched the sun cast beautiful sparkles on the lake and from out of nowhere came the phoenix who sang it's beautiful song. It flew around the castle as its tune filled their hearts with hope and warmth. They held each other's hand and stood closely side by side. In front of them lay a future and behind them lay a past that would trouble them on their path to find that future but both of them still believed.

~()~

"Cissy?"

She had seen Narcissa walk out to the lake from the window she and Hermione had been standing. Her sister sat down not far from where she herself sat earlier that day. The son reflected on her blonde hair. She was alone. She turned when she heard Bellatrix's voice and her eyes widened at the appearance of her sister. As if seeing her truly alive stirred something inside her.

"Bella," she whispered and looked back out over the lake "Did you mean it when you said there was still hope? That it is never too late?"

"I did," Bellatrix answered as she stood beside Narcissa and took her hand into her own. "I still do. Come with me, Cissy. I know it will be hard. The future will be difficult from this day onwards. We have brought that burden and shame upon ourselves by our own mistakes. We must carry it from now on, every day. But we can carry it with grace, if we try to better ourselves. It is not too late for you or Draco. Lucius however, is a lost case. I know you love him, Cissy. But he is not worthy of you. He never has been."

"I know," Narcissa acknowledged. Behind them suddenly Draco appeared. He looked scared and so much younger than the young man of eighteen he was soon to be. His eyes had sunken deep into his head, deep black rings circled around them. His skin was as pale as his mother's and if Bellatrix had not known better she would have believed him to be a ghost. "But where am I to go? Lucius has given me everything in life. I have nothing once I leave."

"Having nothing sometimes means more than having everything that doesn't make you happy," Bellatrix answered and reached out a hand to Draco. He took it, his own hand still shaking. "Like you yourself once said, Cissy. He is just a boy. He deserves a second chance in life and so do you."

Narcissa looked at her older sister through her eyelashes. "I am unsure if I deserve such a chance, Bella. But Draco does. He deserves the chance to have a real life" She looked at her son. He even looked to terrified to look up to his own mother. Sadness reflected in Narcissa's blue eyes. The arrogant, self-confident Draco had faded and had been replaced by a terrified, scarred and nervous young man who would have to live with the tormenting memories of his past from this day onwards. Suddenly Narcissa's face showed signs of strength and determination. "Draco, take my hand" she said strongly and Draco did what he was told. He now held his mother's hand one side and Bellatrix's hand the other. Narcissa reached for Bellatrix's other hand and they now formed a circle. She looked up to meet her sister's brown eyes. "Take us wherever safety lies."

Bellatrix nodded softly before closing her eyes. With the familiar 'crack' the three of them Dissaparated and once they had reached solid ground once more they were standing outside the house she had left the night she came to fight for Hogwarts. The front door opened and Andromeda appeared. She had been crying. Her daughter and son in law were dead. All she had left of them was the baby that she held in her arms. But her tears dried when she caught sight of Narcissa standing next to Bellatrix.

Bellatrix pushed her sister carefully towards the door, Draco followed like a scared little puppy. When Andromeda and Narcissa were standing only inches away from each other and looked each other in the eye for the first time over twenty years Bellatrix saw the tears slide down Narcissa's face. She took her younger sister's hand and whispered "The first step to safety is finding those who never stopped loving you."

And with those words she left Draco and Narcissa with Andromeda. She watched as they all walked into the house. Once again, she closed her eyes and Dissaparated. She returned to Hogwarts and found herself once more standing beside the lake. But she was not alone. Hermione stood there waiting for her. And once Bellatrix had appeared she slipped her hand into hers and kissed her briefly. And they stood there for minutes as behind them the first people left Hogwarts while teachers started to rebuild the castle's damaged walls.

Hermione looked up to Bellatrix and she met her brown eyes. "Everything is going to change now, isn't it?"

Bellatrix nodded but smiled. Her voice was filled with hope. She had not felt hope for all these years. The emotion both terrified and warmed her. "Yes my darling. But we can only make the best out of what is yet to come, as long as we keep on believing."


	17. When The Thunder Rolls Away

_Nobody can go back and start a new beginning,__  
but anyone can start today and make a new ending.__  
(Maria Robinson)_

* * *

_**2nd week of July**_

The days had gone past so quickly. It was as if with the death of Voldemort time had suddenly moved so much quicker. Or it was simply because there was so much still to do, so much still to see and understand and so many things were still left unfinished. Kingsley Shacklebolt had become the new Minister of Magic and most of the remaining Order members had been giving high ranked positions within the Ministry. There were raids, almost every day, but different than the raids that occurred while Voldemort was still in power. The Death Eaters that had absconded from Hogwarts after his fall were rounded up, one by one. Among them was Lucius Malfoy. The only thing that did not land him in Azkaban was Narcissa's plea that with her lie she had saved Harry. Instead, Lucius ended up in the tormenting empty Malfoy Manor as his wife and son had abandoned him.

Hermione sat underneath one of the trees in Andromeda's back garden in the late afternoon son. In her lap lay the latest edition of the Daily Prophet. It was still unread. Her eyes were closed as she enjoyed the tender warm rays of sunshine on her skin. Her cuts and bruises had started to heal. She had refused any form of magic. She needed to feel the pain as a reminder; she needed the scars to be her constant memory of what had happened.

She had arrived here with Bellatrix only late last night after having spent their first few days of pure freedom in Hogsmeade as they helped around Hogwarts to restore the damage that had been done. It was late when they arrived. Andromeda had been awake, waiting up for them – sitting by the fire. Narcissa and Draco were not. She had not seen either of them yet today though the day was nearly over. She didn't quite know why but she had attempted to hide away.

"So here you are, love," Bellatrix's soft voice made her open her eyes and she smiled when she found Bellatrix standing over her. A smile played around the dark haired witch's lips before she sat herself down in the grass too. "I have been looking all over for you."

"I needed some peace and quiet," Hermione answered and looked into Bellatrix's eyes. They were sparkling. Her cheeks were slightly blushed. Bellatrix was thriving well in her new found freedom though many times she had seen her nervous and scared when there were many people around. "I don't think I really had a moment to gather any of my thoughts and there are so many. It is so hard to believe it is really all over."

Bellatrix took Hermione's hand into her own and carefully cherished it. "Tell me about it. It feels as if it was all some strange dream."

Hermione nodded. That was exactly the way she felt. It felt as if had been a dream. She carefully lay her head down on Bellatrix's shoulder and felt how the older woman ran her fingers through her hair. She closed her eyes as she warm sensation rushed through her body. She swallowed her tears away. She had not seen Harry or Ron for days. Had not spoken to them since the night it all ended. She knew they had all returned to the Burrow when she stayed behind at Hogwarts. As far as she knew they had no idea where she was.

"You're thinking about your friends, aren't you?" Bellatrix asked carefully. Hermione's brown curls tickled her face and she carefully lifted up Hermione's chin to meet her eyes. "Have you spoken to them at all?"

"I've been meaning to send an owl, telling them that I am here," Hermione answered and stared over the hills as the sun was slowly setting "Every time I pick up my quill I don't know what to say."

"Words will come eventually," Bellatrix promised her and kissed her on her head. "Now, there is something I wanted to talk to you about. I have been to London today with Narcissa. I mean, we cannot stay here with Andromeda forever, me and you."

Hermione looked up. She hadn't even thought about that. She and Bellatrix had nowhere to live now that the war was over. She had her money in Gringotts but she doubted it was enough to buy a house, or even rent one. Though she knew Bellatrix still owned much of her Lestrange and Black wealth she was unsure where they would go from here. "London?" she stuttered in confusion. It did, however, explain why she had not seen Narcissa all day. She had been with Bellatrix. "What were you doing in London?"

"I suppose you could say we were house hunting," Bellatrix said as her lips curled up into a smile. "There were several places we needed to visit. One of them being 12 Grimmauld Place. The Death Eaters trashed it after it was exposed. We have lifted most of its dark charms, putting the originals back in place. Your friend Harry is free to do with it as he wishes as it is, after all, his."

Hermione's heart sank. She knew Harry would never wish to either live or have anything else to do with the building in which Sirius had grown up and felt like a prisoner. She herself, on the other hand, had grown used to the house. Something about it, no matter how dark, made her feel safe and secure and even though the times spent there were not always beautiful, she still cherished some of her most precious memories from the time she spend at Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix.

"There was also the matter of the house in which Narcissa, Andromeda and I grew up," Bellatrix spoke softly and Hermione's curiosity grew. She had never thought about the possibility of another Black residence but the three Black sisters had to have grown up somewhere. "It is not far from 12 Grimmauld Place, actually. Only a few streets down the block. Neither of us had been there since the day we moved out. The house has been passed down the family tree for three previous generations and we assumed that with our parents being dead, we would now be the owners of the house. It turned out we were right."

Hermione's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Bellatrix saw the sparkle in Hermione's eyes and briefly leant in, brushing her lips against Hermione's. Hermione closed her eyes as she felt Bellatrix's soft lips touch her own. She wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into a tender embrace. As Bellatrix attempted to break away from the kiss Hermione moaned in displeasure and pulled her closer once again. Bellatrix let her and smiled as Hermione's lips found hers. She pulled the younger witch on top her, Hermione now straddled her lap and ran her hands through Bellatrix's long hair. Bellatrix's hands slipped underneath Hermione's shirt and for the first time cherished the tender skin of her back.

Hermione's tongue found hers and she gave into a tender kiss that grew in passion quickly. Inside her roared a passion like she had never felt before and parts of her body responded she didn't even know still worked. Carefully Hermione's hands lowered down Bellatrix's neck and then down her shoulders and very slowly started a journey down to her breasts. They brushed against the fabric of Bellatrix's dress, gently caressing the full form of her breasts underneath it and Bellatrix's moan got lost in Hermione's kiss.

"Hey you two, get a room!" Andromeda called from the open door and Hermione quickly looked over her shoulder to find the middle Black sister looking at them with a bemused smile on her face. Behind her appeared the platinum blonde hair of Narcissa and seconds later Hermione was faced with the youngest of the three. There was something flickering in Narcissa's eyes she couldn't quite understand. She still sat on Bellatrix's lap and Bella's hand was still under her shirt.

"Come on, we'd better go inside," Bellatrix said though she sounded disappointed they had been interrupted. She and Hermione had not had much time to enjoy each other, or get to know each other better, and a part of her would be happy to leave Andromeda's house and run off to London with Hermione.

They stood up and together walked into the house. They were greeted by the lovely smell of shepherd's pie and Hermione suddenly felt how hungry she was. She walked into the kitchen to see if Andromeda needed any help while Bellatrix went into the other room to collect the plates to lay the table. But it wasn't Andromeda Hermione found cooking dinner. Narcissa turned around and their eyes met briefly before the blonde woman looked away. Both witches seemed uncomfortable with each other's presence.

"I haven't seen Draco all day" Hermione tried to start a conversation "Is he, uhh, all right?"

"My son has chosen to remain in his room though I hope he will join us for dinner," Narcissa answered without looking up "Is there something I can help you with, Miss Granger?"

Hermione was confused that Narcissa had chosen not to address her by her first name and frowned before she spoke. "No, I don't think so." She headed back to the door but turned around. Narcissa felt her hesitation and looked over her shoulder. She caught Hermione looking at her. "Maybe there is something after all. Just call me Hermione." Narcissa gave a brief nod and Hermione turned around and left.

~()~

Dinner with the three Black sisters and Draco was probably the most uncomfortable situation Hermione had ever found herself in. As Narcissa had predicted, Draco had come down for his meal but he sat at the end of the table. He never once looked up, not even to his mother. His platinum blonde hair before his eyes like a soft golden curtain, hiding his face almost completely. He ate his shepherd's pie and drank his pumpkin juice quietly and once he was finished he did not excuse himself but simply stood up and left.

Narcissa pushed her food around on her plate with her fork. She had barely eaten five mouthfuls, Hermione observed, Bellatrix on the other hand seemed to have found her appetite and helped herself to seconds. Andromeda, who had finished her own plate, watched both her sisters before her eyes caught Hermione's. It was obvious Andromeda had felt exactly the same as Hermione did.

"So, what about the house?" the middle sister attempted to get the conversation going and Bellatrix put her fork down and washed her shepherd's pie away with pumpkin juice.

"Well, it needs some work doing and it can definitely use some tender, love and care from a skilled wand. I don't think I have ever seen such an amount of dust in my life!" Bellatrix answered and glanced at Narcissa who had now put her fork down too but had not eaten much. "I think that within a few days it should be ready to move in to. We'll be out of your hair soon, Dromeda."

Hermione wasn't sure whether Andromeda wanted them out of her hair just yet. She looked sad now that Bellatrix mentioned the possibility of them leaving soon. Having her sisters, Hermione and her nephew around must have brought some sense of closure to Andromeda after having lost her daughter and son in law. Hermione watched Andromeda more closely. It was as if she was the mixture between the other two. She had the same curls as Bellatrix though her hair was lighter and not as heavy and thick. Her eyes were a lot lighter too. They were a light hazel, with a green shade whereas Bella's eyes were almost black. Her face wasn't as pale as either Bellatrix or Narcissa's. Maybe because she had not spent her life lost in the darkness. Physically she resembled Bellatrix. The same round curves and the same heavy lidded eyes but her nose and lips were identical to Narcissa. Narcissa's hair was blonde and only slightly wavy. It lacked the heavy curls both her sisters possessed.

"Mother and Father would turn around in their graves if they knew we would be moving back into that house after what we have done," Narcissa spoke for the first time and her eyes captured Bellatrix's for a brief second. "They would be ashamed."

"Really? I always used to think they adored having two of their daughters running around killing Muggles and Blood traitors" Bellatrix answered cynically as she carefully avoided mentioning the word Mudblood. She looked at Andromeda. "I suppose now they would hate all three of us. I'll bet Father really wished he'd had sons."

Narcissa stared at the table. She reminded Hermione of a scared and shy little girl, too afraid to look at the world for what it really was. She wanted to reach out and just take her hand briefly. Someone needs to reassure her it would be all right. Though she was not sure whether Narcissa would accept her, let alone believe her. Only then did Hermione see the tears that slid down Narcissa's face but she was the only one to see her cry. When Narcissa realized Hermione had seen her silent display of sadness she stood up from her seat and gathered the plates before carrying them to the sink. When she returned to the table her tears had dried and she avoided looking at Hermione.

~()~

Hermione laid her head to rest on Bellatrix's chest that night, listening to the steady beat of her heart. Bellatrix's fingers played with her hair and stroked the bare skin of her arms. Outside the summer heavens had opened and raindrops fell onto the roof over their heads. In the distance rumbled the thunder as it came steadily rolling in. She carefully pushed herself up and looked down at the woman who lay beside her. Bellatrix's face was partially lit up by the candle burning on the bedside table and she looked so beautiful.

"Bella?" Hermione whispered and Bellatrix opened her eyes to find Hermione looking down at her.

"Yes dear?"

"I," Hermione started but could not find what she wanted to say. There were no words for what she wanted. What she wanted was to feel. She leant in and kissed her lover intensely; different from any other kiss they had shared. She wanted to feel so much more. Something inside her had woken up, had set her insides on fire. She had never felt like this before. This excited. She felt warm, flushed. Her skin was glowing and her heart racing. Her pupils had slightly dilated.

Bellatrix willingly responded and she carefully pulled Hermione on top of her. Their bodies pressed tightly against each other, only separated by the fabric of their clothes. Hermione's fingers nervously peeled Bellatrix's silk dress from her skin and it fell to the floor. In the soft candle light Hermione found herself faced with the beautiful, naked body of Bellatrix Lestrange. Her black hair was spread over her pillow, her brown eyes looking up to Hermione.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Bellatrix whispered as she traced her fingers down Hermione's arms "We don't have to do this yet if you're not ready."

"I am ready," Hermione's eyes took in every piece of the beauty that lay before her. Bellatrix skin was beautifully soft and tender. Her breasts were firm and full with dark pink nipples. She straddled her, much like she had done earlier today, and allowed Bellatrix to remove her own pyjamas. For the first time she exposed her body to another. For the first time she allowed another to touch her. She watched as underneath her Bellatrix gasped for air at the sight of Hermione's naked breasts.

"You are so beautiful," she whispered before bringing herself up to a sitting position and capturing Hermione's hungry lips with her own. "I promise I will be gentle."

Bellatrix softly lay her down. She gently kissed the side of her neck before trailing down to her collarbone. Hermione shivered underneath the butterfly kisses as her body was touched for the first time. She closed her eyes as the sensation overwhelmed her. In the pit of her stomach a heat was rising like she had never felt before. She let her fingers disappear into Bellatrix's beautiful black hair as she arched her back when she felt Bellatrix's lips gently caress her breast.

"I-I don't know how to," Hermione whispered nervously when Bellatrix came back up to kiss her but the dark haired witch carefully placed a finger over Hermione's lips and Hermione fell silent. Bellatrix's fingers trailed down her arm and down her side before gently caressing her stomach. She had never felt body do all these things before. She had never known it was capable of feeling this way. Between her legs a warm, soft wetness was growing steadily as Bellatrix brushed her lips against her ear. She could do nothing more than moan and forgot where she was and who else was in the house with them this night.

"Do not worry love," Bellatrix hushed Hermione and let her tongue trace the shape of Hermione's lips before slowly letting it follow the trail of her skin. Beautiful skin that had never been touched by other hands before. Parts of Hermione's body that had never been seen by another's eyes. Never had it been touched. It all felt pure and true underneath her hands. Bellatrix kissed Hermione's breasts, nipples responded under her tender lips as her fingers trailed down her stomach. Hermione purred, her eyes closed as she arched her back when Bellatrix's hand cherished the inside of her thighs. And as Bellatrix's soft tender lips captured her own once again she felt how she slipped inside her and took the purity of her innocence.

Hermione never thought it would feel this way. She could feel Bellatrix move carefully inside her. She had read in books about sex, of course, but nothing had been able to prepare her for this feeling. The feeling that fell over her was overwhelming and it was as if all boundaries fell away. She could feel Bellatrix now deeply inside her, penetrating the soft wetness between her legs as she spread them further and she impatiently moaned for more. Bellatrix slowly moved away her lips from Hermione's whimpering mouth and nibbled on her collarbone before carefully kissing herself a way down her stomach.

She went lower and lower until she found herself at Hermione's wet folds. And as she tasted her and pleasured her she felt Hermione's nails dig deeply into her skin. The sensation of pain was her rush, the last bit she needed when she flicked her tongue around that so precious little button. She could feel the blood flown down her skin where Hermione had scratched her. Hermione arched her back while her body's responses became more urgent, pressing her pelvis tighter against Bellatrix as she shocked her body in a quicker, steady rhythm. She spread her legs further. A wave of sweetness touched Bellatrix's lips. A deep low moan fell over Hermione's lips before she suddenly cried out.

As she rode the waves of the beautiful sensation that was unleashed inside her Hermione felt the tears roll down her cheeks. Her breath chocked in her back of her throat, her heart raced in her chest and her muscles were still contracting. But she had fallen back into the pillows; strings of light brown hair stuck to her forehead and now felt those same fingers that had so tenderly made love to her seconds before brush them out of her eyes.

Hermione opened her eyes to find Bellatrix smiling sweetly before kissing her softly. She felt tired and satisfied and she crawled into the other woman's arm, her head once again resting on her now naked chest. Bellatrix held Hermione safely and listened as her breath changed before the younger witch fell asleep in her arms. She too closed her eyes and for the first time she felt complete happiness before she slipped into a world of dreams.

~()~

Outside the rain still poured and the thunder roared violently over the house while bright flashes of lightening shot through the sky, temporarily breaking the darkness. The house was covered in silence. It looked as if all its inhabitants were asleep. But one was not. She sat in her window and looked at the rain fall outside. Her blonde hair fell loosely down her shoulders. And Narcissa cried.

~()~

_**July 31st**_

Hermione nervously stood by the fireplace in the living room and turned around. She already held a hand full of Floo Powder but somehow hesitated to step into the soft green flames. Bellatrix stood right behind her and Hermione captured her eyes. "Are you sure you don't want to come? I am sure Mrs Weasley would be thrilled to see you again."

Bellatrix shook her head and brushed a string of Hermione's hair behind her ear. "You have not seen your friends for a long time, Hermione. I think it would be wise for me to remain here. There are many things you need to talk about and I do not want to be a burden on you."

"Do I look all right?" Hermione asked, almost surprised by her own question. She had never really been one to care about her appearance but it had been so long since she saw any of them. Who knew what they would be thinking about her. Bellatrix nodded as she looked at Hermione. She was dressed in black jeans and a white blouse, the first two buttons undone. Her light brown hair fell beautifully curled down her shoulders and around her neck hung the necklace she had given her earlier this morning.

"Beautiful as ever," Bellatrix answered and quickly kissed her. "Now go or you are going to be late and Molly will have my head on a platter if you miss the birthday cake. Come on, off you go" She gently pushed Hermione into the fire place and the green flames immediately roared up to Hermione's hip. She watched as Hermione dropped the powder into the flames, spoke loud and clearly when stated her destination. "The Burrow". And she was gone.

Bellatrix turned and left the room. She met Narcissa in the hallway and wondered how long she had been standing there. Alone, staring out of a window. She found her doing this a lot. But now that Bellatrix intruded on her silence Narcissa looked up. She faked a smile as she handed the envelope she had picked up from the mat a few minutes ago to her sister.

"Seems they want you at the Ministry," she commented and then walked away.

Bellatrix looked at the letter. Narcissa was right. It carried the logo of the Ministry. She tore the envelope open, unfolded the letter and read. Her eyes widened in shock as the message sunk in. Suddenly she felt a hand on her arm and when she looked up she found Narcissa had come back. She peered over Bellatrix's arm to read too and when she finished she looked at her sister.

"They want you to come and work for them? Did you apply?" Narcissa questioned surprised but Bellatrix shook her head. She did not remember sending any form of correspondence to the Ministry yet Kingsley Shacklebolt himself had now written to her, offering her a job at the Ministry to lead a new Department that was just set up and would involve developing strategies to smother any form of Dark magic before it could rise to any sense of power.

"I-I didn't," Bellatrix muttered, still surprised but then she met Narcissa's pale blue eyes. "But this is great. I mean, I never expected to become part of anything anymore. I thought no one would want me to work for them with my past. Seems I was wrong."

"So it seems," Narcissa's voice was soft. Her eyes riddled with confusion. "I suppose this will mean you and Hermione will definitely move down to London?"

Bellatrix felt a thrust of adrenaline shoot through her body. "Most likely." She looked at Narcissa. "The house is big enough for three, you know. I will speak with Hermione but personally I see no reason why you should not come back with us. And Draco, is he so wishes though I am sure he much rather live on his own by now. Cissy, would you?"

Narcissa's eyes had filled up once more. "I cannot make myself a burden on you and Hermione, Bella."

"You are no burden to me," Bellatrix answered and she knew she was not a burden to Hermione either. If anything, Hermione was worried sick about Narcissa. "Think about it. Now, I need to go and find Andromeda. I promised I would help her get dinner sorted. Why don't you go for a walk, Cissy. You could use with the fresh air."

And with that, Bellatrix left her younger sister and went off to find the other.

~()~

Hermione appeared in the fireplace in the living room of The Burrow. She immediately recognised the familiar shapes of Molly and Arthur Weasley. They had been expecting her. She stepped out of the fireplace and brushed the remaining bits of dust from her clothes. She felt odd, awkward as she stood before the two people who over the years had become her second parents. And since she had no idea where her real ones were, right now they were the closest thing to parents she knew.

"Hermione!" Mrs Weasley said happily and before Hermione realized she had been pulled into a warm embrace while Mr Weasley patted her friendly on the back. "Good Heavens, it has been ages since we last saw you. Let me have a look at you." Mrs Weasley held Hermione at an arm's length and looked at her from head to toe. "You look different." And with that she smiled. "Grown up. That's what you look like." She then glanced at the fireplace, half and half expecting the flames to turn green a second time but nothing happened. "Bellatrix not coming is she?"

Hermione shook her head. She was glowing with love for these two people. "No. We decided it would be best for me to go on my own. There are many things that need to be talked about, I suppose. I need to talk to Harry and Ron." She looked around. The living room was empty apart from the two Weasley's. "Where are they?"

"Outside. I think Ginny is helping them lay the tables. The rest of the visitors will not arrive until tonight" Mrs Weasley said and she and her husband watched as Hermione walked through the living room and then through the kitchen before exiting the house. Outside, she was greeted by the familiar sound of Ron's voice moaning about the work his mother had asked him to do, while Harry and Ginny sat at the table. Ginny on Harry's lap. Clearly, they had worked things out.

"I thought I heard the subtle tones of your voice, Ronald," she spoke from the open door and her three friends looked up. "Some things never change."

The three of them jumped up but Ron was the first one to reach her. He hugged her tightly before letting go to make room for both Harry and Ginny. Once they had finished their hugs and handshakes they all just stood together, looking at each other. It felt as if it had been so much longer than a month they had not seen each other though Hermione knew it was only a short while. And at that same moment she realized the last time they had all been together in the garden like this was the day of the wedding. The day they went on the run. And she knew from the looks in their eyes, they remembered too. It was Ginny who eventually broke the silence and made them focus on the present. "So, how have you been? And even more important, where the hell have you been?"

Hermione smiled as she sat herself down at one of the long tables that had been organised outside. Ron, Harry and Ginny sat down on the opposite side and all looked at her. And just like that it felt like nothing had ever changed. She was unsure who laughed first but whoever it was made the others laugh and for minutes only the sound of their laughter was carried on by the soft wind that caressed their hair. When the giggles eventually subsided Hermione played with the necklace around her neck before she spoke.

"After the battle, I stayed in Hogsmeade for a few days. Bella and I helped rebuild the castle before we left. We've been living at Andromeda's cottage ever since. Though I must say it has been very crowded," Hermione answered and she caught Harry's eyes. He looked healthy. Behind his glasses his emerald green eyes sparkled and he looked happier than she ever remembered seeing him. His hand rested on Ginny's. Ron's younger sister was glowing and only now did Hermione realize she had grown up so much. And Ron was still Ron. His hair a little bit longer and she had to admit it didn't look bad at him. He reminded her of Charlie now.

"It can't be any more crowded than this place during Christmas," Ron joked and nodded in the direction of the house "And I suppose with everybody bringing their other halves along from now on I think mom and dad will need to build a few extra rooms."

"Who else is living with you then?" Harry wanted to know and Hermione realized they didn't know about Narcissa and Draco. She tried to think of a way to bring this in such a way none of them would either be shocked or sickened.

"Well, there is Andromeda and baby Teddy. And then there is me and Bella. And then there is Narcissa and Draco." She watched their faces for their reaction but was surprised when the ones of shock did not appear. Harry's eyes somehow lit up and he shared a look with Ginny and Ron which told Hermione they knew something she didn't. "Bella brought them there the night of the Battle. Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

"I suppose Narcissa won't have told you," Harry said and he captured Hermione's eyes, green piercing into brown "The night Voldemort tried to kill me at Hogwarts, he ordered Narcissa to check if I was still alive. She felt my heart beat, Hermione. She knew I was alive. But she lied to Voldemort to save me. I do think she did it for her own sake too, she wanted to find Draco. But she lied to the one wizard who would have killed her in an instant. She saved my life that night."

"Seems the Black sisters have a knack for doing the right thing eventually," Ginny said and glanced at Hermione "That is a beautiful necklace, Hermione." She leant forward for a closer look. On the silver necklace hung what appeared to be a custom made heart. Its core was red but the rest of it was black. "Is that a ruby with black diamonds?"

Hermione blushed as Ginny recognised the gemstones that the gift Bellatrix had given her was made off. She nodded.

"Bella gave it to me this morning," she said softly "Together with this". She stuck her hand in her pocket and from it she took a small box. "She wishes you a happy birthday, Harry." She gave the box to Harry and from the bag that lay beside her she took her own gift. She watched as Harry opened Bellatrix's present and she could see his eyes widen behind his glasses. She smiled to herself. She knew Bellatrix's gift would touch him.

"Hermione," Harry whispered as she held up the bracelet. It was heavy and chunky and decorated with the same black diamonds as her necklace. The difference was that her necklace was new where Harry's bracelet was quite a few years old. "This must have cost her a fortune. I can't..."

"You must, Harry," Hermione answered and then took the box from which he had taken the bracelet. From under the soft, velvet cushion she took a picture and showed it to him. It was a picture of Sirius, around the same age as Harry was now. His thick brown hair fell wavy down his shoulders and Azkaban had not yet robbed him from his handsomeness. But it wasn't the handsomeness Hermione wanted to show Harry. It was the bracelet Sirius wore on his wrist. "When he was captured, Bellatrix took it. She had been the one who gave it to him, many years earlier. And she kept it all this time, Harry. And now she is giving it to you."

When her eyes met Harry's again she could see the tears in those emerald eyes whilst he carefully put the bracelet on his wrist. It was a perfect fit. He was lost for words. "Tell her... Tell her I said thank you" Hermione nodded at this request and then handed him her own gift. It wasn't as valuable as what Bellatrix had given him but she knew that in his heart, it would mean just the same. She watched as Harry unwrapped it. He picked up the heavy leather bound book she had given him and when he opened it she watched how his face changed.

He turned the pages, his eyes glowing every time he found something new. Hermione had given him a picture album. It was filled with all sorts of pictures. Everything from the year they met till the year they fought their biggest battle yet. But there weren't just pictures of them. There were funny pictures of Harry, a rather unusual one of Minerva McGonnagal actually smiling and a picture of Albus Dumbledore during one of his famous start of term speeches. There were pictures of Ginny, Neville, Luna, Seamus, Dean and all the others. Pictures of the Weasley family, of Hedwig and everything and everybody else that had ever mattered in Harry's life. In his hand he held his life captured in beautiful memories and when he looked up to Hermione she could see she had been right. It had found its way straight into his heart.

"This is beautiful, Hermione," he said and reached for her hand over the table. She took it and the four of them sat as they looked at the pictures together, giggling and laughing occasionally.

They talked and laughed as if nothing had ever changed. Ron updated Hermione on the latest changes in Quidditch whereas Harry and Ginny told her how they had decided to pick their relationship back up and that Harry had been living at The Burrow with them ever since. But as they caught up on things suddenly all of them were confronted by the one thing they had not talked about. It happened when George appeared and walked over to the table. He hugged Hermione and sat himself down. Subconsciously she looked for his twin and the realization that Fred would never join them hit her hard. When she looked at the others she knew they had felt it too.

"I know you don't know what to say, Hermione. And I am grateful you are not trying. Many people try and their attempts appear to useless and so empty. As if they have to say something," Ron said and Hermione realized how he had grown up in such a short time. "Sometimes it is better to say nothing."

"How are your mum and dad?" Hermione asked and felt George stir beside her.

"Mum still cries sometimes. Mostly when she thinks we can't hear her. I think dad is dealing with it in his own way. But both are proud. And I am proud for having had him as my brother," George answered and with a flick of his wand he summoned five bottles of Butterbeer from the kitchen. They all took one and raised their bottles. "To Fred!"

And in chorus they all answered. "To Fred!"


	18. Lightening Falling Through The Clouds

_Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart__  
(Kahlil Gibran)_

_My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there __  
(Charles F. Kettering)_

* * *

Evening had fallen and the big celebrations of Harry's birthday had really started to take form. Tables were filled with foods and drinks whilst George had set off some of the magical fireworks from the joke shop. Molly had baked Harry a glorious looking birthday cake with golden snitches and a wand. It had three different layers and looked like it could win the prize for Best Cake of the Year.

A pile or presents lay on the table and it was increasing steadily as more visitors arrived. It was the first time since the Battle at Hogwarts that Hermione found herself reunited with many of her friends and other familiar faces.

"Hermione!" Hagrid's voice alone was enough to make the Burrow shake and she ran over to him, throwing herself into his arms. Hagrid's massive arms and hands the size of plates hugged her and for several seconds Hermione had completely disappeared. Hermione was almost completely buried in his thick coat. His beard tickled her head and she looked up. His eyes sparkled.

"Hagrid! It's so good to see you again!" she said with a wide smile. Tears had welled up in her eyes when he let go of her and suddenly did she realize how much she had missed him. "How have you been?"

But before Hagrid got a chance to answer more visitors arrived. It was a group of them this time. Seamus, Dean, Luna and Neville had all appeared outside the back garden gate of the Burrow and ran towards Harry, Ron and Hermione. They shared hugs, laughed and just looked at each other for minutes on end as if being here all together was a dream. They had not seen each other since Voldemort's fall. They did not need to say much. They all understood what they wanted to say but no one could find the words.

"Is Bellatrix with you?" Luna asked in her usual dreamy voice and the little blonde girl looked around the garden. Hermione had noticed several people had done the same at their arrival. She knew people were all looking for Bellatrix and every time she had to explain once again why she wasn't here.

"No, we decided it was best for me to go alone. I had not seen Harry or Ron and or any of you for so long," Hermione answered and she looked at Luna. She had grown quite attached to the strange blonde girl with her funny earrings and strange necklaces, random comments that contained more wisdom than one would realize at first glance and a dreamy smile. "But I will be returning to her after tonight. We are looking into moving down to London."

She had not mentioned this to Ron or Harry yet but now it suddenly popped up in the conversation. Ron's eyes widened and he glanced at Harry and Ginny before his eyes caught Hermione's. Even Seamus, Dean and Luna appeared surprised at her statement of moving away to London to live with Bellatrix. "So are you not returning to Hogwarts for your seventh year after the summer then?"

Hermione hadn't given that possibility a single thought yet. She had not considered returning to Hogwarts at all since the Battle. She, Harry and Ron never did their seventh year and many of their classmates never finished and the classes they had taken had not been very good. She looked at Harry and Ron. "Are you guys going back?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, we agreed on it two days ago. Mrs Weasley has spoken to McGonnagal and there will be special places for all of those who wish to return and take their seventh year." He glanced at Luna, Seamus and Dean. They nodded. They were returning too. "I cannot even imagine you are not returning."

"I need to talk to Bella I suppose," Hermione whispered and she just looked into the distance. The sun had set and the final rays of orange sunshine had disappeared behind the hills. Magically lit candles lit the garden now that darkness approached. She would love to return to Hogwarts and finish her magical education. She had often thought about becoming an Auror or a Healer while she was still in school. She wondered whether Bellatrix would understand. It would mean changing their plans about moving to London, postponing their future, and she ran a hand through her hair. Suddenly the face of Narcissa appeared before her eyes and she shook her head. "I wonder if Draco will return as well."

"Do you think he'd have the guts to show his face?" Seamus asked with his Irish accent "He will probably be hexed before he's even made it through the door! I don't think many Slytherins will return. I wonder how many of their parents will rot in a cell in Azkaban for the next few years."

"Potter!"

It was Minerva McGonnagal calling out from the open door of the Burrow and the bunch of Hogwarts students all turned around. It was as if hearing their teacher's voice sparked the obedience they had always shown her in school and like one front they all turned to face her. But McGonnagal was not here as their teacher tonight and she strode across the grass before she held still in front of Harry. Completely unexpected, she hugged the green eyed boy and Harry felt somewhat uncomfortable when his Head of House – and now Headmistress of Hogwarts- hugged him so intimately.

Behind him the other shared amused looks and Seamus whispered something to Ron that sounded an awfully lot like "Ginny had better be careful."

When McGonnagal had let go of Harry she warmly greeted the others before she focused on Hermione, who was the last one to meet the blue eyes behind McGonagall's glasses.. She captured the young witch's eyes and her lips curled up into a brief smile. Her words were soft and gentle." Hermione, would it be possible for me to have a word with you?"

Hermione nodded, ignoring the questioning looks that were sent to her by Harry, Ron and Ginny and followed McGonnagal to a remote part of the garden. They were out of sight and out of hearing range and Hermione pushed her hand into the pocket of her jeans. It was only then she saw the worried look in those blue eyes and she wondered what was going on. "Professor, what is it?"

"Nothing really, Hermione, I was just wondering how Bellatrix is getting on?" Minerva looked slightly worried and she watched Hermione from head to toe. The brown haired witch looked good and healthy, radiating some kind of gentle warmth. Her hair had grown and become curlier and suddenly she looked nothing like the teenager she remembered Hermione to be in school but like a young, grown up woman ready to take on life as it was heading straight towards her. "And I know your friends are returning to Hogwarts after summer but I have not heard anything about you. Do you wish to return, Hermione?"

"I do, but I need to talk to Bellatrix. We were looking into moving to London," Hermione smiled carefully "But I do wish to fulfil my education. And she is doing quite all right. Though I know she is becoming somewhat desperate to make herself more useful. I think she would like to take part more in the Wizarding world the way it is now. And she is worried about Narcissa and Draco."

Suddenly McGonnagal took Hermione's hand and caught Hermione's eyes once again. Hermione saw the warmth behind them and suddenly recognised Minerva for the woman she was instead of the somewhat cold, distant witch that had been her teacher in school. "I admire you, Hermione Granger. You have done things over the past year no one will ever be able to fully comprehend. I admire your honesty and your devotion. The thing separating you from all your friends over there is that you have taken steps they have not."

Hermione felt her cheeks and ears turn red and she averted her eyes. She suddenly felt shy. McGonnagal smiled as over their heads more fireworks went off and some people cheered. Music blasted from an invisible stereo that had suddenly been switched on. "I shall no longer hold you away from your friends and a well-deserved party, Miss Granger."

She strolled away towards Molly and Arthur Weasley and Hermione followed but joined Harry, Ron and Ginny and the others. Ron passed her a bottle of Butterbeer and they toasted to Harry's health and the defeat of Voldemort. And as over their heads the stars sparkled like untouchable diamonds in the sky the people underneath them partied and finally felt the freedom of truly being released from the darkness and evil had that had kept them prisoner for so long.

~()~

It was late when Hermione staggered back into the Burrow's living room. She may have had a few Butter beers too many and somehow the world felt like a bouncing castle. Behind her she could still the laughter from Bill, Fleur and Ginny and Mr and Mrs Weasley. They were all still sitting outside. She has said goodbye to Harry before he had walked Luna home, who lived not far from the Weasley's. Now she found herself alone in the living room of the house where she had spent many of her summers with her friends and suddenly she realized no more summers would be spend here. No more afternoons playing Quidditch in the garden, no more evenings hurdled up in Ron's room discussing their classes, teachers and Voldemort's actions. She closed her eyes as she carefully breathed in the atmosphere and cherished the memories The Burrow held.

"Are you all right?" Ron asked and her eyes flashed back open. She had not heard him follow her and felt caught.

"Yeah, I was just thinking," Hermione said as her eyes wandered around the living room "We have had some pretty amazing times here, haven't we?" She met Ron's eyes and he slowly nodded.

"Yes, we most definitely have. Isn't it strange how suddenly we have grown up so fast?" Ron asked and Hermione wondered when he had grown up like this. Has this happened right in front of her eyes without her seeing it? "Suddenly we are seventeen, eighteen. We have destroyed Voldemort and now we are expected to make a life for ourselves. One day we will wake up and find we have a house, a family, children maybe."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. Ron was talking very deep stuff here.

"Ronald, you are an extraordinary young man," she complimented him and when she saw his cheeks flush red she briefly smiled. "And I wish that I didn't hurt you the way I did when we were travelling. Bella and I, we are trying to come to terms with things and I understand you must do so too. I never meant to hurt you Ron but I suppose it just wasn't meant to be the way we both thought it was going to be."

Ron's eyes captured Hermione's and he stepped a bit closer to her, taking one of her hands into his own. He looked at her. "I have accepted things, Hermione. I have opened my eyes and see I have to move on in life. Like Ginny once did when it came to Harry, before all of this came to an end, I now too have moved on. And I just want you to know that I would love it if you came to Hogwarts with me and Harry. Things will finally be different and maybe we will have a quiet year for once."

Hermione fought her tears as Ron's words sank into her. He was telling her he loved her regardless of what she did in live and he told her he had moved away from his hurt and pain. "You really have grown up, Ronald".

Behind her, the flames in the fireplace turned green – announcing it was ready for her to travel. She stepped into the flames, taking a full hand of Floo Powder. She looked at Ron one last time before dropping the powder into the flames, stating her destination loud and clear and seconds later the image of Ronald Weasley was deformed into a blur of green flames and seconds later, Andromeda's living room appeared. Hermione sighed, patted the dust of her clothes and stepped into the living room. She looked around. The room was empty. She carefully climbed the stairs and peered around the bedroom door. Bellatrix was asleep. She silently undressed and then slipped into the bed beside her lover, burying her head in Bellatrix's black curls and wrapping her arm around her waist. But she didn't fall asleep. She lay in the darkness as she listened to Bellatrix sleep.

~()~

"Bella, can we talk?" Hermione asked the next morning when Bellatrix had woken up and they lay snuggled in each other's arms. Bella had buried her fingers in Hermione's hair and just pulled back her lips from kissing the side of the younger woman's neck. "It's important"

"Sure. What is it, love?" Bellatrix inquired and looked at Hermione. "Something wrong?"

"No, not really. Not at all even," Hermione stuttered as she tried to think of a way to tell Bellatrix she wanted. "Last night, at the party, we were all talking." She felt silent for a second. "And McGonnagal came to speak to me. They all asked whether I'd be returning this year, to Hogwarts, I mean. To finish my seventh year." She swallowed and looked away; somehow she didn't wish to make eye contact.

"Do you wish to return?" Bellatrix asked softly as she brushed her fingertips against Hermione's cheek. "I know how much your academic dreams mean to you, Hermione."

"I-I do want to go back but what about moving to London? What about the house? What about us?" Hermione asked all her questions in one breath and caught Bellatrix's eyes. Those intense and amazing charcoal eyes. So beautiful and so hypnotizing, so tender and so warm. "If I go back to Hogwarts I can only see you during the holidays!"

"Hermione, if you want to finish your studies at Hogwarts you must do so and fulfil your dreams. Your dreams are my dreams, Hermione. Out future will still be ours, even if you return to school" Bellatrix whispered her words softly into Hermione's hair "And there is something I wanted to talk to you about. It's about the house. I have spoken with Narcissa. There is an awful lot of room to be occupied by simply one person, especially if you are at school. Would you mind if Narcissa shared the house with us, if just for a little while?"

"Of course not!" Hermione sat up and looked at Bellatrix. "I think it would be good for Narcissa to be with you, to have someone around her when..." She frowned. "Is Draco going back?"

"He might," Bellatrix answered and suddenly she smiled. "There is something else I wanted you to see." She took the envelope she had received the day before and passed the letter to Hermione. She watched as Hermione's eyes read the lines that had opened a new world to her. Hermione's face lit up as the message sank into her and when she put the letter down she simply looked at her lover before wrapping her arms around her.

"This is fantastic Bella! They offered you a job!" Hermione planted a kiss somewhere on Bellatrix's neck; taking in the sweet sense of her skin and feeling her curls tickle her face. She snuggled herself a bit closer to the other woman's body, feeling the round curves of Bellatrix's breasts press against her own "You are going to do so well! I just know you are going to be brilliant!"

"Hmmmmm" Bellatrix muttered as she brushed her lips against whatever piece of bare flesh she could find, her lips carefully trailing he tender skin it found. Hermione groaned softly underneath her loving before letting her hands slip underneath Bellatrix's shirt and finding the round, firm curves of her breasts. She grinned mischievously when she felt nipples harden under her fingers. Bellatrix's eyes captured Hermione before her lips found Hermione's and kissed her. Hermione eagerly answered the passionate kiss, carefully laying herself down on top of Bellatrix. The older woman willingly let her body be explored by nervous hands.

Hermione had seen Bellatrix naked. The morning after Bellatrix first made love to her she had watched her. Every piece of her body she took in. She watched her when she got dressed; carefully covering up the beautiful sculpture of art that she was before brushing her heavy curls. But not yet had she touched this body like she did now. Her fingers carefully traced the hard nipples before caressing the swell of her breasts. Bellatrix softly moan when tender hands touched her flesh.

Hermione's hands slowly explored their way downwards, her index finger playfully tickling Bellatrix's bellybutton. She helped herself out of her nightgown, pulling the cotton over her head and once again sharing the amazing sight of her body with her lover. But when Bellatrix reached up to cup Hermione's breasts the young witch grabbed her wrists and pinned them down at either side of Bellatrix's head, leaning forwards and breathing against her skin. "My darling Bella, this morning it is all about self-control."

Where did Hermione learn to be so in control, so strong and powerful? Bellatrix saw the lust flicker in Hermione's eyes as Hermione's slim fingers slipped from her wrists, down her arms and down the sides of her body. She shivered. Hermione carefully kissed Bellatrix's breast bone, nibbling her way down across the swell of her breast before allowing her lips to close around one of the hardened nipples whilst her other cupped the other breast, teasing the nipple as she did so.

"Oh Hermione," Bellatrix moaned in pleasure as she carefully arched her back when she felt how Hermione' s hand that cherished her breast slid down her stomach towards her thighs.

"I am not sure if I will do this right," Hermione whispered and carefully Bellatrix's fingers closed around Hermione's wrist as she guided her down further until Hermione's fingers were pleasantly greeted by a soft, warm moist that was waiting for her. Ready to be touched. Hermione shivered as Bellatrix placed her fingers at her entrance.

"Just do what you think is right," Bellatrix breathed heavily against Hermione's chest as she lifted up her head and suddenly she flinched when she felt how Hermione entered her. Hermione gasped when she felt the intense warmth that came from her lover, the soft wetness that came from her core and she thrusted her fingers a little deeper. Underneath her Bellatrix squirmed softly, a soft moan rolling over her lips.

And Hermione made love to Bellatrix for the first time. For the first time she touched and loved the body of another person, another woman. She gained her confidence as she thrusted firmer, Bellatrix whimpering in pleasure underneath her and Hermione felt how a smile fell over her lips. She kissed Bellatrix's glowing skin, captured her hot lips with her own and let her teeth graze against her neck. Bellatrix's moans became louder as she spread her legs further, pressing herself more urgently against Hermione as she did so.

She felt so confident she trailed herself a way down Bellatrix's stomach, kneeling between her legs. The first taste was glorious. She had never felt or tasted anything like this before. Honey and strawberries, the beautiful flavour of love. And she tasted more eagerly, Bellatrix now whimpering and moaning louder as she did so. She found her way to where she was most desired, finding a skill inside herself she never even knew she had. And she knew she was doing it right for Bellatrix's hand disappeared into her curls, pressing her head firmer against where it was most desired. Her pelvis shook and Hermione felt Bellatrix tighten around her. The flow of juices overwhelmed her when the trembling over Bellatrix overpowered her. As she moved away she watched at the beautiful sight of the woman she loved riding the waves of ultimate release.

She cradled herself beside her, placing her head on Bellatrix's chest and felt how her heart slowly eased. Bellatrix turned her head, her eyes finding Hermione. She kissed the side of her temple.

"That was amazing," she whispered as she let her finger trail down Hermione's arm. She smiled when she saw how Hermione blushed. "And I shall miss it when you return to Hogwarts but then we have a whole life to enjoy each other."

~()~

Bellatrix walked into the kitchen, following the smell of fresh bacon and eggs. Hermione was still taking a shower and took her time to get ready. Bellatrix's curls were still damp and she smelled of soft roses and vanilla. She was expecting to find Andromeda cooking breakfast but was surprised when she found Narcissa. Her youngest sister turned around, holding a fork in her hand and her eyes met Bellatrix's. She didn't smile but Bellatrix saw the familiar sparkle in her eyes she had not seen since they were children.

"You must learn to be more quiet, my dear Bella," Narcissa said playfully before returning to her cooking. Bellatrix had frozen in the doorway as she turned the deep red colour of a tomato. She had forgotten, in the heat of the moment, she and Hermione shared this house with more people. She reminded herself that if they were to live with Narcissa in London she had to cast the Muffliato Spell at her bedroom door.

Minutes later Hermione too walked into the kitchen and Narcissa looked up once again. Bellatrix had not expected her sister to make another comment and she didn't. She just glared from one to the other. But Hermione spoke to Narcissa and Bellatrix thought it better to leave them alone. Hermione and Narcissa were still trying to get used to each other's company.

"Mrs Malfoy?" Hermione asked carefully, causing Narcissa to turn around. Both her eyebrows rose up when Hermione addressed her so formally. Hermione did not know what else to call her. She called Andromeda by her first name, and sometimes even her nicknames, but she had not spoken much to Narcissa Malfoy and was unsure how to address her at this present moment in time.

"Yes, Hermione?" Narcissa answered softly.

"I-I wanted to ask you if Draco going back to Hogwarts for his seventh year?" Hermione asked and saw how Narcissa's eyes widened briefly before her eyebrows came down and everything about her physical appearance relaxed. "I have spoken to some of the students and many are returning. I am going back myself too."

"Very wise of you, Hermione. You have a good set of brains, or so I have been told," Narcissa said and Hermione believed immediately that before the rise of Voldemort Draco must have complained to his mother numerous times about how clever the stupid Mudblood was. Yet she considered Narcissa saying it at this moment a compliment. "I must say I am not sure about my son's wishes considering his magical education."

"I think he should return. People will understand. And Draco, he is not a bad boy," Hermione had said it before she even realized it fully and in Narcissa's eyes shimmered the tears. "He will have a better chance of a good future if he returns. Maybe you should discuss it with him, Mrs Malfoy."

"Call me Narcissa, or Cissy. I shall not be Mrs Malfoy for much longer," Narcissa answered, clearly touched by Hermione's kind words. "I have consulted my solicitors and the papers for the divorce have been sent to Lucius. He will have no choice but to sign them." She paused, her eyes capturing Hermione and she weakly smiled. "Did Bella mention about the house, in London?"

"Yes, she did," Hermione answered and she smiled "And I would definitely not mind if you were to move in with us. And even Draco, if he does not return."

Narcissa smiled softly. "You are one extraordinary young woman, Hermione Granger. And I think I am beginning to understand why my sister loves you. Now, would you like to help me finish cooking breakfast or else it will end up being lunch." And Hermione helped. She and Narcissa didn't speak but being in the kitchen together and working together strengthened the bond that slowly started to form.

~()~

As August arrived and also passed away and the late summer sun became less vivid, Hermione found herself carrying a box into the house that was to become her new home. Behind her walked Narcissa, she too carried a box. From an open window upstairs called Bellatrix and Hermione smiled when she stepped into the hall. She had walked in and out of this house for the past hour, carrying and moving around boxes and several items of furniture. 14 Shelton Road was an old Victorian townhouse in the middle of London. It had beautiful large bay windows which filled the rooms with sunlight, four large bedrooms, a dining room, two bathrooms, a kitchen and a sitting room. It would offer enough privacy for each of the inhabitants and at the same time the opportunity to live together.

Hermione found it hard to believe she was standing in the living room of the house where Bellatrix had once grown up. Unlike 12 Grimmauld Place, this house no longer bore the marks of dark wizards ever living here. Bellatrix and Narcissa had both seen to that in the weeks leading up to the move. Now the walls were painted in lovely, warm colours and the sun fell through the windows. Heavy curtains reached down to the floor. The paintings that once hung on these walls and under loud protest had been stuffed into boxes after which Narcissa had casted a well-practiced Silencing spell.

"This was my bedroom," Bellatrix whispered as she wrapped her arms around Hermione's waist when the young witch walked into the room. "I often sat in this window, looking at the world outside and wondered what it would be like to truly be free."

"You no longer need to wonder about freedom as freedom has found you," Hermione smiled and at that same moment Narcissa walked in. She would from now on occupy the room down the hall. The bedroom that once used to be hers when she was a child. Her blonde hair appeared to be glowing in the late afternoon sun that fell into the room. She smiled when she found Bellatrix and Hermione together.

"Hermione, I have arranged for you to go to Diagon Alley tomorrow. Some of your things for Hogwarts should be ready to be picked up by tomorrow morning," Narcissa said friendly and suddenly Hermione realized she was supposed to travel on the Hogwarts Express only three days from now. She glanced at Bellatrix, who pulled a face. "I know Bella has to meet Kingsley at the Ministry tomorrow so unless you wish to visit Diagon Alley alone I could accompany if you wish so."

"I would love to, Cissy," Hermione answered and suddenly she yawned, causing both Black sisters to laugh. Downstairs they heard the shuffling footsteps that belonged to Draco and the three of them left the bedroom and made their way down stairs. As the other three made their way into the kitchen, Hermione walked to the window and looked outside. London was moving by outside and she sat down in the windowsill to watch the men, women and children outside. Suddenly she felt incredibly lonely. Her eye caught a man and woman and a little brown haired girl with playful curls and she wondered, for the first time in months, about her parents.

She brushed a stray tear from her cheek and tried to focus on her return to Hogwarts in three days, being reunited with her friends and teachers at the castle that had always been her second home. Tomorrow, she would visit Diagon Alley. She wondered what it would be like, now that Voldemort was gone. During his time of power it was as abandoned and dark as Knockturn Alley. But most of all, Hermione focused on the future that lay ahead of her; a future in this house with Bellatrix.

Together.


	19. Underneath The Pale Blue Sky

_The return makes one love the farewell_  
_(Alfred De Musset)_

* * *

Hermione woke the next morning in the room that was still unfamiliar to her, in a bed she barely knew. She was alone yet the pillow still carried the familiar scent of Bella's body. She sat up, wrapping the sheets around her body. The sun fell through a little crack in the curtains. The soft beams cherished her light brown hair. She carefully put her feet on the floor and walked around the bed. Only then did her eye fall upon the note that lay on Bella's pillow and while her lips curled up into a smile, Hermione climbed back on the bed and picked up the piece of parchment. She recognised Bellatrix's curly handwriting.

_My beloved Hermione,__  
you are so beautiful and peaceful when you sleep. I can sit and watch you forever, if I could.__  
I am meeting Kingsley this morning at the Ministry. I don't think I will be home until tea time. I hope you have a good day with Narcissa. I wish I could spend today with you. These final hours before you return to Hogwarts make me realize how precious every minute spend with you really is.__  
I love you. Always.__  
Bella _

There was a soft knock on the bedroom door and Hermione looked over her shoulder to see the door open. Narcissa carefully peered around it and found Hermione sitting on the bed. "I see you have awoken" She carefully smiled. "You must hurry, Hermione. It is nearly eleven. Bella told me not to wake you when she left. I will meet you downstairs once you are ready". She closed the door softly once again and Hermione climbed off the bed, gathered some clothes and ran to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

Only twenty minutes later, and with her hair still wet, Hermione ran down the stairs and found Narcissa waiting for her in the living room. She was already wearing her cloak and carried a small pouch. She had not bound her hair back in a bun for a change. It fell wavy down her back, down the sides of her face and somehow she looked much warmer than Hermione had ever seen her.

"That was quick," Narcissa nodded approvingly and she quickly took in Hermione's appearance. She was wearing pale blue jeans that were torn above her left knee and a black top that was just about long enough to hide her stomach. The necklace Bellatrix had given her hung around her neck and she carried her bag around her shoulder. Her hair was still wet and therefore even curlier. "Well, I suppose we might as well go."

The two witches left the house and Hermione looked around. She was still trying to get used to living in the middle of London. Narcissa had already made her way down the steps that lead to the sidewalk and Hermione took a quick run to catch up with her. They walked side by side, silently, as they made their way across London until they reached the Leaky Cauldron. Only then did Hermione realize they could have Apparated but she didn't get a chance to ask Narcissa why they hadn't. They made their way through the bar. It was mostly empty. The bartender, a wizard named Tom, was still there and he threw a curious look at Narcissa Malfoy and an even more curious look at the Muggle born Hermione Granger. Their appearance together was somewhat strange to many.

Minutes later they were standing in Diagon Alley. Hermione was surprised to see how so many of the shops that had been boarded up while Voldemort was in power were now open once again. A smile fell across her lips when she found Ollivander's wand shop had opened and when she saw the wand maker through the window she raised her hand and waved. HE recognised her and waved back, but his face froze when he saw Narcissa stand behind her. It was as if the two people shared a look Hermione didn't see. Narcissa's eyes lost their sparkle for those seconds she looked at Olivander and when she looked away the smile that had lingered on her lips when she entered Diagon Alley, had disappeared.

"You require your books and supplies," Narcissa said simply and nodded in the direction of the bookshop where all students bought their books "Some new robes would do you good as well. And, perhaps, an owl?" Hermione realized she no longer had Crookshanks so the thought of buying a new pet filled the empty hole that had been left behind by her cat.

"Why did you not take Draco?" Hermione questioned as she had Narcissa had queued so Hermione could pay for her schoolbooks. It had not stayed unnoticed to Hermione how many people still glanced at Narcissa in contempt whereas they looked at Hermione in admiration. The pair of them together raised whispers loud of enough to hear but too soft to understand. Narcissa looked at Hermione beside her and her pale blue eyes met Hermione's brown ones.

"He wished to go alone," she answered simply and Hermione pulled a face. Of course. She had looked forward to going to Diagon Alley with Narcissa but so far the experience had not been anything like she had hoped it would be. The warmth she had felt from Narcissa earlier seemed to have disappeared. Nothing in her face reminded her of the woman she had seen around the house this morning, the woman she had been living with side by side for months. It seemed that being outside brought out the cold, distant Narcissa she had always known her to be. Her face a cold, plain mask and her eyes reflecting no emotion. It was at this moment Hermione had no trouble understanding why so many had called her the Ice Queen.

"Come on, I will buy you a drink," Hermione said when they eventually left Flourish & Blotts and she placed her hand on Narcissa's arm briefly. Just as she had spoken those words they were approached by two young men, dressed in their Hogwarts robes. The lion on their chest betrayed their Gryffindor background. Narcissa didn't flinch.

"Hermione!" said Seamus before glancing at Narcissa but he did not bother even acknowledging her presence. Hermione thought it was rude and glared hopefully at Dean to see whether he would have more decency than his best friend. Her hope was wasted. Dean only spoke to her and behind her Hermione felt Narcissa nervously move around a bit, as if she tried to get away but couldn't.

"Hi Seamus, Dean," Hermione said as she clenched her teeth together "Sorry guys, I would love to talk and stuff but I have got things I need to do. I'll see you on the train, ok?" She turned around, her eyes capturing Narcissa, who had realized Hermione had ditched her friends because of her and she looked surprised. "Come on Cissy, we have got things to buy." She didn't bother looking back at Seamus and Dean but felt their eyes stare in her back.

"Hermione, you needn't have done that," Narcissa said softly when she and Hermione had walked on a bit further and took the younger witch's arms "I do not wish for you to abandon your friends as to accompany me."

"They are stupid, Cissy. They cannot see things the way they are. You should have heard them talk about Draco and how he would be too scared to return to Hogwarts," Hermione's eyes were glowing dangerously and she looked up to Narcissa "Listen, people will have to understand things are changed. People have changed. I know they talk about me, behind my back. How can a friend of Harry Potter possibly love a former Death Eater like Bellatrix?"

Narcissa didn't answer. She was touched by Hermione's kindness and she willingly allowed Hermione to drag her into one of the little pubs around the corner. They found a table in the back and sat themselves down after Hermione had ordered them to cups of hot tea. They sat in silence, Narcissa nervously playing with her hands. Then slowly, she looked up.

"Listen, Hermione. What happened that night..." Narcissa stuttered and Hermione immediately understood Narcissa was talking about the events at Malfoy Manor. "I want to..."

Hermione grasped Narcissa's hand, causing the blonde women to look up and find her eyes. "You don't have to say it, Cissy. I know. And I cannot even begin to understand how torn you must feel. But I know what you did what you had to do to protect your family in those dark times." Her words were warm, calming and soothing. She felt Narcissa's hand shake underneath her own. "I do not hold grudges, Cissy. I never have done. You too lost in your attempts to find your way out of the dark."

Tears had welled up in Narcissa's blue eyes. "I remember the day I first met you, Hermione. Remember the Quidditch World Cup, three years ago?"

Hermione had never forgotten that night though not because of meeting Narcissa. It was the night they were first confronted with the Dark Mark, with Death Eaters setting the camp site on fire and it was the year Voldemort returned and Cedric Diggory was killed. She nodded, looking away from Narcissa. She realized the encounters she had with Narcissa had never been friendly, always filled with resentment and contempt. From both sides. It made it even stranger to now sit here with her.

"There is something I would like to know," Hermione asked carefully and Narcissa noticed how she did not make eye contact. "Where did you get your wand during the Battle? I know Draco had yours which left you wandless but when the Battle broke out, where did you get your wand from?"

"I stole it from another Death Eater after I knocked him out," Narcissa grinned and when Hermione's eyes widened in surprise "As it was not my own wand, it failed to hit Bella with the Killing Curse. I had no idea why I even did that. Desperation maybe. She never asked. I never thought about it since. I remember being angry at her. She had what I wanted. She was free. She had someone that loved her. A reason to walk away from it all. You know, I never stopped loving my sister, no matter what other say."

"Dromeda?" Hermione asked and Narcissa nodded.

"We had to disown her. It were the rules in our family. But rules do not control one's heart, Hermione. I had to close my mind and my heart from the Dark Lord and eventually it just became something I did. Every minute of every day." Narcissa caught Hermione's eyes and Hermione found it deep and emotional to hear Narcissa share these things with her. Narcissa, who had always been considered the beautiful but yet distant Ice Queen. That same Narcissa now sat before her and tears shimmered in her eyes as she spoke. "I look at Bellatrix and see she got a second chance. She got a chance to redeem herself. I wonder if there will ever be such a chance for me."

"You have that chance right now. It is right in front of you! All you need to do is reach out and grab it!" Hermione sounded hopeful as she was trying to convince Narcissa. "If Bella can, you can too."

Narcissa nodded and she picked up her cup of tea but did not bring the cup to her lips. She simply had picked it up to keep her hands busy. Her eyes pierced into Hermione's. The words rolled over her lips without warning. "Tell me, Hermione, do you love my sister?"

Hermione felt caught off guard by the sudden, unexpected question. Her eyes never let go of Narcissa's. Once again she was amazed by the difference between the two sisters. Narcissa was younger, blonde and with deep blue eyes whereas Bellatrix was dark with brown eyes. But there was something about the younger sister that reminded Hermione they were definitely sisters, though she could not quite understand what it was.

"Yes," she answered softly. "Yes, I do."

~()~

They had returned from Diagon Alley two hours ago. Narcissa had gone into the kitchen. Draco came home only minutes after they did but returned to his room without greeting them. Hermione sat in the living room. She heard the front door open and leapt to her feet. Bellatrix was home. She had been dying all day to see her. She sprinted into the hall and just as Bellatrix took off her cloak Hermione flung her arms around her neck and kissed her.

"Oh my! If this is the greeting I will be receiving whenever I come home, I'll make sure it happens more often," Bellatrix whispered as her lips found Hermione's and returned her kiss. "Hmmmm. Did you miss me?"

"Badly," Hermione giggled as she let her lips trail down to the side of Bella's neck and felt the older woman shiver and she continued with a husky voice "If it wasn't for the lovely prepared meal waiting for us in the kitchen and your sister's efforts to make sure I gain ten pounds before I return to Hogwarts, I would have dragged you to our bedroom immediately."

"I'll remember that," Bellatrix smiled and from over Hermione's shoulder she just caught Narcissa walking back into the kitchen. She let go of Hermione, took her hand into her own and they walked into the kitchen together. Narcissa had continued laying the table and dinner was just about to be served.

"DRACO!" Narcissa shouted and her voice was carried throughout the house. A door opened and footsteps announced Draco's way down the stairs. When he walked into the kitchen his eyes found Hermione's. Something about him had changed, she realized. He looked better than she had seen him look so far. The rings around his eyes had cleared away, he had gained some of his weight, mostly due to his mother's excellent cooking, and his eyes were no longer dull. And he even smiled.

"Did you get everything you need?" he asked Hermione as he slipped into a seat next to her at the table, leaving Bellatrix and Narcissa to sit on the other side.

Hermione nodded. "Yeah, though I struggled to get some of my Potions ingredients. Seems several students had issues with getting some of them. I suppose there are more students who need the same things these days."

"I know. I was too late myself. I missed out on my Cockroach Skin and Moon Flower Petals," Draco said as he helped himself to a portion of his mom's homemade lamb stew before filling up Hermione's plate followed by Bellatrix's and his mother's. Hermione watched him through her eyelashes. It was as if he had become a different young man. He was friendlier though still withdrawn. She had grown to like him since they all lived together, especially during the moments when she realized she shared a house with two Malfoy's and a Lestrange. Names once so connected to Dark Magic.

"I can share mine until you can get some," Hermione offered kindly as she took her own plate and picked up her spoon "That should get us through our first few potions lessons, at least." She caught Bellatrix's eyes and smiled. All she really wanted was to take her upstairs and make love to her. The hours together were running out as her return to Hogwarts approached quickly.

~()~

Bellatrix cried out, arching her back as Hermione's fingers explored her, touched her and entered her. Her juices and wetness were flowing freely, her skin was radiating heat. She squirmed as she felt how Hermione's tongue trailed hot tracks down her breast bone, around her nipples, around her belly button and pressed eagerly against her folds. How her lips kissed her everywhere, tasting the sweetness that came from her as she spread her legs further to allow Hermione to love her more. Pearls of sweat rolled down between the valley of breasts, her black curls on her forehead and spread all over the pillow. Her fingers dug into Hermione's shoulders, desperately clawing and scratching her skin.

Her body crashed into the mattress and she lay panting between the tangled sheets. Her chest was heaving, her body still shaking whilst the waves of her orgasm subsided. Her eyes desperately sought Hermione's and she smiled weakly when the young witch lay her beautiful naked body down beside her, the very fingers that had pleasured her now cherishing the bare flesh of her chest.

"You are amazing." she managed to whisper as she brushed some curls out of Hermione's face. The younger woman smiled sweetly and she kissed Bellatrix softly. The room was filled with the scent of sex, fresh sweat and the extraordinary tenderness of vanilla. Hermione lay her head down on her lover's chest as she listened to her heartbeat like she had done so many times before.

"I am going to miss this," Hermione whispered against Bellatrix's glowing skin and a tear fell from her eyes "Holding you like this, feeling you next to me in bed. I am going to be waking up alone every morning. I am going to miss you."

"And I will miss you," Bellatrix's words almost got lost in Hermione's hair but her lover heard her "I cannot imagine having to go to bed alone, waking up alone. You know, maybe I can sneak into the castle once or twice and surprise you. Do you think McGonnagal will allow it?" As she spoke those last words a naughty spark had appeared in her eyes and she ran her fingers through Hermione's hair.

"I don't know," Hermione lifted up her head, sharing a cheeky smile with Bellatrix "But who says she would ever have to know?"

Bellatrix's captured Hermione hungrily, her tongue forcefully finding its way and Hermione found herself engaged in a forceful duelling game for control. She knew she could not win when she felt Bellatrix's hand cup her breasts and let herself be pushed onto her back, pulling up her legs and spreading them as she did so. Bellatrix's thigh pressed against her entrance and she shivered, moaning in displeasure when Bellatrix pulled away from her lips. She grazed her back with her nails, groaning as Bellatrix's skilled tongue flicked around her nipple.

Minutes later it was Hermione whose bodies was covered in sweat, juices soft and tender flowing from her core as Bellatrix had entered her. Her heart pounded in her chest as she buried her hands in Bellatrix's black curls, pressing her tighter between her legs. Her back was arched, her nipples dark pink and hard. And she cried out, moaning louder as she suddenly screamed and begged for release. Her body smashed into the waves, falling over the edge and riding the powerful orgasmic stream.

They lay side by side, still panting. Their bodies were bare and exposed but satisfied. Bellatrix curled up against Hermione's body. It was covered in scratches and bruises, some with dried blood, from their passionate love making and she smiled to herself. She had marked Hermione as her own. Her pale skin bore all the marks from Hermione's bites as well, the most prominent ones being the bite marks on her neck and chest and deep red scratches on her back and arms.

"I don't want to let you go." Bellatrix whispered as she caressed Hermione. Both were tired, their bodies worn out and their minds slowly slipping into a dreamy state "But I suppose I will have no choice..."

"Come visit me at Hogwarts. I don't think I can miss this," Hermione whispered softly and left little butterfly kisses on Bellatrix's skin "No one will ever have to know."

And they fell asleep. They were another night closer to their goodbye. And they held each other closely, their bodies fitted perfectly together. Bellatrix's arm lay tenderly wrapped around Hermione's waist as the younger witch's head rested on her chest.

~()~

The first of September arrived before Hermione could even blink and she found herself standing at Platform 9 and ¾. The sun was shining weakly over her head. She had just loaded her trunk onto the train and now turned around to look at Bellatrix who was standing behind her. She saw the tears in her eyes. Bellatrix looked distraught. She pouted. It was an expression Hermione found extremely cute and she leant forward, her lips brushing against Bellatrix's.

"I'll send you an owl as soon as I have settled in and once I have found out the best way to get around McGonnagal." She felt eyes stare at them. Several students that used to be in her own year were also returning. Many of them looked at her and Bellatrix. She tried not to stare at them. Suddenly she realized how Harry must have felt all these years. Speaking of Harry and Ron, she had seen neither of them so far.

Bellatrix wrapped her arms around Hermione, pulling her closer. The owl in her cage rasped at the sudden movement. Bellatrix's lips cherished Hermione's and then she smiled. She felt Hermione's curves press against her own and carefully her hand slipped underneath her shirt and cherished the small of her back. Her voice was warm, her breath hot against Hermione's skin. "I will miss you, my darling... You better think of me one of those night, when you are lying awake in your bed in that dorm room of yours...And make sure you tell me..."

Hermione nodded. Her eyes had found Narcissa who was now walking towards them and she carefully slipped out of Bellatrix's embrace. Bellatrix turned to see her younger sister approach and smiled, yet her eyes were still filled with sadness.

"Hermione, I just wanted to say goodbye," Narcissa said softly and she approached Hermione. Neither was sure whether to shake hands, share a hug or do nothing at all. It was Hermione who eventually stepped forward and hugged Narcissa, albeit briefly. She pulled Narcissa towards her in an unsuspected embrace. "I hope you will enjoy your return to Hogwarts."

Hermione briefly closed her eyes when she felt Narcissa so close to her. Everything about this woman was different than her sister. Even her touch. "I will." She let go of Narcissa and neither looked at each other. "Has Draco gotten on the train yet? I may go and find him."

"He is in the back of the last carriage." Narcissa said softly and then Hermione saw Ron and Harry. They were getting on the train with Ginny, Seamus and Dean. She swallowed. "Have a good journey Hermione, and I will see you during the Christmas holidays" She walked away, leaving her sister to say goodbye to her lover alone.

"It will be Christmas before you know it," Bellatrix tried to convince herself more than Hermione and she took her hand. Hermione hid herself once again in Bellatrix's arms, feeling her heart beat against her own chest and she fought her tears. She didn't want to leave and at the same time, she did. "Come on Hermione."

The train whistled and Hermione looked up, one last time pressing her lips against Bellatrix's before she climbed the few steps into the carriage. She turned in the door as the train slowly started moving. She closed the door and hurried to the nearest window. Bellatrix still stood on the platform, waving frantically and smiling. Hermione waved back and caught a glimpse of Narcissa in the distance. She didn't wave. She just stood there, lost. Hermione's eyes found Bellatrix once again and watched how the dark haired figure became smaller and smaller until the platform disappeared.

Hermione sat down. She had the carriage to herself. She had put her owl down on the other seat and looked at it. She wasn't used to having an owl. It was raven black, like Bellatrix's hair. It had been Narcissa's present to her for when she returned to Hogwarts. The owl went by the name of Tonks. It had orange eyes that looked at her inquisitively. "Don't worry, once we got to Hogwarts you can fly around freely all the time" she said and owl seemed to agree. Tonks hid her head in her winds and dozed off to sleep.

Footsteps approached and the carriage door was opened. "Can I join you?"

To her surprise she found it was Draco and Hermione pointed at another free seat. She had not expected him. And Narcissa had said he was almost complete at the other end of the train. "Yes sure."

He sat down, pulled one leg up underneath him and looked at her. He looked nervous. She could see it in his eyes. She wondered what it must feel like for him now. "Strange going back isn't it?"

Hermione nodded as she observed the features in Draco's face. He looked tired and she thought he probably hadn't slept the night before. His eyes were still dull. "Yes. So many things have changed. I don't think anything is going to be the same. Are any of your former classmates returning?"

"I have seen a few but not spoken to them," Draco answered. He wondered what they would say if they would find him sit with Hermione Granger in one carriage. Many of them didn't know he had been living with her over the summer. He looked up when more footsteps approached the carriage and the door opened once again. It was Harry, accompanied by Ron and Ginny. They held still as they spotted Draco sitting by Hermione but then Harry carefully smiled.

"Hi, may we join you?" he asked and Hermione quickly glanced at Draco. He looked uneasy but she figured he was going to need friends now more than ever. She nodded and Ron sat down next to Draco and Ginny sat down on his other side while Harry sat down next to Hermione. Outside their window the English countryside was flashing past. For a while silence was their only companion but then it was Ginny who broke the silence. She smirked.

"So, any idea how long the new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher is going to last?"

And within seconds the carriage was filled with a heated discussion about whether or not a new teacher would last, and if so, how long. Or whether now that Voldemort was dead the curse that had rested upon the job had been lifted. Also Harry wondered whether McGonnagal would have changed Hogwarts much but Hermione thought she wouldn't have done. And they laughed. For the first time the group of friends felt at ease and calm and with Draco among them they joked, had sweets from the trolley and watched as outside the scenery told them they were closing in on Scotland soon.

Hours later they got off the train at Hogsmeade station, still talking enthusiastically but also feeling the anticipation of returning to the castle where they had all fought their last battle against the darkness. Hagrid was, as usual, taking care of the first years and collected the little ones for their journey to the castle across the lake, while the other students made their way to the carriage. And as the carriage drove them through the woods and up to the castle, Hermione's eyes lit up when she finally set eyes upon Hogwarts castle once again.


	20. The Tender Touch Of Safety

_**Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur**__**  
**__We choose to love, we do not choose to cease loving__  
(Syrus)_

_**Quos amor verus tenuit, tenebit**__**  
**__True love will hold on to those whom it has held__  
(Seneca)_

* * *

The Girls Dormitory had not changed in the past year. She stood beside the bed that was to be hers for this whole year. Her trunk stood open at the end, half her robes lay in a messy pile on her pillow and her spell books scattered on the floor. Hermione sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. She would be sharing her dormitory with Ginny and two other girls that Ginny knew but she didn't. Their names were Sarah and Lisa and the two of them had just unpacked all their stuff and left the room. Hermione was now alone and her eyes wandered to the window.

Arriving back at Hogwarts had been strange. She had excited the carriage and looked up to the castle that had sustained such heavy damage in battle. There were no longer any signs of destruction. The walls had been restored, the glass windows once again repaired. The castle breathed the same indestructible impression as it had done all these years before. But something had changed. One of the towers had not been completely fixed. Several stones had not been put back in place. The missing stones were the silent reminder for those who had lost their lives in these grounds. They would never be replaced. The voids would never be filled.

"Hermione, come on! Hurry up!" Ginny called impatiently from the open door and Hermione looked up to her friend. Ginny's fingers were drumming against the doorframe, a clear sign of impatience "We'll be late for the feast! Come on, I am bloody starving!"

Hermione grinned at Ginny's exaggeration since the youngest Weasley had eaten half of the sweets on the trolley on the train but she left the mess she had made and followed her down the spiral staircase. In the common room they met Harry and Ron who had both been talking to Seamus and Dean but now fell quiet. They all looked at each other for a while, as if seeing each other in their school robes had become a totally unfamiliar sight. Hermione thought both Ron and Harry looked almost too grown up to wear the uniform though she herself felt quite comfortable with the wide robes covering the round curves of adulthood.

The four friends excited the common room through the portrait of the Fat Lady and made their way down the Grand Staircase to the Great Hall. As the doors opened for them and they walked in, Hermione's eyes almost immediately drifted up to the enchanted ceiling. The area above her head was riddled with magically floating candles and the ceiling reflected the bright, star riddled sky outside. But as she stood there looking Hermione could not erase the image of the night they had come here for shelter. How the bodies of their loves ones had been placed side by side, their faces still and pale. She remembered their faces as she walked over to the Gryffindor table but forced the image out of her head. When she sat down she felt Ron's elbow in her ribs and she looked at whatever he was pointing at.

The Slytherin table was almost completely deserted. Apart from Malfoy, only three other former sixth years had returned. Hermione was shocked to see one of them was Pansy Parkinson. One of the others was Blaise Zabini. She was a fan of neither. There were some other students sitting at the table, Hermione guessed they were most likely to be third and fourth years. But what caught her eye most was that Draco sat alone, away from all the other Slytherins, even the ones that were in his year. The remaining Slytherins had hurdled together and threw nervous looks filled faked contempt at the other Houses. The Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables were as crowded as the Gryffindor table and all seemed to ignore the small group of Slyhterins.

Then Hermione's eyes drifted to the teaching table. McGonnagal sat in the chair that Dumbledore used to sit in. She was dressed in dark emerald robes and matching hat, her hands neatly folded on the table as her eyes wandered around the Great Hall. Many of the other teachers had returned; Professors Sprout, Flitwick, Slughorn, Trelawney, and even Professor Binn. And Hagrid of course, he sat next to Madam Pomfrey. And a teacher she didn't recognise but Hermione suspected it was their new Defence teacher. Her eyes drifted back to Minerva McGonnagal who caught Hermione looking at her and suddenly she smiled.

When Minerva stood up from her seat all students immediately fell quiet. She walked around the table and approached her students. She stood there for several seconds as she took in the sight of so many who had returned. All of those who believed and were determined to move on. When she spoke her voice betrayed her gratitude and admiration. But even more so, in her green eyes glistened tears.

"Good evening to you all. I cannot express how pleased and grateful I am to see so many of you have returned to Hogwarts," McGonnagal spoke; her voice trembled slightly. "Many of you have endured terrible losses during the war. All of us will carry the memories and the pain but we have decided to move forward. To better ourselves and to show that neither grief nor pain will hold us down. I think I speak for many when I say that we have returned with the memory of our loved ones in the back of our mind. I have not forgotten how many of them lay here that fateful night. I do not think any of us will ever have experienced a worse form of loneliness than what we felt that night. I am proud to stand before you tonight and see how strong you all have been, how grown up and how extraordinary amazing."

A deafening applause rose from the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff table whilst the Slytherins merely acknowledged the fact McGonnagal had spoken. Students cheered and chanted things like "Dumbledore's Army" and "Hogwarts forever!"

Minerva felt tears sting in her eyes when she found the ones screaming the loudest were Hermione, Harry and Ron. The three of them were standing on their benches. Ronald Weasley jumped up and down so enthusiastically that his two friends had to grab hold of his robes and a well-aimed charm from Luna Lovegood from the opposite table prevented him from crashing on his face and spending the first night in the Hospital Wing.

She clapped her hands and the silence returned. "As all the years before, let us enjoy the feast before we all return to our dormitories." She clapped her hands once more and magically the plates and cups filled with food and drink.

As Hermione helped herself to some chicken legs she looked back at the teaching table to find Minerva McGonnagal raise her cup to her. She nodded and smiled in return. Sitting here and hearing the excited voices around her made her realize that even though so much had happened, being back at Hogwarts was not as different from what it once used to be.

~()~

Hermione found herself alone in the dormitory after the feast. She had climbed the stairs, feeling her legs getting heavier with every step. She dreaded having to go to sleep alone. She stood by the window and looked out over the Hogwarts grounds. Somewhere in the distance an owl appeared into the darkness, hunting for something to eat in the night. She already missed being home with Bellatrix. To just feel her presence, hear her footsteps and her laughter and her voice. She leant against the window, her head heavy with thoughts and memories. She was so lost she didn't hear the door open behind her.

"Hermione, are you all right?" asked Ginny and Hermione turned around to find her friend standing behind her, looking at her with a worried look in her eyes. She realized that Ginny too had grown up and looked much like her mother, though she knew better than to tell her that unless she wished to be hit by a powerful Bat Bogey Hex.

"Yes, I am fine," Hermione smiled tiredly "I was just merely thinking." She walked to her bed and stripped herself from her robes. She felt comfortable enough around Ginny to undress herself. She put her pyjama's on and when she turned around she found Ginny had done the same. She climbed on her bed and invited Ginny to join her. They had not done this for so long. When she would stay at The Burrow, and even during their times at Hogwarts, she and Ginny would often spend hours talking. Ginny accepted the invitation and she too climbed on Hermione's bed.

"So how is London?" Ginny asked curiously and Hermione smiled. She had wondered when Ginny would start asking questions about her new found life. "Harry said the house you live in is the house Bella grew up in? What is it like? Is it like Grimmauld Place?"

"I bet it used to look like that once, a long time ago," Hermione answered as she found her hairbrush somewhere amongst her things and brushed her hair "But they have made quite the effort of doing it up. You wouldn't be able to tell it is the house the Blacks used to live. It doesn't look at all like Grimmauld Place. For once there are no heads of dead house elves on the wall and no screaming painting of the Black matriarch!"

Ginny laughed as she remembered the screaming painting of Sirius's mother that was permanently stuck to the wall in Grimmauld Place or the terribly freaky heads of house elves mounted to the wall. According to Sirius it had been some sick family tradition his mother used to honour. "So..."

"So what?" Hermione raised her eyebrows and giggled. Suddenly she felt like a teenager again, gossiping with a friend "What do you want to know?"

"Oh come on Mione!" Ginny laughed and chuckled as Hermione pulled a face "What is it like, living with someone? And even more so, what is it like living with Bellatrix?"

"It is different," Hermione answered honestly and wondered whether Ginny didn't know that Draco and Narcissa lived with her and Bellatrix too. "I have to say we didn't get that much time to get used to it because I went back to Hogwarts but I enjoy knowing that she comes home every day, when I am around. Hearing footsteps, knowing she is around. It makes life a lot less lonely." She didn't' t realize how much she enjoyed the presence of other people after having spent almost a whole year travelling with Harry and Ron in what in the end became a terrifying feeling of loneliness. "Though it is difficult to keep considering there are other people around."

Ginny frowned and Hermione understood Ginny didn't know Draco and Narcissa lived with them. "Other people? What other people?"

"Draco still lives with us. Well, while he isn't at Hogwarts. And his mother too. Remember Narcissa? She has filed for divorce from Lucius so until all of that is sorted, she lives with us too. This is good because I am a crap cook and I don't think Bellatrix took any cooking lessons in Azkaban." Hermione averted her eyes. She remembered her trip to Diagon Alley and the departure from Kings Cross station. "But people look at me oddly these days. I went to Diagon Alley with Cissy the other day and people stare, at her and at me. And at the platform, people stared at me and Bella."

"People talk too," Ginny said and this was her way of kindly saying there had been stories about Hermione and Bellatrix going around "There are whispers, some say you are Imperiused and Bellatrix has fooled us all. Another says that Narcissa wants to take over from Lucius. I suppose many people do not understand and with the past still fresh and wounds still open, you cannot blame them. Hermione, even I had trouble understanding at first."

"That makes two of us. Many days I still don't understand why things went the way they did. Why I fell in love with her like I did. Why I never realized I could feel this way," Hermione whispered softly and then shook her head, as if she attempted to erase the thoughts from her mind. "How are things between you and Harry?"

"Good. We're going mental back home though. It is so crowded still. Harry and I want to move out and find a little flat or something somewhere when we finish Hogwarts," Ginny answered and she beamed with happiness. Hermione had always known that Ginny and Harry were a match well made. "And Harry has been saying he would like to get married and have children one day."

Hermione laughed. She could just picture Harry walking down the aisle, slaying a dragon and knocking out a Dementor as he did so. And she believed he would be a great father. Her eyes drifted back to the window. The moon peered through some thin white clouds and with a dreamy voice she spoke again. "It seems so long ago since we were just children."

And in Ginny's silence she found her companion in that thought, knowing that her friend had agreed. Childhood suddenly seemed like a lifetime ago.

~()~

It did not take long for them to fall back into a familiar routine of lessons, homework and more homework. No one had even realized how easy it was to fall back into the routine of school. As the days went on and October arrived they found themselves back in a place of which it felt they had never been away. Hermione was taking all her classes after having spoken to McGonnagal about what subjects to pursue with the prospect of becoming a Healer. Night after night she found herself sitting up by the fireplace, surrounded by her books and her friends who were all working just as hard. The carelessness Harry and Ron once expressed towards their homework had disappeared with them growing up and they studied as hard as she did. The flames in the fire were warm and gentle and made Hermione feel woozy. She slammed her book shut and rubbed her eyes.

"Right, I am quickly off to the Owlery to find Tonks and send a letter," she said and Harry looked up from his Potions homework. Slughorn had demanded an essay about the influences of Love Potions and what would happen if they went wrong. Harry had suggested just writing about the night he had to drag Ron to Slughorn after having had an overdose, which caused Ron to throw his Transfiguration book at him.

"You better make sure your steamy love letter to Bellatrix is not intercepted along the way," he joked and Hermione threw him a teasing look.

"You mean like your letter to Ginny that was intercepted by McGonnagal in class and read out loud?" she reminded him and watched how both Harry and Ginny turned a dark scarlet. Both quickly looked back at their homework whilst Ron was muttering his laughter with his quill.

Hermione waved at her friends before climbing through the portrait hole and making her way down the staircases. It was twenty past nine and curfew was set for ten so she had to be quick to find Tonks and send her letter. She walked through the corridors. As she walked along she suddenly realized where she was and stood still. She stood in the very corridor which had once been home to the Room of Requirement. After the fire that broke out during the battle she had often wondered if it still worked. Hermione took a deep breath and closed her eyes. _I need to enter the room where everything is hidden _she thought to herself and when she reopened she was shocked to find the door had reappeared. A gloomy feeling washed over her. This room had been their most loyal companion and she told herself she would have to tell Harry and Ron when she got back to the common room.

She turned around, leaving the Room for now, and continued to make her way to the West Tower, home to the Owlery. She climbed the stairs that lead to the circular shaped room. She shivered. She had forgotten to bring a cloak or a robe. The wind blew firmly around the tower and since none of the windows has glass the cold touch of autumn wind went straight through her jeans and jumper and Hermione wrapped her arms around herself. Her eyes wandered around looking for Tonks and she spotted her owl at the top ring.

"Tonks, come down here. I've got a job for you," she called and with a loud rasp Tonks came flying down and sat herself down on Hermione's arm. She nibbled lovingly on Hermione's index finger before she stuck out her paw and Hermione attached the parchment. She then walked her to the window and stroked Tonks' head. "Bring this to Bellatrix, ok? And please be nice, don't peck her fingers again." Tonks gave one more rasp before she flew off into the night and Hermione watched her disappear.

When Tonks had disappeared out of sight Hermione climbed back down the stairs and then started walking her way back through the corridors to return to the common room. The corridors were dimly lit by flaming torches. Hermione turned a corner and was surprised to find there was someone else in this particular corridor. She recognised Minerva McGonnagal straight away and hurried up her steps to catch up with her. "Good evening Professor."

Minerva looked up when she recognised Hermione's voice. "Miss Granger, I didn't see you there." She paused for a second and then her lips slightly curled up. "You'd better hurry back to the common room. You do not wish to be caught after curfew wandering the corridors in only your second week, do you?"

Hermione grinned too and she met Minerva's blue eyes. She was pretty sure the Headmistress would not punish her for wandering around the castle after hours. Having seen McGonnagal only in battle situations or at the Weasley house, it was almost odd to see her in her teaching position once again. She still remembered the evening at The Burrow, when they celebrated Harry's birthday and the conversation they shared. Minerva had not treated her as a student but as an adult. "I suppose that would be very unwise indeed, Professor. Though I am returning from the Owlery."

"Homesick already are we, Miss Granger?" Hermione would swear she saw McGonnagal blink. "At least your letter was not sent during class. Better go back to your common room, dear. If Mr Filch catches you out of bed he will probably try to persuade me to punish you severely. I am not particularly looking forward to a visit from the care taker tonight so off you go."

Hermione nodded briefly and then walked on and ran up the Grand Staircase; all the way up to the seventh floor. She climbed through the portrait exactly as the clock struck ten. When she walked back into the common room she found Harry and Ginny were gone and she thought to herself that it was more likely they were wandering around somewhere past curfew tonight. Ron appeared to have gone to bed so Hermione made her way up the stairs to the girl's dormitory, stripped herself from her jumper and jeans and changed into her pyjamas. She climbed into bed and lay with her hands folded underneath her head as she stared at the ceiling.

She missed feeling Bellatrix next to her. She missed the smell of her skin and the tickles from her curls. She missed simply not being alone. Even though she was back at the one place where she had always felt at home and was once again surrounded by her friends and people she cared for, she still felt lonely. She missed the warmth from the living room, the cosy feeling of the bed she shared with Bellatrix and the soft footsteps of people walking around the house.

Hermione lay like this for minutes. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks as she suddenly remembered her parents. Their faces appeared before her eyes, smiling at her. She missed them. She missed them terribly. Though she knew she had done the right thing when the war started, not knowing where they were and if they were still alive was probably as bad as the idea they were dead. Though thinking they were dead was the easiest way of dealing with the pain. At least then, if one day things were proven differently, the pain would not be as bad.

The door opened and Ginny rushed in. Her face flushed and she was giggling. When she found Hermione in her bed she pulled a face. She didn't see Hermione's tears and Hermione was happy she didn't.

"Caught by McGonnagal. Merlin's Beard, the woman has eyes in the back of her head. She is even worse than my mother!"

~()~

Bellatrix looked up when she heard the familiar sound of an owl tapping its wing against a window and she quickly hurried across the room and allowed Tonks to come inside. She immediately spotted the parchment on the owls paw and took it off. She recognised Hermione's handwriting and her heart leapt up. Just as she was about to open the parchment her bedroom door opened without knocking and Narcissa walked in. When she saw the owl on her sister's bed she realized her intrusion.

"Oh sorry Bella, I will come back later," she said, her cheeks turning slightly pink. But Bellatrix shook her head and gestured her sister to come in. Somehow she suspected Hermione's letter wasn't one of those letters that was for her eyes only. Narcissa came in and sat herself down on the bed, brushing a string of blonde hair out of her face as she did so. She watched how Bellatrix unfolded the parchment.

_My dear Bella,__  
it is quiet here at Hogwarts without you. I had expected it would feel so strange to be back here but somehow it isn't. My classes are going all right. We have a new Defence __against the__ Dark Arts teacher. He's all right. A bit boring maybe. I wonder how long he will last.__  
Many students have returned though Slytherin house doesn't appear to have more than fifteen students. Slughorn is still their Head of House. He asked me to send you his regards and to mention he never forgot how you once created the best Liquid Pain he had ever seen.__  
I share my dormitory with Ginny Weasley and two other girls but it is still lonely. I had no idea I would get used to sleeping with you so quickly. I feel more alone now than ever before.__  
Come see me one of the nights. McGonnagal will let me get away with anything, past curfew or not. I doubt she will ever know. She is too busy catching Harry and Ginny everywhere.__  
I hope you are all right and miss me as much as I miss you. Send Tonks back with your reply. I asked her not to bite.__  
I love you.__  
Hermione xxx_

Narcissa looked at her sister and saw how her cheeks had turned pink this time. She smiled. "Your very first little love letter, Bella." She caught Bellatrix's eyes and then took her hand to sit her down on the bed with her. As they sat side by side she suddenly felt like she was a child again and shuffled closer to her sister. Bellatrix noticed and watched her carefully but then let her sister rest her head on her shoulder like she used to do when she was younger. She stroked her blonde hair. It wasn't anything like holding Hermione, but at least she didn't feel so lonely.

"And what is this about sneaking into Hogwarts behind McGonagall's back?" Narcissa smiled and Bellatrix stirred underneath her "Can't wait till the Christmas holidays can you? Oh Bella, you really have fallen hard haven't you?"

Bellatrix smiled and her eyes became rather dreamy. "I can't wait to have her back for the Christmas holidays, Cissy. I can't wait for the house to be so much more alive."

Narcissa swallowed. "Me either."


	21. The Soft Nourishing Of Destruction

**Quid me nutrit me destruit.**_  
What nourishes me also destroys me._

_A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us._  
_(Antoine de Saint-Exupery)_

* * *

Winter arrived almost unnoticed and before anyone knew it the Christmas decorations had appeared around the castle. The wind had become colder, the nights longer and the days were mostly a dull colour of grey. One morning when Hermione woke up she glanced out of the window to find a tender soft white blanket of snow covering the Hogwarts grounds. As she made her way down the staircase into the common room she found Harry, Ron and Ginny all sitting together. It was Saturday and there were no classes. They were all still in their pyjama's. Ron and Harry were playing a game of wizard chess and it looked like Harry was winning for once and Ginny was watching them with a bemused smile.

In the corner of the room stood a massive Christmas tree, decorated with the colours of Gryffindor and real candles that were bewitched so they wouldn't set the tree and the common room on fire. Random pieces of mistletoe had magically appeared on the ceiling and in the air lingered the distinctive smell of Christmas.

"Have you packed yet, Hermione?" Ginny asked when she spotted Hermione coming down the stairs.

"Packed?" Hermione questioned but then she suddenly realized what Ginny was talking about. Her heart leapt up in her chest and her face was suddenly glowing as the realization sunk n. "No! But I will do it soon!"

Today was the day the Hogwarts Express would take them back to London. Today was the day she would be going home for the Christmas holidays. But for now, she joined her friends and tried to help Harry make sure he would for once beat Ron at chess. Once the game was over and Harry was mocking Ron over finally losing for once, Ron pulled a letter from under a cushion and gave it to Hermione.

"This came this morning. The poor owl crashed against the window." He nodded to the window and Hermione saw the distinct shape of an owl against the frozen glass. She took the letter from Ron and recognised the messy handwriting that belonged to Mrs Weasley.

_"Hermione, I would be delighted if you and Bellatrix would be able to join us for Christmas dinner this year. I have invited everybody and the pair of you cannot be missed. Also, of course Draco and Narcissa are welcome if they so wish. Safe journey home and I hope to see you soon."_

"That is going to be one wicked Christmas party!" Ginny said, with a shimmer of enthusiasm in her eyes and then glanced at her brother. "Are you going to bring Sarah? I bet mom will be delighted to finally meet her." Ginny did an amazing expression of her mother's face when she met someone new.

Hermione laughed, maybe even louder than Harry and Ginny when Ron's cheeks turned as red as his hair. For the past four weeks Ron had been dating Sarah, one of the other girls Hermione shared her dormitory with. And it wasn't the disaster like his relationship with Lavender Brown had been. This time it looked like it was actually working out. Both were rather shy, which made it even cuter to see them holding hands at the Gryffindor table.

"Don't worry Ron; everybody will be all over Bellatrix. No one will harass you about Sarah," Hermione grinned and punched him against his shoulder. Sitting here in the common room, laughing and joking, felt like the old times and she treasured her friends now maybe even more than before. She stood up and headed towards the stairs that lead to the Girls Dormitory. "I am going to pack my stuff. Are you guys all finished?"

They nodded and Hermione climbed the stairs to the seventh floor on her own. She dug her trunk from under her bed and opened it. She gathered most of her clothes and put them in, together with some of her school books, parchment and quills. There was still some homework she needed to do over the holidays. After she had finished packing she retreated to the bathroom and enjoyed a long soak in the bath. The bubbles, the different smells and scents of the soap and the hot water eased her mind and made her feel relaxed. She swam around for a bit, from one end to the other of the massive pool. When she eventually climbed out of the pool and wrapped a towel around herself, Hermione felt clean and much more like herself. She returned to her room, simply dressed in her bathrobe and was surprised to find someone waiting for her.

"Professor?" She asked, clutching her robe more tightly and Minerva McGonagall turned around. Seconds ago she had been staring out of the window. Now she was faced with Hermione in her bathrobe and she immediately sensed the younger witch's discomfort with her presence.

"I am sorry for my intrusion, Miss Granger," McGonagall answered and she saw how Hermione's face flinched for a second "Hermione." she rephrased herself and Hermione slowly became more at ease though yet still very much aware of the fact she was naked underneath her robe. "I was merely intending to inquire whether you have accepted to the invitation to the Weasley Christmas Party."

"I can only assume Bella will have received the same letter. I am intending to go to the party," Hermione answered. Somehow she knew this was not the reason for Minerva being here. "I do not wish to appear rude but you could have come to see me at any given time. Why now?"

McGonagall sat down at the edge of Hermione's bed and looked up to meet Hermione's chocolate brown eyes. "You are right. Forgive me. There is something I wish to discuss with you. Well, several things actually. After the Christmas holidays a new student will join us. He is from Durmstrang but lost his parents in the war and will be coming to Hogwarts." She paused. "I have heard rumours it is Lucius Malfoy who has taken the boy into his home."

"You wish for me to speak to Narcissa and see if she knows something? I doubt she knows anything, Minerva. Cissy has not spoken to her husband since the Battle," Hermione answered softly and she remembered the sad look in Narcissa's blue eyes "I assume this young man will be placed in Slytherin?"

Minerva nodded, feeling somehow more at ease. "Yes. I would be pleased he could have as little contact with the Malfoy boy as possible. Speaking of such, I have noticed you and Mr Potter and Weasley have spent quite a lot of time with him as of late."

"He has changed a lot, Minerva. He feels lost in his own House. His fellow students have shunned him for having deserted the Dark Arts, whereas the rest of the school still avoids him for being a former Death Eater," Hermione whispered "Maybe you can speak to him yourself, at the Burrow. You are coming aren't you?"

Minerva stood up. "Yes, I shall be attending. Now, I suggest you get dressed in more appropriate garments than your bathrobe, Hermione. The train will be leaving Hogsmeade in two hours and I don't believe you'd be willing to miss it." She walked to the door and turned around, catching Hermione's eyes from across the room. She smiled. "Merry Christmas, Hermione."

Hermione returned the smile. "Merry Christmas, Minerva."

Once Minerva had left Hermione slipped out of her bathrobe and got dressed in black jeans and a pink blouse. She picked up the necklace Bellatrix had given her and hung it safely around her neck. Then she magically sent her trunk down the stairs, grabbed Tonks' cage and made sure she hadn't left anything before exiting the Dormitory. When she walked into the common room she found the others had gotten dressed too and were all waiting for her. Their trunks stood beside them and Ginny held her robe.

"Come on, we'd better go," Harry said and Hermione took her robe from Ginny. As they were leaving Gryffindor Tower the three of them wanted to know why Minerva McGonagall had come to see her. Hermione told them about what Minerva had said. About the new student arriving after Christmas and the rumours about Lucius Malfoy haven taken the boy in.

"A boy from Durmstrang taken in by Lucius Malfoy?" Ron asked suspiciously as they walked down the Grand Staircase into the Entrance Hall. Hermione looked at him and pulled up her shoulders.

"That's what McGonagall told me," Hermione said and she glanced at her friends. "I suppose we will just have to wait and see." She paused and then smiled. "But now I just want to go home!"

~()~

The journey back to London on the train was filled with excitement. Hermione's heart was pounding heavily in her chest the closer they got to London. Her face was almost pressed against the window. The scenery changed drastically as the train closed in on London. Next to her, Harry and Ron were laughing at her, where Ginny merely smirked. She understood the way her friend felt and thought it was rather enduring to see her so desperate to return to Bellatrix.

As the train rolled into Kings Cross station Hermione leapt to het feet and grabbed Tonks' cage and was the first one by the door to collect her trunk. "I'll see you all Christmas Day!" she called from the door as she jumped to the platform. She summoned her trunk from one of the open luggage compartment and it came rolling towards her straight away. Then she looked around, her eyes scanning the crowds of people that were waiting to pick up their children.

And there she was, dressed in a beautiful velvet burgundy dress. Her curly hair fell down her shoulders and when her dark brown eyes found Hermione on the platform she broke free from the crowd and ran over to her. Hermione felt how Bellatrix's strong arms grabbed her around her waist and pulled her close before lifting her up into the air and swinging her around.

"HERMIONE!"

Hermione's lips automatically sought and found Bellatrix's lips and she kissed her. She closed her eyes as she tasted her soft tender sweetness. Her hands buried in Bellatrix's black curls as she carefully found her way into Bellatrix's mouth to meet her tongue. Bellatrix answered her kiss, both unaware of their surroundings. Neither of them cared about the people that were standing around them, though many of them merely glanced at them before collecting their own loved ones from the train.

"You would think someone has permanently glued them together!" Harry grinned as she poked Ron before pointing at Bellatrix and Hermione, who were still engaged in a passionate kiss. Ron merely laughed because Sarah had excited the next compartment and he hurried over to say goodbye to her for now and, Harry assumed, to invite her for Christmas. He felt Ginny's hand take his and he looked at his girlfriend. She smiled.

"Come on, mum will probably be waiting for us," she said as she dragged Harry along and they disappeared into the slowly thinning crowd.

Bellatrix let go of Hermione and looked at her, tenderly stroking her cheek. "I missed you... And I am sorry I never came to visit but things have been mad at work" She was trying to cramp too many words into what she was trying to say and found her tongue stuck for just a second. She shook her head in an attempt to clear her head. "Oh my, am I glad to have you back for a while."

"Glad to be back," Hermione whispered as she brushed her lips against Bellatrix's once again before her eyes wandered around the platform. "Where is Cissy?"

"I assume she has found Draco. She is probably waiting outside the station." Bellatrix answered and she brushed a curl out of Hermione's face before taking her hand and picking up Tonks' cage. "Come on."

Narcissa was indeed waiting for them outside the station. Her eyes lit up when she saw Hermione and she smiled. "Hermione, it is so good to see you again!" she said friendly and this time it was her who wrapped her arms around Hermione, pulling her into a soft embrace. When she stepped away their eyes met briefly before either looked away and then started their journey home.

~()~

Once they arrived home Narcissa threw one more glance at her sister and Hermione after Hermione said she was going to take her trunk upstairs and Bellatrix offered to help. Draco left his trunk in the hall and accepted his mother's offer to help her in the kitchen to prepare dinner. Narcissa didn't turn around when Bellatrix and Hermione ran up the stairs, giggling like a couple of teenagers. When the bedroom fell shut behind them Hermione made sure it was soundproof before turning around and finding Bellatrix staring at her with lust flickering in her eyes.

"Did you miss me?" Bellatrix whispered as she carefully approached Hermione, slowly unbuttoning her blouse and sliding it off her tender skin. She kissed the soft flesh of her shoulder, slowly trailing upwards to the side of her neck and Hermione groaned. "I sure missed you, my love. Every night."

Hermione's slim fingers skilfully undid the corset that was part of Bellatrix's dress before the velvet fabric slid down her pale skin completely and exposed her beauty once more. She gasped at the sight of Bellatrix's full breasts, her flesh soft and sweet and her nipples already hard and dark pink. She pressed her thigh between Bellatrix's legs, and smiled as she purred under the pressure. The feeling of Bellatrix's hands cupping her own breasts made her throw her head back in pleasure.

Bellatrix lost her self-control and pushed Hermione onto the bed, crawling on top of her and straddling her waist. Her lips kissed and her tongue circled around Hermione's nipples before tracing down her stomach. The taste of her flesh roared some kind of internal sensation inside her. She had missed her so much. And she needed her so desperately. One of her hands unzipped Hermione's pants and her dark eyes became even darker with lust as she laid eyes upon the black underwear that hid beneath it. She didn't even bother pulling Hermione's jeans down. Her hand just slipped behind it and then disappeared behind her knickers. She was greeted by the warm sweet moist that came from Hermione's core.

Two fingers entered Hermione's tender soft centre and the younger witch cried out as she dug her nails into Bellatrix's tender flesh. She pressed her pelvis against Bellatrix's hand, grinding her lower body against that over the older woman. Bellatrix's hands impatiently and almost roughly thrusted and rubbed against Hermione's core.

Hermione moaned and screamed as the months of separation that caused her frustration, anger and loneliness rose to the surface and seemed to concentrate on her inner body. Her muscles tightened as she pressed herself firmer against Bellatrix, wrapping her legs around her lover's back and pulling even closer. Bellatrix's teeth grazed her now burning flesh. Her head collapsed against the pillow as her fingers dug deeper into Bellatrix's skin.

She groaned and twisted, her body shivering underneath Bellatrix's thrust. She looked up, her eyes capturing Bellatrix's. Her eyes were dark and filled with lust and passion. Her lips caught Hermione's so roughly they nearly bruised her. Something of the wickedness in Bellatrix had awoken and she used it to please Hermione in a complete different way than ever before. She was in control, towered over the younger witch. She made her own once again when all of a sudden Hermione cried out. The juices flowing from her hot core announced her orgasm before it had even hit her.

"BELLA!" Hermione cried as she collapsed into the mattress, her body shivering heavily and she pressed her body against Bellatrix's. The sensations rolled over and through her as she closed her eyes and tears began to flow. She cried as the waves of her orgasm slowly subsided and she found herself cradled in Bellatrix's soft, loving arms. The dark haired witch left butterfly kisses on her skin.

"Don't cry," Bellatrix whispered, worries now lying in her eyes "Did I, did I hurt you? Hermione, please, say something. I never meant to hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me," Hermione sobbed through her tears and turned her head. Her eyes found Bellatrix and she saw how the worries slowly subsided. "I liked it. You could never hurt me, Bella. Never. I-I am just..."

"Lost," Bellatrix whispered as she kissed Hermione's forehead and caught the younger woman's wrist when Hermione trailed down her stomach with intention to please her "I can wait, my love. It can wait. Lay with me and share your thoughts. Tell me what is troubling you."

Hermione lay there, partially naked. So many things were running through her head she had no idea where to start. "I have been thinking about my parents. I have been thinking about maybe trying to find them but I do not know where to start. And at the same time I just try to tell myself they are dead. So that if they really are it won't hurt as much."

"Isn't it better to hold on to the belief they are not?" Bellatrix questioned softly and she looked into Hermione's hazel eyes "Why lose the hope of something beautiful if the hope still has a chance to return? Never give up on something that has not given up on you... If you wish to find your parents, I will help you. The Ministry might be able to be of service to you and I bet Minerva would be happy to help you out as well. Hermione if you so wish, we will all help you."

Hermione brushed her tears away and looked at her lover. "I love you, Bellatrix."

"And I love you," Bellatrix whispered and brushed her lips against Hermione's ear. Inside her chest her heart was glowing and she took one of Hermione's hands into her own. Her next worlds rolled over her lips like an even softer whisper and nearly were lost in Hermione's hair "Marry me, Hermione."

Hermione's head spun around to look at her lover, her eyes widening in shock as she tried to work out whether she had heard it right. "Bella, what did you just say?"

Bellatrix's eyes captured Hermione's and she followed the shape of Hermione's lips with her fingers. She felt so lost in this feeling and yet she felt stronger and more powerful than ever before. She wanted it to last forever. All of it. "Marry me,"

Hermione thought it was out of this world. It was completely mental. And she had to be out of her mind. Her world was spinning and her head was rushing. She looked at her beautiful lover. Bellatrix was the most beautiful creature she had ever seen. And she lay here next to her, practically naked. And now... now this lovely creature asked her to become her wife. To spend her life forever together. She looked at Bellatrix, who was staring back at her with questioning eyes.

Bellatrix sensed Hermione's hesitation and realized how idiotic her words must have sounded to the younger witch. "Hermione, sorry, I don't know what..."

"Yes!" Hermione said blindly and suddenly started laughing uncontrollable "YES Bella! Yes, I will marry you!"

She wrapped her arms tighter around Bellatrix and they rolled over each other until Hermione lost her balance and found that gravity wasn't everything. Very unkindly she collided with the bedroom floor and she rubbed her elbow where it had crashed against the wooden floor. When she looked back up she found Bellatrix still sitting on her knees on the bed, looking anxiously down at the floor, her black curls partially covering her face. Hermione was still laughing and then Bellatrix laughed too. She reached out a hand to Hermione but instead of Hermione pulling herself up, she pulled Bellatrix down. The older woman landed partially on top of Hermione and they found their faces close together. Hermione kissed her, quickly but passionately and once again repeated her answer.

"YES! I will marry you!"

And they lay like this for several minutes, laughing until they were out of breath and both fighting for air to find its way into their lungs. Bellatrix was panting as she slowly stood up and reached out a hand to Hermione. She pulled her up and her lips captured hers once again, feeling the swells of Hermione's breasts press against her own. It was a beautiful feeling.

"Come, we better join Cissy. I dread to even wonder what she is thinking about us," Bellatrix grinned as she remembered Narcissa's meaningful face when she and Hermione ran up the stairs. "Come on, get dressed."

They both got dressed and once they made sure they were both appropriately and decently covered in the right pieces of garment they left the room and walked downstairs. Hermione stopped Bellatrix in her tracks just before they stepped into the hallway and turned her face towards her. She caught her deep brown eyes. "Wait! Are we going to tell her?"

"Do you want to tell her?" Bellatrix retorted the question and Hermione thought about it for a few seconds before she smiled.

"Yes. Yes I do want to tell her but not tonight. Maybe we should wait. Until Christmas Day. At the Weasley's," Hermione suggested hopeful and Bellatrix nodded. "We are going of course, aren't we?"

Bellatrix pecked Hermione quickly on the cheek and took her hand into hers once again before dragging her down the last few steps of the stairs. "Yes. I wouldn't want to miss it for the world."

And with that said they walked into the kitchen. Narcissa turned around and her lips curled up into a tender smile. Yet her voice was a lot more cynical than her smile would have made them believe. "How lovely of you to join us."

She nodded towards the table and the two witches sat down as Narcissa served their dinner. She never noticed the intense looks the two witches shared; the eye contact that spoke more than words would ever be able to say.

~()~

Christmas Day arrived unexpectedly fast and when Hermione woke up that morning she found Bellatrix sitting on the edge of the bed, wrapped in a blanket. She had been looking at her lover. When she saw Hermione had woken up Bellatrix carefully crawled back into the bed and snuggled herself in Hermione's arms. "Merry Christmas my darling."

"Merry Christmas darling," Hermione whispered and her lips brushed against Bellatrix's before kissing her softly. "What were you doing there, looking at me?"

"Just like you said, looking at you," Bellatrix smirked and draped her arm securely around Hermione's waist as her head rested upon her chest. "You have no idea how beautiful you are."

"I suppose not," Hermione grinned "It would only make me arrogant."

They spend fifteen more minutes cuddling together, kissing and giggling, before Hermione slipped out of bed and was the first to take a shower. After she had left the bathroom Bellatrix pinned her up the wall as she stole a deep passionate kiss and left her with legs that felt like jelly. She then got dressed in one of Christmas presents Bellatrix's had bought for her. It was a heavy, velvet dress, much like the ones Bellatrix liked to wear herself. It was cobalt blue and accented her brown curly hair and chocolate eyes. When Bellatrix came out of the bathroom and found her lover standing in front of the mirror her mouth dropped open and she forgot to breath.

"You look amazing," she whispered as she approached Hermione and tenderly wrapped her arms around her waist. "You have no idea what a beautiful woman you have become, Hermione. Look at you... You have grown up so much." She gently brushed her hands against the round curves of Hermione's breasts. "Everyone will be looking at you tonight."

Hermione captured Bellatrix's eyes. She smirked. "They will because I am with you."

Bellatrix knew better than to answer. She dropped her towel and Hermione watched her get dressed, slowly covering up the beautiful sight that was Bellatrix's body. When Bellatrix turned she found Hermione look at her with a dreamy look in her eyes and reached for her hand. Together, they walked down the stairs and found Narcissa and Draco in the living room. Both were dressed neatly for the Christmas party they would be attending at the Burrow later today.

Draco wore one of his best suits but it was his mother who captured Hermione's eye. Narcissa's hair was falling down her shoulders, wavy like the waves of the ocean and cherished the sides of her face and tickled the skin of her neck. She was dressed in a beautiful purple dress that fitted around her body perfectly in all the right places. It was only now that Hermione realized that Narcissa and Bellatrix were physically not that different after all but she had never been able to tell since Narcissa would usually wear more loose fitting robes and dresses.

"Hermione, you look amazing," Narcissa said, using the same words Bellatrix had used upstairs in their bedroom, as her eyes found Hermione and she then quickly turned her head away. Her blonde hair covered the slight blush on her cheeks.

"Thank you," Hermione answered shy and glanced at Bellatrix, who had just paid a compliment to Draco about his suit. She glanced at the fire place. Narcissa had obviously prepared it for their travel. The flames were small but green. "I think most people will arrive at the Weasley's for noon but we are welcome to arrive earlier if we wish so...I suggest we go early if we wish to be able to have a decent conversation before it becomes too crowded and noisy to speak"

All agreed and one by one they stepped into the fireplace. Hermione was to go first. She would inform the Weasley's the others would be arriving soon. She stepped into the green flames, dropped the Floo Powder and spoke loud and clearly. "The Burrow."

The flames roared and the room spun drastically before her eyes. In the distance the living room of the Burrow came into view and Hermione braced herself for the sudden stop that came with her arrival. She arrived with a soft crack and the flames eased down almost immediately. She stepped out of the fireplace since she didn't particularly wanted to crash with whoever came after her and dusted the ashes from her dress.

"Hermione!" said Mrs Weasley as she jumped up from her seat. The book she had been reading dropped to the floor. The flames roared bright green once again and Hermione knew the second arrival would be here in seconds. "How great to see you!" She glanced at the fireplace. A figure became visible in the distance. "Is everybody coming with you?" She had only just finished her question when behind Hermione Narcissa appeared in the flames. She stepped out of the flames and nervously looked around. When she found Hermione standing not far away her face slowly eased up. Even more so when Molly Weasley approached her and just hugged her, no questions asked.

"Narcissa! How lovely of you to come!" Molly said and Hermione knew she meant it from the bottom of her heart. Narcissa seemed to relax when she felt Molly hug her yet her eyes found Hermione's briefly before she looked away. Behind them the flames were roaring once again. Draco appeared and stepped into the living room too. He wanted to approach his mother but Molly stepped in between. He was greeted as enthusiastically as his mother had been and blushed slightly when confronted with Mrs Weasley's voluptuous chest.

The flames turned green one last time and finally Bellatrix appeared. She stepped out of the fireplace gracefully, brushing off the ashes as she did so. As she looked back up she was almost knocked over by Molly Weasley, who hugged her perhaps even stronger than she had done Narcissa and Draco. "Bellatrix!" Molly said and Bellatrix generously returned the hug. The warmth and kindness that fell over her made her feel alive. Standing in the small living room she just felt the love that lingered in this house and she was grateful to be a part of it.

"Did I hear someone say Hermione?" It was Ron who walked into the living room and he smiled when he discovered the large gathering that arrived through the fireplace. Hermione ran over to him and flung her arms around his neck. From the other room Harry, Ginny, Fred and Mr Weasley appeared and suddenly the living room was crowded with people. There was barely enough space to walk, let alone breath. As Harry said hello to Bellatrix and Ron focused on Draco, Hermione couldn't help but glance over her shoulder and meet the blue eyes that belonged to Narcissa Malfoy.

"Come on in to the kitchen, while there is still room to sit!" said Mrs Weasley and everybody stumbled into the kitchen, taking whatever free seat around the table they could get. The table looked like it was about to crack under the massive amount of food in the bowls and those very same bowls magically refilled themselves as soon as somebody filled up their plate. Hermione found herself squeezed in between Narcissa on one side and Ginny on the other, whilst Bellatrix sat on the opposite side of the table, flanked by Harry and Ron and with George trying to butt into their conversation.

She turned around and looked at Mrs Weasley, who was walking behind her. "When are the others arriving?"

Mrs Weasley held still behind Hermione and looked at the young witch. "Fleur and Bill will be here late this afternoon. They only returned from France yesterday and wanted a few hours to come to their senses, I think. Charlie should be here tonight and Minerva just sent her Patronus ahead saying she will be here within the hour," she answered and she glanced at Ron for a minute "Oh and Ron's girlfriend should be here soon as well. Percy and Patricia will arrive whenever they fancy, I suppose and Andromeda should be here shortly."

"Andromeda?" Narcissa questioned in surprise and she too looked at Molly. Her blue eyes widened in surprise. "She is coming too?"

"Yes and if I am not mistaken she will bring little Teddy with her. Kingsley might pop in but I am not sure. Depends on how busy it is at the Ministry, I suppose," Molly answered and then walked on to sit with her husband. Hermione looked at Narcissa for a second and found she was looking back at her. Neither looked away, not until Harry called her from the other side of the table and Hermione focused on her best friend.

Hours passed quickly and outside the sun set behind the hills. Magical candles were lit, presents passed around and constant laughter filled the kitchen and living room of the Burrow. Minerva McGonnagal had joined them, having shared a smile with Hermione when she walked through the door. Both Bill and Fleur had arrived as well, shortly followed by Andromeda with little Teddy. The baby was passed around from lap to lap and he seemed to find this highly amusing. Charlie, Percy and Patricia all arrived together and now Kingsley Shacklebolt walked through the door and greeted the large gathering with his low, deep voice. Everybody turned and wished him a Merry Christmas.

But with so many in the house it was very warm and there was hardly any room to walk or breath. Hermione found herself standing alone in a corner, overlooking the whole gathering. Bellatrix was having an animated conversation with George and Arthur Weasley and Hermione wondered whether it had anything to do with the joke shop. Draco was beating Ron big style in wizard chess as Harry and Ginny watched. Kingsley was talking to Molly Weasley, with Minerva McGonnagal standing beside them but only partially listening as her eyes too were overlooking the room. Charlie, Percy and Patricia were debating something over a piece of parchment and Hermione assumed it had something to do with the laws concerning dragons. Fleur and Bill sat with Andromeda, little teddy soundly asleep on Fleur's lap. She appeared to be glowing, Hermione thought and she couldn't help but noticing she looked really good with a baby. Hagrid had unexpectedly turned up as well and his presence took up more than half the room.

Just as she turned around she caught a glimpse of a purple dress and platinum blonde hair leaving through the front door and Hermione quickly followed. She found Narcissa standing outside, in the cool evening air, hidden in the shadows at the side of the house. She looked up when she heard the front door open and did not appear to be surprised when she saw Hermione come after her. She didn't smile but merely looked away.

"Cissy, are you all right?" Hermione asked as she walked up to the woman who was to become her sister in law eventually. She and Bellatrix had not gotten a chance to tell anyone about their engagement yet but for now, that did not worry her. What worried her was Narcissa standing here alone, away from everybody and clearly upset about something. "Cissy, talk to me."

"It is nothing, Hermione," Narcissa answered stern, not making eye contact with the younger witch. She simply brushed some hair out of her face. "I merely needed fresh air. It is after all very busy inside."

"Do you wish you had not come here tonight?" Hermione asked carefully and she too stepped into the shadows, now standing only two or three steps away from Narcissa "I do not think anyone will blame you if you go home, though I feel as if you wish to stay."

Narcissa pointed at the house. Through a window Hermione saw Minerva McGonagall. Was she mistaken or did the witch's blue eyes just briefly connect with hers? She shook her head and looked back at Narcissa. "I received my divorce papers yesterday. Lucius finally agreed to sign them." She hesitated. "It is all over."

Hermione remembered what McGonagall had said to her right before the Christmas holidays but shook the thought out of her head. It was not something she could trouble Narcissa with now. And she doubted Narcissa wanted to know her ex-husband had taken in an orphan from Durmstrang. She reached out and touched Narcissa's arm. The other woman did not pull away. Hermione came closer. "I am sorry, Cissy."

Narcissa looked up and her eyes met Hermione's. Tears were falling from her eyes and suddenly Hermione realized the grief Narcissa must be feeling. She swallowed as she tried to think of something to say, something comforting and warm. She could not think of anything and therefore simply wrapped her arms around her and pulled Narcissa into her embrace. She was surprised to feel how willingly Narcissa let herself fall into Hermione's arm. As she held her lover's sister Hermione picked up the sweet scent of her perfume. Narcissa smelled of dark roses and summer rain. It was a smell like no other Hermione had ever smelled before. When Narcissa then slowly moved away she never broke the eye contact that lingered between them.

Without warning the skies opened over their heads and thick, heavy raindrops fell to the ground. Hermione had grabbed her wand first and cast a silent protection spell which prevented her and Narcissa from getting wet. Around the rain crashed onto the ground and the roof of the Burrow but they still stood in the shadows together.

"We must go back inside," Narcissa whispered, never breaking the eye contact. Almost subconsciously her hand had reached up and touched Hermione's hair. She was shaking, she realized. Not Hermione, herself. She quickly lowered her hand but Hermione grabbed it unexpectedly and just held it for a few seconds. It was as if time around them had come to a stop. As if the world had simply stopped moving.

"You look at me," Hermione whispered softly, still not looking away but carefully coming even closer. Her body nearly touched Narcissa's. She could feel her breath against her face, the heat from her body radiating against her own. "You look at me when you think I cannot see. Those stolen glances."

"Hermione, don't," Narcissa stopped her and stepped away from Hermione and the protection of her spell. She ran through the rain back to the front door and disappeared back inside. Hermione felt confused. She couldn't understand what had just happened, if anything at all. She closed her eyes and stepped away from the safety of her spell. She looked up to the sky, the rain falling roughly on her skin. Within seconds she was soaked. Her dress was drenched, her hair stuck to her face. And with the rain falling from her face her tears became unnoticed.

"Hermione, what in Merlin's name are you doing out there?" Minerva called from the open door. She watched the young witch standing in the pouring rain, soaking wet with her face lifted up to the sky. She now looked at Minerva McGonagall in the open door, brown meeting blue. Hermione sighed before quickly running to the door and squeezing past Minerva. She felt the warm glow of Minerva's spell as it hit her. Her dress immediately became dry and her hair dried too. She wanted to walk away but Minerva took her arm. "Are you going to tell me what you were doing out there in the pouring rain?"

Hermione didn't look at Minerva. Instead her eyes wandered across the room, finding those other blue eyes she wanted to see. Narcissa was looking at her. Hermione looked away and then glanced up to McGonagall's face. Her answer was simple.

"No," She paused. "Are you going to tell me why you have been watching me all night?"

She knew she wouldn't get an answer. She had refused to tell Minerva what had happened outside and therefore the Headmistress would not tell her why she had been watching her. "No."

"Hermione, love?" Bellatrix called and Hermione smiled when she found her lover approaching her. She looked so beautiful in the golden candle light and she happily took her hand. Bellatrix leant in, her lips brushing against Hermione's ear. Her hand slipped around Hermione's waist, pulling her closer into her. "We'd better tell them now, before people go home, darling. Do you still want to tell them?"

"Of course my love," Hermione answered softly and threw one more look at McGonagall before she walked with Bellatrix into the middle of the room. She kept feeling Minerva's eyes in her back. Bellatrix picked up her glass and tapped it briefly with her spoon. People turned around, dozens of eyes now resting upon them. Hermione looked up, capturing Bellatrix's dark brown eyes with her own. All she wanted was to press her lips against her and whisper how much she loved her.

"Hermione and I have an announcement to make," Bellatrix said and from the crowd there were a few excited whispers but they subsided when Hermione raised her hand. She glanced up to Bellatrix before her eyes sought Ron and Harry. They were standing side by side, with Ginny next to Harry. Mr and Mrs Weasley stood behind them. Hermione didn't know why but she was unable to look away from them. They were her family. The closest thing to a family she had. And she knew that Harry would understand. She knew he felt the same way.

"Bella and I," Hermione started, grasping Bellatrix's hand a little bit tighter but still not looking away from her friends. She didn't quite know why she was so afraid of their reaction. They had accepted her and Bellatrix so far. "We are engaged. We are going to get married."

There was a cheer from the crowd and much to Hermione's pleasure she found it was Harry. He was joined by Ron and Ginny whilst the others clapped and applauded. Someone whistled somewhere and she realized it had been Draco. Hagrid marched over to her, patting her on the shoulder so hard it felt as if she was being drilled into the ground. Mr and Mrs Weasley were next. They hugged Hermione and then Bellatrix. Then, there was that unexpected hand on her shoulder and Hermione spun around. Minerva looked at her. There was something flickering in her mentor's eyes and Hermione wanted to walk away. Minerva had no intention to let her.

"Hermione, we need to talk. If not now than maybe when you get back to Hogwarts," Minerva said, making it very clear there was no avoiding her. She averted her eyes from Hermione and they focused on somebody else in the crowd. Hermione followed Minerva's eyes and found Narcissa standing frozen to the ground. Her pale blue eyes were dull. When she saw Hermione look at her, she turned around and approached Bellatrix to congratulate her. But she never came close to Hermione again.


	22. Running Through The Thunderstorm

**Ama me fideliter, Fidem meam toto,**  
**Decorde totaliter, Et ex mente tota,**  
**Sum presentialiter, Absens in remota.**_  
Love me faithfully, See how I am faithful,_  
_With all my heart and all my soul,_  
_I am with you, even though I am far away._

* * *

The Hogwarts Express blew its final whistle and subconsciously Hermione turned to the window to look outside. Bellatrix was standing on the platform, smiling. She waved and Hermione waved back. Yet the smile on her lips was fake. The tormenting pain inside her stomach made her feel sick. She found those dark brown eyes and would give anything to just run her hands through those black curls again. Anything to kiss that tender flesh and to simply open her eyes in the morning and find her lying next to her. It was in all those moments that she pain she felt inside did not exist.

"I love you," mouthed Bellatrix from the platform. Hermione was sure she had actually shouted it but the noise of the departing train just blocked out her voice completely.

"I love you too!" Hermione shouted as she stuck her hand out of the window and waved just as long as she could see the platform. Then she fell back in her seat with a desperate sight and ran her hands through her hair before her fingers dropped to her neck and cherished the chain that hung around it. After that, her eyes found the sparkling engagement ring on her finger. When she had explained Muggle traditions about engagement Bellatrix had insisted on buying her a ring.

Hermione closed her eyes as she remembered the events of the Christmas holidays. After the strange thing that happened at the Burrow she and Bellatrix returned home. She had no idea when Draco and Narcissa arrived but when she woke on Boxing Day both were back and Narcissa had already prepared breakfast. Bellatrix had talked enthusiastically about the events of the previous night as Draco quizzed Hermione about their engagement. Narcissa however, never spoke a word.

During the days that followed Bellatrix had to go back to work occasionally though she had tried to spend most of her time with Hermione. Hermione had ceased these moments to introduce Bellatrix to some Muggle activities and took her into downtown London for some sightseeing and shopping. It was as if another world had opened for her lover and Bellatrix had whispered "I cannot believe I allowed myself to hate all of this."

Night after night they lay in bed together, sometimes their screams muffled by the power of magic whereas other nights they simply lay in each other's arms and whispered about their dreams for the future. Hermione had spoken of her decision to become a Healer once she graduated from Hogwarts and the day before returning to school she and Bellatrix had paid a visit to _St_**. **_Mungo's Hospital_ for Magical Maladies and Injuries and an agreement had been put up that when Hermione had finished Hogwarts she would start her training as a Healer. Knowing she had finally placed another stone for her future made her feel stronger.

But now Hogwarts lay ahead of her. She remembers those words from Minerva, spoken on Christmas Day. And simply because of that she feared returning. She knew Minerva would come to find her. She knew what her mentor was like and she knew there was no avoiding her. Though avoiding her was all she wanted. Even more so, she wanted to avoid herself.

"Hi Hermione," came Harry's voice from the open carriage door and she took a deep breath. She forced those stinging tears back into the darkness where they came from and looked up to meet his green eyes. Another smile fell across her lips. A smile only she knew to be fake.

"Hi Harry," she returned the greeting and behind him she found Ron and Ginny. They all sat down and debated how their Christmas holidays had been like. Ginny told her that she and Harry had found a place to live and would move in during the Eater Holidays. It was in Surrey, not too far from where Harry was raised. She mentioned how her mother had pulled a face when she heard Surrey but then had pulled up her shoulders and whispered something about "At least it's not Romania."

"Wow!" Harry said. He had spotted the ring around Hermione's finger. Being the only one with knowledge of Muggle traditions he reached for her hand to examine the ring more closely. "That is one hell of a rock, Hermione!"

"Harry, that's a ring! Not a rock!" Ron said and frowned. Both Harry and Hermione laughed.

"Harry means the diamond, Ronald. It also known as a rock," Hermione giggled. Sometimes both forgot Ginny and Ron had had very little to do with the Muggle world when they were growing up. She leant in and showed it to Ron and Ginny. The ring was thin and looked fragile, yet it was made of white gold and carried the most beautiful white and pink diamond a ring could possibly hold. It wasn't big but the colours and its beauty were enough to draw attention. Much like Hermione herself, Bellatrix had said when she put it on her finger. "It is a Muggle tradition to buy your fiancée a ring once you have asked her to marry you. I told Bella and she insisted upon buying me one. You should have seen the face of the Goblin at Gringotts when she asked to change her wizard money to be changed into sterling."

They all laughed. Goblins were extremely proud and to ask them to change wizard galleons into British pounds was almost an insult but Bellatrix, still carrying the admiration that came with her last names, knew how to play those little freaks and they did what she had asked them to without question.

"Dad says Narcissa Malfoy got a job at the Ministry as well," Ron suddenly said and Hermione turned her head so quick she felt a muscle snap in her neck and she flinched in pain "I think Kingsley wanted her to work with Bella but Narcissa declined. She requested a position connected with Wizarding laws and health care instead."

"Now that she has a job she may move out soon," Ginny suggested and Hermione glanced at her briefly before her eyes drifted to the window and she looked at the English countryside flash by. She hadn't even given that option a thought.

"Yeah maybe," Hermione answered and then picked up a book. Her friends knew her well enough. She always had her nose in a book after all, so the conversation went on without her taking part. But as they were all talking animatedly, none of them noticed Hermione wasn't looking at the pages of the book. Her eyes kept drifting away to the window and no one saw how she fought back her tears.

As the Hogwarts Express rolled into Hogsmeade station Hermione waited till everybody else had left the train before getting off herself. She carried Tonks' cage but left it by the pile of trunks that would be taken to the castle and when she stepped onto the platform she noticed how all the others had gone. She saw the last carriage drive off into the dark distance and she sighed. She didn't mind having to walk up to the castle alone.

It would give her time to think, to clear her mind and to come up with whatever answer she was going to use if she would run into Minerva. She wrapped her cloak a bit tighter around her, her fingers around her wand though she was unsure why she did this and then she started walking. Her steps were firm. Her heart began racing faster with every step. The burning pain in her eyes from all the unshed tears was becoming stronger.

"Good evening Miss Granger."

She spun around at the sharp voice that belonged to Minerva McGonnagal. The first thought in her head was how the Headmistress had known exactly where to find her, the second question was why she wasn't in the castle waiting for the feast to start. As Hermione carefully looked up her brown eyes met Minerva's blue and she regretted doing so almost immediately because Minerva's eyes fought their way into Hermione's and did not let her go.

"Why are you not on one of the carriages?" Minerva asked, her voice losing its sharpness quickly as she looked at Hermione more closely.

"Because I missed them," Hermione didn't try to be smart but the words rolled out anyway. "I was trying to gather my books and when I got off the train the carriages were gone." It wasn't a complete lie but it wasn't the complete truth either. She couldn't look away. Minerva's eyes held her captures but all she wanted was to break this chain and run off into the night.

"I see. I am not even going to ask you why you did not simply summon your books, Hermione," Minerva said softly and cocked her head slightly to the side. Hermione knew her Headmistress did not believe her. "But for now, we must hurry or else we will leave our friends and fellow students and teachers waiting for us. Come."

And Minerva started walking. Hermione had no choice but to increase her pace and catch up with her. Several minutes passed as they walked in silence. It was, eventually, Minerva once again who held still and took Hermione's arm. "Tonight may not be the night to talk, Hermione but I do wish for you to speak to me at some point."

Hermione nodded. She knew she had no choice. She and Minerva had reached the metal gates and with a simple wave from her wand they opened and let the two witches in. They walked their way to the castle in silence. Hermione's eyes looked up to the magnificent building and how it cast its candle lit glow against the black sky. When she glanced beside her she found Minerva doing the same and she wondered if she too remembered the night they fought to save this castle. When she saw the sad look in her blue eyes she knew she did.

When she walked into the Great Hall, accompanied by Minerva, she found Harry and Ron immediately looking in her direction. She didn't make eye contact but slipped into her seat quietly as Minerva made her way to the teachers table to speak to her students and announce the opening of the new trimester. The buzzing in the Great Hall fell quiet when Minerva spoke.

"Good evening. I hope all of you have had the pleasure of enjoying a beautiful holiday with your families. It is the moments with loved ones that make life so much more precious." Minerva said and it was as if the warmth of her voice carried through the Hall because people shared surprised looks with each other "Before we start our feast, let me leave you with a simple few words of possible wisdom. Treasure what you have because you may never know how long something lasts. However, it is the mystery that needs to be discovered and explored and only you can be the adventurer of your own life."

"What a load of toss!" Ron pulled a face and Harry agreed. Ginny just pulled up her shoulders but Hermione still stared at her Headmistress. She had not considered those words what Ron called ' a load of toss'. She had recognised them for what they were and suddenly she wasn't hungry anymore. As the plates and bowls before them filled with the most delicious food Hermione felt her stomach twist and she stood up.

Ginny gave her a concerned look. "Are you all right?"

"I'm just, I'm feeling sick. I don't think I want to eat right now," Hermione whispered before spinning around on her heels and heading for the door. She felt those blue eyes pierce in her back but did not turn around. She ran up the Spiral Staircase and through several of the corridors before she finally collapsed against a wall. Her tears were streaming down her face, burning the tender flesh of her cheeks and her chest was heaving as she cried. She buried her hands in her brown curls as she pulled up her legs and tried to make herself as small she possibly could. She sat in the shadow and somewhere in the distance she could hear footsteps.

"Maybe tonight is the right night after all, Miss Granger," Minerva whispered as she knelt down beside Hermione and lifted up her face. Hermione kept her eyes closed. She didn't want to look at her Headmistress. She felt embarrassed and ashamed for being seen in such a state and she promised herself it would be the last time. Carefully, and with her teeth clenched together, she looked up.

"No, not tonight," she said as she rose to her feet. Minerva was still sitting on her knees and looked up to the young woman now standing before her. "I need to go. Goodnight, Professor."

And with those words she turned around and left Minerva surprised and still sitting on the floor. Somewhere in the castle she could hear the dozens of footsteps that announced students were on the move and she hurried her way up the stairs to the Gryffindor Common room and went to her Dormitory. She climbed into bed and covered her head with her blanket and sheets.

It didn't take long for the door to open and Ginny to peer around. Her voice betrayed her worry. "Hermione, are you all right? Are you sick? Do you want me to get Madam Pomfrey? Or maybe Professor McGonnagal?"

"No, it's okay, but thanks Ginny," Hermione whispered from under her covers. She couldn't bear facing her friend right now. "If I still feel this bad in the morning I will pop by the Hospital Wing before class." She heard the door close and removed the blankets. She took a deep breath and brushed a stray tear away.

_Why am I feeling this way__? _It was the one thought that kept running through her head.

She remembered Christmas Day at the Weasley's. It was when it all started. The moment she had outside with Narcissa kept returning, images flashed before her eyes. Something had happened that night. Something she had seen in Narcissa's eyes. She had been right when she whispered she had seen Narcissa look at her. She had seen the glances and the stares the blonde hair witched threw at her. How she looked away whenever Hermione's eyes went to meet hers. But why all of this? Why now? And why Narcissa?

Was she so much like her sister she even loved the same woman? Had this blonde woman not once been married to one of the other Death Eaters? Was she not the mother of a boy who during six years in Hogwarts had become her enemy? Was she so much like Bellatrix that she was willing to let herself suffer? Was she so much like her sister she would suffer in silence, never to speak of what she felt while the sadness shimmered in her eyes?

Hermione wanted to rip herself to pieces as she thought about all of this. She could not erase the image of Narcissa's face so close to her own. She was unsure what to think. Narcissa was Bella's sister. She was Draco's mother. She was Lucius' ex-wife. She was everything she knew she could never reach. And she was unsure if part of her even wanted to. She was intrigued by Narcissa's display of emotions, clearly feeling something underneath the surface that she did not wish to be known.

Hermione sat up and slipped out of bed, dragging her duvet with her to the window. She climbed into the windowsill with her duvet safely and warm wrapped around her. She stared out of the window. She played with the ring around her finger and remembered how she and Bellatrix said goodbye last night. It had maybe been their most intense love making yet. Deep red scratches marked her back and she had dark purple bruises on her wrists, neck and chest. Yet the memories of it only made her smile and she felt lightheaded remembering Bellatrix's glorious white skin against her on. This morning she found her lover with a bruised lip from where she had kissed and bitten her. Her skin too had been marked ungraciously, with scratches and bruises everywhere. Whereas Bellatrix had cleared most of her injuries, because of work, Hermione had chosen not to.

"I wish you were here with me tonight," Hermione whispered into nothing "I need you so much, Bella. More than you can ever know."

Two hours passed before Ginny, Sarah and Lisa walked into the Dormitory. Hermione had climbed back into bed by then and pretended to be asleep. She heard Ginny walk around her bed, checking to make sure she was all right, before climbing into her own and wishing everybody goodnight. Hermione lay still and let the darkness overwhelm her. Dawn was still hours away.

The days passed quickly and soon February had arrived. After a Transfiguration class that had lasted for two hours that felt like a century, Hermione gathered her books and glanced over her shoulder to see Ron and Harry already leaving the classroom. Nervously she grabbed her quill and her ink but knocked the jar over and the black liquid dripped onto the floor. She groaned and attempted to take her wand from her pocket whilst holding onto her books.

"Never mind, Hermione," Minerva said and with a simple flick of her wand the ink disappeared "though I would suggest you refill your ink jar". She put a hand on Hermione's shoulder and kindly forced her to turn around and look at her. She had observed her during class. She had seen the dark rings around her eyes and only now did Minerva see how pale Hermione was. She looked like she hadn't slept in days and in fact she wasn't far from the truth. Her hair was even bushier than normal; a clear sign Hermione had neglected her own physical wellbeing as much as her mental state. The classroom door closed magically and Hermione knew there was no way she would be able to get away now.

"Hermione, are you all right?" Minerva asked carefully as she attempted to meet Hermione's brown eyes but the younger witch simply stared at the floor. "I can't recall seeing you during dinner times the past few days. And you look like you have not slept for days!"

"Thanks," Hermione answered cynically and now she looked up. "I have been eating on my own, Professor." It was a lie. She had barely eaten at all. She would come up with some excuse as to why she didn't have to go into the Great Hall, or lie about her presence being missed.

"Hermione, do not lie to me," Minerva said firmly and finally she caught Hermione's eyes. "I can see something is troubling you. I just want you to know that whenever you wish, you can come to me."

"I am fine, Professor. Honest!" Hermione said, becoming more and more desperate to walk away from the situation and she grabbed her books a bit tighter "I just have some things on my mind, that's all." She hadn't realized she had just given Minerva the one opening she needed.

"I am inclined to agree with that straight away. With a brand new engagement and a wedding to plan and…" Minerva said friendly, carefully observing the look in Hermione's eyes. "Narcissa?"

"I need to go," Hermione said quickly but realized Transfiguration was her last lesson of the day. She had nowhere else to be. She recognised defeat when it lay right in front of her and she dropped her books on the nearest desk. Minerva realized Hermione had the intention to talk and watched carefully as the young witch started pacing around her classroom. Desperation was written all over her face.

"I love Bella more than anything else in this world. She went through so much because of me and I am grateful. I love her. I can't imagine my life without her," Hermione said and turned around to find Minerva looking at her, smiling weakly. "I am going to marry her. And I want to but, that night at the Weasley's. Narcissa and I talked. There was something, something she said, or something she did. I told her I had seen her look at me and she didn't deny it. But why do I feel this way?"

"So you think Narcissa feels something for you?" Minerva asked, though it appeared an obvious question because Hermione's eyes widened.

"I am not sure. I think so. She has been acting rather odd, Hermione whispered softly and fought back her tears "But how? And why? I mean her and Lucius... She is Bella's sister! I am in a relationship with her sister!"

"I think Narcissa is very much aware of all these things, which would explain why she has been acting odd and retreats herself in the way you describe. She knows she has no business stepping in and I do not think that is what she wishes. If I remember correctly, Narcissa is a very proud person and will do anything to protect her loved ones. I this case that would be Bellatrix. She doesn't want to see her hurt because she feels something for you. But yet she wants to be selfish and feel the way she does. And not to mention the confusion she must be experiencing. She was married to Lucius for a long time," Minerva answered and she saw how Hermione slowly relaxed "Hermione, tell me, do you have feelings for Narcissa?"

Hermione felt as if she had been slapped in her face. She just stood nailed to the floor as those final words sunk into her. She shook her head. "No. I love Bellatrix. Narcissa is just a friend. A friend who will become my sister in law soon," she whispered but her voice was shaky. "Yes, Cissy is just a friend. And I love Bellatrix. She is the woman who has captures my heart."

"Than it should be her you see when you close your eyes," Minerva said, seeing how Hermione still fought her battles and demons. She took the younger witch's hand. "I wish I could tell you things became easier in life when you get older but unfortunately I cannot lie to you. Life, and love, will always be complicated and sometimes you look back and wish you had made different choices. You are young, Hermione. Life has not been kind to you and I can only hope further turmoil will not come your way. But you are a clever witch, Hermione. You will find your own answers."

Hermione looked up to her mentor. Tears were stinging in her eyes. "I have to go, professor." She forced a smile on her face. "I will see you at dinner time." She picked up her books and left the classroom. Minerva watched her leave and a sad, worried sigh escaped from her throat when she saw the door close behind Hermione. She knew something the younger witch had told her wasn't true. But she was yet to figure out what it was.

Hermione joined her classmates and friends for dinner in the Great Hall that night. She caught Minerva's eyes and her Headmistress smiled when she saw Hermione eat and drink. Hermione looked at Ginny, Ron and Harry and wondered if they ever felt this tormented. If any of them would understand, it had to be Ginny. Not because she had felt this way but because she was a girl and had a bit more understanding about emotions and feelings than either Ron or Harry. Since Ginny was sitting beside her, she leant in.

"Hey, can I talk to you, later? There is something I would like to discuss," Hermione whispered and Ginny knew better than to turn around and answer. Harry and Ron would only notice and she suspected Hermione wanted it to be private. So she simply nodded and picked up her pumpkin juice.

"Yes. Meet me in the girls' bathroom on the sixth floor after dinner. It should be empty," she muttered into her cup, loud enough for only Hermione to hear.

After dinner Hermione made her way to the sixth floor and found Ginny already waiting for her. The youngest Weasley soundproofed the door before magically locking it so no one could overhear or come in. She was leaning against the sink and looked worried when Hermione come in.

"Ok, spill it!" Ginny said instantly and waited for Hermione to speak.

"It's not that easy, Ginny," Hermione whispered softly and she played with her fingers "I just need someone to talk to and I don't know what to do or where to go. And I don't want you to judge me or think badly of me."

"This is about Bellatrix, isn't it?" Ginny asked, feeling a great sense of worry "Hermione, what's going on?"

"It's not about Bellatrix. Well, not really," Hermione said softly and brushed a tear from the corner of her eye "Did you notice how during Christmas I went outside with Narcissa?"

Ginny cocked her head and watched her friend. Suddenly an unexpected though came up in her head and her blue eyes widened in shock and surprise. "Hang on, what's going on here? Are you trying to tell me that you and Narcissa...?"

"No, no! It's not like that!" Hermione quickly said and shook her head, almost shocked Ginny could even think such a thing "No! Not me and Narcissa. Just Narcissa, I suppose. Ginny, I believe she is in love with me! Or at least has some kind of feelings for me! She didn't even deny it! What the hell am I supposed to do with that? What am I supposed to think and feel?"

"What do you feel?" Ginny asked curiously "Since you are so upset about it, it makes me think you must feel something about all of this."

"I love Bellatrix!" Hermione nearly screamed those words. Her tears now streamed freely down her face "Damnit, I love her! Why does Narcissa have to create such a problem?"

"Hermione, you need to be honest with yourself. You can love someone and still feel something for someone else, you know. And it doesn't mean you love the other any less. Love is just complicated," Ginny said and pointed at herself "Look at me. I managed to care for others whilst really I loved Harry. Though Dean definitely holds a place in my heart. He is very dear to me. Do you feel guilty?"

Hermione realized Ginny had hit the nail on the head. She did feel guilty. She just didn't quite know what for. She looked up to her friend and through her tears she cried. "Thank you, Ginny. Things have become a lot clearer."

Without hesitation she spun around and ran out of the toilets, leaving Ginny stunned and surprised. She ran straight to the common room and to her pleasure and comfort it was empty. She knew the fireplace was connected to the network, since Sirius had managed to contact them before. She knelt down and glanced over her shoulder before attempting to contact home. To her horror it was not Bellatrix's face that appeared in the flames. She was confronted with Narcissa.

"Hermione dear, is everything all right?" Narcissa asked, her voice betraying her worries.

"Yes, everything is fine. I just wanted to speak to Bella. Is she there?" Hermione asked and for a few minutes Narcissa disappeared to find Bellatrix and Hermione just stared into the flames. Sitting here on her knees, knowing her lover was on the other side, made her feel safe and it was the closest thing to being home and not feeling so lonely. Finally Bellatrix's face appeared and she too looked worried. Hermione's heart leapt up when she saw the dark haired witch's face in the flames and she suppressed the urge to kiss the fire.

"Is everything ok, love?" Bellatrix wanted to know when she saw Hermione's face and when she looked at her closely she suddenly saw how bad and hollow she looked. "Merlin's beard Hermione, when was the last time you slept or ate? Are they putting so much homework on you that you have forgotten to look after yourself properly?"

Hermione felt guilty for scaring her lover and she promised herself she would have to do better from now on. "I promise I will take a nice bath, have something to eat and go to bed early," she said and reached out to the fire "I wish I could touch you." Her fingers only felt the heat from the fire. Her heart ached in her chest and for a brief second she wondered whether Narcissa was still in the room with Bellatrix. She doubted it. "I miss you."

"And I miss you," Bellatrix whispered, her voice almost completely taken away by the sound of the fire "I miss you every day. I am counting down till the Eater holidays, you know."

Hermione glanced over her shoulder. The common room was still empty, though she wondered who would tell her off since she was a seventh year after all. "You know what you said. about coming to visit me?" She grinned mischievously and saw how Bellatrix did the same. Their minds thought alike. It was clear Narcissa was indeed gone. "Maybe you can come tomorrow night. Friday nights' teachers become less careful since it's the end of the week and they are all dying for the weekend and most of them go to the Three Broomsticks anyway. I am sure we can get away with not being seen or heard."

Bellatrix's lips curled up into a devilish little grin. "I will Apparate in the Shrieking Shack and make my way into the caste from there. Doesn't Harry have a map on which you can see everything and everybody? Borrow it off him, I will wait for you to come and find me. I doubt he will have any issues with you using it for one night. Molly's been telling me all about his little escapades with Ginny all over the castle."

Hermione smiled. She was breaking every possible school rule but she didn't care. She had to. She had to see Bellatrix. She had to be with her. And tonight, she would ask Harry for his Marauder's Map. "I will see you tomorrow night," she whispered softly, hearing footsteps coming from the entrance "I love you."

"I love you too, Hermione," Bellatrix's words faded with her face and within seconds there was nothing else in the fireplace but the yellow flames. Hermione still sat on her knees but stood up when Harry and Ron walked in. She walked up to Harry and took his arm before dragging him to the side. Ron began setting up a game of chess and didn't pay attention to either of them. Hermione was quite glad about it. She didn't mind her friends knowing she was up to no good but to tell them with which intentions she did so was a bit... personal.

"Harry, I need to borrow your Map," Hermione whispered and Harry didn't even have to ask why.

"She is coming to the castle, isn't she?" he whispered with a twinkle in his eyes and Hermione grinned.

"Yeah, but I don't fancy an encounter with McGonnagal like you and Ginny had. And I have to find her when she gets here so that Map is my only chance. Have you got it?" Hermione asked and Harry pulled the parchment from his robes. She took it and hit it in her own. Her plan was about to succeed. She gave Harry one more thankful look before she did what she had promised Bellatrix and went for a nice relaxing bath before taking herself to bed early without even looking at her homework.


	23. True Knowledge Lies Inside One's Self

**A/N:** Ok, So Narcissa spills the truth and Hermione and Bellatrix share something they have never really shared before.  
Trust me when I say that nothing will happen between Narcissa and Hermione. I have come up with a plot for a new story and I will write it once I am finished with this one :-) That will of course be a Hermione/Narcissa pairing. But for now, enjoy Bellatrix/Hermione.

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_It is wisdom to know others;__  
It is enlightenment to know one's self._

Hermione unfolded the Marauders Map and tapped it with her wand. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" On the parchment appeared the outlay of Hogwarts. Several arrows told her the positions of teachers and fellow students and much to her pleasure she found Minerva in her office, not moving much. She appeared to be working, which made it very likely she wouldn't march around the corridors looking for students misbehaving. Harry and Ron were in the common room. Harry had given her a mischievous look when she climbed through the portrait. He knew where she was going.

Hermione could do nothing more but wait for Bellatrix to appear on her map. Anxiously her eyes scanned the parchment, occasionally glancing to make sure Minerva was still in her office. It was after curfew and getting caught would most likely result in some form of punishment. Her heart leapt up when all of a sudden, on the fourth floor, the arrow with Bellatrix Lestrange appeared. And it didn't move so Bellatrix was staying where she was.

Hermione ran down the several flights of stairs that lead down to the fourth floor corridor. She made sure she was alone before making her way down, noticing how she was closing in on Bellatrix steadily. The tip of her wand was glowing tenderly and all of a sudden two strong arms grabbed her and pulled her into the shadows.

Hermione only just managed not to scream. She felt Bellatrix's proud curves press against her body from behind and submissively pressed herself against her lover's body. Their meeting had only one goal.

"I missed you," Bellatrix whispered, her breath hot against Hermione's skin and her lips tenderly cherished the flesh of her neck. Hermione moaned in pleasure, feeling both the excitement from breaking the rules and the risk of being caught and how Bellatrix's hands already impatiently had slipped under her jumper, her fingernails grazing the skin of her stomach before playfully sliding upwards towards her breasts.

"Bella," Hermione whispered softly as she managed to turn around and faced her lover. In the weak light of the hall she could see the lust flicker in those deep brown eyes. The same lust she felt roaring passionately inside herself. She caught Bellatrix's lips and kissed her, hungry to feel her so intensely. She pushed her up the wall as her hands eagerly explored her lover's body and found she was wearing simple robes. Her fingers entwined in those black curls as her lips trailed down the soft skin of Bellatrix's neck.

"We can't stay in the hallway. Too easy to be seen," Bellatrix fought for air and the words only just managed to fall from her lips. She gasped for air when Hermione nibbled on her earlobe. "Girls bathroom."

Hermione grabbed Bellatrix's hand and dragged her to the girl's bathrooms down the hall. They slipped inside and Hermione magically locked and soundproofed the door. Before she fully realized it Bellatrix had pinned her up the cold stone wall and her lips had captured Hermione's once again. She was hungry and passionate, her hands once again eagerly slipping underneath Hermione's white jumper and cherishing the swell of her breasts. She felt Hermione's nipples harden through the silk fabric of her bra and playfully rolled them between her fingers. Hermione threw her head back, her curls sliding aside and exposing the bare flesh of her neck.

Bellatrix pleasantly took advantage of the soft flesh exposed to her and grazed it with her teeth, sucking with her lips and leaving several bright red marks on white porcelain skin. Hermione groaned in pleasure as Bellatrix's thigh pressed her legs apart and then pressed roughly against her core.

Hermione's slim fingers unhooked Bellatrix's ropes and peeled the cotton material down her skin, revealing her beautiful skin before attacking it roughly with her teeth. Bellatrix stepped out of her robes, now wearing nothing more than laced silk underwear that separated Hermione from what she desired so badly.

Bellatrix pulled Hermione's jumper over her head before her hands lowered down her stomach and unzipped her jeans. She managed to peel it down her legs and Hermione kicked them off, now standing before her lover in her white silk underwear that clung to her body.

Bellatrix's impatient lips trailed down from the side of Hermione's neck to her collarbone and then lower to her breasts. She skilfully unhooked her bra and exposed the proud upstanding nipples. Her hot lips closed around them, causing Hermione to groan in pleasure as she buried her hands in Bellatrix's black curls. She was standing upright, still pinned firmly against the wall. Slim fingers lowered down her stomach and cherished the heat and tender wetness that was detectable through her knickers. Without warning Bellatrix pulled them aside, her fingers carefully tracing the soft entrance and the wetness between her folds.

"Oh my," Hermione moaned, spreading her legs further as she felt Bellatrix kneel down to the floor. She cried out when her lover entered her, dipping generously into her awaiting wetness. Bellatrix thrusted firmly into her before carefully letting her tongue trace the warm inside of Hermione's folds and to taste her sweetness.

Hermione shivered, her legs trembled as Bellatrix's thrust matched the moans that escaped from her throat. Hermione balanced on her toes as the ultimate sensation quickly approached. Her nails dug firmly into Bellatrix's skin, drawing deep red drops of blood. Bellatrix's flicks with her tongue became quicker, more demanding and more urgent. Her free hand cupped Hermione's breasts while at the same time it gave her the support to stand on her legs as her orgasm approached quickly.

Bellatrix gasped in amazement when she tasted those beautiful juices. Hermione's body was trembling above her head. She carefully pulled away and rose to her feet, wrapping her arms around her and carefully kissed the side of her neck and then her lips. Hermione's eyes finally stopped rolling and she captured Bellatrix's lips with her own, kissing her gently as she flung her arms around her neck to secure herself.

"I love you so much," Hermione whispered, pressing her body against Bellatrix's. She felt lost, alone and longed so badly for Bellatrix's company. Whenever they were together it was as if all the painful questions in her head did not exist and she managed to just breathe without feeling sad or lost. "I cannot stand not having you with me. I cannot stand being so lonely."

"We will have our chance soon," Bellatrix whispered and brushed some curls out of Hermione's face. "Tell me love, why have you been neglecting yourself? You look like you haven't eaten for days and you have rings around your eyes. Are you feeling all right?"

Hermione shivered. For no apparent reason she had gone terribly cold. She couldn't tell Bellatrix about Narcissa. She couldn't do that to her. Or to the other woman. She swallowed back her tears and managed to avert her eyes. "I am fine. I have just been thinking a lot."

Bellatrix picked up Hermione's jeans and jumper and smiled when she saw her lover's confused face. She cupped her cheek and carefully cherished the skin of her face with her fingers. "Hermione, I would never expect you to do anything you are not quite ready for. And I can see that at this moment you are not ready. Come on my love, get dressed. We'll go for a walk. You can share your thoughts with me."

And so Hermione got dressed and watched as Bellatrix covered herself in her robes again. Bellatrix was right. At this moment she wasn't ready, no matter how frustrated she felt about this. She ran her hands through her hair and felt the burning hot bite marks on her skin. She reminded herself to come up with something just in case anyone would ask. She did not want to magically erase them. For the next few days at least it would be the nearest thing, yet silent, reminder of Bellatrix. She unlocked the door and they stepped into the corridor. Bellatrix followed Hermione through the castle as they made their way to the Entrance Hall.

Hermione found her way easily to the courtyard and climbed onto the one of the walls. Bellatrix did the same and they sat side by side underneath the pale moonlight. Hermione rested her head on Bellatrix's shoulder and felt so much more relaxed when she felt her lover play with her hair.

"I want you to know you can tell me everything," Bellatrix whispered and looked at Hermione. Her lover still had the dark rings around her eyes and she looked pale. Now that she had seen her naked she could tell she had lost weight and she felt worried though she did well in hiding it. She did not need Hermione to worry about what she felt, since it was clear she had enough on her mind. "Hermione, be truthful. What is troubling you?"

"I need to find my mum and dad," Hermione said softly. Her tears burned behind her eyes but she didn't want to cry. She felt hollow, empty and she fought a harsh battle to hide the pain she felt underneath. She was not sure why she did this. Why she lied to her lover about how desperate she felt. "I can't go on not knowing whether they are alive or dead and so much is happening at once and I don't know what to do with it anymore. I am back at Hogwarts and I am going to get married. I moved into a new house and I lost some of my friends and I am just so tired!"

Bellatrix listened, reading carefully between the lines Hermione spoke. "Do you really want to get married, Hermione? There is no reason why we cannot wait."

Hermione looked up. "I want to marry you, Bella, but," She paused as she tried to find words. "Have you ever thought about how we met? The circumstances? And how things have been since? How our lives have taken this road? How, if ever, did we really get to know each other? How well do you know me?"

Bellatrix frowned at all these questions, wondering where Hermione had come up with them. Yet she could not deny she had thought about this herself. She had spent several nights with Narcissa, sitting by the fire, as she spoke about the extraordinary relationship she had with Hermione. Narcissa had never been one to agree or disagree but Bellatrix knew her sister better. In her eyes she could see Narcissa had the same questions she did.

"What is my favourite colour? My favourite food? When did I have my first kiss? What is my favourite class to take?" Hermione whispered, tears now dripping from her eyes and she captured Bellatrix's eyes "I do not want us to still be strangers, Bella. I love you but I feel like I hardly know you. You are still so much of a mystery to me. And you never told me about Rodolphus. About your marriage to him, your life with him."

"There is not much to be said," Bellatrix answered defensively but she realized it was not what Hermione needed to hear. "Our marriage was arranged by our parents. It was a great opportunity to bond two of the most powerful Wizarding families." She paused. "Even more so when Narcissa wed Lucius. I cannot remember ever loving him. I did what I was told to do. I am a Black, after all. Life had never offered me a choice."

Hermione listened, holding her breath. She had been desperate for Bellatrix to tell her about her life before she abandoned the Dark Lord. She needed to know. No matter how painful, dark and terrifying. She was desperate to understand. She reached for Bellatrix's hand and took it safely into her own.

"Rodolphus and Lucius introduced me to the Dark Lord on the eve of my engagement. I never realized how lost I was. Never knew how terribly lonely I really felt. When I met the Dark Lord it felt as if I finally mattered to someone. Someone final yaw my qualities, saw what I could do. Who put trust in me." Bellatrix's voice was nothing but a whisper. Her eyes were dull yet tears shimmered in the darkness "He made me one of his most loyal servants. He would give me the tasks where I could vent my anger and feed my hatred. He knew my weaknesses and used them against me to numb me completely. Rodolphus was jealous, I know. I never doubted he loved me. I never loved him. I was incapable of loving. No matter how loyal I was to the Dark Lord, I never loved him. I loved no one. Not even myself."

The silence that fell between them lasted for minutes, resting upon both of them like a heavy blanket. Hermione could hear her own chest beat softly in her chest.

"My marriage was a failure, a lie, much like the rest of my life. It was simply another thing on the list I had to fulfil," Bellatrix continued. It sounded as if she was talking to the darkness. She did not attempt to catch Hermione's gaze, her eyes fixed upon the floor. She hung her head in what almost looked like shame. "The night I was thrown into Azkaban I felt safe for the first time. Do not ask me why, I don't know. I remember the tormenting screams and the terrible cold. Yet neither was worse than how I felt inside. I didn't cry. I never cried. I was a dark, empty shell. And then the night came I escaped, fourteen years of utter silence and destruction. I ran to the only place I had ever known safety. The Dark Lord's side. Not because of him but because I know she would be waiting for me. Narcissa. She had always been there."

Hermione felt how she shivered now that Narcissa was mentioned but she did not stir. She simply lay with her head still resting against Bellatrix's chest, listening to the soft but steady rhythm of her heart.

Suddenly Bellatrix smirked. "My favourite colour is purple and my favourite dish is Narcissa's chicken soup. My favourite class in school was Transfiguration, though I never quite got on with Minerva. I remember her being the main teacher to give me detention. Slughorn loved me. Not because of my skills but because I was a Black. He loved all of us purebloods. Even Sirius, I remember. I attempted to play Quidditch but wasn't very good. I never did well in sports. I was much like you. I was always reading. My favourite spots were some of the corridors and underneath the tree by the lake. One night I was kicked out of the library after the curfew. I had lost track of time. My first kiss was from some strange Hufflepuff during one of the Christmas celebrations. Neither of us ever spoke about it. And my first time was with a Slytherin named Serena McGregor but when everyone asks I will say it was Rodolphus, since I was expected to be pure. I was not. I had slept with a few before I married. If My father would know, he would have had my head cut off and put beside those freaky house elves my aunt had."

Hermione couldn't help but giggle. "I love getting to know you," she whispered and now Bellatrix finally allowed herself to meet Hermione's chocolate coloured eyes. "It seems strange we never shared these things before. So many other people would have done. Maybe I should let you get to know me."

Bellatrix vaguely smiled and drew little circles on Hermione's temple. "Maybe you should."

"My parents are both dentists. They look after people's teeth. It isn't very exciting. There has never been a witch before in our family, as far as I can tell. No one ever mentioned it and I never found anything. If there is, it must be a family secret. I have always been clever, even in Muggle School. I was teased a lot because of it. They called me a geek. It hurt my feelings at first but it passed. When my Hogwarts letter came I was surprised. I never realized the things I could do were considered magic. I always had thought of myself as odd. When Minerva came to tell me I was really a witch I just couldn't stop crying," Hermione said and lifted up her head a bit. "I must have looked like such an idiot."

"I bet you were a cute idiot though," Bellatrix smiled and placed a random kiss in her hair.

Hermione smiled too. "My favourite colour is pink. Or blue. Depending on when you ask me. My favourite diner is shepherd's pie with thick gravy. I hate sprouts and white cabbage." She paused. "My first kiss was Victor Krum, the Quidditch player. But my first crush must have been Minerva, I think. But it passed. I thought I loved Ron but I realized I simply envied him for not being lonely. I felt lonely a lot. He and Harry had so much in common. Often they were just too stupid to understand how emotions really work. Being in love, really in love, did not happen until I met you." Her eyes sparkled. "And my first time, was with you."

Bellatrix couldn't hide her smile and shook her head. "Minerva McGonnagal was your first crush?"

"Oi!" Hermione defended herself and smiled too. She snuggled herself back against Bellatrix's warm body and cherished the moment they shared. It was intimate and yet funny. "And this comes from the woman who kissed a Hufflepuff?"

Bellatrix laughed. And her laughter carried on into the night. Hermione laughed too. She was glowing inside. Her heart raced in happiness.

"Good evening Bellatrix," spoke a familiar voice from behind them and Hermione quickly sat up as Bellatrix turned around. Behind them stood Minerva McGonnagal. She attempted to look stern but her green eyes sparkled behind her glasses and even her lips curled up into a tiny smile. "I am not even surprised to find you within these walls, Bella. At least I am not finding you and Hermione in the compromising positions I have found Mr Potter and Miss Weasley in."

Hermione grinned. Had Minerva found them twenty minutes earlier she would have done."I am sorry, Professor," she said truthfully yet she knew trouble was not hanging over her head. She glanced at her lover and playfully smiled. "I suppose it is best for you to leave, Bella."

"I would suppose so," Bellatrix said and let herself slide off the wall. She looked at Hermione and leant in, ignoring Minerva completely. She kissed Hermione softly on her lips. Somewhere Hermione still tasted herself and it ignited the passion inside again. She stroked Bellatrix's cheek before her lover pulled away and their eyes connected into one final, intense stare. "I will send you an owl tomorrow."

"Bye," Hermione whispered and watched how Bellatrix ran into the castle to find the entrance to the passage to the Shrieking Shack. She disappeared into the darkness. With a sheepish grin Hermione turned around again and her eyes met Minerva's. "I truly am sorry, Professor. I know I broke the rules."

"There is a first time for everything, Hermione," Minerva answered friendly and watched her closely "I must say I am glad to see you talk. I know there are things on your mind." She picked up the parchment from the floor and handed it back to Hermione. The Map had fallen out of her pocket. "I suggest you keep this close to you, Hermione. Next time it might not be me who finds you. And maybe you can suggest to Mr Potter that if he keeps his eyes on this map instead of Miss Weasley maybe next time I will not find him in the fifth floor corridor."

Hermione giggled and narrowed her eyes. "How much did you hear, Minerva?" she asked, dropping the formal tone of their conversation. From the little devious sparkle in her mentor's blue eyes she knew Minerva had just about heard enough.

"Enough to feel flattered for the remainder of this evening, Hermione," Minerva answered and without saying another word she turned around and she too walked into the castle, leaving Hermione still sitting on the wall. Hermione simply sighed in disbelief. She ran her hands through her hair and suddenly felt more energetic and alive than she had done in a long time. She remained where she was for a few more minutes, enjoying the silence and the pale moon light, as her mind took her onto a journey down memory lane. When she eventually slid of the wall and walked into the castle she tapped the Map again with her wand.

"Mischief managed."

She did not get a chance to return the Map to Harry for several days. Somehow, apart from being in class together, they kept missing each other. Gryffindor was having Quidditch practice almost every night, leaving everyone to struggle with their ever growing pile of homework. Hermione managed to visit the pitch to see Harry, Ron, Ginny and the others practice only once. Her other nights she spent in the library and the common room doing her homework. And being the good friend she was, she did some of Ron's, Harry's and Ginny's too. It was one of those nights as she sat in the tender lamp light and silence of the library that her eye fell on the Map. It was half past nine. She didn't have much longer before she had to return to the common room. Somehow her eye fell on the map. She had been glancing at it once in a while and had watched people undertake several actions. But now, her heart missed a beat. In the middle of the entrance courtyard a new arrow had appeared. And the writing above it was clear. Narcissa Malfoy.

Hermione slammed her book shut and threw it in her back. She grabbed her wand from her desk, pushed into the pocket of her robe and rushed out of the library. It felt as if her journey through the castle lasted forever, as if the world went by in slow motion. Her heart was pounding harshly against her ribcage, her lungs were about to explode. She could not believe Narcissa was here.

She reached the Entrance courtyard after what felt like an eternity. It was dark. She glanced at the map. The arrow had not moved. Narcissa was still there. Hermione tapped it with her wand as she whispered "Mischief managed" before pushing it into her pocket. She held still and allowed her eyes to adapt to the darkness around her. She did not hear footsteps but somewhere in the shadows she saw the cloaked figure.

"Cissy?" she whispered before aiming her wand and whispering "Lumos". The tip of her wand lit up and she now saw the cloaked shape of a person standing in the shadow. The shape turned around and in the light of her wand, Hermione found herself standing face to face with Narcissa.

"Lower your wand, Hermione," Narcissa whispered urgently, stepping further into the shadows "Before someone sees us. We both know I should not be here."

"Nox," Hermione barely breathed the word and the tip of her wand went dark. She narrowed her eyes in an attempt to see Narcissa and after several seconds she could make out the shape of the woman who was going to be her sister in law. Narcissa had removed her hood and her blonde hair and part of her face were now lit up by the soft moonlight. "Cissy, what on Earth are you doing here?"

"I don't know," Narcissa answered, looking away from Hermione "I have no idea why I came here. How did you know I was here?"

"The Map," Hermione said "But somehow I think you already knew that answer. Bellatrix told you about the Map, didn't she? Did you count on the fact I would see you, or whether Harry would and he would tell me? There must be a reason you are here."

"You," Narcissa's voice was nothing but a whisper, but it was honest and finally her blue eyes met Hermione's "I needed to see you. I need to talk to you, Hermione. And I don't want you to speak. I just need you to listen."

Hermione nodded and waited for what Narcissa had to say.

"You were right. Over Christmas, I mean, about how I look at you. I do. And I envy my sister. I always have but now it is different. I envy her for having you. I cannot help it, or explain it. It does not matter now. I definitely have feelings for you and I know it can never be. I have peace with that. But you deserve the honest truth. Had Bellatrix not been my sister I would have stepped in. Had she not been my blood I would have attempted to gain you for myself. But I love Bellatrix and I will never be able to do that to her," Narcissa said softly as her blue eyes filled with tears "I am moving out of the house next week. Being away from you will make things easier. I do not want you to give this anymore thought. I know you do not feel for me what I feel for you. I see you look at Bella. I know you love her. That is what matters."

"Cissy," Hermione tried to interrupt but Narcissa shook her head and silenced her.

"Wait! Even if I have stirred something inside you, you know you love Bella. And you will marry her. Hermione, you must never forget that many people love you. I just needed you to listen," Narcissa said softly and reached for Hermione's face. Her hands were cold when they touched Hermione's skin and both women shivered at the unexpected touch. "You need to move on, Hermione. And you need to do so wisely."

And without warning Narcissa put her hood back up and disappeared into the darkness. Hermione wanted to call her back but couldn't. Her voice had gone. And inside her, something had been awoken and at the same time something had died. And she touched the ring she wore around her finger, a faint smile lingered around her lips. And she knew Narcissa had been right. She had to move forward. And she knew exactly where that was. Forward was in London, with Bellatrix. Forward was her future and only she could control it. And she would. With every cell of her body.

"Thank you, Cissy," Hermione whispered to the darkness before she walked back into the castle and climbed the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. There she found Harry and she gave him the Map. She smiled.

"Here. I don't need it anymore."


	24. When The Rain Stops Falling

**This is the final chapter of this story. The story of Bella and Hermione's relationship has come to an end. This chapter contains little parts that put the last few things in place and create a lovely ending for our two beloved witches.**

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_All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother._  
_Abraham Lincoln_

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Spring arrived and everywhere flowers came out of their tight little buts and brightened the grounds with their tender colours. The cold wind disappeared and instead the weak spring sunshine peered through the clouds. Time went so fast. They were so busy studying and working for their NEWTS that they barely had a concept of time. Night after night Hermione found herself in the common room or the library doing her homework. In between she sometimes got lost in her daydreams and thoughts as her eyes drifted to the window.

It was one of those nights she sat in the dim lit library when the sound of approaching footsteps made her look up from her Charms book. She was surprised to find Minerva approaching her table. She was dressed in her familiar emerald green robes and was not wearing her hat. Her hair was bound back in a loose bun in the back of her neck and behind her glasses Hermione could see the worried look in her blue eyes.

"Professor, what's wrong?" Hermione asked nervously when Minerva held still at her table. She wondered why her mentor had come all the way down to the library to find her.

"Hermione, I need to speak to you urgently. Please follow me to my office," Minerva said. Her voice was both warm and friendly but Hermione picked up the trace of worry she had seen in her eyes. She closed her book and stuffed it in her back as Minerva watched her. She swung it over her shoulder and followed her mentor out of the library. Silently they made their way through the castle's corridors. It was quiet and dark. Most students had retreated to their common rooms. A few seventh year Ravenclaws sat together on one of the benches, practicing a Charms spell.

Minerva held the door open for Hermione and she stepped into the familiar surroundings of Minerva's office. The door closed behind them and Hermione sat down in one of the comfortable armchairs by the fire, leaving her bag on the ground by the floor. Minerva gave her a cup of tea, without asking Hermione whether she wanted it, before she sat down too in the armchair facing Hermione. The soft, gentle flames of the fire flickered warmly and happily in the fireplace.

"I received an owl from the Ministry two hours ago. It informed me of the raid on a house that belonged to a parent of one of my students. During that raid evidence was found that the wizard in question was attempting to recreate an attack as it was staged by Voldemort last year," Minerva said softly and her blue eyes met Hermione's brown. "Hermione, the raid was carried out by Bellatrix's Department. She led the raid herself. During this raid several wizards were present at the house and all were arrested and taken to the Ministry for questioning. Three of them turned about to be Death Eaters the Ministry had been trying to track down since the fall of Voldemort. The fourth..."

"Lucius Malfoy," Hermione did not need clarification. Her brown eyes had become dark and her fingers clenched the stone mug in her hands. She immediately thought about Narcissa and wondered whether she knew. And how she felt. And she thought about Bellatrix, once again walking the corridors of Malfoy Manor but this time with the intent to stop the rise of evil in its tracks. She thought about the anger and sadness she must have felt as she raised her wand and pinned it under Lucius' nose. "They raided Malfoy Manor? On what grounds?"

"Do you remember what I told you last year, right before Christmas? Lucius Malfoy had taken in a boy from Durmstrang School, who lost his parents in the recent war. The young man goes by the name of Marcus. Well, it turned out Marcus only lost his mother. There has never been a trace of his father in all his life. No record anywhere. Until now. The boy is definitely an orphan. His father died the night of the final battle right here at Hogwarts," Minerva said, her eyes now piercing into Hermione's "The young man bears a remarkable resemblance to the young Tom Riddle."

"Marcus is Voldemort's son?" Hermione gasped for air. She had never imagined that a wizard like Voldemort had reproduced, in whatever way. The thought of the most evil and dark wizard of all time producing a child was not only terrifying, but also sickening. She suppressed a gagging reflex. "How did they find out he was his son?"

"Apparently Marcus, apart from his physical appearance, also inherited some of his father's arrogance. He told the Aurors almost straight away he was Voldemort's son. Lucius claimed he did not know but no one believed him. Three wanted Death Eaters and the Dark Lord's son at his house," Minerva pulled a face that was a mixture between disgust and fear. "He is being accused of practicing Dark Arts as well as conspiring against the Wizarding community. All have been placed in Azkaban prison until trial."

Hermione put down her mug of tea. Minerva had made it sound like the arrest of Lucius Malfoy had been no big deal. But both witches knew better. This arrest and his motives had once again made the Wizarding world rock. She thought about Narcissa and Draco. She wondered if Draco would be strong enough to take anymore blame from people around them; whether he could sustain the endless whispering behind his back. And the idea of Voldemort's heir, his own blood, walking the surface of this Earth, was enough to make her blood freeze in her veins. She slowly looked up and found Minerva staring absentmindedly into the fire.

"I cannot believe Lucius Malfoy would be so stupid. I know he had the sort end of the stick when it comes to brains but I never thought he would be so desperate to reinstate the dark times," Hermione said softly. She remembered the fear she had seen riddled on his face, though mostly his emotions had been hidden underneath a blank mask and thin platinum blonde hair. "Is it really over now?"

"Is it ever?" Minerva retorted the question and Hermione had to admit she was right. There was always someone out there who wanted things to change. Someone who was angry and felt hatred in their veins. Who looked upon themselves and upon others with disgust. Who was terrified enough of the world to so desperately want to change it. There was no promise that one day another dark evil wouldn't rise again. Minerva slowly looked at Hermione and suddenly Hermione realized that the capture of Lucius Malfoy was not the only reason Minerva had wanted to see her tonight.

"Minerva?" Hermione questioned softly as she leant in. Her hand brushed Minerva's and the older woman captured Hermione's gaze. "You and I both know I could have read this all in tomorrow's Prophet. Why did you really want to see me tonight?"

"I received other news from the Ministry as well," Minerva stuttered, her voice becoming weak. She couldn't look into Hermione's eyes ant longer. So she lowered her eyes and looked at Hermione's hand on her own. "I don't know how to tell you this, Hermione, but Aurors in Australia located your parents early yesterday morning. I'm so sorry. They are..."

"Dead."

Hermione had finished Minerva's sentence abruptly and just stared at her mentor. She felt no tears sting behind her eyes. She did not feel her heart shatter in her chest. She did not feel the cold sensation of sadness overwhelming her. She pulled back her hand and sat up, her back straight, as her hands now lay folded in her lap. Her heart was still beating but her head... her head felt so terribly heavy. The image of the room slowly distorted into a blurry vision. The flames were spinning wildly before her eyes as the room disappeared into darkness. She fell further and further as the room disappeared and only empty darkness remained.

~()~

Her eyelids felt heavy as she attempted to open them. Something that appeared to be a bright light invaded the comfortable, numbing darkness that had surrounded her and she groaned at the unexpected pain in her head. She felt the presence of people around her and slowly the whispers found their way into her ears. There were voices around her. They sounded worried. Three, no four, different voices. She could hear the shuffling noise of footsteps closing in. She attempted again to open her eyes and very slowly the room around her began to regain its original shape.

She was lying in a bed. The mattress was hard but not uncomfortable. The covers were neatly pulled over her body and her head rested on a feather filled pillow. She was wearing her pyjamas. The realization of no longer wearing her robes made her sit up too quickly and the room began spinning again.

"Don't rush yourself, darling," spoke a soft voice from her left and it sounded as if a choir of angels was singing. It was Bellatrix's voice. It was her hand that rested on her own. It were her fingers that brushed the curls out of her eyes and touched the cold damp skin of her forehead.

"How long has she been asleep?" asked another voice. A male's voice. It was the only male voice in the room, she realized. The other voices all belonged to women. It sounded as if he stood a bit further back than all the others.

"Four hours," answered a third voice. The voice came from the end of the bed. The person to whom it belonged was standing at her feet. She recognised the voice straight away as well. It had the familiar Scottish accent and it been the last voice she heard before she fell into this darkness. Minerva.

"Will she be all right?" Another voice again. Another woman. It came from her right Narcissa.

"Hermione, can you hear me?" Bellatrix again.

Hermione could hear her. She fought to open her eyes again, slowly this time. Her surroundings slowly became clear and it took only a few seconds for her to realize she was in the Hospital Wing. On her left sat Bellatrix. Her face was riddled with worries but her dark brown eyes lit up when she saw Hermione open her eyes and a smile fell over her face. Her eyes then drifted to the next person in the room. It was Harry. He was standing behind Bellatrix and had obviously been talking to someone else in the room. Next to Harry, at the end of her bed, stood Minerva. She now looked delighted to see Hermione was awake. And finally, on her right and looking almost just as worried as Bellatrix, sat Narcissa.

"Welcome back," Bellatrix grinned and brushed another curl out of her eyes "I started believing you enjoyed being unconscious more than being awake."

Hermione frowned. She remembered being in Minerva's office. They were talking and drank tea. The fire was burning. And then darkness. "What happened?"

"You fainted," Minerva said softly, tears glistening in her eyes. She felt so terribly guilty. "We were in my office. I told you about your parents. And you fainted. I called for Madam Pomfrey and took you to the Hospital Wing. We met Harry along the way and he called for Bella and Cissy. Oh Hermione, I am so sorry."

"It is not your fault, Minerva," Narcissa spoke and looked at the Headmistress. Her blue eyes were warm and friendly. "That is one thing we all agree on at this moment in time."

"You need rest my darling," Bellatrix whispered and kissed Hermione briefly on her forehead. The skin where Bellatrix's lips had touched her was now glowing and Hermione strangely could not suppress a smile. "You are exhausted, Hermione. Minerva has offered me to stay. And so tonight I will stay. Cissy will return to London. And I think there are some people waiting outside who would like to see you though I believe that for the time being those visitors shall have to wait. I never knew there was such a thing as the Hermione Granger fan club."

Minerva shared a look of mutual understanding with Harry. "Harry, would you please be so kind to go and tell Mr Weasley, Miss Weasley, Mr Longbottom, Miss Lovegood and Mr Finnegan to return to their respective common rooms. They can see Hermione in the morning after discussing this with Madam Pomfrey. For tonight she needs rest." Her eyes caught Narcissa's. "We all need rest. It has been a long night."

And so Narcissa, Harry and Minerva all stood up and left after saying goodbye. Bellatrix still sat beside Hermione, her hand safely and warm in her own. Now that the others had left Hermione felt the tears sting in her eyes. She turned her head, trying not to cry. She didn't want Bellatrix to see her tears. She didn't want to cry.

"I am so sorry, my love," Bellatrix whispered a she lay her head down next to Hermione's on the pillow. Her black curls tickled the side of Hermione's face and Hermione stirred under the familiar feeling. "When Minerva told me what had happened I came as fast as I could. Cissy insisted on coming too. She was worried sick about you. We both were. Oh Hermione, I am so sorry. I wish they..."

"I know," Hermione whispered softly as her tears slid down her face and fell onto the pillow "I hoped my magic would have been enough to protect them, to keep them safe. How could I have been so stupid for even thinking I could protect them? How could I even believe it?"

"You did nothing wrong. You made a difficult decision to modify their memories and send them to Australia. You were brave," Bellatrix whispered, her voice betraying how she disagreed with Hermione "You made a choice no one ever hopes they'd have to make. And whatever happens now, we will get through this. I am right here with you. You are not alone. You do not have to deal with this alone. I am right here."

Hermione finally allowed herself to turn around. Her tears still fell from her eyes and she now buried herself safely in Bellatrix's arms. Her heart had broken in her chest. It felt shattered; the tiny pieces were cutting into her soul and ripping her apart. The pain was terrifying. Her tears were endless. And though Bellatrix held her so safely in her arms, she felt so terribly alone. She felt more alone than ever before.

~()~

It had been four weeks since Hermione learned her parents had died in the war. By now she knew they had been murdered by Voldemort's Death Eaters. They had traced them down to Australia and had recognised them as the parents of a Muggle born, a Mudblood. But because of their memory modification they did not even know they had a daughter, let alone she was a witch. Until the end they insisted they did not know Hermione Granger. The Death Eaters killed them, convinced they had been lying. Their bodies had been recovered on a graveyard, hidden in a grave that contained the bodies of several other victims. The mass grave had been unmarked, like their bodies.

The funeral had been two weeks ago. Ironically enough the rain had been pouring down from grey clouds that had packed over their heads. People hurdled and sheltered under black umbrellas. There was no magic. Magic could not conceal or cure pain and grief. Two black coffins stood side by side, next to the grave that had been dug into the depressive black soil. A simple white headstone would carry the names of her parents into eternity.

She had not been alone. Bellatrix stood right next to her, safely at her side underneath their black umbrella. Narcissa and Draco had been there too. All had been dressed in black. Hermione didn't know why she had requested everybody to do so. Even now that it was long gone, she still didn't understand. Minerva McGonnagal stood next to Hagrid. All the Weasley's and Harry had not bothered taking umbrellas and allowed themselves to be tortured by the ever falling raindrops. Andromeda stood next to Narcissa, clinging to her umbrella desperately. So many had turned out to be here with her but she felt alone. No matter how many friends and loved one surrounded her as the coffins were lowered into the dark ground and covered with wet soil, she was still alone. As alone as the single red rose she left on either coffin before turning around and walking away in the rain.


	25. The Final End

_All's well that ends well__  
proverb derived from the play by William Shakespeare_

* * *

**3 years later**

Hermione has passed her Charms, Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration and Defence against the Dark Arts N.E.W.T's with an Outstanding in all of them and had started her training as a Healer the summer after she graduated from Hogwarts. Her first two years she had been trained and placed at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries but now that her third year of training had started she was placed at Hogwarts, under the watchful eye of Poppy Pomfrey.

The day she married Bellatrix Black had been the most beautiful day of her life. They wed in a small church in the middle of nowhere in the south of England, surrounded by hills behind which the sun set as they enjoyed an open air feast with their guests. Her dress had been handmade by Molly Weasley and her appearance had caused many to blink and a few to shed a tear. Now she cherished the golden wedding band around her finger every day and longed for the moment she appeared in the fireplace of the house she shared with Bellatrix in London.

"I did not expect you home until tomorrow," Bellatrix said when she saw Hermione appear in the fireplace. She looked up from a file she had obviously taken home from the Ministry "Has Madam Pomfrey actually let you out early for once?"

Hermione kissed her wife on the cheek as she fell down on the sofa and pulled up her legs. "How I never noticed the woman is a drill instructor, I don't know," Hermione rolled her eyes "She never lets me have a spare minute. How does she expect I send an owl home if she never lets me leave the Hospital Wing?"

"Maybe I should have a word with Minerva. After all, I cannot tolerate my wife cannot write to me because the nurse has her looking after the patients all the time," Bellatrix giggled as she brushed her hands through Hermione's hair "I am happy to have you home though. So, what have the students been up to?"

"The usual," Hermione rested her head on Bellatrix's shoulder as she thought about the magical related injuries and the spells gone wrong she had seen "Have you heard anything from Harry and Ginny yet?"

"No. Molly said Ginny looks ready to pop any minute now though," Bellatrix thought about Harry and Ginny. Ginny was nine months pregnant and about to give birth to their first child. The last time she saw Ginny was last week and she looked thoroughly fed up with being pregnant and constantly moaned about the size of her body and how her feet were constantly swollen. Harry had simply kissed her on the head and said she was beautiful, whatever she looked like.

"Oh, Cissy said she'll be coming for diner on Sunday. Draco and Tabitha will be going to see Tabitha's parents in Wales so she is alone for the weekend," Bellatrix said as her lips brushed against Hermione's ear.

Hermione smirked. Life had become so ordinary and so normal. The days of her adventures with Ron and Harry lay well behind her. The three of them had grown up and found their own way through life. Ron had married Sarah last summer, in the back garden of the Burrow. Exactly like Bill and Fleur had done but without the Death Eaters this time. Harry and Ginny had married the winter before and announced the pregnancy not much later.

"I didn't know Cissy would leave the school during the weekends," Hermione said, frowning in surprise. "Maybe she bribed Minerva?"

"Did I not mention Minerva is coming too?" Bellatrix smiled and Hermione pulled a face.

Narcissa had started as a teacher at Hogwarts only this year, after having worked for the Ministry for two years. Minerva had requested her to join the staff and Narcissa had accepted almost immediately. She was now the new Potions teacher, since Slughorn thought it time to retire. And much to everybody' surprise Narcissa had the same skills and qualities as Severus Snape once had, only she came with a better personality and cleanly washed hair.

Hermione snuggled herself deeper into Bellatrix's arms and her eyes drifted to the picture on the fireplace. Her parents smiled back at her and she felt a sense of gratitude and warmth. Not a day passed by she did not think about them. Not a day passed by she did not miss them. But she knew they had died to protect her, though they never knew. And it was because of that protection she lay here now, in the arms of the woman she loved the most. This beautiful dark haired woman, with those beautiful deep brown eyes and tender smile, was her wife.

Hermione's hand rested gently on the swell of her stomach. Six months pregnant, three months more to go. She felt the baby girl inside her kick and smiled to herself. Life had become beautiful. And as she felt her little girl move inside and Bellatrix's heart beat in her chest, she realized everything had finally fallen into place.


End file.
